Beyond Right and Wrong
by Guard of the Heradi
Summary: Post-Season 1 Episode 13: How will B fare over senior year with only a new girl to teach her how to reclaim the few things that are really worth forgiving everything for... Ensemble: Blair, Chuck, Hazel, Jenny, Nate, Carter. Enjoy! xx
1. Chapter 1

**_Chapter 1_**

"_74: A person of genius is intolerable if he does not possess at least two other things: gratitude and cleanliness."_

**Good morning Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here. Welcome to the 2008-9 academic year, here's hoping you all had juicy summer vacations, I've had it on good authority that most of you did, just check out the archives! Anyone thinking of getting a fake tan to boast time spent on the beach, don't bother, I'll see right through the orange tint. Anyone still hoping for a holiday romance, sorry honey, time's up. Don't be too disappointed, right next door are the offspring of the greatest combinations of wealth and beauty, you can't go wrong. Anyone who didn't party enough... well, what _have_ you been doing with your time then? Besides, I wouldn't worry too much, school's about to start. No word yet on the first bash, but a party isn't a party until _I_ say it is right here. **

**SPOTTED: S, have you completely abandoned the UES for Brooklyn and Lonely Boy? Can barely remember the last time you were spotted on home turf without him. **

**N in Central Park, trailed by a particularly pungent smoke and at least five different freshman girls. Sorry, sophomores now. Sounds familiar… **

**H, J, P, K and I in Bendels, again, repetitive. Yawn anyone? Got enough photos of you guys in there, find a new scene.**

**Now here's something to wake up about: ex-Queen B, arriving in style at JFK, tanned from her summer in France with her daddy and his lover boy. Looking good B, how we have missed you. Well, **_**I**_** certainly have anyway. Returning to royalty any time soon? I hope so.**

**Also seen returning, our very own beloved C. Business in Monaco over? Or did you run out of girls and booze in your secret life over there? If only we could have seen it for ourselves, C how could you leave me out of the loop? You've got a lot of making up to do for me C, I expect plenty of scandal from you this year, particularly as it's senior year…**

**To all new freshmen at Constance-Billiards and St Judes, let me introduce myself: I am your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. On your first day, let me give you some advice: 1) learn who's boss and worship them at their feet, or you will undoubtedly spend the next four years in social hell. 2) If you see a certain brown-haired, brown-eyes, Burberry scarf-wearing boy with the smirk of the devil, try and keep your panties on, despite the temptation. 3) You're nobody until you're talked about, and the talking starts here.**

** Welcome to high school, my darlings, welcome to the best days of your life, and the worst. I'll be watching...  
**

** Now, who am I? That's a secret I'll never tell.**

**You know you love me**

**XOXO Gossip Girl**

Blair Cornelia Waldorf was awake long before her alarm went off. She'd been staring out the window in silence, listening the faint sound of New York early morning traffic, watching the sun rise over the Upper East Side. She'd been hugging her tiny figure in her black Vera Wang chemise for about half an hour, having slept so poorly she'd eventually given up trying to get some rest. Her stomach grumbled every few minutes, reminding her how little food she'd kept down the evening before. Her mom had taken her out for dinner to celebrate her returning home, to some new Japanese restaurant in Manhattan, and though the food had been delicious - the fish fresh, the sushi seasoned perfectly, the soup light and tasty, with enough spice in the noodles - Blair hadn't been able to eat much more than a few bites of only a few select dishes. Not that her mom noticed much, she'd spent half the time on the phone to some client or other, and Blair had serenely watched the sushi chef prepare the food in front of her behind the conveyor belt, and eavesdropping on all the conversations around her, wishing her mom would stop talking about Milan, to the people on the phone _and_ to her.

But no such luck. She wondered what else hadn't changed…

She'd spent the summer vacation with her father and Roman as planned, in her bedroom that she'd adored so much in the photos, tucked away in a beautiful, tranquil corner of France. She's spent her days lounging around in the sun, studying up for her senior year, her mind focused on Yale. After the disaster that was Junior year, she just wanted to keep her mind on building her life _after_ high school. Away from New York, away from Gossip Girl, away from Nate, away from Chuck…

Somewhere where people wouldn't think of her second to everyone's favourite blonde.

Away in France she had escaped the incessant bitching that had turned on her. Being alerted every now and then by Gossip Girl on her phone, with more to see on her laptop, was infinitely better than physically being in the city, where the rumour mill meant at times she'd been unable to step foot outside of her own home without sparking all manner of controversy (an exaggeration maybe, but a not too big one). Chuck's last hand had had a lasting effect. She could so clearly remember the day she realised just how long it was likely to be, more precisely the moment she realised. And it wasn't in the Palace bar, walking away from cruel words laced with scotch, although it was certainly… illuminating. But that was before Serena encouraged her to fight back, and reluctantly she'd scrounged the energy of will to turn up to school after the weekend.

And then she realised that which she hadn't wanted to, and it killed her desire for revenge. From there, she cascaded into a whole lot of things she didn't want to know, but ended up accepting nonetheless. So she watched as Little J rose to the top, along with Hazel, the blonde girl Blair had always written off as an airhead, whilst Isabel and Kati kept their old positions, except with new allegiances. She watched the silent feud between the new leaders of the pack for dominance, and the let the crap she subsequently got from their frustration wash over her without touching her. She gave a single retort, early on, right in Hazel's face to stand for every time after:

"I'll give you a comeback when you give me something worth coming back at."

And then smirked as Hazel failed to snap back and stormed away. Amateur. After that she feigned boredom and forced her will to ignore them. Thankfully it worked every time.

Mostly Blair had Serena to thank for that, along with her own stubborn pride that still hung on. Serena made up for her disappearance and stayed true and firm as a rock for Blair, just like she'd promised. They even stopped fighting as much, Serena learnt to take Blair's crap more often, understanding that Blair wasn't angry with her, she just had no one else to throw her anger at. Blair always made it up to Serena somehow, even though it wasn't usually with the phrase 'I'm sorry'. Usually it involved telling Serena to take the night off from being a BFF and go be a BGFF to Cab-Humphrey. Another thing; after spending perhaps too much time with the pair of them, Blair had gotten used to Dan, even learnt to respect him a little. Thus, whenever Serena was down from Dan being insecure over something or other, Blair was the one to pick up her phone and tell Humphrey -_not_ Cabbage Patch - to stop being an idiot. After all, God knows what _his_ best friend was advising him to do. Perhaps it was because she used his actual name in that phone call that he took her seriously.

As much as she loved Serena for being there for her, she knew that she was becoming a root in Humphrey's insecurities, namely in how little time he then got to spend with his girlfriend. And Blair wasn't bitch enough to jeopardise one of the best things that her best friend had in her life, so she took up her father's offer to visit, giving the two lovebirds all the space they needed, and made sure Humphrey was grateful for it. His surprise at her good deed had been gratitude enough.

She had other methods of combating her loneliness.

As for Nate, and Chuck… well, Blair didn't want to think about them anymore that much. She'd thought about them enough. She'd only be repeating herself in her head, and she was dreading the first day back enough as it was. The most she could think freely was that going to France, and putting an entire ocean of space between herself and her past had done wonders to her perspective.

Though nothing for her self-esteem.

Again, too dark for the first day back.

When her alarm clock finally went off Blair extended a slender hand to turn it off, her eyes never moving away from the view of the rising sun. She then counted the seconds, a smile slowly growing.

She reached sixty and her cell-phone buzzed with a new message. She walked over to the bedside table and smiled.

_Morning B! Rise and shine hun, breakfast and yours? Please please please xoxo S_

Trust S and B to have synchronised alarm clocks.

Blair's smile deepened. Last night was the first in a while that Serena had spent alone at home, alone meaning without Dan or Blair. When school broke out for vacation Serena's mom finally moved the Van Der Woodsens out of the Palace Hotel and back to their now finished town house, and took the Basses with them, preparing for - what Serena called, and both Dan and Blair agreed with - matrimonial hell. That's the day when Serena officially got her own drawer for her spare clothes in Dan's room. It was also the day when Chuck booked his flight to Monaco for the next day. Again. He left New York even faster than Blair did…

_Stop thinking about that_, Blair berated herself. The point was Serena had been asked to stick around to welcome Chuck home last night. For the Van der-Basses' sake, Serena had grumbled on the phone later, once Blair got home from the restaurant.

_Morning S, you know you don't need to ask xoxo B_

She sent her reply and turned to a letter that had been lying next to her phone on the table. It was from the headmistress, Ms Queller, asking Blair to report to her office before the first bell on the first day. It was in response to Blair offering her services to the school, in order to win more favour for her Yale application, and the letter emphasised she wasn't in trouble, she was merely being taken up on her offer.

As if she didn't have enough on her plate.

When she came out of the shower, hair dripping, Serena was lounging on her bed on the phone, presumably to Humphrey. Blair smiled in welcome in her fluffy bathrobe, trying not to burst with glee. She hadn't seen Serena in weeks not since Serena had visited for a week or so, after having heard so much about how much Blair liked it there. Serena returned her smile with one of her own, and spoke into the phone again.

"Dan, I've gotta go. I'll see you at school, ok? Love you." Serena said, ending her call as Blair rolled her eyes as she always did, grinning. The moment Serena hung up the two girls squealed a each and Serena jumped off the bed to give the damp Blair a hug, not caring if she got wet in the process, the two spinning round on the spot in their hug.

"Oh B, I missed you!" Serena gushed, unchanged.

Blair grinned into Serena's shoulder. "Missed you too, S."

The two parted and giggled at each other. Like the school girls they actually were.

"Come one, get dressed et cetera and come down for breakfast and we can head out. I'll go say hi to your mom, don't take forever, ok?" Serena called over her shoulder as she headed to the door to give Blair some privacy.

Please Serena. This is Blair Waldorf we're talking about here. Throwing on whatever is a look that doesn't suit her.

Nonetheless, Blair was blow-dried, brushed, dressed, mascara-ed and scrutinized in the mirror with enough time to eat a couple of mouthfuls, push around the rest of her food around her plate, down some freshly squeezed orange juice for Vitamin C, gather her things and carefully apply lip-gloss before being dragged out the door to walk to school, ignoring the appreciative eyes that followed them.

"So, how was last night?" Blair asked, masochistically. _Why, why, why did you have to ask?_

"Ugh, oh it was great." Serena answered sarcastically. "Actually, it was worth it just to see the look on Chuck's face when he saw us at Arrivals." She giggled at the memory. The level of disbelief on Chuck Bass' face had been priceless, particularly when her mom gave him an awkward 'welcome home' hug, and then when his father patted him on the back even more awkwardly and said that he glad to have him back. The skeptical twitch in Chuck's eyebrow wasn't as funny though. "Dinner was awful though, it was so awkward. Never seen anyone so reluctant to come back home."

Blair gave a bitter smile. "He can join the club."

Serena stopped and put her hand on Blair's arm. The school entrance was just around the corner, not yet in sight.

"It'll be ok, B." Serena gave her a strengthening smile. "I promise."

Blair just stared at her, expressionless and un-readable, blank to the world and shut off behind her defenses that were already rearming themselves, defenses that never really switched off, and rarely breached. Then finally she smiled, that rare smile that, to anyone who knew her well, said that there was no way of telling whether it was genuine or not because ever _she_ didn't know herself. It would have to be good enough though.

"Still with me, S?" Blair asked, hiding her nervousness.

Serena knew her better than that though. She nodded and smiled. "Still with you, B."

Thank God for being early. Dan was waiting for Serena by the gates, and all the other faces around looked new, freshmen, and didn't know who Blair, Serena or Dan were. Yet, anyway. Still, always nice to see a genuine welcoming smile first, before the fake ones or the bitchy sneers. Perhaps Blair would survive the day now. Regardless, she left Serena with Humphrey and headed inside to the headmistress' office. The secretary asked her to wait outside, gesturing to the seats next to the other girl who was waiting.

_Keep you in the dark_

_You know they all pretend_

_Keep you in the dark_

_And so it all began…_

Blair's head turned in surprise as the Foo Fighters upped the volume on the girl's iPod, MP3 player, whatever she was listening to. It wasn't that loud, but in the quiet waiting area it was still pretty audible. The girl herself didn't notice Blair's eyes on her: she had her eyes closed.

_Send in your skeletons_

_Sing as their bones come marching in… again_

_They need you buried deep_

_The secrets that you keep are at the ready_

_Are you ready?_

Frowning, Blair studied this new girl. Her legs, straightened out to support her slouching, sported black, almost knee-high, swede, wedge heeled boots with thin leather straps spiralling round to tighten them. They looked a couple of years old, but… still. A hint of black cotton socks on bare legs, and a navy, full pleated skirt that was just short enough to get away with it.

_I'm finished making sense_

_Done pleading ignorance_

_That whole… defense_

_Spinning infinity; boy_

_The wheel is spinning me_

_It's never-ending, never-ending_

_Same old story…_

Her plain, crisp, white shirt hugged what was probably a size ten figure and C cup cleavage. Her navy tie was tied up neatly around her neck in place, only the top button of her shirt undone for air, and the sleeves were three quarter length and folded back a bit at the elbow, emphasising the angle of her arms crossed over her impressive chest. One her left wrist was a simple, silver chain bracelet, adding an intriguing elegance.

_What if I say I'm not like the others?_

_What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays_

_You're the pretender_

_What if I say that I will never surrender?_

Framing her soft, vaguely Japanese inherited features was the darkest brown hair that had clearly never been dyed before, yet was naturally sun-streaked, straightened and curling ever so slightly under her chin as it gradually stretched to her chest. One side, the side Blair could see, her hair was tucked behind her ear, the other side falling freely further forward across her face, deepening her profile. Her dark eyelashes needed no mascara, her lips needed no lipstick, in fact Blair could only spot concealer under her eyes and on her chin.

_What if I say I'm not like the others?_

_What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays_

_You're the pretender_

_What if I say that I will never surrender?_

A new Constance-Billiard blazer hung over her lap, and the cord of her headphones trailed into a black Kangol across-the-body bag that sat casually next to her. Blair had never seen the girl before, yet she was too old to be a freshmen, she looked more like Blair's age. A transfer student maybe, but where from? And why did she look vaguely familiar?

Blair wondered if the familiarity came from her odd resemblance to Serena… in a limited sense. This girl hadn't shown up without a thought to her appearance, though the bare legs, lack of make-up and slouching screamed of Serena's chaotic beauty. But the tie, the straightened hair, the careful length of the skirt spoke more of… well, Blair herself.

Except the girl hadn't walked straight out of Saks.

Blair frowned to herself and turned away. The corner of her mouth curled upwards; she was still a snob, Blair thought, she hadn't left that behind in Junior year. So what if the girl wasn't wearing the wares of any fashion designer Blair Waldorf recognised? She still looked undeniably good. And she radiated something that neither Serena not Blair possessed, something Blair couldn't put her finger on…

"Miss Waldorf? Miss… err… Ka-ta-ya-ma-Argen?" The secretary ventured, hesitantly. The new girl's eyes flew open, revealing she hadn't really been asleep, and immediately focused on the secretary and nodded, smiling reassuringly as she took the headphones out of her ears and into her bag.

"Ms Queller will see you now." The secretary said, focusing on Blair. Blair smiled gratefully and went through the open door.

The office hadn't changed much since she was last in her, defending her ass after the incident in the pool. Shit, what was the guy's name, the one that hit his head and fell in… Blair let the sting of… whatever that unpleasant feeling was… bite her for a second and then let the thought pass.

That's not shame, is it B?

Ms Queller hadn't changed either. Still very formal, in a stylish, no nonsense, designer suit, and she still gave the impression of being a particularly cunning fox waiting for the right moment to pounce on its prey.

"Ah, Miss Waldorf, welcome back. Please, take a seat, thank you for coming early this morning." Ms Queller extended both arms to the two seats in front of her desk and sat down herself.

"Not at all." Blair said sweetly.

"Have you met Kei Katayama-Argen?"

Blair turned in her chair to face… Kei, was it? Her smile faltered when she saw Kei's eyes… they would have been Chuck's were it not for the green mixed in them. Suddenly it occurred to her how strange it was that she was noticing the little details first and adding them up into a large picture rather than vice versa. Perhaps it was those eyes… for all their softness, they seemed to catch up and engage you until they let you go. Eyes that saw a lot and was frank about it.

Peculiar…

"Kei, this is Blair Waldorf. Kei's just enrolled into the Senior year of Constance-Billiard from England, she'll be in your classes so I was hoping you wouldn't mind being a sort of… guide, for the first week or so. Just until Kei's settled in." The smile of Ms Queller's face told Blair this wasn't really a request. Blair smiled back and nodded. "Excellent! Blair here's one of our finest students, I'm sure the two of you will get on wonderfully." Blair blushed at the compliment and Kei gave her an impressed smile. "Now, you two had better head along to class before the warning bell. Welcome to Constance-Billiard, Kei, I hope you have a good year. Thank you Blair." She then effectively dismissed them by turning her full attention to her computer.

Outside, the two girls turned to face each other in silence. Blair caught a last glimpse of the look of pure amusement on Kei's face as she looked seemingly straight through the headmistress' door. Blair had to admit, it was a sloppy welcome. Then Kei met Blair's studying gaze and held it for a second before smiling amiably and extending her hand.

"Nice to meet you, Blair." To Blair's relief, Kei didn't have the accent Blair had been expecting. She'd been expecting something like Keira Knightley, so posh she must have come from Jane Austen's age, not today. Instead, Kei sounded… well, normal. 'Posh without being hilarious', Chuck had once said whilst they were having a movie night and commenting on the best British accents… oh crap.

Kei frowned slightly as Blair twitched her head as if to shake her thoughts out of her mind. She hadn't even seen the guy yet… and she was going round in circles. God what must Kei think of… oh.

She met Kei's gaze and let out a quiet laugh. She then took Kei's hand and shook it like a normal person.

"And you, Kei."

Don't worry, New Girl, she'd just losing her marbles, that's all.

XOXO

In a matter of hours, having Kei follow her around all day proved to be one of the most useful assignments she'd ever been given. Firstly, Kei didn't talk much. She seemed to speak with looks and smiles and studied gazes, taking everything around her into those hypnotising eyes. She paid attention in class, kept up with everything, and didn't both Blair one bit. It was great. That, and everyone was keeping their distance. Outside class Blair had seen Hazel, Jenny, Penny and co staring at Kei, their hawk-like view evaluative and their whispers not quiet enough to avoid being overheard.

"Who's the new girl?"

"What's she doing with Blair?"

The best one Blair heard was this: "Do you think she's… y'know… good enough?"

Come on. They actually had to discuss it amongst themselves? When Blair reigned it was her say and that was final. You rose and fell at her command, not the ruling of a _committee_. Nevertheless, they kept their distance due to that uncertainty, and because it was Blair. After all, who knew how much influence ex-Queen B had over NG (Gossip Girl's unoriginal initials for Kei, to Kei's vague amusement. What seemed more funny to her was that whilst Gossip Girl had managed to get her cell-phone number when she/he didn't even know her name). So, Blair had had an entirely stress-free morning.

_Morning._ Not _day_.

It seemed that Hazel, with many a glare and toss of her blonde hair, got the committee to rule in her favour. This new girl had spent only a few hours in Constance-Billiard and had more appreciative glances from the St Judes boys than Hazel had in months, despite being seemingly oblivious. About time Hazel learnt that all important lesson in bitching: keep your friends close, and your enemies even closer. Competition is always listed under enemy. Her temper was boiling high today: Jenny had turned up to school on the bus side-by-side with Nate Archibald, the ex-Queen B's ex-boyfriend, and smiles on both their faces. When they walked past her, neither had noticed. The nerve! This morning's Gossip Girl update hadn't been very complimentary either, she couldn't believe that Gossip Girl was cheering Blair on when it was she who had caused Blair's downfall. What the hell! Penny wouldn't shut up about how Chuck didn't notice her either in the corridor, and comparing that with Hazel being ignored by Nate.

"He did not ignore me." She'd hissed, trying not to snap.

"What do you think it means, though? I mean, Chuck and Nate are, like, the Kings of the Upper East Side if Blair and Serena were the Queens."

"Penny?" Hazel had glared at her. "Shut. Up."

Not only all that, but she'd almost failed a history essay, and her mom would kill her if she found out she wasn't concentrating on her studies. Still, finally the opportunity came to vent…

Blair had been putting her books insider her locker and get her lunch out when she noticed a shadows close in around her. Unshaken, she turned and rallied her defenses. Oh joy, Hazel had perfected her own bitch smile over the vacation, and she was joined by Penny and a couple of other sophomores that Blair didn't know by name. At the back, Isabel and Kati tried to balance their wish to go and their pull to stay.

"Hi, B." Hazel chirruped, sickly sweet. "We were wondering where your new protégé is. Haven't corrupted her mind already, have you?" Hazel smirked. "What do you reckon, girls? Think we'll find her behind the St Judes bike sheds? Or possibly the restroom, wasn't that a favourite haunt of yours last year?" She giggled cruelly, quickly followed by the rest of the group. Blair noticed, mildly gratefully, that Isabel and Kati didn't make a sound, merely looked down at their matching Jimmy Choos. "I wonder who you'll recommend her to, and to her… Nate or Chuck?" She grinned as she saw Blair involuntarily tense up at their names, her eyes turning ice cold. "I mean, Chuck won't say no to first _dips_, but Nate would be so much more of a challenge, a bit _cleaner_ too I imagine."

_What the f -_ Blair's fists clenched in anger, but before she could put an end to her silent front, the locker door next to her slammed shut, and the first thing she saw were a pair of cold, hazel eyes. Eyes that fuelled the smile that grew over Kei's face within seconds as she spied her prey.

"You must be Hazel, right?" Kei said, all charm. Hazel almost took a step back, she looked so taken-aback for a moment. She recovered quickly, twisting her face to match Kei's without looking caught out. "I'm Kei, the 'New Girl'. How d'you do. Can I ask you something?" Kei ploughed on, ignoring the worried looks on Hazel's friends. Whilst Hazel tried desperately to hide her uncertainty, Blair watched, fascinated and unfazed, waiting.

She was not disappointed.

"I'm new here to New York, and I don't know much about NYC fashion, but… is it, like, a _thing_, to wear your lipstick smudged over your face like that?"

The silence was deafening, as though her last few words were still echoing through the hallway. Everyone's eyes darted to Hazel's reaction, and to check for themselves.

"God, I'm so out of the loop, not knowing a thing like that. It's sort of all round here," Kei said, pointing around her own unpainted, unmarked lips to demonstrate. "How'd you get it like that? You haven't been sporting it for long, I noticed, I mean, your make-up was fine during history, it was just after you went back to see the tutor about that essay you did. I didn't realise that the teaching staff, as well as giving academic advise, gave tips on things as trivial as appearances."

Kei let the last word drag ever so slightly, pronouncing every syllable with extra care, making the word hang over the group. Instead of smirking however she just stared openly at Hazel, quietly daring her to conjure a comeback to top _that_. Hazel gawped at her like a stunned fish, all the colour gone from her face. Blair fancied she saw a light hint of green in there. Finally she pulled herself together, turning lobster red in embarrassment and fury.

"Bitch." She spat at Kei before flouncing off down the corridor, quickly followed by her astounded groupies. Kati and Isabel took their time: they were already on their phones.

Kei smiled and turned to face Blair, held up a bento box and asked her first proper question:

"Want to go find somewhere quiet to eat lunch?"

"_156: Madness is rare in individuals - but in groups, political parties, nations, epochs, it is the rule."_

_Hey people. This is my second fan fiction on this site, and my first for Gossip Girl. It mean a great deal to me if people reviewed this and told me what they think of it. I know that Blair has taken quite a departure from where the show left off, so I ask you all to bear in mind that this a good few months later, and that things would have drastically changed for some characters. Also I'd love to know what you think of Kei so far: little too far? Would love some constructive and long-winded comments, and some good hard honesty is always appreciated. Also if anyone likes Heroes, that's what my first fanfiction's for, based around Sylar. No one's reviewed in a while so I've ceased posting for the time being until someone shows enough interest, I have trouble writing otherwise. _

_By the way, I'm English, I have never stepped foot on American shores, so if I've messed up somewhere, with language or general things, please tell me for at least future reference. Not sure what will happen exactly in chapter 2, likely to be considerably shorter or it'll take a while to properly formulate in my head._

_ All quotes that begin and end the chapters, unless specifically stated otherwise, come from Friedrich Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil, specifically from the Epigrams and Interludes, translated by Marion Faber, I use them only as references, I do not have any claim of Nietzsche's work. _

_ I have no idea who originally came up with the 'keep your friends close and your enemies even closer', but I at least acknowledge that it doesn't belong to me lol. _

_ The song lyrics in this chapter are from The Pretender by the Foo Fighters, which I have NO rights over._

_ I have no rights to any of the characters with the exception of my own characters. They're mine, hands off please._

_Many thanks to Gleechild for replying to my messages and for your encouragement. I doubt I'd have the guts to do this otherwise._

_ Noticed this as I was editing: I'm using spellings recognised by my laptop on Microsoft Word Processor using the English dictionary for the United Kingdom, so I'm sorry if it looks like I can't spell._

_ Didn't sleep last night because I was writing for this, hope it was worth it. Argh so nervous lol. Thanks to anyone who takes the time to get all the way through this lol, hope you're all well, take care all xxx  
_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"_136: One person seeks a midwife for his thoughts, another seeks to act as midwife: the origin of a good conversation."_

"Why did you do that?"

Kei stared at Blair blankly, her eyes sparkling with mischief. Blair couldn't help but smile with disbelief. She kept wanting to pinch herself, Kei's comeback was just too good to be true.

Kei tilted her head, her straight hair shimmering in the colourless light, turning her sun streaks silvery. She stared right at Blair's expression and the two read each other's faces like covers of a book. Covers that actually represent what lies within. Kei watched Blair's shocked expression turn to bewildered to… touched? She smiled. The mischief in her eyes had already been replaced by its source, something that Kei was diving deep to find in Blair's eyes.

Ah… there it was.

"Mostly," she started, "because I'm not a slut, and I won't have some unoriginal brat accusing me of being one before she's even said 'hello' to me. Nor do I let anyone do the same to anyone else and get away with it. Lightly, anyway."

Blair smiled, still puzzled. Still not getting it.

Kei smiled too. Like a cunning fox. "Because I might be a bitch, Blair, but I'm a nice bitch too." She gave her black bento box a little shake and turned to go down the corridor. Further into the school, rather than towards the Met steps. "Come on, I found a place this morning, got a great view." She smiled to herself at the last bit as she turned again and started backing away.

Blair watched her for a moment and then skipped along to join her, and caught Kei's face light up with a smile as she turned around again.

The spot turned out to be a deep window sill that looked out over the entrance courtyard to the twin schools, where now people were streaming out and gathering for lunch. Blair looked out of the window just as Kati and Isabel walked through the courtyard, still typing on their phones excitedly. Just give it a few minutes…

Blair took out her phone and placed it on the sill, waiting. She followed Kei's example and jumped up onto the window sill's smooth wooden surface and her eyebrows twitched with relief to find the cleaning staff regularly and thoroughly dusted.

"So, do you want to tell me why Hazel was being so delightful just now?" Kei asked curiously. Her curiosity seemed both amused and irritated, conveyed in her arched eyebrow, light smirk, dripping sarcasm, and the way she sat up so straight for a moment as she opened her lunch, revealing fresh sushi.

"Hazel's…" Blair trailed off. Where to begin? "Hazel's just a bitch really." Kei chuckled as she took a pair of chopsticks out. She gave the bento box a tap in Blair's direction and offered her some sushi. Blair shook her head; she had a light green salad from Dorota, and muffin she was likely going to give to Serena. Looked good though, the sushi that is. "She's always like that when things aren't going her way."

"Like when she tries to seduce gay history tutors into upping last year's grades?" Blair's eyebrows shot up. Wait… what? "I have good gaydar." Kei said, shrugging. Blair burst out laughing. Oh, Hazel, as if you hadn't been humiliated enough today. "Let me guess," Kei said through a mouthful of sweet potato tempura. "Hazel is competing to be the next Alpha female, right?" Blair nodded. "So, who's the competition?"

"Have you met Jenny Humphrey yet?" Blair asked. Kei shook her head. "Blonde, tiny, sophomore. Little less noisy than Hazel, but far more… devious in some respects." Blair summarised, trying to hold back her bitterness. "They've been unofficially competing for the tip spot for months, so far neither's really come out top."

"Hmmm…" Kei smirked suddenly. "And then there's you." Blair fidgeted in her seat. "The ex-Queen B."

Blair looked up from her bite of lettuce. Shit. She didn't want to have to talk about that. And she didn't want Kei to know what had happened last year. She didn't want Kei to judge her too… it was so refreshing not being judged…

Kei however smiled at Blair's nervous expression and turned back to her kappamaki.

"Intriguing, isn't it, that one's social status can change with nothing more than a single message alert from one anonymous blogger." Kei remarked shrewdly, her voice laced with amusement. "Intriguing, that, really, all it takes is the judgement of one enigma to mark someone's rise and fall." She took a moment to chew on a bit cucumber that had fallen out of the last roll and then chuckled at Blair's anxiety. "ICT was a bit boring, so I took advantage of our over-simplified assignment to check Gossip Girl's archives. Bloody hell, the girl - if she _is_ a girl - writes a lot. Got to about January before the bell went by skim reading."

Blair's stomach turned sour. Where was the nearest restroom…?

"Blair?" Kei's voice brought her back from her panic. The amusement had vanished from Kei's face. Oh God… "Do you honestly think I give a shit?"

Huh? Blair's face froze.

"I've heard of and seen much worse." Kei put her chopsticks down. "Back home I have a friend who would _routinely _go out clubbing with me and crash parties so she could pull. The number of times she's pulled me into a pharmacy to get pregnancy tests and the morning-after-pill…" Kei shook her head sadly. Then she looked up at Blair and stared straight into Blair's eyes. Who desperately wanted to look away and couldn't. "I'm not the type to conform to majority opinion. Especially if that majority opinion comes from some weird online stalker. I prefer to form my own opinions myself." She then smiled encouragingly. "So, why don't you tell me what actually happened to you last year, and who Chuck and Nate are?"

Despite Kei's smile, Blair found no relief.

That didn't stop the truth from pouring out.

XOXO

Charles 'Chuck' Bartholomew Bass had just finally found a comfortable position to sit in in his chair when his phone vibrated, already streaming the glee of the sender of the message. His pen paused on the paper as his eyes glanced over at the disturbance and the finished his sentence. Then he removed his other hand from his forehead and picked up his new message.

**This just in! Seems H went fishing and caught a shark. And this one has **_**very**_** sharp teeth. Our New Girl has quite a bite, as well as bark. Without naming names, H, what's this about you being icky with a tutor? Particularly a male tutor who boyfriend happens to be a UES dentist? Surely you weren't that desperate to improve your grades, were you?**

**Thanks for the zoomed-in photo, TwinKI'08! H, a lesson in secret seduction: afterward, check hair, shirt buttons, skirt isn't tucked into your La Perlas, and lipstick. For next time maybe…**

**And here's the interesting bit, guess who New Girl was defending? None other than ex-Queen B. Finally, a worthy ally! No offense, S, but this is a war of the bitches, not of the innocent angels the rest of us **_**pretend**_** to be to our parents. Lonely Boy's had too much influence on you…**

**Speaking of war, H, learn to choose your battles more wisely. Surprises evidently don't work for you.**

**SPOTTED: S and Lonely Boy making out for lunch. Do those two even get to eat?**

**N and J 'coincidently' bumping into each other on their way out to the steps. Hope you brought your body spray, J.**

**As for ex-Queen B and New Girl, our search has come up with nothing. Try harder people, you're making me look bad! No one's found C either. Boy, where are you hiding? I have enough photos of a fuming H, don't need any more, amusing though they are.**

**Come on people, you know you love me.**

**XOXO Gossip Girl**

Chuck smirked all the way through the message. He sighed quietly with relief at his mention, he'd prefer that Gossip Girl _didn't_ announce where he spent his free moments at school. The people around him weren't instinctively checking their phones, despite a number of instantaneous beeps and vibrates. They hadn't done that last year either. Thank God. If they did, no doubt he would have found somewhere else to escape to. But there, no one seemed to care. Which was exactly what Chuck wanted.

After Nate had found out last year that Blair had been sleeping with him - if the phrase could be allowed, given how few times they had slept together… oh boy, don't go there - and promptly threw him against his own limo, Chuck had learnt to stay out of Nate's way. He'd hoped that the clenched fists would eventually loosen, the furious looks dissolve, but they didn't. Not even getting high as often as Nate did back then helped, the golden boy remained stubbornly un-mellow at him. So in the end he gave up waiting for his ex-best friend to forgive him. He spent the weekend getting completely pissed out of his skull in his suite at the Palace Hotel and throwing up in his bathroom when it got too much, as if he was trying to dispel the contents of his head as well as that of his stomach.

Then his father had the marvellous idea of throwing another of his society brunches and ordered his son to attend, ignoring Chuck's incurable hangover. He'd sat in silence with Blair, Serena, Nate, Kati and Isabel, indifferent to the tension and the thick silence. Blair looked so tense in one of her mother's unflattering creations, next to Serena who nervously pulled Blair out of her seat to mingle, never leaving her side for anything. Nate was so clearly high it was amazing the boy was conscious, he was ignoring absolutely everything, including Isabel and Kati's whispered conversation, the pair shooting all of them different looks: Blair's back received cold disgust, Serena bitchy amusement, Chuck glared back at them before they could glare at him, and Nate obliviously received that intrigued look you see on girls' faces when they're considering pursuing a guy.

Even high, Archibald could still get attention.

But, like the good offspring of Manhattan's high society, they all behaved themselves. Every time after they were all forced together they all acted like perfect ladies and gentlemen. In other words, they pretty much ignored each other as much as possible, and practised their fake smiles the rest of the time. It was the only way to go.

Well, Nate ignored all of them, except Serena. Still, after everything, the idiot couldn't help but gaze like a love-sick puppy when doped up. Good thing Humphrey never attended these things anymore, given how well his first one went, otherwise Chuck doubted Nate would leave without at least being shoved into a tray of hors d'oeuvre. Serena, to her credit, ignored Nate completely and focused her attention on taking care of Blair, steering her along, whispering encouragement and tried to keep off her phone, as if aware of how much her happiness with her boyfriend stung Blair.

Or rather, not so much stung… Chuck might have ignored Kati and Is a lot, annoying as they were, but he always kept a reluctant eye on Blair. Whenever she saw her best friend swoon over Humphrey she always tried to hide an odd form of jealousy: one that didn't resent Serena, nor one that implied any desire to have exactly what Serena had with Humphrey… it was more like she missed that kind of happiness, that kind of wistfulness. Her shoulders would loosen in a wave of hopelessness and then tighten again in resolve and she's disappear in the direction of the restrooms.

He didn't exactly like thinking about Waldorf. There was too much bitterness.

And not the bitterness he had expected.

He was surprised that _she_ had never found him though. Of all people she too needed somewhere to hide. Chuck never lost his reputation quite the same way she did: she was labelled a slut and a whore and sunk from the top of the food chain right to the bottom. He became a two-faced backstabbing prick, but that wasn't much different from before. People still had to treat him with respect: unlike Blair, he didn't lose his resolve to make people pay if he didn't like how they treated him. Besides, he was one of the few sources of pot in school, so they had to be nice. Others couldn't help but admire him for getting into Blair's pants first, quite the accomplishment, considering how tied to Nate she'd been before their first major break-up. He wasn't sure which lot were worse. Not that the first lot stuck around for long, considering that he eventually quit smoking altogether. Seeing his old best friend's brain cells clearly deteriorate into mush had been quite the wake-up call.

Realising that he could no longer concentrate, Chuck placed the lid back on his Cartier fountain pen and started stuffing his belongings in his bag. The last thing he picked up was his phone and, remembering, he read Gossip Girl's update again.

He'd actually witnessed the short fight himself. He's been meaning to find Serena on family business - and attempt not to mention bath time - but when he heard the bitchiness in Hazel's voice towards Blair he ducked round a corner to listen. He was glad he did in the end, he had been about go round and retort to Hazel himself, but the new girl's answer was far better than anything he could have come up with at the time. Finally, a friend worthy of Blair Waldorf.

Maybe things would stop being so dull now.

The scene reminded him that he still hadn't talked to Serena, so he stuffed his phone in his pocket and made his way to the entrance courtyard.

To his complete lack of surprise, his soon-to-be-stepsister was there, sitting on the steps, giggling with her boyfriend's arm round her, about to lean in for a smooch. Ugh. Chuck rolled his eyes and gave them a moment, waiting for them to part for air, smirked as it took several moments and then…

"Hey sis!"

Humphrey groaned immediately, the kind of groan exclusive to being interrupted by Chuck Bass. Serena scrunched up her face in irritation and finally pulled her face away from her boyfriend's.

Still ugh.

"Hi Chuck. What do you want?"

"Well…"

"Don't start."

He smirked. Glad to know the jab about bath time had lingered over the summer. Still, this business was a little more mature than that.

"Brooklyn, do you mind giving me and your girlfriend a moment to talk? Van Der Bass business." Chuck asked. He suppressed the urge to roll his eyes when Dan raised an eyebrow at him. He raised his hands in peace, smirking. "I'll behave."

Humphrey turned to Serena and Chuck fought the next urge to gag at one of their telepathic-coupley-things. Humphrey the smiled at he, gave her a kiss and moved. About ten feet away. This time Chuck did roll his eyes before turning to Serena in all seriousness.

"I want to know your honest opinion of how your mother would take it if I moved back to the Palace."

Serena stared at him for a moment as if she was waiting for him to follow it up with some joke at her expense, but when none came she finally showed her surprise. "Err… I don't know." Chuck raised an eyebrow slightly, to hint at his failure to be impressed with her answer. To Serena's credit however she then thought about it before giving a proper answer. "Honestly? As much as I don't love having you around in my home… she'd mind."

Damn it. If even Serena, who openly detested him still, could admit that leaving the new domesticity of their 'family', then it had to be important. He leaned his head back and sighed. Damn it. Returning last night at JFK had been horrendously embarrassing for just about all of them. Before Monaco he'd had a taste of living under the same roof as his father and future stepmother, and he'd never felt so awkward. Hell, just living with his father was bad enough, acquiring a stepmother, stepsister and stepbrother hadn't been a bundle of laughs, even if he'd found plenty of laughs out of annoying Serena about it.

Guess he'd just have to adapt… God help him.

Keeping his head back, he opened his eyes, took a deep breath and then immediately focused on the subject of his next question.

"Another thing: how's Blair?"

Serena instantly paled as she glared at him. "She's fine." She said defensively.

"Uh-huh. Not with her today?"

Serena's forgetfulness hit her like a brick wall and she looked panicked. She'd meant to go find Blair after class for lunch but Dan had found her first and she'd ended up… distracted.

"Relax, Van Der Woodsen. She's just up there." Chuck said, pointing up at the window. Serena turned and sighed with relief before heading into the building. There was Blair with the new girl, and as Chuck lingered under the window they both looked up from something, looked at each other and then simultaneously burst out laughing. Chuck couldn't help but smile to himself. Blair's contentedness was evident even through the window and a couple of storey's down.

God she looked beautiful when she wasn't depressed… _don't_ go there, man

XOXO

"Wow." Kei said. Blair had just finished explaining… well, almost everything. All of the events of Junior year and a little more and a little less. Blair didn't hold that much back, the words tumbling out of her mouth, swallowing only her darkest secrets, things she didn't want to think about or were so ashamed of barely anyone knew. Her… condition, for instance. That Kei didn't need to know. "What a mess."

Blair nodded sadly. She stuffed another lettuce leaf in her mouth, just so she had something to do, avoiding Kei's gaze, dreading Kei's judgement.

"I'm sorry."

Blair's head shot up in surprise. All Kei had in her eyes, her face, her thin smile, was sympathy.

"Having your heart broken by one guy is hard enough, let alone having it broken by _two_." Kei suddenly smiled. "No matter how tough we are."

Blair couldn't help but snort at that one. Yeah, she was tough, Blair knew that. Didn't mean it hurt any less. It just didn't hurt all the ways people expected, that's all.

"Seems to me," Kei said through a mouthful of fresh ginger, "that all you lost that was worth holding on to from falling from the top was the protection it afforded you. Let me guess, you were untouchable up there, right?" Blair thought about it for a moment, and then nodded. "Well, there are other ways of attaining that. And quite frankly, if being an Alpha girl meant hanging around with twats like Hazel and her lot, surely it's a bonus to miss out on her company."

Blair chuckled. The girl had a point, she hadn't missed the company. Is and Kati might have made perfect adoring assistants, but she couldn't say she missed the oh so intellectually stimulating conversation, or any of the others. As arrogant as it sounds, Blair knew they didn't really compare to her; there was a reason why she'd been _Queen_ B.

But the leers, insults, complete disrespect of everyone who followed Gossip Girl's law… she could do without that. She wanted to hold her head high and proud again, and not be judged by the jury. Hell, she didn't even want to be on the jury, she wanted to be the _judge _again.

"And if I were you I wouldn't give a damn about what people think of you for sleeping with two guys. Trust me, time doesn't mean shit if it was worth it, and it's not their place to judge, I bet they've all got their own dirty bed sheets that they don't want to hang out in the open. As for your two guys," Kei continued, this time her tone quieter and more cautious, "I can't judge, I haven't met them yet. All I can say, is that Nate was a hypocrite, and Chuck was a backstabbing bitch. But…" Kei frowned, and then met Blair's gaze. For once, Blair desperately wanted to know what Kei thought. "Somehow I understand Chuck better than I understand Nate. They're both fools… but in very different ways, and neither easily forgivable ways."

Blair suddenly felt empty. It's a funny thing, when your own judgement is repeated back at you, realising that maybe you were right about something you weren't really sure about. Which bit she was right about however she wasn't sure...

Then Kei suddenly grinned in her sly fox way. "Tell you what, I'll work on a way to cut the crap from our lives, consider it my thanks for your being a brilliant welcome guide to Constance Billiard, ok?"

Blair chuckled at the randomness of it. "Why? I didn't do anything."

"On the contrary. You weren't a bitch to me yourself."

Blair met Kei's piercing eyes and sank into the girl's smile. She suddenly realised she really had met her match… a feeling she'd had only once in her life, many years ago… and she mirrored Kei's grin in celebration. Finally… maybe things really would change around here.

Blair's phone vibrated with another message. They'd ignored Gossip Girl's update when it came, too focused on talking and listening. As Blair read her new message Kei got her own phone out to read Gossip Girl's post.

_Sorry B, got distracted, just on my way your window! xoxo S_

Blair smiled and then read what Gossip Girl said about Hazel. Ouch… she looked up from her phone, met Kei's own equally amused look and the two burst out laughing, unaware they were being watched from below. They were still giggling uncontrollably when Serena and Dan found them, clutching their sides as they quoted how Gossip Girl had written her spotted section at each other, only to start laughing again. When asked what was so funny by Serena, who was giggling at them, they just laughed some more and pointed at their phones. She didn't get it. Serena was one of the few girls at Constance Billiard who was indifferent to Gossip Girl's ruling, but she hadn't heard Kei earlier.

_Intriguing, isn't it, that one's social status can change with nothing more than a single message alert from one anonymous blogger…_

Blair had finally seen the funny side of it, the sheer ridiculousness of such a phenomena. And about time too.

"_137: In dealing with scholars and arts, we easily miscalculate in reverse: not infrequently, we find behind a remarkable scholar a mediocre person, and often, in fact, we find behind a mediocre artist - a very remarkable person."_

XOXO

_My sincerest apologies for taking so long to write again. I do have every intention of making sure I keep going with this fict, no matter what happens on the show soon enough. My updates will be somewhat random I imagine, some coming very quickly and others taking a very long time. Please stay with me though._

_My thanks to all the people who have added up to over 250 hits for the first chapter! And extra thanks to those who subscribed to it or reviewed, made my day every time I got the email alerts for them!_

_I don't own Gossip Girl, be it the show or the books, bother. Nor do I own Nietzsche. And there's a big typo on the Author's Note on the first chapter: I DON'T have any rights over The Pretenders by Foo Fighters lol, will sort that out when I can. Actually, how do I edit chapters? Help…_

_Speaking of help, if anyone reading this is from New York City, please get in touch, need some advice._

_Again, I'm so sorry for taking so long, won't make any promises about the next chapter, other than it'll include Nate and Jenny and it will be written. I just don't really know when._

_Please review! Take care everyone xx_


	3. Chapter 3

**_Chapter 3_**

_81: It is terrible to die of thirst on the ocean. Does your truth have to be so salty that it can no longer even quench thirst?_

"Sorry, what?"

Nathaniel 'Nate' Archibald was not quite with it. It was lunch break, and he was high during his first day of senior year already. A fantastic way of starting the semester. His parents would be so proud of him.

Nate pulled his gaze away from a particularly interesting flock of pigeons and stared at Jenny. So pretty… so teeny and tiny. Nate didn't register her worried expression, he was so out of it. God, it was strong stuff.

"How's your dad doing?"

Dad…? Oh him. 'The Captain'.

"He's fine." Nate said, coughing slightly. "He's getting out of 'hab soon. Keeps going on about making early applications to Dartmouth."

Captain Archibald was almost as in denial about that as his mother. Nate's grades had been so average and mediocre last year he would be surprised if he got into any college of any respect or notoriety. His father's plans for him were now hilarious… what was it again? Oh yeah… Dartmouth, law school, Blair.

Ha.

It had been so many months since he had found out that Blair had slept with Chuck: his girlfriend - ex-girlfriend - with his best friend - ex-best friend. And yet he still glared at her whenever he noticed her. Which wasn't often: firstly, he was lucky and secondly, he was so out of it half the time he barely took in anything. No wonder his teachers had quickly gotten bored of snapping their fingers repeatedly in front of his face to gain his concentration on their classes. One of them, a highly respected teacher at St Judes, had even whacked Nate round the head with an old copy of Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew to inform him he now had detention after school, in which he was expected to explain whether or not he liked the play and why. After about fifteen minutes of rambling about how he couldn't stand Katherine because she was probably screwing Petruchio's best friend - whoever that was - the tutor asked him if he'd even read the play, told him he was a first class idiot, and then dismissed him before Nate even registered the insult.

Yeah, the boy was still a little bitter about his ex.

Even after all this time, Nate refused to forgive Blair. Refused to forget. And thus pushed his feelings of revulsion to the forefront whenever he saw her, heard about her, and whenever he thought of her. He refused to understand. Were he to properly analyse his thought processes there, he'd see how stubborn he was being, and how unfair he was being. And how much extra trouble he was making for himself. See, for Nate, his sleeping with Serena - once! - was not comparable with Blair sleeping with Chuck. Never mind that he had cheated on Blair when he lost his virginity to Serena, never mind that Blair had at least left him before sleeping with Chuck. Never mind that Serena had been Blair's best friend, never mind that Chuck had been his. What he did give a damn about was the feeling of utter betrayal, the hurt he felt.

Never mind that Blair had been put through the same, no, _worse_, but had, as always, concealed it as best she could. So successfully, it was actually a bit frightening sometimes. Not that Nate had ever really noticed much. It was always Chuck who knew her best…

Who knows what he would have thought if he considered that simple statement. After all, a single sentence that had multiple meanings? Thinking about it would probably have made his brain melt from the effort, the pot-induced haze was so heavy.

Jenny sighed. Nate always did this, just drift off into his mind whilst she was talking to him. He never realised how painfully obvious it was, how his face turned so vacant when he smoked. She'd tried a joint once, over the summer vacation when he'd offered at a party, but she'd coughed so violently at the third puff that she'd given up on it. She couldn't see the appeal anyway. Who would want to get that out of it, that out of control? Weird.

Besides, Jenny couldn't afford to become a stoner like Nate. She had an image to uphold, and places to climb to.

For someone so young, a fifteen year old sophomore, Jennifer Humphrey was a natural socialite. God knows what she would have been like if she'd been born into a family like the Archibalds, the Van Der Woodsens, the Waldorfs, into _money_. If the knock-offs were the real thing. If she wasn't from Brooklyn. Then, maybe, she would have emerged as the official Queen Bee of the Upper East Side, and had the whole school eating out of the palm of her hand.

Rather than compete with Hazel.

Jenny had certainly made her mark, far more effectively than Hazel had anyway. Hazel had followed Blair Waldorf's footsteps, and, in Jenny's eyes, had failed superbly. Blair Waldorf might have been a bitch, but she was smart bitch, and she had always picked her battles wisely. And more importantly, Blair had known the art of subtlety: she didn't go looking for fights. Hazel however did not know the real meaning of a well placed compliment, a fake smile, a paid-forward favour. Hazel barked and bit whenever she damn well felt like it, fed on her insecurities rather than concealed them. Jenny was not so naïve that she was incapable of appreciating how well Blair had ran things in her reign.

No… Jenny's naivety lay in other areas…

Jenny had used the last few months wisely. She'd picked the right parties to attend, danced and talked with the right people, flirted lightly enough to be liked and noticed without putting herself back in a certain situation… No, Jenny had used her single status well, had bided her time. Hazel on the other hand had pulled the captain of the St Judes soccer team at the beginning of the summer and then went through a very public break-up that even Gossip Girl hadn't taken all that seriously. Meaning, even the elusive observer who chronicled all the best scandal of their lives had forgotten about the episode within a week, even if she had milked it for all it was worth in that week, gradually loosing interest.

As for herself on the much watched gossip page, Jenny had learnt well that she was in a much better position than Hazel. She's just read Gossip Girl's latest update, and had hid her victorious smirk. Hazel's downfall had officially begun. Before, the girl had been more of a running joke for Gossip Girl, a pale imitation - complete with Waldorfian headbands - of more glorious days. Oh yes, Jenny much preferred her own position… although it would be nice to be mentioned a little more often. After all, she was _almost_ dating Nate Archibald, the golden boy himself.

Well, ok she wasn't dating Nate, in any way, shape or form. They were friends… of a kind. To put it bluntly, she fancied the pants off him, would give a lot to make that literal, and he… liked her more than he liked most people at St Judes and Constance Billiard, but that wasn't saying much. It was the pot, she reasoned. Once he stopped getting high he'd notice her. Then everything would be wonderful.

She could remember perfectly the moment when she realised how much she wanted him. It was at the first party of the summer, Blair was completely out of the picture, now vacationing in France, whilst Hazel had been snogging Jackson, the soccer captain. Penny had spent every minute that night checking the door to see if Chuck Bass had arrived, despite Gossip Girl's report that he'd left for Monaco, whilst Isabel and Kati shared mutual looks of disguised disgust at Penny's desperation. Nate had walked into the room, his dark golden hair falling into his eyes, in a stiff black shirt and black jeans, spotted her without deliberating looking for her, and smiled.

Oh boy. How she kept it together without fainting is still beyond her. Every other girl around her who also caught that smile barely managed it either.

After that she'd milked their 'friendship' - which had formed out of their understanding of the Masquerade Ball, their honest talk during Blair's seventeenth birthday party, her confession of Chuck and Blair's affair, and a dozen or so innocent coincidences in school hallways - for all it was worth. She never became his Serena though, but that was a good thing, she told herself. She wanted to be his Jenny.

Or, failing that, his Blair maybe?

At her worst moments, Jenny had to give Blair credit: she had no idea how Blair managed to stay with him for so long. Though why she'd moved on to Chuck Bass for a bit…

Even with his mysterious aloofness, Chuck Bass still posed a vague threat. Before his departure for Monaco for the summer, he'd made it perfectly clear how unimpressed he was with her social climbing. He had easily found out from Nate that it was Jenny who had ratted out his affair with Blair, and from that point on every time she saw him she got the pleasure of his look of pure disdain. Chuck Bass was not known for being malicious; mischievous definitely, but he'd rarely ever hated anyone. So when she realised how threatening that cold look in his eye was, she had sat on a barely contained panic for the rest of the year. It was a much understood rule of social life in Constance Billiard and St Judes: Blair had held top position by being the girlfriend of Nathaniel Archibald, the golden boy of UES society, and by holding the respect of Chuck Bass, the master social manipulator. Without Bass, Blair would probably have been only half as influential as she was: it was quite a mark for Chuck Bass to respect any female, and thus put her a cut above the rest. Not even Serena Van Der Woodsen in her glory days had had that honour.

It was puzzling however: despite the blatant and barely hidden looks of malignant disregard - which no one was really observant enough to notice - Chuck Bass didn't make a single move against Jenny, never sabotaged her, never tricked or trapped her. But his glares never ceased. It was as though he was waiting for something…

Straying from her anxieties about the Upper East Side's most notorious party boy, Jenny glanced at Nate sitting beside her. Sometimes… she wondered…

Don't be silly, she chastised herself in her head. Of course not. She put the horrible niggling thought aside and smiled as she declined a smoke of his joint.

Congratulations Little J, you've become a true Upper East Sider. Fake smiles and denial all round.

The warning bell rang. She gathered her things, stood and waited. Nate didn't notice, just carried on staring into space. She cleared her throat and finally got his attention. But he stared at her blankly, his brain not computing that he now had class.

"The bell just went," she pointed out. He frowned at her for a moment, not getting it and then lit up with understanding, making her heart race with affection to see his shining smile.

"Oh, yeah, god, yeah, I have class…" He gushed, disposing of the spent joint and got to his feet. He then smiled at Jenny again, who ignored how stoned he looked and focused on how good looking he was, how irresistible. "Come on, I'll walk you to class."

Even high, Nate was ever the gentleman. Bless him.

Jenny would end up regretting letting him do that. Once, it meant he ended up being late for his class, and two, it broke her fifteen year old heart.

It was then that Nathaniel Archibald first laid eyes on the new girl.

XOXO

It was Blair who noticed first. She, Serena and Kei were walking down the hallway to AP Mathematics. She had Kei and Serena flanking her on each side, and had been chatting amiably to the two of them. The three of them had been giggling over one of Serena's tales of life with the Van Der Bass family when she saw Nate and Jenny, heading slowly towards them.

Even at the other end of the hallway the smell of pot was somewhat pungent. Blair wrinkled her nose. Jesus, she had never let him smoke this much when they'd gone out, what on earth was Jenny doing with him? What an amateur. Then she noticed the look on Nate's face. That one that always filled her with rage because it was the look he had reserved for when he saw Serena when they were a bit younger. Like he'd seen an angel.

Except Serena was on her left. He was staring at the girl on her right.

Blair clamped down on her reaction and watched. Watched as Kei felt Nate's gaze and tensed uncomfortably. Watched at Jenny realised that the boy at her side wasn't paying her any attention, and was instead paying it exclusively to a girl he'd never seen before. Blair's new lackey, the sophomore assumed.

Serena noticed when she realised that neither Blair nor Kei were listening to her anecdote about that time Dan had dinner with her newly extended family, minus one other teenage boy. Thoughts of Dan always did make her go all dreamy.

Awe.

Nate clearly had no idea that the only girl who wasn't staring at him was the object of his attention. Hell, even the rest of the hallway had noticed the deer-in-front-of-the-headlights look to him. Someone even snapped a photo…

That'll make Gossip Girl's day. And ruin someone else's further.

XOXO

**It is a long tradition of teenagehood that crushes developed on the first day of term will spell the most trouble. Goody. Can't wait for the consequences of this one…**

**SPOTTED: N turning into a gawping fish at the sight of New Girl. Attractive look, N, sure she'll fall for it. After all, who amongst us girls **_**doesn't**_** sport at least a teeny crush on our favourite goldfish? And if you were wondering how ex-queen B and rising princess J took it, well, see for yourselves.**

**You know you love me,**

**XOXO Gossip Girl.**

Hazel actually screamed in fury after reading Gossip Girl's latest, complete with three different photos. The two freshmen drying their hands in the bathroom fled in terror, desperate to avoid the girl's tantrum. Oh boy, this wasn't going to be pretty.

Isabel and Kati exchanged looks after rereading the post. This was not good. Old regrets were brewing back to the surface, and now more than ever did they wonder if it was such a good move to back Hazel and Jenny. Not that they had actually seen Jenny much today, except a faux-delighted hug at the entrance first thing in the morning. The attention seemed focused in Blair Waldorf's camp, and in a much better light than the one that they currently occupied. No wonder, they both agreed, if Hazel was now pacing around the girls' bathroom, actually growling in frustration.

Hazel had fled there after the humiliating defeat from Kei's scalding words. She'd spent about five minutes bitching about it to Penny, Is and Kati, occasionally yelling at innocent bystanders whenever they so much as looked at her. She'd finally calmed down enough to make her skin tone return to normal so she could fix her make-up.

She had no idea how Kei had spotted it. It was a very small smudge on her lip, barely noticeable, yet the bitch had pounced on it like a cat on a ball of string. How she'd figured it out… Hazel thought she'd been so careful… she hadn't known that the tutor was gay, even after he'd pushed her off him in surprise. At least she knew she was relatively safe though… there was no way the tutor could tell the head, unless he wanted to lose his job. And if she got into trouble for it, well, her father would happily help. Daddy was always helpful that way.

But someone had heard the confrontation and alerted Gossip Girl, and Hazel needed to find someway of crawling back. Her position had been fragile enough as it was, with Gossip Girl not taking her seriously. Now, thanks to Gossip Girl's attitude, Hazel was even more of joke. All because of the new girl's (accurate) implications, she had been labelled as even more of a slut than Blair, the two-timer… oh god.

The full implications fell on her shoulders and she groaned with rage again. She'd tried and failed to seduce a teacher because of low grades and wasn't even competent enough to hide it properly. Crap. At least Blair had managed to hide her affair until someone had ratted her out to Gossip Girl. No doubt if that hadn't happened, no one would have ever found out.

Much like if Kei had never said anything, Hazel would still be at the top.

Keep telling yourself that, darling.

Hazel finally stopped in front of the mirror and glared at her reflection before smirking. She liked what she saw. Even in her school uniform, she was wearing the best that money could buy on a body toned and stretched to conform to all that was desirable in high society. She was the daughter and heir to fortunes that were respectable and influential. The world was her oyster, and she was hungry. Kei Katayama-Argen wasn't going to steal away her appetite.

"What do we know about her?" She asked sharply. Isabel, Kati and Penny snapped to alert.

"Who?" Penny asked. Stupid idiot.

Hazel snapped her head round to glare at Penny's snail pace. "The new girl. Who is she?"

Isabel and Kati exchanged a look that Hazel caught. She liked it. They were interested in her again, the intrigue was back. They could smell it: war.

"Well… her name's Kei Katayama-Argen…" Isabel began, managing to pronounce the name properly.

"Transferred in from England…" Kati continued.

"In all the APs, I've heard." Penny contributed.

"She's not on scholarship, we'd have heard if she was."

"So she's from money." Hazel concluded. Hmmm. "Connections?"

"None, that we've heard of," Kati answered, speaking for both herself and Isabel, who nodded to confirm. "Queller just put Blair in charge of showing her around."

The bathroom went quiet. Hazel fixed each of its occupants with an icy glare. "Is that it?"

Penny fidgeted and Isabel and Kati looked at their Jimmy Choos before giving uniform, tiny nods. Hazel looked at them with disgust. How could so little be known by now about Constance Billiard's rising star? Damn it. Research would have to be done, starting as soon as possible. Then, and only then, could something be done about these latest... setbacks. Then she could implement her own developments…

Hazel turned to the mirror again. She'd run out of perfections to perform: her ruby lips were sorted, her eyeliner and mascara cleared up and re-applied, and she now had a class to go to. She needed to be able to hold her head high and flat out deny Gossip Girl's report. It didn't even matter if people believed her or not, they just had to pretend that they did. That's all that mattered: as long as they respected her enough to look up to her, rather than down on her. For that, she needed to look her best, at her most superior.

All about appearances.

She stepped out of the bathroom, head held high, followed by her loyal companions, and strutted down the hallway to class for all she was worth, as though she truly belonged there, above everyone else, centre of the scene, the focus of everyone's attention. Finally worthy of replacing Blair Waldorf's old throne.

To give the girl credit, it worked. The looks she got, which she pretended to not notice, varied at first from ridicule to revulsion and then switched automatically to reverent as if the first set had never occurred. For once, Hazel had pulled it off, and had saved her ass.

She just had to survive the rest of the day like that.

XOXO

He couldn't help it. Chuck had laughed out loud when he saw Gossip Girl's photo of Nathaniel's star-struck face. Even better were the extras: Jenny's barely hidden despair at being trumped, and - less amusing - the stone cold look on Blair's face. Chuck had no idea who the look was directed at, though it could have been at any number of people involved in that scene. If only he'd seen that one.

If the thing was true, that Nate had fallen head over heels at first sight for Blair's latest friend… well, he had to feel sorry for her. For both Blair and the friend. Congratulations Nathaniel. Day one of senior year and by the end of lunch he'd stirred up a hornet's nest. And even if he hadn't been high he still probably wouldn't have realised. It was Serena all over again. And, knowing how deep that knife was twisted in Blair's gut, that's why he couldn't help but feel sorry for Blair. As for the new girl, Kei… her comeback to Hazel and the sight of her laughing so freely with Blair in the window sill marked her as made of wholly different substance to that which is usually seen in the Upper East Side. It would be a shame to find out that his first impression was wrong. Mostly 'cos that would mean that _he_ had been wrong.

That's not officially supposed to happen.

Although speaking of things happening unofficially, Hazel's resurrection certainly happened. People kept whispering about how she'd walked to class, proud as anything, and then flat-out denied the rumours about her pass at the history tutor. People were actually whispering in the corridors if Gossip Girl had gotten it wrong. After all, there are so many ways that a girl can smudge their lipstick. Besides, it wasn't _that_ obvious in the photo. Who wouldn't walk away from a fight after being effectively called a whore?

To Chuck's amusement, and odd relief, that didn't change anyone's impression of Kei. Perhaps it was the mere fact that the new girl had stood up to Hazel, of all the bitches in Constance Billiard, and won. After all, Hazel had _still_ walked away without the last word, even if she had made her comeback in the halls. The score was still 1-0 to Kei, and everyone knew it. Hazel had merely recovered for what was undoubtedly going to be Round 2.

And we can't wait…

The rest of the day passed without any major incident. Everyone was waiting for something to happen, for Hazel to even the scores - Chuck even heard some freshmen guy had started taking bets on who would emerge the victor of the first week - but nothing did. Whispering spread down the hallways like wild fire every time the pair got within sight of each other. By the sounds of it, Blair and Kei must have been the only ones in their classes doing any studying. It was hilarious. Chuck smirked at the thought of all these brewing rivalries. No doubt Hazel would put on that gross bitter and twisted smile every time she saw Kei in the hallway, and as for the new girl… there Chuck's smirk faltered. He had no idea what was going through that girl's mind.

Very disconcerting. Until he realised just how much fun he was going to have watching this delicious drama unfold over the coming days.

His optimism took a hit when school ended for the day.

He'd been headed towards his limo, just off the phone to Serena asking politely if she wanted a ride home, enjoying the surprise in his step-sister's voice. Always so judgemental that girl, he thought, smirking to himself. Then he spotted Blair and Kei exiting the building and, moving before thinking, he moved out of sight into the crowd to avoid being noticed.

"So I'll see you tomorrow," he heard Blair say to Kei. He winced at the iciness in Blair's voice. Guess he now knew who that cold look in the photo had been for.

"Blair, wait!" Kei grabbed Blair's arm. Blair stopped and turned to face her, blank and disconnected. He'd seen worse expressions on Waldorf's face, namely directed at himself, but still: harsh.

Kei stared at Blair's face, studying it thoughtfully. Then she sighed sadly, looked at the floor for a moment and then looked up again to meet Blair's eyes.

"I'm sorry about that crap with Nate." Kei said. Clearly and bluntly. Completely lacking in shame or insecurity. A very odd form of apology, so confident in itself. "I know that you're angry that Nate was looking at me like that earlier. But if you think that for one minute I would be interested in your ex-boyfriend who cheated on you, and never showed you the respect that you deserved then… well, you're an idiot."

Blair's eyes widened in shock. As did Chuck's. Did she just say…?

"Blair, we have arseholes in England too. I've seen my fair share of them. My _own_ ex was one too. I don't want any more in my life."

Chuck saw the ice in Blair's eyes start to melt, that look of reconsideration starting to form.

"Look, you know what I think about the whole ex rule. That it's ill-conceived. That doesn't mean I ignore it where I think it actually matters." Kei let that statement hang in the air between the two girls for a moment, and then suddenly smirked. "Besides, he's not my type."

At that Blair raised a disbelieving eyebrow. And faltered when she saw that Kei was serious. She tilted her head, an intelligent smile spreading over her face. "You do realise that you just almost called me an idiot, right?" She said, her voice laced with amusement.

Kei grinned. "Almost?"

Blair nodded, smiling genuinely. "Almost."

Chuck watched the moment pass between them, the friendly silence declaring the peace. He smiled. Seeing Blair Waldorf stress-free was always an uplifting sight.

"Ah, there's my dad, he's giving me a lift home. See you tomorrow?" Kei asked.

Blair suddenly smirked. "On one condition." Kei blinked, waited. "You know that sushi you had for lunch?" Kei nodded. "Get me some for tomorrow?"

Kei chuckled. "Will do. See you tomorrow, Waldorf." She bowed her head, smiling as she left, getting into a Toyota Prius that had just pulled up. Chuck watched as Blair's smile flickered, and wondered why for a moment. Then it clicked: only one person ever called her Waldorf. He stepped out from the crowd, headed towards his limo, and almost froze when Blair turned and saw him. It took every ounce of concentration to keep walking as he watched her smile vanish entirely, to notice the crowds of people around him gathering to go home, watching, to remember the last thing he'd said to her.

_Actually you don't even have me… I'll try to be more succinct. You held a certain fascination… when you were beautiful, delicate… and _untouched_. But now you're like… one of the Arabians my father used to own… rode hard and put away wet... I don't want you anymore, and I can't see why anyone else would._

Actually, remembering that was the easiest thing he was doing in that moment. No matter how much scotch he had after saying that, no matter how bad the hangover had been the next day, no matter how much he threw up said scotch in a twisted effort to spew up those horrible words too, the memory had lingered, stubbornly refusing to let him forget what was easily the most disgusting thing he'd ever done in his life. And that memory would have forced him to change direction, forced him to apologise again and again, and forced him to find a way to put a smile back on her face.

Except he didn't. Because he was waiting for her to do exactly the same thing. So he kept walking towards his awaiting limo.

Unfortunately for him, that memory did force his head to turn in time to see her screw her eyes shut, clench her fists and tense up tight with anguish, stuck in the same spot, the crowds no longer interested now that he wasn't there to create a scene. Beautiful, delicate… and broken.

_166: It is true that we lie with our mouth; but with the grimace we make when we do so , we still end up telling the truth._

* * *

Hey everyone, sorry it's been a while. As always I don't possess rights over Gossip Girl's characters, nor over Nietzsche's 'Beyond Good And Evil'. Kei's still mine though, all mine.

Many thanks to my new Beta-reader, Cassandra's Paradox, for all your suggestions and spotting my typos lol. Quite a few of them I took on board, in some form or other. I greatly appreciate your help.

Hope you all like this chapter. Having seen the new episodes I'm aware of how out of character Nate is, all I can say is that I decided to put him down a different path than the show has, and my version is the result of that. Everyone's been tweaked a little one way or another or a few lol, banking on it being enjoyable to read in its own right. Please review once you're done, really want to know what people think.

Take care everyone xx

* * *

P.S.: Just seen Episode 16. Wtf? There had better be a good explanation for _that _ending...


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_87: _Bound heart, free spirit_. - If you severely bind and enchain your heart, you can give your spirit many liberties: that is what I said, once upon a time. But people don't believe me, unless they've already found it out for themselves…_

"Kei-chan, how was your day?"

Paul Argen was the clear source of all her elegant features: her body frame, the shape of her face, the greenness in her hazel eyes. Her softness hadn't come from him, nor the colour of her hair, skin tone or height, those came from her mother. Paul Argen was a tall, lean man, with once blond now white hair, grey-blue eyes, and easily the best grin and laugh an Englishman ever possessed. She didn't see or hear either often these days though, except when he looked at his daughter.

"It was good." Kei answered. She nodded. "It was really good."

"Made any new friends?"

Kei chuckled. It was like she was four again, going to infants' school. "Yeah, one, I guess. My guide's a nice girl."

Her dad stopped the car at the lights and turned to his daughter. "Think you'll be happy there?"

Kei considered it carefully. The faces of the people she'd met flashed through her head, and the things they'd said, things that she had said… Hazel, Gossip Girl, Serena, Nate, Blair… _I'm not a slut, and I won't have some unoriginal brat accusing me of being one before she's even said 'hello' to me… I might be a bitch, Blair, but I'm a nice bitch too… Do you honestly think I give a shit?… If you think that for one minute I would be interested in your ex-boyfriend who cheated on you, and never showed you the respect that you deserved then…well, you're an idiot… We have arseholes in England too… I don't want more in my life…_

_You do realise that you just almost called me an idiot, right?_

_Almost?_

_Almost._

Kei grinned. It had been an interesting day. Befriending one girl, making an enemy out of another, getting the attention of the former's ex, and finding out that the place has an online gossip columnist that everyone seemed to subscribe to.

Very bizarre place. And that was just day one.

"Yeah, I'll be alright there, I think." She suddenly smirked, and turned to her father. "Besides, with the tuition the place charges, it's not like I can complain."

Her father looked seriously at her. "Kei, of course you can, if the place is about as pleasant as a rat's arse. Kei, if you don't like it -"

"No, I do." She said. "Really, it's a good school, the teachers' know their stuff, it's a nice place and I've made friends already. I want to stay."

Her father searched her face for a moment and then smiled. "Ok." He nodded and started moving the car through traffic. "Ok."

Kei smiled. "Ok." She repeated. Well, she knew she wouldn't get bored this year, that's for certain.

_Finally_. Things have definitely been too… _dull_.

"What about you, dad?" Kei asked. "The Big Apple fit your taste?"

Paul Argen kept his eyes on the road, but he tilted his head, thinking. "Yeah, New York suits me fine." He met her gaze, and knew exactly what she wanted to know. She was his daughter after all: the two always knew when the other was lying, there was no escaping it. "Really, I like it here. The flat's great now that there are no boxes and the decorating is finished. I can run round Central Park. The restaurant is doing well, and… I like it here. I do." He gave her a brief honest smile, all he could afford as the traffic began to move.

"Me too."

Argen quickly glanced at his daughter's face. She was rummaging through her bag, but she was smiling contentedly. A rare sight, much like his own smiles.

"Alright to put some music on?"

Finally, Paul Argen grinned. That was more like it.

"As long as it's not some crap pretending to be music. And nothing about skeletons marching in please."

She smirked back. Fair enough.

_It's the music that we choose, it's the music that we choose, it's the music that we choose, it's the music that we choose…_

_The world is spinning too fast, I'm buying lead Nike shoes_

_To keep myself tethered to the days I tried to lose_

_My mama said to slow down, you must make your own shoes_

_Stop dancing to the music of Gorillaz in a happy mood,_

_Keep a mild groove on…_

* * *

"Blair?"

When all the world is muffled, a humming beneath the beat of blood rushing through one's brain, details of things add up slowly. As Blair slowly unclenched her fingers, she recognised a name being called out. Hers. By Serena. Serena? Blair opened her eyes. A blonde appeared before her. Serena. Oh thank God, Serena…

"Blair?" Her best friend asked, her smile vanishing. "B, are you ok?"

Blair pulled herself together, dragged herself back to the present. Everything was fine. She was at school, about to walk home, her best friend was there, _he_ was gone, and so too were her memories, back in their places… some really good memories, far outnumbering the bad…

Shit, she'd missed him.

Blair forced herself to focus on Serena and smiled as convincingly as possible. Serena didn't understand at the time, when everything crashed. She still didn't, and wouldn't now either. Bless her, Serena had tried, she accepted that maybe Chuck had been different back then, but that was it. She thought he'd been different. Blair believed otherwise, which was half the problem.

Odd, then, that in a matter of hours, Kei had figured it all out without Blair really explaining everything.

"I'm fine." Blair said quietly. She cleared her throat. "Just tired, it's been a long day."

Serena smiled back. "What are you doing now?"

"I don't know. You hanging out with Humphrey?"

"Yeah, Dan's invited me over for dinner, Jenny's never home these days so it's always him and Rufus, sounds like they need an extra plate setting at the table."

Blair repressed a smirk. She remembered, around this time last year, warning Little J that there was a price to pay. What she had not said was that the price was tailored to fit; how much they had to lose, how much they had to gain. Evidently for Jenny Humphrey, family was one thing to lose. For Blair long ago, it had been many other things...

"Unless you want to do something, I can do dinner with the Humphreys another time -" Serena started, both guilty and conflicted for not making time for her best friend, even though time with Dan was always too good to miss.

"No, it's ok. I'm going to go home, run a bath, take a nap, get today's homework done or something. Who knows, maybe Mom will be around." Blair rolled her eyes. Eleanor Waldorf was rarely seen home before she left for France, why would that have changed when she wasn't there at all? Her mother had tried to keep an eye on her daughter more after Blair had asked to leave for France but… well, work had a tendency to come first. Eleanor Waldorf was not exactly defined by her maternal instincts.

What was sadder: that, or the fact that Blair was long used to it by now?

"Ok, give me a call though, if you wanna meet up, hang out or whatever." Serena garbled, giving her friend a hug just as Humphrey came out and approached.

"Will do, S. See you tomorrow at the gates." Blair murmured into Serena's ear. She felt Serena nod into her shoulder, and saw the girl's face light up at the sight of her beloved boyfriend at her side, who happily smiled back, just for her. Blair used to do that, smile like that when she saw Nate. Always to responses that were, she knew now, _lacking_.

She watched Serena and Dan disappear to get a cab to Brooklyn, and, with one last look around her at the crowds of friends and cliques, Blair headed off home.

The moment she got in, after greeting Dorota, she went to her bedroom and closed the door. She allowed herself a minute to stand there, her bag dropped to the floor, to recollect herself, her mind blissfully blank. Like the calm _after_ the storm. So unlike the room she stood in; her bedroom did not reflect the wreck Blair was inside. Immaculately tidy, sophisticated, every little thing in its proper place. Calm, cool, and collected: three words that Blair very much wished she was.

_Pull yourself together, girl_. With that thought, Blair held her head higher and started getting out her books and things to do her homework, deciding that a bath could wait. Her first day back was over, and it had gone ok: Hazel had been knocked down a peg; she'd made a new ally; and… so what that Nathaniel Archibald had gone gaga for Kei? So what if she still couldn't look at Chuck Bass without… without… never mind.

Out of nowhere, as Blair's hand faltered over a text book, nearly dropping it, Kei's smile flashed through her mind, that smile she'd worn as she bowed her head, the bow both respectful and teasing, as she made her exit. Blair chuckled to herself, her mind wandering. How would things have been if she'd met Kei in her glory days? Would Kei have confronted her like she'd confronted Hazel? Would Kei have shown her the same amount of respect as she had today? Would _she_ have shown Kei the respect she deserved?

Blair dropped her things on her bed and paused, her thoughts creating a gentle smile on her face, her eyes the only indicator of them. Would she have seen Kei as a threat? Would she have done what Hazel did?

No. What Hazel did was rash and idiotic. Whilst Blair might have been many things, she was no idiot.

Most of the time...

Besides, Blair Waldorf had thrived in her days because she knew how to tell the difference between the Jenny Humphreys, the Isabel and Katis, the Hazels and the Serenas that occupied the world that was the New York Upper East Side private school systems. Isabel and Kati were sheep, Hazel was an ambitious, back-stabbing bitch who lacked the skills to reach her goals, and the only difference between her and Jenny was the lower level of maliciousness and the larger level of naivety in Jenny. As for Serena, she was like a little bird that flew over the scene, oblivious to the ground below, soaring through the clouds like only the most carefree of creatures could. Kei didn't match with any of them; indeed, for some reason, she reminded Blair of...

Great, Blair thought, rolling her eyes, irritated and then sad. Back to Bass again. Just great.

Never before had AP English seemed so interesting.

* * *

'Home'. Odd phrase.

Even with his own set of keys and the security code, letting himself into the van der Bass household seemed a bit… weird. The fact that no one was home made it nothing less than uncomfortable. Chuck felt like an intruder, come to steal the plasma TV and Lily's jewellery. Or sniff Lily and Serena's underwear.

Yes, the last part of that felt far more ordinary than calling the fifth avenue penthouse home. So much for yesterday's oh-so-delightful welcome.

He'd been to Serena's home many times before, as a little kid with Blair and Nate, and to the many parties she'd thrown in her mother's absence with Georgina (bitch). But as an actual resident, he'd spent only a few nights there, a couple or so before the summer vacation and last night. That was it. His old suite at the Palace felt more like home, and he hadn't been there in months. Hell, the villa he had stayed in on the outskirts of Monte Carlo was more 'home' than the home of Bart Bass and Lily van der Woodsen; his father and future step-mother.

It would have been better if they'd been there to greet him, if only to act like he had a right to be there, as oddly childish as that sounded. But Bart was in meetings for some new development or some such, and Lily was organising some charity event. As for his near-siblings, Serena was probably in Brooklyn doing Brooklyn, and Eric was out with friends. Or 'friend' as Chuck had teased him that morning.

He didn't mind the younger van der Woodsen actually. Eric was a good kid. He'd even called Chuck a couple of time over the summer to ask how he was. The boy might have been small, but he wasn't naïve, he wasn't spoilt rotten like the rest of them, and, intriguingly, he was both honest and secretive. Chuck had figured out Eric was gay ages ago, and that he hadn't gone to Miami last year. When he'd cryptically told Eric that, the boy hadn't been too fazed by it. That he was gay he admitted to, unafraid and indifferent, until he realised that Chuck wasn't judging. He'd never felt so brotherly until he saw Eric smile gratefully for not judging him. Of Miami however, Eric said nothing.

Eric van der Woodsen was perhaps the only fifteen year old kid whose privacy Chuck Bass would respect. Even though he'd realised that Blair must have known Eric's secret too: whatever it was, it was big enough for Serena to openly 'admit' to being an addict in front of Ivy League representatives, and big enough for Blair to not only forgive Serena, but to tell Chuck to back off last year. It was the look that Blair had had after he saw her talking to Eric at the same event. Not even his curiosity was enough to butt into Eric's business.

Seems that when it came to family, Chuck Bass was quite prepared to take it seriously.

Or perhaps, more accurately, Chuck took his _father_ very seriously. Anyone who has had the pleasure of meeting Bartholomew Bass would know what a cold fish the man is, but even so, when Chuck had realised that Bart was serious about Lily van der Woodsen - really serious, despite the awkwardness of Lily's own children, despite Lily's hesitation to set a date, despite everything that made it look like the oddest match made in New York's high society - Chuck had taken it seriously too.

After all, the real indication that it was a serious affair was when he looked around Lily's penthouse a few weeks before he moved out of the Palace, just after the renovating was finished. The interior decorator had done a good job. He could see his father's influences dotted around the place: his father's study had clearly been done with him in mind: plain, antique furniture, leather chairs. Chuck's own bedroom, fantastically, was painted the exact shades of white, red and blue of his trademark scarf, and boasted a particularly finely stocked cabinet of scotch. Lily had included her future step-son in her plans for her house: that's how serous this family was.

So, he respected his father's wishes: he'd moved his stuff in, and then left for Monaco to, as his father put it, 'grow up'.

Being excluded had certainly been a sobering experience, which is why it was strange to hold the keys to the van der Bass household, to stand in the lobby area as though he really belonged there. Only his father could force Chuck Bass to take something seriously and then make him so uncomfortable he couldn't stake his right to be the arrogant arsehole he was.

It was moments like this that made him regret quitting pot. And grateful he hadn't given up scotch. Of which he had plenty in his room. Then maybe later he could go check how business was doing at Victrola.

Now, officially, the earliest Chuck Bass has gotten completely wasted is nine o'clock in the evening, and it took him maybe three hours to accomplish it. It was to celebrate his sixteenth birthday, and it's also the worst state of intoxication Chuck Bass had ever gotten into. He was slurring so badly even he couldn't understand what he was saying; he could barely put one foot in front of the other, in fact he had little command over his legs at all; he had the memory of a fish; and, for all he can remember, he was almost incapable of conscious thought. Just from insane quantities of scotch.

Quite the occasion. The second worst was his seventeenth, and it's a close second, apparently.

The state that Eric van der Woodsen would find him in at half ten that night would rank at third.

* * *

It took a bit of explaining to do to the bouncers at Victrola before they let Eric in. His problem was that he looked his age, so the fact that he was a van der Woodsen only got him so far. Thankfully, the bouncer was aware of the van der Woodsen-Bass match, and so let Eric in, albeit with reluctance. Once inside he easily found his future step-brother, slumped in his usual spot in the centre of everything, eyes closed, his hand clutching his glass of scotch close to his face, despite the current pause in drinking. He was still in his school uniform, his jacket and tie in a heap next to him. Eric didn't say a word as Chuck opened his eyes, blinked tiredly and stared at him, dazed confusion slowly passing through his numb brain.

"Eric?"

"Hi Chuck." Eric said serenely, as though all was normal. "You alright?"

Chuck closed his eyes again and took a gulp from his drink. "I'm Chuck Bass," he slurred, "I'm great." He downed the rest of the scotch and his head started to sink forward, the extra alcohol clearly climbing further up rather than going down into his stomach. "I'm great…"

Eric reached forward and gently pried the glass from Chuck's fingers, placed it on the table and put a hand on Chuck's shoulder. "Come on, let's get you home."

Chuck started to object, but as he turned to face Eric the scotch in his system suddenly rebelled, making his head swim again and he swayed uncomfortably before nodding, frowning as the nodding started a headache. Eric stuffed Chuck's discarded tie into his pocket, grabbed Chuck's jacket and gently helped Chuck to his feet and led him out of the club and into the waiting limo outside.

"Mom tried to call you a few times." Eric explained. "She wanted to know if you were joining us for dinner, but you had your phone switched off. When Serena got back she said you were probably at some bar. Your dad didn't look so pleased." Chuck's eyes opened reluctantly at the mention of his father. Eric offered him a bottle of mineral water, and Chuck took it silently and started gulping it down. He needed to sober up and fast. "Rough day?"

Chuck took a breath from drinking the water, looked at the floor of the limo and shrugged slightly before drinking again.

Eric was no fool. Unlike the boy in question, Eric knew exactly what was wrong with Chuck. Eric might have had his own problems, but he definitely didn't envy his step-brother. After his suicide attempt, after his time at the Ostroff Centre, Eric was getting better. He was glad to be home; he'd gotten used to Bart, sort of; he'd accepted Chuck as a part of his new extended family; and he was content and comfortable in his skin. Chuck, on the other hand, was no different to how he was before the summer, nothing better though nothing worse.

No, Eric van der Woodsen didn't envy Chuck Bass in the slightest. Few would.

"Father's going to kill me…"

Eric turned just in time to see Chuck's eyes flutter closed and slump in his seat, empty water bottle in his limp hand, as he fell asleep. Eric stared sympathetically at him.

This was not how he had envisioned his first day as a sophomore ending, sneaking out of the house to in order to find Chuck Bass, the ever collected, self-assured, always confident party boy who had passed out from drinking more than he knew he could cope with.

Eric knew that Chuck knew what state he was getting himself into. Ever since he was fifteen, maybe fourteen, Chuck Bass had been an expert on the boundaries and limits of alcohol. He knew how much would get him tipsy, how much to get him drunk, how much to get himself out of control, and how much to ensure he had no recollection of what he'd been doing. This evening however wasn't on that chart. This drunk was the type where he would just feel permanently miserable, and eventually pass out or indeed get alcohol poisoning before passing out. The kind of drunk where consciously nothing happened, but your brain feels like boiling lead and your stomach churns from the poison.

In other words, depressed drunk.

Once home, Eric helped Chuck out of the limo, practically having to carry him inside, Chuck was so tired he could barely stand up. Not the best state to be caught in by your authoritarian father…

"Charles, Eric."

Eric froze on the stairs with Chuck's arm over his shoulders as he helped the guy up to his room to sleep off the hangover. At his father's voice Chuck froze too, his face paling. He looked like he was going to vomit at any moment, something Eric had been hoping to avoid. But then he took a deep breath and finally stood by himself, taking his weight off Eric. He swayed uncertainly for a moment, but raised a hand to stop Eric from helping him. He was fine. Or at least he could pretend to be.

No, maybe not even that one…

"I'm alright, thanks Eric." Chuck looked up at his father, and again fought the reflex to throw up. "Father."

Bart Bass looked down at his only son, his face closed and cold as always before turning to address his future step-son. "Thank you, Eric, for bringing Charles home. Your mother said to get an early night's sleep, you have school tomorrow." The last part was really meant for both of the boys, if the steeliness in Bart's voice was anything to go by. Eric reluctantly nodded and left, hoping Bart would go easy on Chuck.

Emphasis on _hoping_.

Bart waited for Eric to disappear down the hallway to his room, waited for the click of a closing door, before looking over his son again.

And, for the first time in his life, he stopped, and frowned in confusion. Then he left without a word.

In the morning, it would be the only thing Chuck would remember, other than dashing to his en-suite bathroom to hurl up all the scotch he'd drunk that night, bitterly remembering days when he never did feel sick after a night's hard partying, remembering days when he didn't feel the need to crash through his own limits. That's all he could recollect as he woke with the dawn shining on his face, his sticky body still in last night's clothes on top of the bed covers, head throbbing in complaint.

_Just stop, Bass. Just stop._

* * *

**SPOTTED: C stumbling in his fabulous drunken fashion out of the van der Bass home and into Victrola around 6pm, early even for C, and later seen tumbling back out with the help of little E. Awe, giving E some lessons in partying, C? Leave it to the masters after all, finally emerging from your cave? Knew you couldn't keep that bad boy inside hidden forever.**

**You know you love me,**

**XOXO Gossip Girl**

Blair had been soaking contentedly in the bath, candles lit, the sweet, calming scent of lavender wafting through the room. It was about eleven, and after another five minutes or so she was going to get out and go to bed, her eye lids were already drooping.

_No wonder_, she hadn't really slept at all the night before, or the night before that, or the night before that either. She could blame nerves, or jet-lag, or whatever she liked, it didn't make much difference. Now, she was so relaxed she didn't give a damn at all. The world had shrunk to the size of her bathroom, possibly including her bedroom too, everything outside didn't exist, and that was fine.

She'd just gotten out and wrapped a warm, fluffy towel around her when her phone buzzed with Gossip Girl's last update for the night and reminded Blair that, sadly, the world was much bigger than her current serenity.

She read the blog over, and frowned. After a moment, she went to her bedside table and removed a box from one of the drawers. She dug through its contents, warm hands delicately handling the treasure within the box until she found what she was looking for. Checking it, she then checked her phone again.

_Nearly that time again, Bass…_

She put the item back in the box and returned the whole thing to its original hiding place. She groaned as she realised that Gossip Girl's update had just undone the soothing effects of the bath, and she rummaged around in her closet. She finally found one of her dad's old cotton t-shirts, pulled it on, and tried to get to sleep.

Instinctively, she finally got to sleep by carefully searching in the dark for the most valuable item she possessed, which always sat on her bedside table. Her fingers stroked its cool surface, her dreams pulling her in by remembering the first time she'd held it, and how her fingers had then trailed over other, smoother, softer, warmer surfaces…

Yes, Blair got to sleep easily that night. No one said she slept well though.

_125: When we are forced to re-evaluate a person, we judge him harshly for the trouble he causes us in doing so._

* * *

Second year exams aren't going very well, but the worst ones are done with, so hopefully the next ones will be more promising. Also, will have more time to write, so hopefully won't be taking so long any more to update. Can't make any promises though, I'm sorry folks.

Having seen the last of season 1 of Gossip Girl, like many others out there, I'm pissed off. Really damn pissed off. It's easily the most disappointing finale of an entertaining TV show that I've seen in a really long time. It was rushed, messy and anti-climactic, and a piss-poor attempt to have something to begin with for season 2. How deeply un-original. However, the new episodes have given me a couple of ideas, so I might mirror certain events as the story progresses, going to see how the plot develops. Not so sure if I can pull off a Georgina though, but it's tempting...

To those who reviewed Chapter 3, if I didn't reply to your comment I sincerely apologise, I try to make a habit of doing so. Thanks to those that did, to all the people who have contributed to the 240 hits for Chapter 3 alone, and to those who've favourite-ed or subscribed to alerts for this story, I really appreciate it.

To repeat, I don't own Gossip Girl, or Beyond Good and Evil by Friedrich Nietzsche, or indeed 19-2000 (Soulchild remix) by Gorillaz.

Odd choice of song perhaps, but I love Gorillaz, particularly that song. Kei's father isn't going to be a particularly prominent character, he's more to tell you a little about Kei herself. I've been told that she seems a bit flawless: her part of this chapter should hint a little at what will come later, namely that she's not. I wonder if you'll figure out what's going on there...

Also hoping that Chuck didn't seem too out of character. Wanted to explore what he's turned into, and how actually having a family would affect him. Hoping it didn't seem so far-fetched that Chuck would drown his sorrows so thoroughly in scotch, was thinking that time in Victor/Victrola when his father shot down his proposals was a little tame. Regardless however, I hope the picture of him is clear: the term FUBAR should come to mind here.

Also wondering what you all think of Eric, considering that the kid appeared so few times. I was glad that they didn't make a big deal out of Eric being gay, I thought that was (surprisingly, I must admit) tastefully done, no stereotypes. I like the kid, he always seems so down to earth, despite the fact that at one time he must have been miserable enough to want to kill himself.

As for Blair, thanks to Gleechild for pointing out some things to me a little while back, and for beta-ing this chapter for me. Your comments before really got me thinking so I decided to add them to Blair's thoughts too.

Anyway, enough rambling from me. Hope you're all well, take care people, and please review! xx


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_111: Our vanity is most resistant to wounds when our pride has just be wounded._

_The fights, those nights…_

WHACK.

_I tried to pretend it don't hurt…_

WHACK.

_The way, I prayed_

_Someday that you would love me…_

WHACK

_Really - _WHACK - _completely - _WHACK - _Just how I wanted it to be_

_But no, so wrong_

_I can't believe I stayed with you so long…_

WHACK.

Kei Katayama-Argen always woke up in the same way every school morning. When the alarm on her cell phone went off, singing whatever song she felt like waking up to, the heap of duvet covers, pillows and one polar bear hot water bottle cover, would give a groan and a hand would emerge from the messy pile of cotton, search around much like a dog's nose sniffing out treats in someone's pocket, finally discover the source of the interruption, press the snooze button, and then disappear back into the cave.

For five minutes, there would be no movement. Then, when the alarm went off again, a head would burrow itself out of the cave to glare at the phone before switching the alarm off. After a minute of staring discontentedly at the time, Kei would finally uncurl herself and bumble out of her bedroom. She'd pick up a tiny cup of espresso, add about three teaspoons of sugar, wave tiredly at her dad, stuff some toast in her mouth and make her way to the bathroom to shower. Thus far in the process, she would have yawned lazily at least once, and stretched like a cat without claws. After a good amount of shampoo, conditioner, and Body Shop papaya shower gel, Kei would finally be able to call herself awake, sleep's grime gone, blood caffeinated, teeth brushed and fresh breath. She'd dry her hair, let it settle in dark waves, conceal the blemish marks on her chin and the shadows in her eyes. She'd get dressed, gather her school things, pull her shoes on and go.

This process typically would take an hour, give or take. Depends on whatever she was watching before she went to sleep, and thus what time she got to sleep.

On her second day at Constance Billiards, that didn't quite happen, the main variation being that she hit the snooze button a few times too many, so everything else ended up being either skipped or rushed. No coffee or stretching for Kei that morning, the bumbling around like a sleepy teddy bear switched to a cheetah's dash, and the cover-up applied in the taxi. Once she'd checked her reflection, made sure she looked exactly how she wanted to look - hair just so, tie neatly knotted over her chest, shirt open at the right angle, skirt pulled down modestly over her thighs - she smiled and settled back to get a little extra shut eye, headphones in her ears, as the cabbie shouted out the window at the limo that had cut across their path.

_You hit, you spit, you split, ever-y bit of me, yeah_

_You stole, you broke, you're cold_

_You're such a joke to me, yeah_

See, there are a few things that one should know about Kei Katayama-Argen. The first is that she greatly likes two things: sleep, in her own time, and therefore duvets. Particularly duvets. She's not much of a dreamer, or at least she doesn't remember if she is, but she likes softness. That's the one thing she doesn't like about vacationing in hot places: no duvets. The English climate suited her perfectly: even in the summer it wasn't so hot that you just needed cotton sheets. Besides, Kei's the type to like rain. You'll never hear her complain about the weather. Even if she has neither umbrella or hooded coat.

Another thing you should definitely know about Kei is this: she doesn't give a damn what people think of her. Seriously. She only cares if she's good enough for herself, and her expectations of herself far surpass those around her.

_For every last bruise you gave me_

_For every time I sat in tears_

_For the million ways you hurt me_

_I just wanna tell you this_

_You broke my world, made me strong_

_Thank you_

_Messed up my dreams, made me strong_

_Thank you…_

* * *

"Charles?"

_Ugh… go away. No Charles here. Hell, no Chuck here either._

"Charles?"

Chuck opened one eye and regretted it immediately: sun too bright. Hair too blonde and shiny. He groaned and turned his leaden head into his pillow, already returning to his dreams of brunette curls… until Lily shook his shoulder to wake him up again.

"Come on, Chuck; time to get up for school, I'm afraid." She said gently, carefully concealing her amusement. The boy groaned pitifully into his pillow and raised his head up an inch. His eyes slowly adjusted, his headache worsening, the taste of nausea in his mouth, and he clutched his forehead in pain. God, today was not going to be a good day. "Come on, drink this," - _ah, coffee_ - "and shower, get dressed, join us for breakfast and you can get a ride with Eric to school."

He gave a thumbs up with one hand, not moving any other muscle, and then he let his hand go limp. Lily chuckled at her fiancé's son, set his coffee on the bedside table, smiled affectionately as she ruffled his messy hair a bit and left him be.

When she was gone, Chuck finally rolled out of bed, nearly gagged on the scalding coffee, and stumbled to his en-suite bathroom and groaned at the sight of himself in the mirror.

Hungover is not a good look, Bass.

His eyes were red: bloodshot from tiredness. His skin was paler than usual. His messy hair was approaching the line of ridiculousness that Chuck Bass wouldn't be caught dead crossing. He needed a shower, a shave, water to hydrate his aching body, and most of all one little thing spelled with three letters.

Oddly, not what you're thinking…

After finding a fresh uniform and putting some cream under his eyes to get rid of the shadows a little, he found the various ingredients to his anti-hangover concoction and chugged the strange glop down his throat. He swore under his breath as he went to join the rest of his newly formed family after the horrible green mixture made only a fraction of a difference, and tried not to hurl what tasted like cardboard back up and not lose his cool at Serena.

The blonde was living up to her hair colour, glaring at him with no subtlety from across the table, no doubt blaming him for his drunken antics, and therefore why her little brother was out late picking him up from strip joints on a school night. Never mind that, a) it was a burlesque club, not a strip club; b) Eric didn't _have_ to do anything on Chuck's behalf; and c) Eric wasn't so little either. The boy might seem a bit… delicate maybe, but he wasn't that fragile. The kid could hold his own. Indeed, Eric had noticed his sister's glares and smiled sympathetically across the table at Chuck. Way better than the waves of indifference emanating from Bart.

Still, once he got to school, headache still pounding but stomach settling, things didn't improve much. In the limo Eric told him to check Gossip Girl's latest, truly brightening up Chuck's morning. Great. Not only was he hungover, but he had to put up with everyone else's bullshit stares, whispered comments, the snickers, the giggles, batted eyelashes, all that general crap.

Truth was, he couldn't be bothered. He was already planning his weekend getaway to Monaco. Back to sun and strangers… he'd survive the jet-lag.

The worst was just stepping out of the limo. For a start, a taxi was pulling in just behind the limo, whose driver angrily yelled at them for getting in his way as his passenger stepped out. So _no one_ missed him arriving, thanks to the old jackass who his own driver was pointedly ignoring. Secondly, Hazel and her bunch of loyal poodles were standing at the entrance and he couldn't help but fix the conniving social climber a cold glare against her calculating gaze. He bid Eric a good day, rubbing his temples as his headache returned like a bullet through his head, and left, noticing only one last thing as he went. Blair ascending the steps. Jenny leaning over above with a cup of yoghurt, spoon stretched out, waiting… and missed as Kei grabbed Blair's arm and yanked her back. The glob of yogurt hit the step harmlessly, and he registered the unfathomable look on Blair's face as her indignant retort to Kei died on her lips when she met his eyes.

After that, it was easy to ignore everyone else, including Nate. Now, if he could keep it up, he could just about be able to survive his second day of Senior year. Just about.

Good luck with that…

* * *

**Good morning, Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here. Hope you were all up bright and early, otherwise you would have missed all the fun on the steps!**

**SPOTTED: New Girl saving Ex-Queen B's to-die-for locks from airborne attacks. Sorry J, better luck next time. Use something better than low-fat yogurt though, try full-fat.  
**

**C arriving with new party-apprentice E, looking pretty good for someone who should be under a cloud this morning. What's your secret cure, C?**

**You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl**

"Blair, are you alright?" Kei asked.

Blair wrenched her eyes from Chuck's departing back to meet Kei's. The girl was still holding Blair's weight up after yanking her down a step to miss the yogurt, making sure she didn't trip over her Christian Louboutins. She steadied herself, smiling shakily before directing a glare up. Jenny - the bitch - was already gone, no doubt due to the humiliation of missing her target: making Blair a laughing stock. Failure, after all, was a big no-no at Constance Billiard, as few things could make one look like an inadequate idiot faster among those who always got what they wanted.

"Thank you," Blair said awkwardly. Gratitude wasn't exactly something Blair practised a great deal: she preferred it when people were grateful to her, that way she didn't owe anyone anything, and people always owed her.

Kei smirked. "You're welcome." She smiled good-naturedly. "As promised," she delved into the silvery black paper bag in her hand and produced… "lunch." She handed the black bento box to Blair, whose face lit up. "There we go, much better." Blair frowned, confused. "I don't want your gratitude, Waldorf. Just your appreciation, so no 'thank yous' please. That look will do me just fine."

Kei smiled. Odd girl. "Tetsuo will deliver miso soup at lunch as well, nice and hot."

The two girls ascended the steps, and Blair took in Kei's appearance. Her hair today fell in waves, flickering in the breeze over her shoulders. Her shirt was unbuttoned enough to spy a hint of her cleavage, and her navy tie loosened enough to hang over the buttons, a little like Serena did when she'd just rolled out of bed to get to school, except Kei's was actually tucked under her collar, not completely thrown on in a mad rush. Her skirt was a little longer but tighter, hugging her thighs and her ass without being obscene about it. Her black ankle boots showed off her long legs, plump in comparison to the stick-thin bony legs normally on display in the school yard, yet perfectly healthy and smooth. Blair suddenly envied her: the girl clearly ate carbs, didn't count calories, and didn't give a shit. She looked undeniably fantastic.

It wasn't fair. Such girls weren't meant to exist in the Upper East Side. Size 12 was meant to be fat; everyone was on one diet or another. Flabby stomachs, soft plump limbs and heavy figures weren't allowed. And they certainly weren't allowed to be attractive.

And yet, despite the Size 12 figure, Kei still had Nate staring at her from across the courtyard, regardless of Blair's glare at him. Jeez, as if the guy couldn't look more pathetic…

Never mind that statistics say that men actually prefer fuller figures…

Shaking her head of such thoughts, Blair followed Kei into class and settle in for another no doubt bizarre day.

If only she knew…

* * *

Hazel was seething. The stupid twit had completely blown it.

She'd been watching the morning's events as they unfolded like a hawk. She'd watched Chuck Bass step out of his limo with that bizarre attitude he'd had for months. That 'keep-the-hell-away-from-me' attitude, accompanied with 'I'm-still-richer-more-good-looking-sexier-and-hotter-than-you' vibe. Normally the two auras would clash of course, unlike his old magnetic qualities. Now, it worked. Particularly with that smouldering glare he'd sent her way. That glare told her he couldn't stand her, and, once gone, told her she didn't even gain any respect for it.

Even when we hate people, we at least acknowledge them as something to hate.

So much for her previous thoughts. Her mindset last night after reading Gossip Girl's last post were entirely different from Blair's. Hers was a different kind of worry. If Chuck Bass was returning to his old ways, then her plans for social dominance would need major revising. When he'd been silent and - quite frankly - boring in recent times, Chuck Bass had little social say. He seemed indifferent to it, and it was indifferent to him, for all of Gossip Girl's moaning. In his wilder fays all would be a disaster if you clashed horns with Chuck Bass. The only one who ever successfully managed Chuck Bass, despite being his polar opposite, was Blair Waldorf, the Queen B herself.

Ex-queen B, Hazel reminded herself, smirking at the thought.

Still, ex-queen or no, Jenny Humphrey had still failed to kicked Blair down a notch. She'd been saved by Kei Kata… whatever the hell her stupidly long double barrelled surname was. Where the hell was she from anyway, China?

That would be England, dear… Hazel never did like things that were beyond her, such as identifying ethnicity...

Anyway, that morning had put things in perspective for Hazel, even as she ascended the steps into the school building as the bell rang for class, flanked by Penelope, Is and Kati. Chuck Bass still never got hangovers from scotch, and Kei had picked a side. She'd even bought Blair sushi from the Silver Sakura, Manhattan's latest and hottest Japanese restaurant, what a suck up.

And worse, Nate Archibald still couldn't keep his eyes off of her, even though Kei hadn't even glanced in his direction, not once. There was no way of telling whether it was deliberate or not: Kei's attention had entirely been on Blair.

That was perhaps the single blessing Hazel had seen that morning: Kei's lack of attention in Nate. After all, he'd gotten over Serena van der Woodsen… eventually. His attention on Kei would diminish quicker at this rate, with Kei's current attitude.

_Assuming that lasts…_

Hazel narrowed her eyes at that thought. Nate could charm his way into anyone's affections effortlessly. Sometimes, she remarked to herself, quite literally.

Really…

At least he hadn't reacted much when Blair almost got yogurt in her hair. Couldn't have him reviving ghosts, could she?

Just before she went inside, she took a mirror out of her bag, checked her reflection, fiddled with her fringe for a moment, pouted to test her lipstick - ruby red - and then turned to Penelope before heading inside.

Day 2, after all, does not begin until the queen of the Upper East Side has entered her kingdom.

Not quite, hun. The day doesn't begin until Gossip Girl says so. Which means Hazel was already late, and Blair was still one up from yesterday.

* * *

Our School days are really only made interesting by the ridiculous, the ludicrous, and the bizarre. Except all three are merely matters of perspective. By the end of lunch time, the general perspective was changed by this:

**Anyone noticed shadows in the hallways? It's like Mean Girls… except H is no Regina.**

**Give up strutting down the hallways, H. you're too small, too blonde, too ordinary: more like Angela in American Beauty. Constance Billiard has had only two queens, and the last surpassed the first. You're no match for red tights, chocolate curls and Waldorf couture, even in your Jimmy Choos and Ralph Lauren shirt. Currently, only one rules the Upper East Side who can strut their stuff:**

_**Me.**_

**Although, maybe the heir to the throne has only just arrived…**

**You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl**

_Ouch_…

Kei received this whilst doing a balancing act with two silvery black cups of miso soup, just as lunch break started. She'd left Blair with Serena and Dan Humphrey to find their new window sill to pick up the soup from Tetsuo, a twenty-three year old punk who delivered on his motorbike for the Silver Sakura. She'd just thanked him when her cell phone beeped at her, and she almost burnt her fingers on the still scalding liquid as she fished her phone out of her bag.

As she read the new post, her face slowly fell. She swore under her breath, and headed back into school with a last wave to the scarlet haired delivery boy, ignoring and keenly aware of the stares from everyone around her, freshmen to seniors. She quickened her stride as she noticed Nate Archibald head toward her, and sighed when he gave up from her retreating back. Not with Blair watching from the window above, she thought.

As she approached the window sill, handing miso soup to Blair whilst Serena carried on yapping about her brother going to seedy bars with Chuck Bass, Kei pondered over Serena's boyfriend's stare. Meeting it dead on she caught the look of surprise that flashed through Daniel Humphrey's frown, and smirked. To his credit, he didn't avert his eyes, merely met her challenging gaze until he got the point.

No one judged Kei like that. Particularly when they've got Gossip Girl's blog open in their hand. First impressions can be harmless, but not when they belong to someone else. After all, she hadn't written of Daniel as 'Lonely Boy'. Yet.

Eventually she won the staring competition when Dan averted his attention back to his girlfriend.

"Blair, if I catch him giving Eric scotch tasting classes I swear I'll…"

Kei tuned out again from Serena's ranting, this time alerted by Blair's quiet scoff. She wasn't sure if she'd heard it, but by the look on Blair's face, just before she turned to stare out the window, she couldn't be sure. It was an odd expression: a mix of scepticism and disbelief, but also disapproval. Kei could guess at what exactly it was that Blair doubted and disapproved of, but then again…

Kei had stayed up until three in the morning reading Gossip Girl's archives, spanning almost everything that had happened in the social arena of Constance Billiard and St Jude's for over three years. All of junior year, sophomore year and freshman year, starting right back from when they were all fourteen, all growing up, becoming or not becoming everything that their affluent parents had intended for them. Kei got a glimpse of Serena's old self: the party girl that even rivalled the Upper East Side's ultimate party boy, Chuck Bass. There was no mention of 'Lonely Boy' until the beginning of junior year, nor was there much of Hazel and her groupies until Blair was dethroned in junior year, earning the blonde some respect for having the nerve to do it. And yet, the blog worshipped Serena and Blair; the wild blonde and the regal brunette, though it always seemed that Blair was silver to Serena's gold, despite Blair's pure, clean record, to-die-for boyfriend and respectful background. Her exploits were always cunning and manipulative, whereas Serena's always involved drink, drugs, sex, all obvious and undignified, for Kei's own tastes.

On the other side, Chuck Bass appeared to be an intriguing mix of the two girls: constantly pursuing hedonism, permanently smirking and oozing sexiness, like a true King of the Upper East Side. Almost always involved in Blair's schemes, always either involved in or invited to or gate-crashing Serena's parties, Manhattan was very clearly his oyster. Nate Archibald almost seemed like a puppy dog of his, always following Chuck, or Blair when she called him to heel, thus whenever she wasn't there a lot of photos would appear of him being chatted up by other girls, usually blondes, all of them written off as sluts invading Blair's territory by Gossip Girl. Intriguingly, almost all of them were given a double branding, after being caught exiting Chuck Bass' hotel suite. And yet, Nate Archibald was always the golden boy, too shiny to be insulted, too handsome to be labelled a man-whore like Chuck Bass.

This was the dynamic that they created when Carter Baizen left St Judes. Baizen had been the real king of St Judes at the time, until he finished high school and disappeared off the face of the earth, leaving the thrones of the schools to the four then freshmen, the 'Jenny's of his time, so to speak. Except, they'd been smart enough to strike the right balance: respect for their elders and independence. Thus, Baizen seemed to have respected them too.

Then, in the middle of sophomore year, Serena left New York. The mystery of her out-of-the-blue departure had lasted for months, and Gossip Girl was giddy with speculation of where she was, why she'd left, when she'd be returning. The dynamic shifted to a rather bizarre threesome: Kei noticed Blair perfected her melting charmer's smile, the one that was overwhelmingly fake once you realised, in those months. Despite losing his favourite blonde, Nate didn't get any closer to his girlfriend, though the number of times he was caught chatting up other girls decreased dramatically. His relationship with Blair remained the same: completely one-sided. Kei didn't need Blair to tell her that like she had the day before; it was pretty damn obvious from the photos of the two together. If it was ever mentioned in the blog, it was so subtle it probably wasn't even really intentional. Gossip Girl loved their spats, their fights, every time they made up, every time their evenings together ended early with each going home alone. As for Chuck, he took over Serena's hosting and that was about it. Every now and then he'd disappear off the radar for an evening, reappearing late at night at the Palace, sometimes quietly drunk and always alone.

Then Serena returned. Gossip Girl was ecstatic, and, despite the obvious disappointment that the party girl era was clearly over, things were even better. Gossip Girl relished Blair's iciness, the bitch fights, Serena dating Lonely Boy from Brooklyn: who would have thought it? Showdowns at the Bass brunch, wild hockey, Serena's confessed stay at the Ostroff Centre: it was too good to be true for the blogger. The novelty eventually wore off when it became apparent that things really weren't going to go back to how they were before: Serena was living up to her name a bit more, and all was more serene in her park, never mind the awkwardness of being in a relationship with probably the most judgemental boy at St Jude's.

For the trio however…

Kei couldn't believe Gossip Girl had the nerve to send Blair, as a birthday present, a photo of her boyfriend hugging another blonde girl, the night of her birthday party no less. So what that no one knew they'd already broken up (for reasons that only Blair fully knew), so what that no one knew that she'd lost her virginity to Chuck the night before (for reasons that even Blair didn't fully know)? It was kind of shocking to Kei that Gossip Girl, whoever she - or indeed maybe he - was, had been so insensitive for such a shallow end: gossip. It was that which made Kei realise, on top of everything else, the importance of Gossip Girl: she was quite a force to be reckoned with.

The rest was all a blur. Gossip Girl would never know the real nature of Blair's fling with Chuck, and thus no one else did either. Indeed, Kei gathered that Blair didn't really know herself. Still, no doubt if Gossip Girl did know, she'd have had a field day with it. Chuck Bass attempting a relationship? No doubt the emphasis would have been on the attempting bit; maybe Blair had a point when she asked Chuck to keep quiet about it.

There was the leak about Carter Baizen entering the Waldorf apartment - Kei had a good laugh over the real nature of that - despite being Serena's escort to Cotillion, and then the glorious and seemingly random punch on the dance floor. 'Has B been going out with the UES' returned exile? Does this mean that B and N were getting back together?' Gossip Girl didn't seem to know whether to be disappointed or delighted when they didn't, though watching Nate flirt so confidently with Blair proved an amusement every time she shot him down. Then, thanks to Gossip Girl once again, when the two did get back together after the pool party incident, they barely lasted a week. The whole status quo was wrecked and the triangle was pulled apart, leaving Blair's reputation ruined. Nate smoked and drank his way through the permanent break-up. Chuck spent his weekend exceedingly drunk and high, and then disappeared off Gossip Girl's radar entirely. He'd appear for school, solitary and quiet, vanish in the breaks, and then wouldn't be seen again until morning. It didn't take long for Gossip Girl to notice his absence, from the lack of photos and tips of sightings in Manhattan's best bars, nor entering or exiting the Palace Hotel with any company.

Everything became uneventful. Kei noticed the definite lack of approval for Hazel's efforts to become the next Blair, despite the parties, proms, functions, all the events of the Manhattan calender. None of it really impressed Gossip Girl that much. Hazel paled in comparison to Blair, Serena, Nate and Chuck, and she never measured up to Blair's royalty. No one had Chuck Bass' party style either. Instead, the blogger eagerly awaited any instance when the original four crossed paths… and yet all that happened were glares and heads held high, except between the two girls, best friends forever again. Yet when did loyalty make good gossip?

The Upper East Side was left waiting for its King and Queen to return to re-ignite the party fires…

Well, Kei thought, maybe she could provide the spark…

With that thought, she gave up trying to listen to the conversation around her on Yale, Brown and Dartmouth. Ah, college. Not something she knew much to converse about. She made her excuses, saying she was going to explore for a bit, left her bag with them and set off down the hallways. They were deserted, everyone outside for lunch on the Met steps or in nearby coffee shops. It was rather bizarre; the corridors of her old sixth-form in England always had people lurking around, as it was too deep in the suburbs for people to disappear to Starbucks and the like. At Constance Billiard, it was so empty it felt like it was probably haunted by students past.

A little creeped out by that idea, Kei stumbled across the Constance Billiard-St Judes library, clearly either newly built or recently refurbished. She went through the double glass doors and couldn't help but raise her eyebrows with approval. It was high-ceilinged, probably as high as the building itself, with balconies running above to serve as an upper floor, making it airy, and light from the almost floor to ceiling windows that ran down the right - south - wall. She nodded at the dozy librarian who appeared to be playing solitaire on the computer and walked slowly into the room, admiring the good taste in merging modern with traditional aspects. She drifted around the many bookshelves in the centre of the library, impressed at how many would serve each section. Along the left wall there were private study pockets, so private she'd have to stick her head in to see who occupied them. By the windows there were large tables for open group work, where currently the Anime society seemed to be quietly debating the merits of Pokemon, much to Kei's amusement. It took a good minute to reach the end of the room, having passed the vast English Literature and History sections, amongst a good many others. Along the upper level she could see the Science sections: Biology, Physics, Chemistry, as well as Mathematics and Engineering.

Then, just as she'd found the Philosophy section, right in the furthest corner of the library, she caught sight of the back of a head that she'd only seen in passing and on a computer screen, tucked into a study pocket. Lucky that Kei never has expectations of people before she meets them from nothing but gossip, otherwise she wouldn't have believed her eyes. Lucky also that Kei understood the value of privacy.

And lucky for us that her curiosity won her over…

"You must be Chuck Bass."

_161: Poets are shameless with their experiences: they exploit them._

* * *

My sincerest apologies to any regulars for the considerable delay in this chapter. The summer has proved more packed than I anticipated. I am continuing with the story, it's all fresh in my head, like a film on repeat.

Disclaimer: obviously, Gossip Girl doesn't belong to me, nor do the lyrics of 'Thank you' by Jamelia, nor the quotes for Beyond Good and Evil by Friedrich Nietzsche. Kei's all mine though.

Thanks to Gleechild for beta-ing for me, I liked a great many of your improvements, I'm sure you'll spot them lol. Btw I didn't put the Narrator's comments in italics because I haven't previously, and as they consist of one-liners I thought it wasn't needed. Looking forward to your comment lol.

Hoping all are well, please let me know whether I've got the back story right, this is just my interpretation of events, filtered through what Gossip Girl would have reported on.

Take care people xx


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_Twilight of the Idols, _

_37. You run on _ahead? - _Do you do so as a herdsman? Or as an exception? A third possibility would be as a deserter... _First _question of conscience._

_38. Are you genuine? Or only an actor? A representative? Or that itself which is represented? - Finally you are no more than an imitation of an actor... _Second_ question of conscience._

_40. Are you one who looks on? Or who sets to work? - Or who looks away, turns aside... _Third_ question of conscience._

_41. Do you want to accompany? Or go on ahead? Or go off alone?... One must know _what_ once wants and _that_ one wants. - _Fourth_ question of conscience._

"You must be Chuck Bass."

_Shit._

Chuck froze in furious alarm. _How did_…? His fingers tightened around his Cartier pen before setting it down on the desk. He turned his head, intending to throw all his rage into a single look, to frighten the crap out of the idiot who dared to rumble his peace, to scare the living daylights out of the bitch/bastard who had disturbed his temporary haven, to -

His anger was forgotten the moment he saw who it was.

So this is the New Girl, he thought. Fixing his face with a calculating look, barricading himself behind it, he ran his eyes over the girl before him. The first thing he noticed was how still she stood, even under his examination. She had excellent posture, her back straight, long legs crossed, one hand gently holding the edge of the study cell's frame, the other graceful at her side, silver bracelet dangling. She was curvy, exotic, and intelligence sparkled in her hazel eyes.

And yet…

As a master of seduction, Chuck knew how much body language could sell someone. The right look, or pout, or stance. He'd seen girls thrust their chests out, wiggle their hips; the tiniest move betrayed all desire and want to him. How else had he been the most successful womanizer of St Judes? But the girl before him… had nothing to betray. Despite how straight her back was, her balance on her crossed ankles, even the angle of her arm… though it definitely made her look more attractive, none of it was deliberately seductive.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd met a girl that hot who wasn't hot for _him_. Hell, such a creature was not meant to exist.

Maybe she was a lesbian…

Probably not, he thought. As a master of seduction, Chuck Bass had fantastic gaydar. Not that it ever really hampered him before.

"I was wondering when I was going to meet you." Kei said plainly.

He smirked. "Really?"

Why did he feel like something was wrong?

She just smirked back. "After all, doesn't every girl's path cross your path at some point in this school?"

He scoffed at her faint sarcasm, his good mood dying as quickly as it ignited. She'd clearly been talking to Blair or Serena, or worse, reading Gossip Girl. "Is that so?"

Her smirk was quickly replaced with a benevolent smile. "I always find that things never quite live up to our expectations, so it's better to have none." She said cryptically, warningly, bending forward slightly as though sharing a secret.

He frowned. "Isn't that usually to avoid disappointment?"

"Perhaps. Personally, I find that it means I don't judge people before I've met them."

At that, her pointed gaze was so piercing even Chuck feared for his secrets. Despite the fact that he very rarely told lies, he was always almost better than Blair at keeping secrets. But he got her point, and when it sunk in, his bad mood eased again. So he smirked - Chuck Bass doesn't smile for just anyone - and shifted in his chair, less tense than before.

"Well, in that case, what can I do for you?" He asked. Still something not quite right…

"You can satisfy my curiosity." She answered. His smirk was about to widen at that, his imagination running away with him, but she didn't give him the chance. "What are you doing here?"

Behind his defences, raised once again in a flash, Chuck dragged his mind out of the gutter to appreciate how quick she was. Even as she was asking her question, as innocently and harmlessly as possible, her eyes were already absorbing everything around her for clues. So before he could react she'd already spotted what he'd been working on.

"You're applying to Harvard?" She stepped closer. She merely looked impressed. She was probably the only person in the two brother-sister schools who would react like that. Anyone else with any guts - and there were few - would have ripped him a new one for even contemplating applying to Harvard, they'd say that even the Bass fortune couldn't afford to get him into the highest ranked college in the world. But this was Kei, the new girl. Not even Gossip Girl knew Chuck's grades.

"Amongst other places," he said vaguely.

She smiled at that and turned to his application. "Why Harvard?"

He raised an eyebrow. Wasn't it obvious? "Because it's the best."

"So?"

That he hadn't been expecting. He excused her ignorance for a moment: evidently she hadn't spent enough time at Constance Billiard yet. Only the best for them after all.

"Back home, if I wanted the best universities in the country I'd apply to Oxbridge. And I'm fairly certain I would hate it there; I'm far too lazy for it, even if I had the grades to get in. So I'll be applying for somewhere a little more liberal, a bit less up its own backside. Somewhere that fits me, where I'm comfortable." She looked up and smiled, as though surprised at her own honesty. Then she turned back to Chuck. "So, why Harvard?"

He considered her for a moment. _Ah, what the hell…_

"My father expects the best."

She stared at him for a moment and then nodded, understanding. Then she turned back to the desk. Next to the application was Harvard's undergraduate prospectus. She picked it up and started flicking through it.

"Let me guess, top grades in everything to be considered, right?"

Chuck didn't even need to bother. The question didn't need to be answered.

"Think you'll get in?"

His eyes narrowed. That question did require an answer, and he wasn't willing to give it. So he gave the only answer in his arsenal that would do.

"I'm Chuck Bass."

She stared at him for a second and then laughed at his smugness, and carried on chuckling as she nodded. She understood that perfectly, no 'so?' about that. She wasn't naïve about the power of donations.

"Fair enough," she replied. She had a nice laugh. It was an honest laugh. She put the prospectus down again. "You have to live up to your name, after all," she commented shrewdly.

Chuck wasn't sure what to make of that, so he didn't react. Then she smiled at a thought, and pulled her cell phone out of her back pocket. She tossed it lightly into his lap. "What's your number?

He smirked. Now things looked a fraction more normal. He picked up her cell - a Sony Ericsson Cyber-shot model - and punched his number in and rang it. His own cell vibrated in response in his jacket pocket and he ended the call and tossed the phone back to Kei.

She checked the number, as though photographically committing it to memory, and then turned to face him. When she looked up, he knew she'd finally got to business. A Bass never mistakes the gleam in someone's eye when they have a plan.

"I've noticed there have been a few calls for change lately. That things have become too _dull_…" Christ, she sounded like him. "I've got an idea."

* * *

The rest of that first week was an odd affair. Kei and Blair ate lunch together in their window sill never seen or spotted, content in their privacy. Once they had Japanese salad, another time chicken ramen freshly delivered, another day noodles, all from Silver Sakura. Sometimes Serena and Dan joined them towards the end of break. A few times the couple asked the two girls if they wanted to join them elsewhere: the park, a coffee shop. Blair always declined. She liked having a corner where she didn't have Hazel glaring at the back of her neck all the time.

Speaking of Hazel, aside from glaring, the infernal blonde hadn't made a move that week. After a certain amount of strategising and calculating, she had realised that no amount of back-handed comments, thinly-veiled insults or simple victimising was going to do her any favours. Blair Waldorf had been the centre of all approval and good publicity in her better days, calendars were cleared at her say-so. Hazel had had a small taste of that during the summer whilst partying with the best bred of the Upper East Side: she'd commanded a presence at those 'get-togethers', people noticed her, complimented her, flirted with her, paid her attention, and no doubt when she left the parties all got a little dimmer with her absence. All she had to do was the same thing now.

She should have acted faster. That Friday night, Kei's plan officially kicked off.

School was over for the weekend, the homework and assignments had been piled and noted, and put aside for the Sunday cram. Saturday was free for shopping, smoking in Central Park, that unmissable appointment at the hair-dresser or manicurist. Or in Chuck's case, he'd be a few hours ahead and sunning on Monaco's Mediterranean beaches or gambling in Monte Carlo's casinos; he was already heading for the airport again, his father's private jet waiting, his homework put aside for the plane if he got bored. What else was there to do on a trans-Atlantic flight - other than sleep? The plane would land around sun rise.

He was used to jet lag.

Serena and Dan were going to be 'hanging out' in Brooklyn, and Blair had no intention of joining them. Far more tempting was curling up with an Audrey Hepburn movie, she already had her mind set to seeing Breakfast At Tiffany's for the hundredth time.

Quite literally, by the way.

"What are you doing tonight, Waldorf?" Kei whispered. They were on the steps, about to part ways to their weekends of studying and, in Blair's case, perfecting Yale applications. She'd gotten used to quiet weekends, save for Serena bugging her to go out more or her mother pushing her into attending some society event where she had to dress in her mother's barely flattering designs and smile at New York's established society. She preferred the studying. After all, with Yale being the last unblemished goal on her agenda, Blair had no intention of slacking off. Not once had her grades dipped, not for anything, and just because it was the first week it didn't mean she had an excuse to put things back or get sloppy.

At no point over the summer did she factor in making new friends, which is why it caught her off guard to be asked. But… it's Friday night. She should have plans. Seeing as she's got someone new to celebrate the new term with.

"Got anything in mind?" She asked, keeping her voice down, smiling at the idea of actually having some fun for once. She could feel Hazel's gaze burn again, which only made her smile grow all the more. That stupid blonde bitch wasn't going to spoil anything now.

"I have an idea." Kei's smile widened when she spotted Hazel over Blair's shoulder, the gleam in her eyes instantly reminding Blair of two people: herself, whenever she'd just thought of one of her many brilliant schemes, and… that ass who shall not be named.

"Be ready for eight or nine-ish. I'll come round when I'm ready, and we'll give them all something to talk about on Monday." Kei said. Blair quickly scribbled down her address for Kei and watched her depart in the opposite direction with a conspiratorial wink and ever more determination in her step.

The New Girl had never looked so at home before.

It reminded Blair of the old days, she realised as she turned and headed home. She had more fun back then. Even though fun constituted watching Serena get drunk off her ass, flirt with her own bewitched boyfriend who only remembered her at the end of the party when she said she was leaving, whilst Chuck whispered perverted, seductive nothings in her ear whilst trying to peer down her top, subtly reminding her that she was more than gorgeous enough to be noticed. She didn't let on, but she had always appreciated that he'd spend his oh-so-valuable time that he could have been using in his suite just keeping her ego afloat.

An odd version of fun, she noted. No wonder she knew how to fake a smile so well.

Of course, she did have the option of calling Serena to see if she wanted to come on whatever adventure Kei was cooking up, to throw the only welcome old and altered element into the mix. If only Serena hadn't said that she was going to be doing 'things' with Humphrey. Ugh. She loved Serena, but she didn't love living under Serena's shadow. The blonde was too bright and beautiful, she outshone everyone whether she meant to or not. Besides, Kei hadn't said anything about inviting Serena. Maybe next time.

For now, Blair liked sharing the growing spotlight with Kei, fifty-fifty.

* * *

Shower. Slow. Calm. Centre.

Along with liking sleep and duvets, there's plenty more to know about Kei Katayama-Argen. One more thing was this: she'd rather be seen without any make-up on whatsoever and in the t-shirt her grandmother gave her for her twelfth birthday (it fits ok now if you like the tom-boy look, still on the big side) than feel sticky. Thus, whenever Kei had plans, she had an appointment with the bathroom for about half-an hour. To freshen up, relax, to put life back into limp curls. Tired eyes needed brightening, and her lips ached to grin, smile and laugh the night away.

Another thing to know about her was that she didn't think in terms of labels. Whilst the rest of Constance Billiards thought in terms of Jimmy Choo and Marc Jacobs, and all the most stylish of designer names, Kei thought in colour. Her closet didn't contain Gucci dresses, Prada handbags and Christian Louboutin boots. It had blue sweaters, black shirts, and funky cotton socks. The most expensive pair of shoes she had were her favourite boots from Faith, £70, bought three years ago and still looked great. The only item of clothing whose label she remembered was her Jane Norman jeans, £35, simply because they fit her figure so perfectly that they deserved to be recognised by name.

Labels, she felt, were too much an indication of how deep one's pocket ran and the kind of people you were trying to impress. She had yet to see much reason to think the contrary, though she was hoping there was, that thinking was a little too Marxian for her tastes. Nevertheless, her appearance and style - to her at least - were more a definition of her mind: hence her closet was very much separated into colours and blacks. She hadn't the faintest conscious idea of what that season's colours were, certainly didn't go out of her way to dress in them, and most of her clothes were of varying ages, right from that five year old t-shirt to the dress she'd been given as a leaving present that she was wearing tonight.

Having said that, of course, the t-shirt had never and would never leave the safety of her home. She did know what looked good and what didn't, even when popping down to the corner shop to get her dad a newspaper.

But we digress.

That Friday, the first of many in the semester, Kei felt like she was washing away the grease of Hazel's glares from her skin. After spending a good five minutes towelling her hair dry, she had the chance to let her pace change. She didn't have to walk to the order and chaos of Constance Billiards beat, nor the rush of New York's buzzing commuters. She was reaching that pool of tranquillity she always began in, that calm hedonism required.

Worked better than any drug known to man.

The towel dropped, and the hunt for the most comfortable underwear she possessed began. No one was going to see them, so it hardly mattered that they didn't match. Damp hair was treated with anti-frizz serum, smooth legs lotioned, antiperspirant rolled on and skin lightly spritzed with perfume. Along with the shower gel and the shampoo, it all created a fresh wafting scent of exotic fruit, nothing sickeningly sweet, yet ripe all the same.

She picked up the hair-dryer and considered: hair straight or wavy, up or down?

* * *

7pm. Blair was standing in front of her closet in her dressing gown, Dorota standing just behind her. They were going through her clothes, debating what she should wear. So far they'd agreed on the shoes, an odd place to start: Dior, nearly five inch heels, black suede with sequin and diamond accents. A beautiful pair of pumps, just begging to be worn. Dorota kept pulling things out to be considered, but Blair kept pulling doubtful faces. Truth was, she had no idea what Kei had in mind, and so didn't know what to wear. For all she knew, Kei's idea of a Friday night could be finding some bar out in Queens that reminded her of the 'old-man-pubs' she used to frequent with her friends back in England, Kei's phrase not Blair's. She didn't know what Kei's style was either; she'd only ever seen her in her school uniform. She could be a Goth for all Blair knew, wasn't the first song she heard Kei listen to by the Foo Fighters?

The elevator tinged and Blair's stomach leapt to her throat as her heart plummeted. She wasn't expecting anyone… the only person who ever dropped by unexpected, unannounced and unwelcome was…

But he hadn't been to the Waldorf penthouse since before Cotillion last year…

Dorota disappeared to greet the visitor as Blair stepped forward to inspect her closet. On one side all her mother's designs hung, worn only when specified. In the middle were things bought for her, all quite conservative like her mother's creations, and the other side consisted of items she'd bought herself, a mix of things she'd bought in different moods: optimistic or pessimistic, rarely anything in between.

"Figuring out what to wear?" A voice said. Blair's heart and stomach returned to their more comfortable positions. "I'm sorry, I should have given you an outline of my plan; I didn't want Hazel to overhear."

Blair smiled, about to excuse Kei, until her jaw dropped with wonder.

Kei was mesmerising in perfect turquoise: a shimmering cocktail of sapphire and aqua blue blended with rainforest greens. Her silky dress hung gently over her body, tightening around her hips, emphasising all the right curves. In that beautiful colour, her skin looked more tan, as though she'd been out in the sun all day and a mermaid had given her the dress. The skirt was short and fitted lightly over her thighs, the cap sleeves slit to slightly drape her sides, and the neckline floated over her cleavage, completing a dress that wanted to be beautiful and still say 'no'.

Her dark hair was tied up and twisted into a bun at the back of her head, with strands falling out for a slightly messier look. Her bangs fell past her chin, curling under to frame her face, almost golden in the light from the sun-streaks. Her face was perfectly made up without making her look plastic or porcelain, with enormous amounts of colour on her eyes. Lined with crème turquoise, there were layers of shadowy coral, blue, green, all shimmering together to bring out the green in her eyes. Her lips shone with her lip gloss, twitching into an embarrassed smile.

And to complete the image, platform wedges that almost matched the colour of her dress. Simple straps over her toes, and slim ankle straps to begin her long legs.

She looked nothing short of extraordinary. Not even Serena had ever looked so colourful.

"Don't," Kei warned gently, blushing like a ripe tomato, "don't say anything, you'll make me want to run home and change."

Blair grinned, knowing that the compliments didn't need to be said. Kei bent down to take off her shoes and sighed with relief to walk normally again on the soft carpet. She came over to Blair's closet and took the Diors out of Blair's hands to admire them. "Wearing these?"

Blair nodded. "Yes, but I don't know what with," she sighed. "What do you think?"

Still gazing at the pumps, Kei stepped into the closet and raised her head to go over Blair's many choices. She raised a critical eyebrow at all of Eleanor's designs and turned away from them. The eyebrow went up and down over the middle section, pausing to consider the St John Santana sleeveless dress that cost over a thousand dollars that looked bizarrely square. It got a slight shake of Kei's head and was returned to the rail.

She finally got to Blair's own section and slowed down completely. She paused over the Jay Godfrey black and gold halter dress, smiling, already imagining the fun Blair could have in it, but it didn't really go with the shoes. Another time for that one, she thought. She paused over a couple of others, all black, short, gorgeous and fun, until her eyes lit up and she pulled out her final choice to hold up for Blair's vote of confidence.

Blair could remember getting this one a few months ago at Saks, wondering if she could wear it at a party in France perhaps. In the end, she thought it was a little too sexy to be comfortable in, but being held up by Kei, an absolute vision, she reconsidered it. The Marc Bouwer Glamit! Sequin Top Cocktail Dress. Silk with a chiffon lightly scattered sequin skirt, beaded contrast Empire band, V-neck with spaghetti straps: a dress that demanded to be seen at night to twinkle with the stars.

It would look perfect on Blair. And more importantly, Blair would look perfect in it.

She looked up from the dress to Kei, smiling nervously, quietly asking for encouragement, and was met with a beam that looked like the sun had just shone through the window. Kei held out the dress and stepped out of the way so Blair could change in her bathroom.

After closing the door and untying the dressing gown, Blair caught sight of her reflection in the mirror over the basin and froze. She looked so young, so innocent, so thin and tired, so nervous and anxious, as though she'd never been out on a Friday night before. Her French tan was paling with her nerves, and she looked away. It had been too long since she'd actually looked forward to having fun; she refused to lose her spirits now.

She zipped up the dress, stepped into the shoes, ignored the mirror and came out. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Kei standing by her bedside table, delicately balancing the Ericsson Beamon necklace on her fingers. Kei looked up, dragging her eyes from the necklace's beauty, and smiled even more approvingly at Blair. Her smile faltered when she saw that Blair only had eyes for the necklace.

"Is this…?" She trailed off. She already knew the answer: only Chuck would have even thought of giving something that beautiful to Blair. Blair nodded nonetheless. Kei put it back in its place of honour, treating it so fragilely. She was no fool; she knew how much it meant to Blair. It went without saying. "Speaking of Chuck, I met him a couple of days ago." Every muscle in Blair's body tensed. _Oh God_. What if he reacted just like Nate…? "Not my type, but you've got great taste, I must say." That was one relief. Now all Blair needed to hear was… "I got the impression it was quite mutual, though whether he was aware of it, I don't know."

Despite the oddness of what she said, Blair did hear the first part, and that was all that mattered. She relaxed, relieved: she didn't know how she'd feel if Chuck tried it on with Kei. Or rather, she did know, and didn't like it. But she was digressing… she didn't want to think about this any more.

Sensing Blair's changing mood, Kei handed over a pair of tear-drop diamond earrings and a matching necklace to Blair, waited for her to put them on, and then took her arm and gently pulled her in front of the mirror.

After a dozen adjustments, Kei finally stood back and considered the girl before her. Blair sighed, closed her eyes, and ordered herself to stop being pessimistic, to stop feeling sorry for herself, to stop being so lame and pathetic and down-in-the-dumps. It was Friday night. Blair Waldorf belonged to the stars.

She opened her eyes, and finally smiled. She looked great. Her hair was sat in glossy curls, a sequin scattered headband crowning her head, her make-up was flawless, her eyes bright and alive, and the dress fitted her perfectly. It showed and enhanced her body in all the best ways, making her look gorgeous and sexy, without making her look like a tart. She was wearing over a thousand dollars worth of clothing and accessories, and she looked like she was worth every cent. Kei came up round behind her to stare into the mirror too, grinning at their reflections. They were going to take New York by a storm.

"I think it's time to fill you in on the plan."

* * *

It was raining lightly as they stepped out of the taxi. Kei was putting up an umbrella and talking on her cell as Blair paid the driver.

"_It's quite simple really. We're going to make you the hottest girl in the whole of New York City."_

Oh yes, very simple.

"We're just outside." Kei hung up. Blair got out of the taxi, her heels clicking on the wet side walk.

"_We're Seniors now. We're going to university, college, next year. We're growing up, and so the arena has to mature. No more school playground fights; showing up in the most expensive coat and shoes with the classiest handbag on the school steps was last year's tactics. Besides, that just shows off your parents' credit cards, not _you_."_

Blair looked up at the building in front of her, ran her eyes over the name, over the bouncers at the door, the number of people complaining about the weather in the queue that were standing fast.

"_We need to reset the game, go a level above Hazel and Jenny and the rest of those wanna-bes. To become irresistible, to be the first person on the invitations list to the best parties, to be the one for whom all plans are dropped for again."_

A tall, youthful guy came out of the open double doors, grinned at Kei and Blair and whispered to the bouncer, who nodded and waved the two girls into Noh.

"_It's all about being confident, sexy, the kind of person people wish they were but don't have the guts. The kind of person they want, but can't have. To literally be a cut above the rest."_

Blair's eyes quickly adjusted to the dark in the entrance tunnel as she followed Kei in. Suddenly there was orange glow everywhere. Then red. Then pink. Slowly changing to purple. To blue.

Noh was new, classy, and gave the air of exclusivity without being undeservedly snobbish. It was a big club, and through the dark Blair could see scenes of old Japanese theatre painted on the walls, and the VIP section across the dance floor was on a raised Noh stage. On either side of the entrance where she stood, raised a little over the packed dance floor, was the bar, bathed in the alternating lights. Above the racks of alcohol bottles and mixers, she could see old Noh masks, ghostly under the changing colours.

Despite the imported Japanese deco - fitting, considering her new friend - the DJ was playing Western dance hits, and so, after she and Kei were given their first cocktails - on the house, courtesy of Cosmo, the Columbia undergraduate who got them in and son of the owner of the club, Kei explained - the two girls hit the floor just as the DJ put on something new.

"_Know your limits. Don't get reckless. Having a couple of drinks for the buzz is fine, it's great, but you don't want to be swaying everywhere, out of control, doing God-knows-what that you'll regret seeing on Gossip Girl in the morning. Be aware of yourself, and your surroundings, stay safe."_

The moment Kei stepped on to the dance floor and into the crowd, surrounded by the beat, her entire body entered an entirely new state, it was as though she'd just stepped through a waterfall and emerged another person on the other side. Blair saw all the tension leave her body; it looked like the music was making its home in her bones, in her sinew, in her soul. She effortlessly commanded her own space: the whole night, Blair noticed no one bumped into them, nor cut through them. Her friend, Cosmo, watched them from the VIP stage with his boyfriend, a brotherly smile on his face. She was lost to the vibe, the sway of the bodies around her, the beat in the floor; and Blair couldn't help but jump in right after her.

It reminded her of Victrola, when she danced on the stage. Except, now she was just dancing for herself, not teasing…

It was pure hedonism, letting go, completely unwinding, freeing every limb, flowing to the rhythm of the DJ's whim. Blair hadn't smiled properly that much in ages.

When they took a break when a song came on that neither liked, they joined Cosmo and his friends on the VIP stage, got more drinks. Kei got out her Cybershot cell, flipped the camera's cover back and took a photo of them, in perfect focus, mid-laugh, eyes twinkling with glee, the most gorgeous girls in the club.

Gossip Girl, eat your heart out.

* * *

Chuck was just stepping off the plane, bleary-eyed, into the Mediterranean heat, when his cell beeped at him. Just as he was expecting it would.

**I know it's late Upper East Siders, though if you're in bed already just sleeping then I'm disappointed. Well, whatever you're doing, hold it: this can **_**not**_** wait. Guess who sent the following picture?**

Chuck grinned at Kei's photo, complete with the following comment: _Welcome to Senior Year everyone. The party's only just begun._

Finally, for the first time in a very long time, Chuck Bass thought to himself that things were starting to look right. His grin faded to a gentler smile as he studied the tiny photo in more depth.

He took a moment to admire the mix of colour Kei was sporting, the dip in her top, the life in the girl's smile. A very attractive girl, he acknowledged, realising what was off kilter when he met her: for all her undeniable beauty, she wasn't what he wanted, and so he had little interest in 'tapping that ass', as he used to say. Then he gave in to temptation and only had eyes for Blair's curls around her perfect face, the bliss in her snapshot laugh, the ease in the happy wrinkles around her eyes, the BFF hug she shared with Kei as they posed for the picture. She was all he could look at; finally, he'd seen her smile again.

That was the last time he found himself on the wrong side of the Atlantic on a Saturday morning.

_Twilight of the Idols, 44. Formula of my happiness: a Yes, a No, a straight line, a _goal...

* * *

Once again, my apologies for delays in writing. Had good fun writing this one, though it might drag a bit in places.

Now then, Gossip Girl etc do not belong to me, sadly I'm not making any money out of this, bother. The quotes are from Friedrich Nietzsche's 'Twilight of the Idols', in the 'Maxims and Arrows' chapter, translated by R.J. Hollingdale for Penguin Classics. Decipher them into normal English, and you have the underlying questions beneath my story.

By the way, all of Blair's clothing that was mentioned by name was found on the Saks website if you want to take a look. If only I had the money for those Diors...

Thanks to Gleechild for beta-reading for me, even though she's been up to her neck with her own works. Sharon, you're the best!

Hope you're all well, many thanks to all those reviewed the last chapter and to all those from around the world who've been reading (yay for Reader traffic lol). Hope you've enjoyed this latest, will be drafting the next over the next week as fast as I can, though will probably be posted in three weeks due to Residential Advisor training and Freshers' Week at Sussex. At least, I hope then, cos term starts in three weeks. Oh bugger...

Anyway, take care of yourselves, one and all. If you're in the Northern Hemisphere, welcome to Autumn/Fall. If you're in the Southern Hemisphere, welcome to Spring. Please review! xxx


	7. Chapter 7

Warning: language might affect ratings, if you think that I should switch the rating to M please let me know, won't bother me one little bit. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 7

_166: Poets are shameless with their experiences: they exploit them._

_Odd. Noise. Wha…?_

Kei slowly opened her eyes and quickly focused. Grey light was streaming in through the gaps in the blinds. New York weekend traffic, and early fall rain.

That noise again.

Phone vibrating.

_Oh_…

Kei turned over, reached for her mobile phone - cell phone, she corrected herself, strange American lingo.

Hang on. Why was Chuck Bass calling her?

"Hello?" She answered, clearing her throat.

"Someone had a good night last night." She could practically hear his smirk over the line. "Did you get enough sleep?"

She raised an eyebrow and checked the phone screen. 11.43am. _Ugh…_

"No, I didn't." She grumbled. "Thank you."

She heard him chuckle. "You're welcome. Did you get to read Gossip Girl before you turned in?"

_Gossip who…? Oh wait…_ She smirked too.

"Did you like it?" She gave him a moment to think up the best response.

"If only I'd been there myself." Chuck replied. She smiled. Those six words conveyed so much, much more than he wanted it to.

"Indeed," she teased, "a pity, then, that you were halfway across the ocean when we set out." She stretched tiredly. Her body was experiencing a mini hangover. "How is Monaco?"

"Very hot, very sunny."

"Worth it?"

* * *

_What an interesting question…_

Chuck Bass looked around him. It was mid afternoon, he was on a pristine white sand beach, the sun turning the sea into diamonds. The last stragglers of the summer vacation were soaking up the rays, tanning for all they were worth. Not far from his deck chair were a trio of women in their late thirties, maybe late forties, sunbathing topless, boasting their various boob-jobs. All of them, Chuck reckoned, had probably undergone liposuction in various places as well. Surgically perhaps it was all good work, but not that impressive to him. He always preferred the real thing, big or small.

And speaking of the real thing that he preferred…

"In a way," he answered, very non-committal. "Did Waldorf have fun last night?" Like the ice-queen B could have fun, he bitterly critiqued.

There was a short pause that he couldn't decipher. "You could ask her yourself, you know," Kei said.

The comment was softly put, but all the same it made Chuck deeply regret calling her. His temper flared so suddenly he hadn't the faintest idea why. It felt a little like he wanted it to be patronising, just so he had some grounds to lay into her.

"She did," Kei finally supplied, "I dropped her off home, safe and sound, about two o'clock or something. She was practically falling asleep on my lap in the taxi home, she was pretty tired."

"Sounds like a good night." He said after a beat.

"Yes, it was." Kei happily agreed.

"Anything else planned?"

He heard her take a sip of something - coffee, he guessed. "I have a couple of ideas. Noh was just the beginning, as promised." He heard something ping up - toast. "Might need your help with some things. In fact, one big thing, but I won't be sure about that until Monday, see how people have reacted at school first."

"Sounds intriguing," he commented, his curiosity piqued. She chuckled. As she trailed off into silence, he sensed hesitation.

"Chuck?"

"Yes?"

"Honest opinion: how do you think people will react to it?"

"To the photo?"

"Yeah, that, the thing I added to it that Gossip Girl kept. Will it have worked as I planned?"

He sighed and adjusted in his seat, analysing current events. He already knew the answer to her question, so he was much more interested in his reaction to Kei, right there and then. That question conveyed so many insecurities, hesitations and uncertainties, all wide open to be spotted by those with half a brain. So few as smart as her was this honest, and he couldn't help but respect her for it: he sensed she knew what she was doing, what she was revealing, and did so because they were trivial, unnecessary, insignificant perhaps compared to things that did matter to her. By being open like that she completely closed off what was important to her, kept them totally out of sight. The deception was visible only to the very observant, and Chuck Bass was easily one of the most observant people in their world. He admired her for it, respected her for it, and he barely respected _anyone_.

"Kei, you will see that everything will go smoothly, as long as you stick to the script you've written. Because I promise you, the props are going to work just fine," he reassured her, smirking at his own lines. "Besides, I told you before it would work."

She chuckled again, relieved and confident again. "And you're never wrong of course, right?" She teased.

He grinned. "Naturally. I'll see you at school."

* * *

Chuck Bass is always right. Kei smirked at the arrogant and - come Monday - correct assertion.

Arriving on foot, in thick black pantihose against the cold and cute black leather ballet flats, Kei immediately noticed the stares. The groups of people, boys and girls alike, cluttered together, whispering, watching her every step, a mix of admiration, curiosity, want and respect.

Right on target.

She caught sight of Chuck waiting on the steps, observing everything around him. He had a new smirk, one that said everything was happening exactly as he expected, yet still amused that it had. He met her stare and grinned. Now Kei knew why Gossip Girl had referred to Chuck Bass as the Upper East Side's devil: he still loved scheming, and the plotting, and the rise and fall. She smiled back and nodded slightly before spotting Blair.

The pair of them had better things to do than be stared at.

* * *

Watching developments, fresh off the bus, Jenny wasn't certain of herself. Since term had begun she hadn't see much of Nate and she wasn't naïve about why. Nate had eyes for only one girl at the moment, with Oriental dark hair instead of Western blonde. She'd taken to hanging out with Kati and Isabel, whenever they were fed up with Hazel's whinging and whining, and with Elise whenever the tiny sophomore wasn't running around doing Hazel's errands. She felt sorry for Elise: Jenny knew how the little girl felt, and she looked like she was only twelve.

Jenny had just joined Hazel's group; Penelope, Isabel and Kati - Elise was nowhere to be seen, latte run perhaps - when all focus went from scattered to specific. Kei had just arrived, bemused with the attention, yet did nothing to revert it or indeed encourage it. She was just walking, earphones from an iPod or something hanging around her neck. Under Jenny's eyes, she was a strange subject: the clothes she was wearing were all good quality, yet Jenny couldn't identify the designer. Must be from wherever Kei was from, she guessed, London fashion probably, not Saks, Barneys or Bendels and the like. But definitely not handmade, Jenny thought bitterly.

How did Kei command such effortless cool? How could she walk so normally, yet have every boy eagerly watching her every curve for the slightest bounce, the slightest wiggle. How could she eat normally to have those curves, when Jenny herself was having to eat yogurt and grapes for lunch just to fit in?

It wasn't fair.

Jenny had learnt herself how difficult it was to manipulate the social hierarchy. For all their efforts, she knew that she and Hazel had only so many lives: one hit at either could knock them down to their original positions: nobodies following somebodies. Gossip Girl was lukewarm to them, no matter how much they may try to impress her.

And yet, Kei swooped in with her British accent, soft figure, and a well placed insult, and won the spotlight. And seemed… amused about it.

God, what Jenny wouldn't give for that cool…

She turned, and realised that standing next to her was another story.

Hazel had spent the weekend fuming after receiving Gossip Girl's Friday night post, and every sighting of Blair or Kei around the city. She didn't want to see the photo of Blair in Saks, or Kei entering a gym with her swimsuit peeking out from her top. Seeing Kei now, merely bemused by the attention she had deliberately bought through her stunt on Friday - how in the hell did she get into Noh? - just dragged Hazel to the edge of her temper. The meddling little wench. Why make the effort to be Gossip Girl's star subject, and not give a damn?

Sabotage. Hazel's fists clenched at the thought. The bitch was just trying to knock _her_ down. She took a deep breath: she needed to calm down, regroup and refocus. So what if Kei launched first? Hazel wasn't out of the competition yet.

Keep telling yourself that, darling…

Jenny winced as she read the fire in the girl's eyes. Things were not going to be pretty.

"Penelope," Hazel summoned. The brunette turned away from scanning the crowd to her friend. "I'm thinking of throwing a party." She faced her friend to begin planning. She was going to have to call Daddy, and have food and drink catered for, and draw up a guest list.

Boy, this was going to be good. They should have all waited a moment: they might have noticed who Kei nodded at.

* * *

Nate however did notice. Like the rest of the guys on the athletics team, he'd very happily watched Kei's arrival at the school gates. He wished Kei walked a little more like the rest of the girls he knew, sashaying into school as though the side walk was the catwalk. It was weird seeing her back in her uniform, in a modest skirt and shirt, her tie hanging loose as always. She looked better in that greenish dress she was wearing in that photo with Blair, all colourful with that eye make-up.

Ah, Blair. Not the best of thoughts on a Monday morning, Nate thought. That must have been who Kei was looking for as she scanned around her. Her eyes got a hit… Chuck.

Wait, Chuck?

Nate stood straighter when he realised that secretive smile was aimed at his former best friend. What? How did she know Chuck, she'd only been there barely a week and already…

Don't go there, man. He felt like slamming his fist into something when he saw Chuck smirk back. _What_? What the hell was going on there? He watched as Kei serenely drew her gaze away to keep looking and beamed when she saw Blair arrive. Chuck contemplatively watched the two girls greet each other with a 'hi' and a 'hey' before strolling calmly into school, as though the whole courtyard wasn't watching. Nate watched at Chuck smirked to himself once the girls were inside Constance Billiard and then went into St Judes.

The bastard had been waiting for them… Nate seethed. How the hell did…? What the hell was…?

What the hell?!

God, he needed a joint. No… class hadn't even started yet.

But where did Chuck get off? If he had already bugged the 'New Girl', how could he do something like that? Everyone knew he, Nate, had taken a liking to Kei, thanks to damn Gossip Girl. And how could he do that to Blair, sleep with her friend…

Yeah, he really needed that joint. He was sober enough to realise he was being a hypocrite.

That didn't stop another part of him mind from trying to work out how to talk to Kei…

* * *

Blair didn't notice Nate, other than in a collective sense. As she arrived she immediately became aware of everyone watching her. It painfully reminded her of the first day back after her fall, but this time… all were reassessing her, re-evaluating her, reconsidering her. The St Judes boys all seemed to unanimously approve of their new critique: Blair Waldorf hadn't been written off after all. As for the Constance Billiards girls, there wasn't much of general consensus: a mixture of alarm, reluctant admiration, confusion and scepticism, to name a few.

It was a good start.

She had noticed Hazel's little clique though. She had to put on her best poker face in order to not laugh at the jealous anger on Hazel's face, and the worry on Little J's. Kei had been right: going to Noh like that had lifted them to a higher playing field, and neither wanna-be blonde knew how to get into the game without copying. So she held her head high, kept walking towards her new friend, and they started the new week together like phoenixes.

She didn't need to question the looked shared between Kei and Chuck. Despite her neurotic streaks, she trusted Kei. She didn't know if she could say the same for Chuck…

Not that that would matter later in the week.

* * *

Miles Gardner had worked at the Palace bar for a good few years now. He was in his late forties, had two grown-up kids, both at college now. He and his wife led contented lives in Manhattan, happy together, high school sweethearts still. Gardner worked nights at the bar because it paid better than most places, and because the Palace bar tended to serve only a certain type of clientèle: business men, and socialites with reputations to keep, so there was rarely any trouble. In fact, the most troublesome client Gardner had ever served was the seventeen-year-old boy seated before him with a glass of scotch in his hand.

Eighteen. Eighteen-year-old now. It was seventeen-year-old last year. Sixteen the year before that. Fifteen before that. And fourteen the first time. Four years now. A long time.

Gardner wanted to feel guilty for serving a minor alcohol for so long, and so much, but the truth was it was hard to. The boy was his boss' son, and more importantly, he knew why the boy came, every year, on this particular day in early September, having heard the story four years ago.

It was Chuck Bass' birthday. Eighteen years ago he was born into the world, and his mother was taken from it.

And with a father like Bart Bass, Gardner couldn't blame the kid for drinking his grief away. Eighteen years was a long time to be bitter against someone you were meant to love without condition. And eighteen years is a long time to be brought up by someone who wished you'd never been born.

And so it was getting late, the boy's head had started to droop with coming unconsciousness, and had relinquished the right to refuse Gardner's help. So he did the same thing he did last year, and the year before, and the year before. He cared not for the boy's earlier slurred ramblings that this year the tradition would not hold. He cared not for the way the young woman always answered the phone when he rang, with reluctance, and irritation.

He cared not, because he had a feeling that she would come anyway with neither.

* * *

It wasn't until Chuck's fourteenth birthday that he properly admitted to himself why his father never attended his birthday celebrations. So he stopped throwing proper celebrations. He didn't have much to celebrate anyway. So he came to the Palace bar, every year, to drown his sorrows whilst never admitting that he had them. He didn't ask for sympathy, or pity, or understanding. He just wanted a damn drink. He was allowed a damn drink on his birthday.

But, even now, lost-counted drinks in, he wondered whether going to the Palace bar once again was such a good idea. Tradition is all good and well, but not this one any more. He knew that… he'd just been too tempted to see what would happen.

Fools love misery after all, wasn't that a saying?

It was still early, just after ten. Plenty of time to go before knowing it wasn't going to be him this year that broke tradition.

He downed his drink and ordered another. The corners of his mouth tilted with unsaid gratitude when Gardner made it a generous one. The guy kind of reminded Chuck of his own father, or rather, the father he'd wished Bart Bass could have been. He had no idea if Gardner was closer to his ideal version of fatherhood, not that that was hard, compared to Bart, but the bartender had always given a good impression. He never patronised Chuck, for a start. He'd never once said, 'I think you've had enough', or anything like that. He'd heard Chuck's story the first time. He knew the guy didn't need to hear it again.

He suddenly wished he still smoked. Why did he quit again?

_You do realise you taste revolting when you've been smoking, right? Not exactly a turn on, Bass…_

No… no, he didn't quit because of that. No.

Brain cells. Numb. Stopped being himself. Too much. Wasn't a good idea, too much.

That was why. Chuck Bass had always been a selfish bastard. At the end of the day, he did things for himself. It was just lucky if your interests coincided with his. And very unlucky when they conflicted.

Anyway. Tonight was not a night to get stoned. Drunk would do just fine.

Need another drink…

Gone. Another…

And another…

And another…

_I know those curls…_

* * *

Blair Cornelia Waldorf was awake. She'd been staring out the window in silence, listening to the faint sound of the New York mid-week late evening traffic, watching the lights of the Upper East Side. She'd been hugging her tiny figure in her midnight blue Diane von Furstenberg obi-belt wool dress, trying to deny that she was waiting for her phone to ring.

It was approaching ten thirty. The sun had set hours ago. If her mind wasn't so preoccupied, she'd be reading to get herself ready to try to go to sleep. She'd been sleeping better these days, with less storming around in her consciousness, and thundering in her subconscious. Tonight however, her mind was stuck in a memory. Or rather, four memories, but the first in particular, set four years back. The second was three years ago. The third two. The last was last year.

All to the day.

_Blair was pissed off. What was the point of going to the birthday party of her least favourite friend, when the birthday boy didn't even turn up? It looked like a soft porn video, even though she had no idea what any kind of porn looked like. And all the strippers were crowded around _her_ boyfriend, and he was loving it. Serena had turned up drunk off her face, and Georgina, the bloody skank, was high as a kite, and handing round E. E and some other things with other random initials._

Not_ Blair's scene. A quick and unexpected call however revealed Bass' location, and, after Nate showed no inclination of moving from his seat, she left and got a cab to the Palace._

_Chuck was the last person in the bar, staring into a glass of scotch as though really wondering whether it was such a good idea to empty it down his throat._

"_Bass, what the hell are you…" She trailed off._

_Chuck Bass, for the first time she'd ever seen, looked awful, really awful. This was not normal. Chuck Bass was never bothered about anything. And certainly never to this degree. He was like her: on the outside, they were impervious. No one saw them down. They were tougher than the world, they could take its knocks, not that the world would dare to knock them down. As long as they appeared like that, they _were_ that._

_They didn't get drunk in bars on their own, looking like their soul had just been evicted through the hole in their chest left over from when their heart was wrenched from them._

"_Chuck?"_

_The now fourteen year old lifted his head, slowly turning his gaze to her. He looked like the world had ended._

_Suddenly ranting about her drunk, and by now probably high, best friend and her idiot boyfriend didn't seem so important._

"_Bart's in LA. He won't be back until next week," Chuck said. His voice, usually so deep and dirty as sin, was tonight hollow. "So he wasn't able to attend dinner this evening."_

_Chuck didn't look at her as he spoke. He was looking at the floor, his shoes, his drink, the bar. Blair caught the bartender's eye, who nodded respectfully at her. No disapproval, no patronising, no pity. A rare bartender to serve a fourteen-year-old boy and let in a thirteen-year-old girl, but a perfect match nonetheless._

"_He's never going to forgive me." Blair frowned and turned back to her friend. "He's never going to forgive me for living when Mom didn't."_

_Then he turned back to his drink. She saw his mouth form a silent 'fuck it', and as he lifted the glass to his lips she grabbed it from his hand. When he turned to protest, she downed it herself. She put the empty glass on the bar with a satisfying clinking thud, sat down next to Chuck and gestured to the bartender to get two more drinks, not speaking to conceal the burning in her throat. It was the first time she tried scotch._

_Screw the party. Time to be a friend._

It became their tradition. He'd drink himself into a stupor, and when the bartender called she came and took him home. All off radar, and no one ever remembered it was Chuck's birthday. Maybe it was because he threw so many parties in the year, no one thought anything of it. Except Blair. She always remembered, the date scribbled down and hidden so she didn't forget. It was the one night she deliberately shut up for Chuck's sake. No matter what was going on with Serena, or Nate, or eventually her parents.

She never asked about his trouble either. That was at his discretion. If he wanted to say anything, that was up to him. Sometimes he did. A lot of the time he didn't. He alluded to it, knowing that she could see through him. Just like he could see through her.

She wondered why she was standing there, watching. Why she was waiting. Whether Gardner would call. Whether Chuck would want to uphold tradition. After all, they hadn't spoken properly in months.

_I don't want you…_

Then her cell phone rang.

And all she could do was stare at it. She stared in shock at the caller id. And found out that she'd kept and save the number of the Palace bar.

She let it ring, trying to decide. She wanted to cry when the call switched to voicemail, but the tears wouldn't come. For a start, she was wearing mascara, no matter how waterproof it said it was, she'd still get panda eyes.

Not an attractive look…

* * *

Gardner stared at the phone in his hand with mild surprise. Miss Waldorf hadn't answered. He put the phone down before the boy returned from the men's room, and wondered what else he could do now. He never needed to ask anyone else for help getting Chuck home.

Shit. He didn't have to call the boss, did he?

With that thought still reverberating in his head, the door opened.

* * *

Glossy brunette curls. Fingers stroking his head. His weight being adjusted to lean on soft wool covered skinny shoulder, readjusting to lean also on a bigger, firmer, white-shirted shoulder on his other side.

Oh god… he'd had way too much…

A taxi outside… dizzy… gum on the sidewalk… yuck… need to stop… air…

Hang on… Chuck Bass _does not_ travel in taxi cabs_._

"Shut up, Bass, and get in."

… _Blair…?_

* * *

"Is he alright?"

Blair looked up from kneading Chuck's temples on her lap to see the taxi driver staring at her with concern. Too worried about the upholstery. No wonder Bass liked his limo. Less of a problem if he threw up in it.

"He's fine, thank you." She answered haughtily. She wasn't interested in conversation right now.

She was sitting on the right side, with Chuck slumped on the seat, his head collapsed in her lap. His eyes seemed unseeing, his body limp, his forehead clammy. She cursed in her head long and hard that he'd gotten himself into this state, cursed that he was so foolish, cursed that she was there helping him once again. But it was all half-hearted, and cursed that too.

She ran her fingers through his hair, remembering how soft it was, a long time ago. She bent over him, checking to see if he was still awake. He was asleep, his face set in a frown. She sighed and leant back in her seat. After a couple of slow blocks of silence, she leant forward again to whisper in Chuck's ear, her hair falling forward.

"Bass?" No response. "I don't know if you can hear me, whether the scotch has clogged up yours ears, but…" Blair sighed. Gathered herself again. "Now's not the time to say certain things, if there's ever going to be a time, but…" She trailed off again. "Just… just stop doing this, Chuck. Stop drinking so much. Ok? Please…? This isn't going to do any good, and you know how much you hate it when I get to say 'I told you so'."

She pressed a kiss on his shoulder and leant back again, missing the flicker behind Chuck's eyes. He'd heard every word. He was just too far gone to properly register them, other than flickering deep in his mind that commanded him to remember her words in the morning.

* * *

Kei was sitting cross-legged on her bed in her pyjamas. She was waiting for youtube to buffer properly on her Dell laptop, feeling like a bit of loser: she was watching the storyline scenes of Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. Everyone has their guilty pleasures, she reassured herself. This was one of hers. Another was in the oven.

Her dad was working still. Business was good, which meant he was permanently busy. But he still found time to buy desiccated coconut for her.

The door buzzer went, making her finger pause on its way to clicking play. Getting up, she glanced at her cell phone. Just gone eleven pm. Who was calling round at this hour?

She smiled with delighted surprise when she saw Blair on the screen and buzzed her up immediately. She opened the apartment door and stood in the door frame, listening to the elevator whirl.

"What brings you by so late?" She asked amiably as Blair stepped out. It took her a split second after speaking to acknowledge Blair's features. She'd never seen Blair look so tired before. It was an alarming sight.

"You did say I could come any time…" Blair trailed off. She looked like she wanted to cry.

Kei stepped out of the way, welcoming Blair in, and gently shut the door behind them.

Blair looked over her surroundings. The apartment was like a bizarre blending of her penthouse with the Humphrey abode: the big, open plan kitchen was to the left with a sturdy pine staircase leading up above it to the storey above, the landing of which ran a good few feet over her head. To the right were two doors, one of which was open and lead to someone's bedroom. Past the kitchen was the sitting area, with creamy soft sofas around a widescreen tv. The window, which looked like it lead to a fire escape or a terrace, had a box like platform below it, like a mini stage. Everything was metal or wood or brickwork, and there were copies of Impressionist art on the walls. All good quality, and tasteful in its own right: the expense spoke through the workmanship, not the style. The Waldorf penthouse was fairy tale marble: a place dependent on its occupants' dispositions to make it home. The Katayama-Argen residence was warm and welcoming; it spoke of its residents personalities, rather than of their purses. No garage doors here, Blair thought to herself with a smirk at that particularly odd Thanksgiving.

The smell of baking merely added the icing on the cake.

"What's that smell?" Blair asked.

Kei chuckled. "Coconut buns. Ooh, bugger!" She dashed to the oven, peered through the glass, grabbed an oven glove and took out a tray of a dozen golden cupcakes. Kei settled the tray on a heatproof mat and gave the buns a sniff. "Ah, good, just right. Want one?"

Blair watched as Kei got two plates out of the cupboard. "Why not?" Kei grinned as she got a spoon and gently lifted a bun each on to their plates and passed one to Blair. She then sat down on a stool at the pine topped island and gestured for Blair to sit on the other side of the corner. She gently pried her coconut bun apart, hissing gently at how hot it was and smiled as steam rose out the soft, crumbly centre.

"Best wait for them to cool down a bit," she commented. Blair nodded absent-mindedly. "Blair?" She looked up. "What brought you here?"

Normally such a question would put Blair's back up, kick her into the defensive, no doubt with a retort about her host's welcoming manners. But Kei put it so gently that reaction didn't even get a spark. It was merely another way of asking 'what's wrong?', nothing else. It was so tender and caring, Blair nearly broke apart, the need to save face dissolving fast. She was safe in this place, with this friend. No need for pretence.

Not even half an hour before, she'd arrived at the Van der Woodsen-Bass household, enlisted the help of the unsurprised doorman, paid the taxi driver and struggled to get Chuck inside without making too much noise. Lily and Bart were nowhere to be found, thankfully, but Eric had heard them in the hallway, and besides, Chuck wasn't conscious enough to remember which door lead to his bedroom. Eric took it in his stride, helped Blair get Chuck into bed and fetched water from the cabinet, and agreed to not mention Blair's presence to anyone, not even Serena. He didn't know why, but Blair was surprisingly adamant. Blair herself wasn't sure why she had so insisted on it either. For all she knew, Gossip Girl might be reporting the evening's events any moment now.

Thankfully so far Gossip Girl had been quiet tonight, save for a sighting of Serena and Dan in Bendels. It was an amusing picture: Humphrey looked completely out of place and uncomfortable, whilst Serena was laughing like the sun itself at his expression. It was cute, like puppies or something. So completely gross to the likes of Blair, and 'icky' to Kei: evidently they were more cat people. But that was a conversation they'd have later, over the second coconut bun.

When everything was said, Blair was exhausted. Kei watched her for a moment, wondering if Blair's tears would come now, or if they would ever come. Then she stood up, walked the couple of steps over to Blair and put her arm round Blair's shoulders, pulling her in to an one-armed hug. Blair closed her eyes in gratitude, tucked her head into the crook of Kei's neck and hugged her back, grateful for the comfort. It went unsaid that Blair didn't need advise or kind words right then. She needed a safe haven. A place to just be. A place to recharge herself before facing the world again.

Kei knew Blair was tough. She was the same, both pillars of strength. But every now and then, they ran out of strength to stay standing, and would fall. But they didn't crumble, they just needed a hand to get back on their feet, and then they could make their own way. Hopefully, it would be the right way, but that was for them to find out.

_133: A person who does not know how to find the way to his__ ideal lives more frivolously and more impudently than a person with no ideal._

_

* * *

_A thousand apologies for the considerable delay of this chapter. Took a while to figure out how everything would fit together. Now that it's done though, if I may say so myself, I'm fairly pleased with it. I hope everyone reading agrees.

Many thanks to Gleechild for your help, I hope all is well with you, and to all those who review.

P.S.: A bit behind with episodes at the moment, finally managed to find Episode 8, need to find the latest episodes somewhere online.

Disclaimer: Gossip Girl and its characters sadly do not belong to me. Nor do the Friedrich Nietzsche quotes from 'Beyond Good and Evil'.

Take care all xx


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_86: Behind all their personal vanity women themselves always have their impersonal contempt for `woman'. _

Oh, God help us all…

Hazel was shrieking like a banshee, throwing a complete tantrum. Her laptop, thrown to the floor, was sadistically still working, still glaring with the light of Gossip Girl's website. The blog it was open at was Saturday morning's latest: Blair and Kei spotted at Heist last night, a very classy and exclusive bar in Manhattan, being bought cocktails by a pair of young heirs to two of New York's wealthiest families. There were a number of photos, of the four seated on leather sofas talking amiably, of them at the bar, one of the suits paying for a Cosmo and a Sea Breeze. Another was of the two girls posing with becoming smiles, clearly taken by one of the men on one of the girls' phones. They were both content and comfortable, neither looking flirtatious. Indeed, the last photo boasted was of the two girls getting in a taxi unaccompanied, the ride being paid for.

The whole thing was dressed up to look like the two girls were respectfully making connections; it helped that the two men were both Yale graduates, and that both girls looked modestly stunning, Blair in a black dress and Kei in black dress pants and black sparkly shirt: all form fitting, beautifully tailored silk. In the photos they seemed to perfectly compliment the men in their Armani suits: all high flyers in the Upper East Side club.

The bitches.

Still fuming, Hazel stomped to her en-suite and glared at the mirror. She grabbed her brush, furiously ran it through her hair. She cleansed, toned and moisturized her face, brushed her teeth, went through the motions. By the time she'd finished applying her make-up, she'd calmed down. She picked up her cell phone and shifted through her contacts list. She could never remember the order of her speed-dial list. And she didn't bother for Penelope to answer properly.

"Barneys, ASAP."

"Wha-?"

She hung up.

* * *

Kei had been waiting at JFK for a little while now. Her Starbucks tall signature hot chocolate with whipped cream to go (the cream stirred in with added chocolate powder) was finished already. The British Airways flight from London Heathrow was delayed: due to weather, no surprise there. And of course Passport Control and security took an era to get through.

Despite the announcements, trolleys with suitcases piled high, short tempers of weary travellers and the armed security guards – unnerving sight – Kei felt quite content. She was out of her school uniform for the weekend, and in her own clothes, things she'd have worn back in England without batting an eyelid. Her favourite navy boot-leg jeans – the Jane Norman ones, hugging her curves – and a cream three-quarter length sleeve shirt under a beige jacket made her feel normal. Her hair fell in its natural waves, curling as always under her chin. And she wasn't wearing even a drop of make-up, not giving a damn about the slight shadows under her eyes or the lurking spot on her chin.

Then, finally, her ears picked up a British accent. Cornish, by the sound of it. Then… North London. Welsh, South Wales probably. Northern, couldn't place that one exactly, but definitely Northern. Then a Southern one, Kent maybe. Essex, ugh. Even those from Essex had to admit that the accent was easily the most irritating in all of the British Isles. But then, she was a Sussex girl, naturally she'd be biased.

She was tapped on the shoulder.

"Awful, isn't it? Had to listen to them whinge from take-off 'til landing."

She spun around and burst out laughing in delight and threw her arms around Drake's neck, stretching to reach. He laughed back at her reaction, grinning like the happiest fool on the planet.

Two happy fools in a bear hug.

"Hey sis."

Kei grinned. It was like she'd never left home. "Hey bro."

He hugged her tighter, swaying her from side-to-side as the best of friends do, and finally let go of her when she squeaked in protest.

"Argh, come on, let's get out of here, all the guns are creeping me out." Drake said, looking around him with theatrical paranoia. She smiled. Ah, she'd missed his old humour.

"Welcome to the United States of America."

He picked up the holdall he'd dropped at his side to greet Kei, hefted it on to his shoulder and followed Kei to the taxi rank. Drake Newman wouldn't see the airport for a week. Ever since he'd booked the return flight it was far too soon.

* * *

Penelope found Hazel, bizarrely, in the lingerie section, browsing nightwear. They'd barely exchanged air-kisses before Hazel got to the point.

Not girls for small talk clearly.

"It's time to cement our positions in society." Hazel stated, returning her gaze to the Betsey Johnson Tricot Baby-doll nighty. It was pink with black lace, see through and utterly irresistible in bed. She should have worn this when she was dating her ex. Maybe they would have lasted longer. He did after all like her well enough without any clothes on at all. However, it wasn't entirely appropriate for what she currently had in mind. Maybe she'd get it later when it was needed.

"How?" Penelope asked, curious, pretending to admire Hazel's taste. Honestly, if Gossip Girl spotted them now…

Too late, Sweetie…

Back to the matter at hand: beneath the curiosity was the tone Hazel was pleased to hear: Penelope was game. She picked out a Cosabella Zara Chemise in zebra black. Nice enough, but wouldn't flatter her enough, nor its twin in pink.

"Party's on this Friday." She said simply.

"But -"

Preparations for the party that was meant to happen last night had fallen through. All the usual services required to host the most stylish party for the Upper East Side's teenage society were not available. Not because they were all fully booked – some had a few gaps for some of the weekdays – but because they were waiting, waiting for Blair Waldorf to make the sweet call requesting their every effort, efforts that were guaranteed to be directed so well that it would build the reputations of all involved. It was tradition for Blair Waldorf to throw the first major _successful_ event of the school season, traditionally in the first few weeks of term, traditionally the talk of the year, and so all schedules were being kept clear in anticipation. Never mind that Hazel had snottily expressed her doubts that Blair would be planning any social events this year: what did this stuck-up brat know? Blair Waldorf was renown as the Queen of youthful society and Princess to the higher society. A meteor would have to take out New York State before that changed.

Or just an update from Gossip Girl…

"Not that kind of party." Hazel injected bitterly. Another reason for her little explosion this morning: she'd had no fun last night, whilst Blair and Kei were climbing with ease. She needed to assert herself above them, and quickly too. She picked up a Calvin Klein black lace chemise. Hmmm, maybe… "A sleepover party."

Penelope slowly smiled, picking up the plan as the corners of her mouth reached high. "Like Blair used to do?"

Hazel turned back to the brunette with a matching, calculating smile. "Exactly." She resumed her search, chemise in hand to be considered and tried. "It's not like Blair's got enough people to invite for one, so someone ought to fill the gap in everyone's social calendars. Daddy can help me with the organising: he can't say no to a girly night in, can he?" She briefly let her imagination go, visualising it. "We can do cocktails, facials, manicures, pedicures, truth or dare, the works. With, of course, an exclusive guest list." She wandered past a row of tank tops and pants: too tomboyish for what she had in mind. "We need to alert Gossip Girl."

Penelope followed Hazel's line of thinking quickly. "Of course. She always loves a good sleepover party. Who are we going to invite?"

"Everyone who was there last year. With some exceptions naturally."

Penelope nodded. Then frowned. "And Jenny?"

Hazel frowned too. Good question. Little J had made last year's sleepover entertaining with her stunts, and she knew that something Jenny did that night caused Blair to accept her and take her seriously… even though as merely an errand girl. Inviting her would cement them against Blair, make her exclusion more prominent, but at what cost to Hazel herself? She couldn't have Jenny do a one-up on her, steal _Hazel's_ show.

"Let's see how she is at school this week, and then maybe invite her." Hazel decided. Her expression darkened with her next thought. "A lot can change in a week."

* * *

"'We want the finest wines available to humanity, and we want them here, and we want them now!'" Kei and Drake quoted in unison, accents make perfect by the Baileys, of which they took another gulp.

They were sitting on her bed, watching _Withnail & I_, drinking along with it. Obviously not drink for drink or indeed measure for measure, that would hospitalise someone with their alcohol tolerances combined. Two pizza boxes lay discarded on the bedside table containing leftover hickory steak, and barbequed chicken deep pan pizzas. They were drinking by quotes: if they thought a line was 'classic' then they took a good sip. So far they'd refilled their double-shot glasses twice. Or was it three times?

Oh well. Good times, good times.

"Mish this." Kei slurred contentedly, her head resting on his shoulder against the bed's headboard.

Drake burst out laugh. "Mish?"

Kei nodded assuredly. "Mish."

Drake nodded too. "Mish. Mish." He took another drink. Then he snuggled his own head on her shoulder. "Mished this 'oo."

She laughed and his head rolled off her shoulder into her lap, making her laugh harder as he giggled too.

They'd had just a little to drink after all.

Kei and Drake had been friends since their first days at school. They'd sat next to each other, played 'Stuck in the mud' in the playground and were always brother and sister in 'Families'. They walked home together with their mums, built pebble fortresses against the waves together on the beach, went round to each others houses for turkey dinosaurs and chips, and generally ran around like mad things together. In primary school they read together, learnt their timetables together, and in Year 5 starred as aliens from Pluto in the Christmas production (they'd been learning about Space that term, and so the production was about the Star of Bethlehem trying to find its place, and visited all the planets in the Solar System, the aliens of each planet doing an expressive dance for her. Pluto had robots pointing in different directions, dressed in black and grey with silver face paint). Secondary school: they survived cliques and puberty, generally leaping to each others defence against their bitchy classmates with equally bitchy retorts, and endured school trips to the World War I trenches and Blacklands farm where they got to run around playing War in the woods under the summer twilight. Sixth form college proved a more comfortable habitat, where they could debate in class and not look like nerds.

At four they'd competed on the swings to see who could swing the highest (with their mums' help). At six they shared their first kiss: a non-event that left them wondering what the fuss was about in Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. At ten they both agreed they should be friends forever and ever, because life would be too boring without each other. At fifteen in their last year of secondary school they nicked a bottle of sparkling wine from his mum's Christmas party, got drunk in the garden as it started to snow and discussed puberty with varying degrees of maturity.

"I'm bored, Kei."

Kei looked up from her dazed stare at 'I' trying to fight off Monty's approaches. "Of the film?" It was possible; they'd seen it so many times already.

"No."

Kei's eyes blinked with sudden attentiveness, gaining some clarity through the Baileys.

"Of home." Drake said. He was talking into thin air, staring at nothing. They both did that a lot: if they met each others eyes, they knew something was off. When they confided in each other, they were often confiding to themselves too, testing the truth of what they were expressing. "And of school." He shifted on her lap. "I never really noticed just how weird my parents are. I know they have their ups and downs, but I never thought they were… well, messed up, before." He took a sip. "Mum's still disappointed that you won't be popping out my babies in the next ten years, or any time in our lives at all."

It had always been a bit of a joke to them; the fact that Drake's mother thought they'd up falling in love and being soul mates, getting married, giving her grandchildren, the whole shebang. It seemed the humour had run out.

"It's weird being in class on my own. Everyone's alright, or at least, they were after I told them you weren't coming back. God, I hate pity," he added bitterly. "The only class that's still fun is Philosophy, arguing against Nigel's arguments for why he should be allowed to grind up babies' arms."

Kei chuckled. That was a fun class. No teacher was as odd or as brilliant as Nigel.

"I swear Mum is trying to find me a girlfriend. All summer she dragged me up and down the country for garden parties and she always pushed me in the nearest teenage girl's direction. One time," he laughed as the memory came to him, "one time, she sent me off to get punch and she asked the host – old guy everyone calls Batty, no idea why or what his real name is – she asked him if there was anyone my age to 'hang out with', yes her words." Kei laughed at the mental image. Drake's mum always sounded odd when she used modern phrases. "Anyway, Batty starts telling her about so-and-so's sons who are such-and-such ages, and she asks in her typical timid voice, 'any pretty _girls_?'" He mimicked his mum's high pitched voice perfectly. "Batty took one look at me, smiled as if in recognition though I'd never met him before in my life, put his arm round my shoulders and told my mum, very very seriously, that he'd take good care of me. He then introduced me to his boyfriend and they spent the rest of the party telling me about all their wild escapades during their long affair that spans the decades. And of course, they kept the wine flowing."

Kei grinned. Must have been a great party. The grin faded; she wished she'd been there. Such serious thoughts sobered her, and life gloated over her.

"Drake?"

"Hmmm?" He was staring at the ceiling, still half in summer memories. When he registered the sadness in her voice he turned his head to her, and was shocked to find her eyes brimming with tears. Tears that had been waiting a long time to be shed.

"I didn't want to go…"

Hearing her voice break sobered Drake instantly. He sat up and pulled her into a hug as her tears started to stream down her face. "I wanted to stay in Brighty, I didn't want to lose you… but Dad was so… he was so unhappy at home, he wanted to move away so much… I…"

"I know," Drake murmured into her hair as he held her. "I know. Really. You couldn't refuse."

Kei hiccupped quietly into his shoulder and nodded. He rocked her gently to soothe her. "But all the same," he said quietly, "I'm a selfish bastard, and I wish you hadn't." He felt her sigh, all the tension leaving her body. She sniffed and pulled back, nodding. The nod was for many things: acknowledgement, understanding, agreement, even an apology. He cleaned up her face with his thumbs, his movements uncoordinated; the still-strong affect of the alcohol.

"So." Drake started. Kei sniffed one last time, tears drying, red face blotchy. "What's it like in the Big Apple that never sleeps?"

Kei smiled. She needed a good change of topic. "It's alright. Weird, but alright. I wish it wasn't so polluted, you can really tell the difference. And I kinda feel like I have to walk differently here too. You can't just stroll around here, you have to… strut." Drake nodded, intrigued. "And dear lord, some of the girls at my school!"

Drake laughed. "Bitches?"

"Oh yeah." The colour in Kei's face started to return to its normal tone. "They're the damn richest kids in this city and spoilt brats, every last one of them. Snobbery is an Olympic sport here." He laughed again. "It's almost completely ridiculous: they all wear thousands of dollars of designer ware, they know it, they're proud of it, and they act like it gives them the infallible right to treat everyone else like sub-humans."

Drake grimaced. And he though the cliques from secondary school were bad. "What about the boys at the brother school?"

Kei shrugged. "They're boys: mixture of hormones, cologne and Armani. Oh, and dope."

"Ah, so about half an operating brain cell amongst them?"

Kei nodded. She suddenly giggled. "Gotta love being bitchy."

Drake laughed out loud. Good point.

You have no idea…

Kei's face lit up. "Ooh and you haven't seen the best bit!" She grabbed her laptop and turned it on, waiting for it to boot up. "I haven't told you about Gossip Girl."

"Who?" Drake wasn't sure he'd heard her correctly.

"Gossip Girl. 'Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite'." Kei quoted, smirking. Drake raised an eyebrow. _What…?_ She signed on, her fingers like lightening over the keys, and her laptop quickly responded. "It's this anonymous blogger. She – or indeed maybe he, no one knows – sends updates to every student at Constance Billiard and St Judes, updates on the whereabouts and activities of the most popular kids at school."

She quickly got Gossip Girl's home page up and showed it to Drake. Along with some short sightings of Serena and Dan feeding the ducks in Central Park and Nate smoking on his favourite bench, the main update was of last nights events.

**Good morning Upper East Siders, how are the hangovers? I hear traffic control are missing a few traffic cones this morning, perhaps someone should let them know they've been relocated to Park Avenue, scene of a certain Unity senior's party. Best make sure the Ivies don't see some of these photos; they wouldn't be too impressed with the effects of several kegs of beer.**

**If you were looking for true class last night, you should have been in **_**Heist**_** with B and K. Do I spy Masters Hertzog and Trent, recent Yale graduates and the latest hot shots for their families' businesses? Kerr-ching! And do I spy them picking up the tab for our two girls' cocktails? Definitely no traffic cones in sight there, or anything else unseemly either: good girls B and K got a free cab ride home alone.**

**Think you two could send me their numbers?**

**You know you love me,**

**XOXO Gossip Girl**

Drake blinked a couple of times when he finished reading. He looked up at Kei, silently asking whether this was a joke or not. She nodded: this was real. He turned back to the blog.

"Huh."

Kei chuckled. Good response.

"I honestly have no idea what to say to that." Drake said, vaguely bemused. Then a light bulb went on. "_Did_ you get their numbers?"

Kei laughed. "Yeah, why? Want their numbers too?"

Drake glanced back at the photos of the two twenty-something year olds. He smirked back at her. "Wouldn't say no."

She laughed again. "They were alright. Mostly they talked about Yale, Blair wants to go there."

To put it mildly.

"Blair?"

Kei nodded at the screen. "'B'."

Drake studied the photos of the brunette. "Beautiful girl. She nice?"

Kei raised an eyebrow with amusement. "I definitely wouldn't use 'nice' to describe Blair." She chuckled. "I like her. She's got character. An original girl, a rarity at Constance." Kei smiled in thought, at the same time giving Drake a signalling look.

Originality was a concept that Kei and Drake had discussed once when they were at their most thoughtful on a walk on the windy South Downs near their hometown. For them, originality had little to do with being unique, or of being new and never seen before. For them, it was about self-determination. Both of them considered themselves to be, more or less, original in themselves: they were who they were because of who they were. The world in general and in its particulars could try to influence them all it liked, but it was ultimately up to them whether they were affected by such influences. In the case of Kei, she was very much her parents' daughter because she chose to be so: she saw the traits of her parents that she liked and thus adopted them, and cast off what she felt did not fit in with her. In Drake's case, there was little of his parents: he was neither distant like his father nor meddlesome like his mother, but he had his mother's faith in principles and his father's liberality. They had their flaws, of which they were not ignorant: Drake was almost painfully shy sometimes, and Kei was aggressively defensive, but they were comfortable in their skins because their skins were tailored to fit.

From Kei's observation, Blair, in her ways, shared that same trait. Blair was a girl bursting with ambition, ambitions she'd chosen for herself. She was clearly quite content to be the next successful Waldorf: partly because that was what was expected of her, but mostly because that was what she wanted too, for herself. She wanted to go to Yale because _she_ wanted to go to Yale, not just because her father had done the same. She had once wanted Nate because _she_ wanted Nate, she'd loved Nate. Everything in her life that she had attained herself was for herself, seasoned with defiance, and the desire for approval and affection. Even under the shadow of fabulous Serena, she'd never actually wanted to _be_ Serena; she'd just wanted to be out of the shadow.

Sadly, Kei could see that this spirit was bubbling somewhere deep, grown weak but not dying. And yet still, Blair was still very much herself, affected by what she chose to be affected by, even when she chose to deny it. She hadn't become anyone else after her fall from grace, and for that Kei absolutely believed that Blair was like her: none of them changed _for_ anyone.

"She intrigues me," Kei continued. "I think she's been lonely for a very long time, much longer than she'd like to admit, I reckon. And she's good company, she makes me laugh: we both have bitchy humour. Rest of the girls are either too conceited, too far up their own arses – or asses as they'd say – or just not my cup of tea."

Kei suddenly smiled, an idea popping up in her head. "You should meet her; see what you think for yourself."

Drake nodded, smiling with honest enthusiasm. "When?"

"Tomorrow? I promised I'd help Dad in the afternoon, you could meet her for lunch if you like, if she's free."

Drake gave it a moment of consideration. "Ok, sounds good."

Kei reached for her phone, and then raised an eyebrow. "Behave."

Drake grinned and raised his hands in acknowledgement. "Ok, ok." He then gave a salute: half teasing and half respectful. The unspoken rule of their friendship: no sabotage.

* * *

Sunday mid-day: Blair cast her eyes over the intricate lettering carved into the dark wood doors of the restaurant: The Silver Sakura. Japanese lettering – she guessed the name of the restaurant – was carved vertically next to the metal handle, whilst a cherry blossom tree was carved reaching over the left door, its flowers raining into the right. It was beautiful: all in silver into the mahogany. To the right spanned floor to ceiling glass windows to display the interior: classy, well-lit, and above all welcoming. It was modern, stylish and oozed quality: a restaurant that wouldn't mind tourists provided they came with credit cards and good manners. Blair had already visited the place with her mother when she returned from France, but she'd been too tired to notice her surroundings; her mind was still across the Atlantic, it felt. The only thing she could remember was that she'd had no complaints about anything, and she had been in a mood where if there was something to complain about she would have done, just so she could feel like she was in New York again.

Now, Blair could see why Kei had asked her to come: somehow it was very Kei.

She entered, and quickly realised how true that statement was.

Firstly, the restaurant: it was a conveyer belt style establishment, with tall dark wood stools – most of which were taken – lined up along the belt passing in front, with tables for four still in reach at the back. The belt circled round about half a dozen chefs hard at work in black Japanese uniforms emblazoned with the restaurant's logo: the silver blossom tree leaning over the name. Blair couldn't help noticing that under their black silver-lined hats, all the chefs were smiling, clearly enjoying their work, communicating with each other with only the stress of timing. Under the noise of the extractor fans for all the steam there was friendly order without losing the pace of the typical chaotic kitchen. It was a big place, tastefully decorated with contrasting bright walls with dark wood, very little colour. Blair counted four waiters in the room, two serving around the room, one relaying orders to the chefs and the fourth talking to the manager; a white middle-aged man in a smart kimono, all in black and silver. The girl talking to the manager had her hair twisted up with a lacquer chopstick, and Blair recognised her even before she turned to attend her.

"Waldorf, glad you could make it."

Blair was thrown back to the waiting room for Ms. Queller's office, listening to the Foo Fighters on the morning of the first day, wondering why the new girl looked familiar… and then she was thrown back even further, to the night before that, slowly eating sushi whilst her mother talked on and on to some agent in Paris… and a waitress her age with faint Japanese features serving them Pellegrino, her darting glance at Eleanor making a quiet, easily missed comment: talk to your daughter instead.

"Oh my god…"

Kei tried to suppress a grin, a smirk, a mixture of the two. Then, as Blair's astonished expression remained, her head tilted in thought as she slowly read Blair's mind. She chuckled silently and then, with the manners of a very-well trained waitress, she gestured Blair to follow her. "Let me show you to your seat, there's someone I'd like you to meet."

With that Blair's surprise was replaced with curiosity and she quickly followed Kei down the long line of mostly filled seats. As Kei slowed halfway down, near the seats in front of the ramen chef, Blair spotted who she was being led to and her curiosity was replaced with a single thought: _whoa_.

"Drake, meet Blair Waldorf," Kei began, "Blair, this is my best friend from England, Drake Newman."

Blair could think of only one word to sum up a description of Drake: hot. This was surprising for a conservative girl from a conservative world. The boy – if 'boy' was the right word – was all blue. His hair was dyed navy blue, its natural brown showing for about an inch from the roots, and styled in random spikes. His angular, chiselled features gave way to a softer cheeky smile, his sapphire blue eyes sparkling with teenage glee. His skin was lightly tanned but fading – much like Kei, like he'd gone somewhere hot during the summer, and he had shadows under his eyes, like he needed a little more sleep – jetlag, Blair guessed – or was a little hung-over. He had a lanky build, like someone who was healthy and took care of himself but wasn't interested in toning, and when he stood up to shake Blair's hand he stood a head taller than the two girls. He was wearing dark jeans, sneakers, and a dark blue t-shirt with 'Hug Therapy' across the chest in big bold letters, and beneath were two cartoon polar bears, the one on the left bowing to the other asking 'may I have this hug?'.

He looked a bit like Robert Pattinson, that British actor who played Edward Cullen in Twilight. Except blue, peachy-skinned and with shorter, less messy hair.

"Kei's Christmas present last year," Drake explained, noting Blair's bemused expression at the t-shirt. His accent was identical to Kei's, though his voice was softer. "I'm afraid you'll have to ask her why she bought it."

"I didn't buy it; I made it, ungrateful sod." She responded teasingly. She turned to Blair, her manners switching immediately to professional. "Blair, can I get you something to drink? Green tea, miso soup, sparkling water, saké…?"

Blair gave her order and watched with faint alarm as Kei turned on her heels and headed towards the drinks cabinet at the far end of the room. Drake smiled shyly and gestured to the stool next to him. Once she was seated, her Burberry coat taken to be hung up in the cloakroom after Kei brought a pot of tea, a bowl of hot, fragrant miso soup and a bottle of mineral water, the awkwardness sunk in. She wondered who was meant to be company to whom.

"Now, Blair," Drake said suddenly, interrupting the short silence. "You must try the ramen, it's absolutely superb."

And they were off.

* * *

Drake Newman, Blair was discovering, was an odd guy. He had all the vibes of someone who was shy, yet had eagerly contributed to their conversation. He'd talked a lot about home and how different it was to New York City: it was mind-boggling how big the city was to him. Back in Brighton, Drake and Kei's home town, it took only a quarter of an hour or so to drive out of the city into the countryside: for Blair it would take closer to a matter of hours to leave the skyscrapers behind. He also talked a lot about Kei, with pride and deep affection. Blair kept looking for signs that they were a couple; whenever Kei came over to them when there was a brief lull in restaurant activity it was like the two were joined at the hip; there were no boundaries between them. Yet there was no possessiveness, no claiming of each other that one saw in boyfriends and girlfriends, and they didn't look at each other the right way. At one point they had a staring competition, forehead-to-forehead, which Kei won with ease, earning a promised piggy-back ride next time she needed one. They were so close, so comfortable together; Blair had never seen nor felt anything like it: her closest friend was Serena, and she'd spent most of their friendship feeling jealous of her. With Kei and Drake there was no sign of such jealousy, probably because what one of them had they shared with the other.

After small bowls of chicken ramen, teriyaki salmon, fresh tuna sashimi, duck temaki, octopus nigiri, king prawn tempura, tofu, lychees and all numbers of fish, sushi, noodles and rice, Blair finally asked Kei after ducking into the ladies' room.

Kei had just chuckled. "Drake's my best friend, he's like my brother. Besides, I'm not his _type_."

Oh… that made a lot of sense somehow. The way Drake looked at Kei, the way he talked to Blair with his attention on her face for her expressions, the way he'd quietly admired the ramen chef – a half-Korean twenty-something year old guy with a comedian's face – at work, the way his eyes didn't flicker back and forth over her body in a Theory navy shirtdress or over Kei's low buttoned black silver-lined shirt, and the fact that she had a feeling that she'd look like an idiot if she flirted with him.

Thank God for self-preservation.

"By the way, I wanted to ask," Kei began, a calculating grin spreading across her face. "Feel like throwing a party on Friday?"

_31: The trodden worm curls up. This testifies to its caution. It thus reduces its chances of being trodden on again. In the language of morality: Humility._

_

* * *

_I can't believe it's taken me so long to update... I'm so sorry guys :-S

I hope you all liked Drake. Blue, by the way, is my favourite colour; I wanted him to look different from everyone else.

Now, disclaimers: obviously Gossip Girl doesn't belong to me, nor does the top Friedrich Nietzsche quote from 'Beyond Good and Evil', nor the bottom one, which is from Twilight of the Idols. They both didn't come from the usual tranlations I use, but I couldn't find out who to credit for that. Either way, you get the gist of it: not mine. Also, the names Hertzog and Trent came from Meg Cabot's books 'Boy Meets Girl' and 'The Guy Next Door' respectively. The bar Heist is actually a bar in Brighton on West Street: the entrance is kind if gothiky, while the inside is more modern; quite expensive place. And of course the 'best wines available to humanity' quote came from 'Withnail & I', brilliant film. I think that's it, hope I haven't forgotten anything...

Please read and review! Hope you're all well xx


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

_106: Through music, even our passions can enjoy themselves.

* * *

I'm not lovin' you the way I wanted to_

_What I had to do, had to run from you_

_I'm in love with you, but the vibe is wrong_

_And that haunted me all the way home...

* * *

_**Good morning, Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here: your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. Today it is my great pleasure to announce not one, but two parties for this coming Friday.**

**First is H's pyjama party. For those included on the exclusive guest list, expect cocktails and facials, and hopefully some juicy and illuminating rounds of Truth or Dare to gossip over on Saturday morning.**

**Last but **_**definitely**_** not least, the event we've all been waiting for: K's first house party. The theme is **_**Red Hot**_**, and on behalf of K and her co-host B, I invite you all to the penthouse apartment on the top floor above The Silver Sakura on Madison. I've been reliably informed that there will be never-ending punch, great party tunes to last the night, and best of all: me.**

**Consider this my RSVP, girls, I'll be there; with you both at the helm, you won't need any extra good luck.**

**SPOTTED: H in Barneys with P, picking out nighties. Interesting taste for a pyjama party, will there be any Ann Summers ware too?**

**And K getting a piggy-back ride to school by… OMFG, a blue-haired drop dead gorgeous hottie! Can this girl do no wrong? N, you've got some **_**serious**_** competition…**

_

* * *

So you never know, never never know_

_Never know enough, 'til it's over, love_

_'Til you lose control, system overload_

_Screaming "no, no, no, n-no!"_

* * *

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Every Gossip Girl update had been a countdown to the parties, and provided as many attractive shots of Drake as possible. Kei had been in fits of laughter every time she saw one, whilst Drake cringed in embarrassment. He couldn't help wondering how real celebrities could stand the public glare in their lives. As always, the Beckhams' life style remained an enigma to him. Nevertheless, it didn't frighten him out of accompanying Kei to school every morning of his stay, departing when the first school bell rang with a wave and a hug, equipped with a map, a wallet full of American dollars, and a camera.

By the end of the day on Monday, he vowed to not take the subway any more than he had to, and by the end of Tuesday, he'd seen all the typical tourist sights: the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, and the Metropolitan Museum, et cetera. Wednesday: he, Kei, Blair, Serena, and Dan revisited the Impressionist wing of the Met. Art had always been something Drake and Kei enjoyed together, along with good movies and TV, but they enjoyed it in silence, without discussion. They both knew that they knew nothing about art, and so their appreciation of it was measured by how much time they dedicated to each piece, and they very rarely stood before the same piece for the same amount of time. Thursday: Drake was in Central Park writing postcards, wandering around, and reading a book in the sun. When school finished he was given an unexpected request...

**SPOTTED: K, B and Blue Hottie in the Men's department in Barneys, looking at crimson shirts. Looking for something to wear to **_**Red Hot**_** tomorrow? Don't worry about the shirt…**

The rest of Thursday he spent with Kei making chocolate trifle: a gorgeous mess of dark rum-soaked double-chocolate muffins and morello cherries, home-made chocolate custard with mascarpone, and topped with whipped cream – and watched _Finding Nemo_ and _The Lion King_.

Thus he made sure the tissues were within reach.

_

* * *

I'm not lovin' you the way I wanted to_

_See I want to move but can't escape from you_

_So I keep it low, keep a secret code_

_So everybody else don't have to know..._

* * *

On Monday morning, when Gossip Girl's upcoming events announcement went out, Chuck had merely smirked at its contents. As if we would expect him to do anything else. For a start, Hazel was no Blair; pyjama party indeed. Second, the title of Kei's theme was perfect: sexy, teasing, and by description informal and welcoming. And third, Gossip Girl might have been drooling, but Kei definitely wasn't: in every photo of her and her blue-haired friend, even the first one of him carrying her on his back to school, they looked more like brother and sister than anything else.

Not only that, Kei's plan was definitely in motion. And so, he waited: ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one…

A minute passed after that, and then his phone rang.

"Miss Argen, how may I help you?"

"Good sir," Kei teased back, exaggerating her British accent, "I believe you very kindly offered me your assistance with any plans I might be concocting. As you've no doubt by now found out, I have one nicely stewing, and I'd like to accept your offer with the serving of it."

He chuckled. He'd had long, strung out versions of 'can you give me a hand' before, but none had been delivered so fluently.

"How can I help, Argen?"

"Drinks recommendations, and potential decorating on Friday. A _Red Hot _party, after all, should be red hot."

He couldn't agree more. "What do you propose?"

_

* * *

So keep your love locked down, your love locked down_

_Keepin' your love locked down, your love locked down_

_I keep your love locked down, your love locked down_

_I keep your love locked down, you lose..._

* * *

"You're kidding, right?"

It was Wednesday. They were staring at various different Monet works. At least, they were, until Blair brought up the interesting question of 'what are you going to wear for the party?'. She then followed that with 'my mother's made some designs for us'.

Hence Kei's small, appalled outburst that attracted a great number of stares for the tourists around them.

"Sadly, no, I'm not kidding," Blair said, returning her gaze to _The Houses of Parliament in Fog_. She hadn't been happy about it either: she'd seen the designs, and hot they were not.

"No offence to your mum, Blair, but I'm glad I already know what I'm wearing."

Blair looked over at her. "Oh?" She said, her tone heavy with curiosity.

Kei grinned teasingly. "You'll see on the day. Actually, come round early, get ready at mine, and we can eat sushi before the party kicks off, do a little pre-drinking!"

Blair giggled with her, finally feeling a bit of the pre-party spirit.

_

* * *

I'm not lovin' you the way I wanted to_

_I can't keep it cool, so I keep it true_

_I've got something to lose, so I gotta move_

_I can't keep myself, and still keep you too..._

* * *

"_By the way, I wanted to ask," Kei began, a calculating grin spreading across her face. "Feel like throwing a party on Friday?"_

_Blair paused, a perfectly fresh and succulent tuna sashimi dipped in soy sauce hanging from her chopsticks._ _An interesting proposition._

"_What kind of party?"_

_Kei and Drake exchanged a glance. "A house party, at my place upstairs."_

_Blair delicately placed the tuna in her mouth before it fell into her lap and chewed thoughtfully. "Would your parents mind?"_

"_No, we asked Paul already, he says it's fine. Kei and I were always good with parties, back in Brighty we sometimes had more fun tidying up after. Drunken tidying is more amusing than you'd expect." Drake said. Blair took a moment to reply: she was sure she saw Kei freeze for a split second. Blair quickly realised her faux-pas, and wondered where it came from: she didn't know that many Manhattan socialites who were with the partner with whom they'd spawned their children, so why did she say parents plural?_

_Suddenly she realised she really didn't know that many details about Kei's life, despite the honesty in the girl's personality._

"_You don't want me to book a venue or something?"_

"_Oh, no." Kei said, shaking her head. "I'm thinking informal will do us better than formal. No ball gowns, no need for fancy invitations that let you in through the door. We're seventeen/eighteen year olds, so let's get some drink in, be friendly, put on some good tunes, and have a party where everyone will say they enjoyed themselves rather than so-and-so wore the same dress, or where everyone's competing for attention and approval. We don't need that, so let's not ask for it. Simple."_

_Blair was about to disagree, but then it hit her. Yes, it was simple. Which is why it would work. It made absolute sense with everything that they'd been doing since the beginning of senior year: creating a new image, a new identity. Old Blair would have thrown a party requiring big ball rooms, catering, and clothing and accessories that exceeded a thousand dollars on every individual's back. Old Blair was the Queen of the Ball: she vetoed the guest list, and her guest list decided who was who in the Upper East Side's most fashionable crowd. New Blair was no longer part of that: New Blair went out and danced in clubs, spent her lunch breaks in art museums, and hung out with her friends. New Blair was nearly eighteen, in her last year of high school, had a future before her, and the present was about having a good time._

_And that was the aim of Kei's party: to have a good time._

"_Yes." Blair looked up from the conveyor belt, where her eyes had drifted to as she thought, and saw Kei and Drake's happy faces. "It's a great idea, let's do it. What can I do?"_

_Kei smiled. "Just be yourself." Blair smiled back. She hadn't heard that spoken so honestly and confidently in a while. "I'm… err… going to ask Chuck Bass to do all the grunt work."_

_Blair's smile vanished so quickly it was as though she hadn't smiled at all in the first place. "_What_?"_

_For a moment, Drake actually looked genuinely scared. Even Kei looked vaguely impressed upon: it had been a little while since she'd seen Blair look like this, except last time it had been directed at Hazel. Now she had a very good idea of what Blair must have been like in her glory days._

_She should bring up Chuck Bass more often then, Kei couldn't help thinking. The boy was a definite mask breaker.  
_

"_He can help," Kei said, unaffected by the cold fury radiating out of Blair's body. "I'll deal with him; I'm not that insensitive." Suddenly she desperately wanted to laugh out loud: she could sense Drake minutely shrivel up in his seat, waiting for Blair to explode with… well, the great mixture of emotions that had bubbled up to the surface so suddenly._

_Blair took a deep breath, and then another. She could handle this; she could handle Bass. She had, after all, made sure he got home safe on his birthday a week or so ago. She could handle Bass sober and doing one of the many things he did best: organising a party. Her party. With her new friend. Her god-damn party… calm._

_She let herself deflate. This was not going to get the best of her. It would be okay: she could carry on ignoring him as much as possible. Kei had just offered to talk to him herself anyway. And if he came to the party, which was – if it turned out to be a good party – quite likely, then she could ignore him then as well. Surely there would be some way of making sure their paths never crossed any more than they needed to. It would all be well._

_Good luck, dear._

_

* * *

So I keep in mind, when I'm on my own_

_Somewhere far from home in the danger zone_

_How many times did I tell you for it finally got through_

_You lose, you lose..._

* * *

Avoiding Chuck turned out to be fairly easy. On Tuesday after school Chuck paid a visit to the Katayama-Argen residence, miraculously without being spotted and reported to Gossip Girl. After being shown round by a bemused Kei, he knew precisely what the place needed for her party. After finishing describing his lavish ideas, Kei and Drake had nearly choked whilst laughing: their tastes clearly did not match a great deal. After declining his offer to replace the furniture with antique Victorian styles and hire his Victrola dancers to perform on the landing, they finally agreed on - or rather, Kei had insisted on - red throws for the couches, red drapes to streak the brick walls, red lights, and none of the performers at Victrola. She did, however, agree to let him mix the punch.

To Blair's partial relief, Kei was pretty up front about this. She was, in a way, grateful that Kei didn't tiptoe around her feelings, that she was prepared to dish out awkward or painful truths because they were better laid out in the open than hidden in the shadows. She hated it when people presumed to think that they knew what was best for her better than she did, and she hated it when people used that as an excuse for not telling the truth. Blair could never be accused of being naive: of being in denial, however, is a different story.

Friday finally came, and Blair was more nervous than she'd ever been before a party. The days when she could naturally assume that people would show up were gone: what if this time no one came? No matter how many times she told herself that Gossip Girl herself - if indeed it was a 'she' - was officially coming, that people would come out of sheer curiosity, to see the New Girl's place and see how well she threw a house party, she couldn't make the insecurity go away. She'd spent far too much time wallowing at the bottom of the social ladder without the ambition to climb back up. Truth was, she still wasn't sure if that's what she wanted to do even now. Despite the fact that she desperately wanted to avoid her ex-lovers still, and despite the fact that Hazel was still a scheming bitch after being knocked down a peg or two, she had been relatively content. She had her best friend, Serena, and now Kei: real friendship was a hell of a lot better than social worship.

Sure, she still wished for a lot of other things, but then, she didn't even have those in her glory days... She wished her mom would act like a proper mother, she wished she was more comfortable in her own body, and she wished... She wished that a lot of things that had happened hadn't. But they had, and she had to live with that. Denial, in the end, hadn't been an option, or at least not one that she'd chosen.

She didn't deserve denial.

_

* * *

I'm not lovin' you the way I wanted to_

_See I have to go, see I had to move_

_No more wastin' time, you can't wait for life_

_We're just wasting time, where's the finish line?_

* * *

As Blair's taxi pulled up outside The Silver Sakura at precisely five pm, she paid the driver and exited the cab, handling her dress in its bag with care. It was one of her mother's designs, but as she'd had a say in its creation, it was, for once, properly flattering. It would definitely fit the bill for _Red Hot_. Kei let her in, and she rode the elevator trying to suppress the nervous bats in her stomach. _Please let Bass not be there_...

The elevator ground to a halt, and as the doors slid open, Kei opened the apartment door to let her in. She was in a silk Japanese dressing gown, her hair damp and messy from the towel she was using to dry it.

"Hey, come on in." Kei smiled, and the bats finally flew out into the night. It barely mattered if no one came: Serena, Dan and Eric were coming, Drake would be there: if it didn't turn out to be a party, it would at least be a nice gathering.

But when she went in, that thought too was quickly forgotten. She had to admit, Bass did a good decorating job. There was red lighting everywhere, the dark red drapes created brilliant banners on the walls, there were a few glowing candles dotted around, and the kitchen island was absolutely covered with drinks: beers, spirits, mixers: it looked like Bass had moved Victrola's stock for one night to Kei's kitchen. On the kitchen counter were bags of chips, tortillas, breadsticks, popcorn, pots of dips. All that appeared to be missing was...

"Where's the punch?" Blair asked.

"Chuck's promised to turn up later to mix it, just before the party's meant to start. That mean he's likely to be on time, or fashionably late?" Kei replied.

"It's Bass," Blair said in a low voice. "Who knows?"

Kei laughed and led the way to her bedroom, closing the door behind them.

Blair couldn't help but immediately like Kei's room: it was designed purely for comfort. The walls were deep blue, the white cotton duvet cover on the queen-sized bed was luxuriously soft when Blair sat down on it, and a cosy stuffed dog was sitting grinning at them from the pillows. The big window looked out over the city, the sun - already on its descent for the night - winking through the wood blinds, and on either side of the bed were shelves mounted on the wall, full of books and DVDs, spaced out by framed photos. Opposite was a pine desk, on top of which sat Kei's laptop and plug-in speakers, and above was a very large framed print of _The Great Wave off Kanagawa_, surrounded by other less known traditional Japanese art: castles, temples, flowers, cherry blossom trees, women in beautiful kimono, birds, gardens. There were stills from Kurosawa films, anime films, even the latest Japanese video games. The wall was effectively a collage of Kei's inheritance: it looked like a work of art itself.

"So, what do you think?"

Blair turned. Held up before her was Kei's choice of what to wear. She ran her eyes over it, an impressed smile growing rapidly over her face. They were both going to look perfect tonight.

"Red hot."

Kei grinned. That _was_ the idea after all.

_

* * *

So keep your love locked down, your love locked down_

_Keepin' your love locked down, your love locked down_

_I keep your love locked down, your love locked down_

_I keep your love locked down, you lose..._

* * *

Jenny had a dilemma. It was the first time in her life that she had had this particular dilemma, and it was a particularly pressing one. It could make a great difference to her situation, the consequences of her choice, but it was a tricky decision. She'd even flipped a coin: miraculously, and incredibly annoyingly, it had landed on its edge.

Hazel's pyjama party, to which she had been given a formal invitation only yesterday by Penelope per Hazel's instructions, or Kei's house party: which one should she go to?

Jenny knew that receiving an invitation from Hazel was a nod of approval, and also understood that having received it, her presence was now considered mandatory. Jenny might have made a name for herself, and the relative good will of Constance Billiard, but Hazel was the Alpha bitch of the pack. As ambitious as Jenny was, she wasn't interested in being that kind of Queen Bee.

As for Kei's party, she'd gotten Gossip Girl's invitation on Monday with everyone else, but assumed that Kei and Blair couldn't possibly have meant her too. But then the very next day, Kei had walked past her in the hallway, recognised her and introduced herself, completely at ease and without sordid agenda. In the space of a minute, Kei had managed to dazzle Jenny with her amiable manners, and had officially invited Jenny. There was nothing manipulative or scheming about it: Kei had quite simply hoped that Jenny would come and have a good time.

It was a hell of a lot more than could be said of Hazel.

But she still questioned what she should do. As friendly as Kei was, Jenny wasn't sure if there would be any reward or payoff for going to her party. Kei was definitely stirring things up, but Jenny didn't want to go back to how it was before with Blair: being part of the background, a little PA to do the Queen's errands. Jenny wanted to be in the foreground, representing herself, rather than being represented by someone bitchier and more glamorous than she was. And being allied to Kei meant being allied to Blair, which wasn't an ally at all. Whereas Hazel... being in competition for the top spot with Hazel meant that she was seen first, not as a lackey. She wasn't the B group to Hazel's A group, she wasn't part of Hazel's background and...

And she didn't follow Hazel's orders, and appear when summoned.

The coin finally landed on its side.

_

* * *

I'm not lovin' you the way I wanted to_

_I bet no one knew, I got no one new_

_Know I'm said I'm through, but got love for you_

_But I'm lovin' you the way I wanted to..._

* * *

"Kei?"

"Hmmm?"

"Who's this?"

Kei turned away from the mirror where she was carefully straightening her hair. Blair was holding up a framed photo from Kei's desk: a photo taken over five years ago, featuring a pre-teen Kei in a pretty sundress, a short, very beautiful woman, and a younger Paul Argen, Kei's father, all together in a group hug with a view of a beautiful Mediterranean summer bay behind them in the distance. Kei's dad's hair was less white, a fine example of a man still looking good in his early forties, and the woman he was embracing was holding a Japanese umbrella for shade, her spare arm around a happy, tanned Kei.

Blair knew the answer to her question was obvious. And, assuming from her lack of information, not a happy story.

Kei smiled at the photo, a smile Blair couldn't fully comprehend, and put her GHDs down. She came closer to where Blair sat, and the ghost of the twelve-year-old's smile lingered.

"My mum." She sighed, swallowed, cleared her throat. Her eyes flickered to Blair's and then back to the picture. "Cancer, last year."

Three little words can tell so much...

Blair's stomach plummeted. Suddenly she felt horribly disrespectful: disrespectful for asking, disrespectful for picking up the photograph, disrespectful for not asking before. An old feeling grew, that feeling that she had had when she first sat and drank scotch with Chuck on his fourteenth birthday; it wasn't a feeling she could easily name. She knew that it was impossible to imagine what Kei had felt, was feeling and would feel; she couldn't fully imagine what Chuck felt either about his circumstances either for that matter. But Blair did know the feeling was born from regret: the wish that life hadn't screwed her friends over.

"Hey." Kei calmly walked over to Blair and put her hand on her shoulder. "It's ok. Alright to tell you properly another time though, when we're not getting ready for a party?" For once Kei sounded awkward, unsure and a bit uncomfortable. In other circumstances it would have been refreshing to know that Kei, for all her cool, could be insecure about confiding in someone. Now however, Blair couldn't help wishing that Kei only got insecure about the same things that she did: maybe they could learn from each other that way.

But now wasn't the time to think like that. "After all," a playful smile spread over Kei's face, "tonight, we're throwing the party. _Our _party. And, no matter what, we're going to be teenagers, and _have fun_."

A gleeful smile grew over Blair's face, making her a perfect picture of the old Blair. She nodded gently but decisively, her nod saying everything she wanted it to: friends listen and escape together.

Eventually, she'd learn first hand that they fight together too.

Oh, this is gonna be good...

_

* * *

Gotta keep it going, keep the lovin' going_

_Keep it on a roll, only God knows_

_If I be with you, baby I'm confused_

_You choose, you choose..._

* * *

Chuck Bass was feeling proud of himself, as he had every right to be. All the preparations that he was in charge of overseeing were complete, except for the punch, and for that he required only his own secret recipe and a key to get into Kei's penthouse in order to create it. It was a couple of hours before the party was officially meant to kick off, and he was much earlier than he had intended to be. However, Serena, Humphrey, and Eric were expected earlier themselves, and rather than wait around in the Van Der Woodsen-Bass residence, he went with them. Kei had told him that he was welcome to come any time. Her only condition was this: "Behave."

He couldn't be certain, but he could guess what she meant: Blair. He wondered what Blair had said about him being involved in the preparations for _Red Hot_, what Blair had said about him in general. No doubt she'd said he was an ego-centric, womanising 'Basstard', a 'Basshole', and... what was the other one? Oh yes, how could he forget this one: 'Mother-Chucker'. He always quite liked that one; he remembered he once teased her that her insinuation wasn't that far from the truth...

He missed their games. Maybe tonight was a good opportunity to begin another rematch. He was out of practice of course, but then, so was she. Although, strictly speaking, that wasn't entirely true, they'd both had times when their asses needed defending with a few choice biting words, but the true art of their old banter was very dormant: ever since that night at the bar, so long ago now, they'd barely spoken.

Except last week, when he'd been nearly comatose from birthday scotch. But that was barely worth mentioning...

Chuck had to admit, he obviously wasn't out of practise with the art of denial.

He tuned out of Serena and Dan's lovey-dovey nonsense (if he was going to be sick tonight at least let it be because his punch had lived up to its name), aware that Eric kept half an eye on him, the young boy's curiosity clearly needing no questions, conversation, or even mention. Eric was alright, let him think what he liked. It let him wonder just who on earth had really raised the young Van Der Woodsen; clearly not his mother or his sister. For family oddities, only the Basses could compete.

And possibly every other family he knew, for that matter.

The limo pulled up outside The Silver Sakura, a place that Chuck thought perfectly suited Kei - if ever an establishment would - and the four teenagers piled out. The driver was told he had a few hours off until they needed lifts home much later, and upon entering, they were swiftly shown to a table at the far back and told that Miss Waldorf and Miss Katayama-Argen ('Katayama' pronounced perfectly in Japanese) would be joining them shortly. Chuck, however, had one more errand to run.

He didn't meet Paul Argen for long, but the man certainly made an impression. At first, the distant aristocratic British accent perfectly fitted Argen's exceptional professional manners, and then, when Chuck gave him the keys to a suite in the Palace Hotel, so that the party didn't disturb him, the man glowed with glee akin to that of a ten year old boy given a brand new toy car or something. Chuck couldn't remember the last time he'd seen a grown man who looked like he knew how to properly have fun, but somehow it made perfect sense, considering the photo of a slightly younger Argen sky-diving with a manic grin all over his face amongst the family pictures. A minute in Paul Argen's office taught Chuck Bass one very important thing about Kei: unlike the Basses, the Katayama-Argens _knew_ how to be happy.

When he came out of Argen's office, he saw a flash of chocolate brown and ruby red out of the corner of his eye. He headed back to the table, and froze at the sight before him.

It was Blair. She was hugging Eric, and he could only see her back, but he knew it was her. Her hair was looped up in a knot, revealing the crystal beaded silk organza over her shoulders, before the short dress hugged her figure, all the way down her back, over her perfectly formed ass, to her thighs. God, she looked sexy...

"Took a little convincing with her mum, that did."

Chuck turned around. And immediately knew that God was definitely smiling on him that night.

"Interesting woman, Eleanor Waldorf... formidable. Took quite a battle to get her to agree to making that dress for Blair," Kei told him amiably.

Chuck couldn't help thinking that if it had taken a battle to get Eleanor Waldorf to make her daughter look like the Goddess that Blair was, then there was no way that Eleanor had had any say or contribution whatsoever to Kei's outfit: a deep red corset top, matching tight, bootleg, satin pants and the toes of black Jimmy Choo sandal boots peeping out. Her hair was twisted into a knot, a red ribbon laced through her hair. Half of her hair appeared to be escaping from its confines to frame her face, emphasising the dark eye make-up she had on.

He wanted to wolf-whistle like a construction worker. Except Chuck Bass would never do something so lacking in sophistication.

"Tongue back in mouth there, Bass." Kei teased, smirking. She dug in the pocket of her jacket slung over her arm and handed him a set of keys. "Everything's ready up there; you can go up whenever you like. Hungry?"

He resisted the urge to turn back to get a glimpse of Blair's front, but he could feel eyes burning into his back. Maybe later.

"I'll do the punch and be back down. Order me a scotch?"

Kei raised an eyebrow. "Remember what I said before, Bass."

_You'd better stay relatively sober tonight, Bass. By sober I mean able to function properly in all necessary capacities and not make a fool out of yourself. Understood?_

He nodded, took the keys and headed for the elevator to the penthouse, forcing himself not to turn to see Blair again. Kei's rule was the only thing stopping him from giving in to the compulsion to burn his mind with alcohol so he wouldn't be haunted by how beautiful Blair looked. It seemed that night he would learn two things of importance: the first was about Kei, the second about himself: he was clearly a masochist.

_

* * *

I'm not lovin' you the way I wanted to_

_Where I wanna go, I don't need you_

_I've been down this road, too many time before_

_I'm not lovin' you the way I wanted to..._

* * *

"Afraid no one was going to show up?"

Blair looked up and met Kei's smile with one of her own. Kei walked over to her, leaning against the railing next to her, passing a glass of punch to Blair. They toasted their glasses in silence to the crowd below them, the entire open space full of familiar faces and red clothing. Just below them Chuck was mixing up more punch already, about half a dozen girls standing around just watching him work his magic, flirting shamefully with him as he revelled in the attention. Drake was on the platform by the window going through the play list, looking for the best song to play next whilst in conversation with Eric. Kei watched the two for a moment, and then smiled to herself, wondering. Around them people were beginning to groove to the music, the party vibe loosening people's muscles, the beat already taking over. Watching from the landing over the sea of the best of red fashion, Kei and Blair were just out of reach of the hypnotising lull, and thus able to see the fruits of their labour without hindrance. Raised above the crowd, Blair and Kei had earned their rightful places: right at the top.

"Come on," Kei said, taking Blair's arm. "Let's get this party started."

_

* * *

So keep your love locked down, your love locked down_

_Keepin' your love locked down, your love locked down_

_I keep your love locked down, your love locked down_

_I keep your love locked down, you lose_

_You lose, you lose, you lose, you lose..._

_

* * *

134: Our senses are the first origin of credibility, all good conscience, all apparent truth.

* * *

_Right, as always, Gossip Girl is still not mine. If it was, Chuck would have done better than flowers in an elevator. The Friedrich Nietzsche quotes from Beyond Good and Evil aren't mine either. And, to add to the list, Lock Lockdown by Kanye West isn't mine either.

I should explain about the song actually: it's a vibe thing, though if you like you can read stuff in from the lyrics. I had the song stuck in my head for a while when I was writing this chapter, and I thought it would work well to create the pre-party vibe, sounds sexy.

Anyway, Chapter 10, whenever I manage to get it out (also writing two dissertations due for mid-May, so should be busy with other things...), will be set during the party itself. I can't quite believe it's taken this many chapters to get to it, I hadn't expected that, kind of proud of myself lol. Anyway, expect good stuff ;-)

Many thanks to Ellie, my beta-reader, I'm sorry it took so long to write good stuff for you to beta xx

Everyone, please read and review, and take care xx


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

_111: Our vanity is most resistant to wounds when our pride has just been wounded.

* * *

Please don't stop the music  
Please don't stop the music  
Please don't stop the music  
Please don't stop the music_

_It's getting late  
I'm making my way over to my favourite place  
I gotta get my body moving  
Shake the stress away  
I wasn't looking for nobody when you looked my way  
Possible candidate, yeah  
Who knew  
That you'd be up in here looking like you do  
You're making staying over here, impossible  
Baby, I must say your aura is incredible  
If you don't have to go, don't_

_Do you know what you started?  
I just came here to party  
But now we're rocking on the dance floor, actin' naughty  
Your hands around my waist  
Just let the music play  
We're hand in hand, chest to chest and now we're face to face_

_I wanna take you away  
Let's escape into the music, DJ let it play  
I just can't refuse it  
Like the way you do this  
Keep on rockin' to it  
Please don't stop the, please don't stop the music  
I wanna take you away  
Let's escape into the music, DJ let it play  
I just can't refuse it  
Like the way you do this  
Keep on rockin' to it  
Please don't stop the, please don't stop the  
Please don't stop the music_

What better to start off a party?

* * *

Kei and Blair clapped along to the lyrics, in sync with the dancers around them, the two girls' minds more in sync with each other. It was just like it had been at Noh: Kei transformed from her solid, careful poise to liquid, smooth, and free, and Blair was swept right in with her, all the tension she'd felt before forgotten. They'd both had a couple of glasses of Chuck's punch – whoa – and with the music playing and happy, fun-loving faces around them, they'd both loosened into it, and thus their spirits soared around the room.

It was an hour after the first person had arrived, and already the penthouse was full of people, either hugging the walls or on the landing in conversation, or around the drinks and munchies, or in the growing group of people dancing. Serena and Dan had snagged a sofa away from the crowd, making out and snuggling up to each other. Drake was manning the sound system, slipping easily into the role of a DJ whilst talking to Eric, who hung back from the crowds, a detached, impressed look on his face. Chuck was by all the beverages, making sure that no one helped themselves purely to soft drinks, and flirting shamelessly with a couple of young sophomores like his old self, making sure that the girls – what were their names again? – didn't notice that he was constantly watching Blair out of the corner of his eye.

You couldn't blame him. There was no word in the English language that could sum up how good Blair looked. There was simply no denying that all the crap he'd said in that bar so long ago was simply that: crap. Not even Kei, in all her sensual, exotic glory, could compare to Blair. He remembered thinking that whilst Kei was definitely attractive, he wasn't attracted to her because she appealed to tastes that veered to the rare and exotic, and to those who were more interested in the long-term. Now, he realised the terrible truth that he'd known, somewhere, the whole time: there was no one but Blair.

And he'd completely screwed it up. This was definitely the only time in his whole life when he would tell himself that he was an idiot.

So he just watched, watched as her arms rose like they did on Victrola's stage, watched as her perfect ass swayed to the music, watched as she moved her feet, her legs smooth and lightly tanned. There was no sexier sight than Blair Waldorf dancing before you.

Well, except for what happened _after_ the last time she'd danced for him…

He wanted to dance with her… to put his hands on her hips and feel her move to the beat… to press her body against his so their hearts could beat in harmony to the rhythm. He wanted…

He wanted these damn blondes around him to get lost. Right now.

* * *

"To us!"

Hazel had never sounded so forced in her entire life. Not even when she told her daddy that of course she didn't mind if he lowered the limit on her credit card.

Half a dozen girls had arrived for her sleepover party, and there was something not quite right about most of them. Isabel and Kati, for instance, had both brought very little with them, and what they had bought was stuffed into very small handbags, and they were wearing quite sparkly make-up. Hazel wasn't certain, but she swore she'd seen a flash of red under Kati's dress when she sat down.

The other half dozen hadn't shown up at all, including Jenny. The bitches.

Assembled were Penelope, Isabel, Kati, Elise, and two freshmen girls whose names Hazel couldn't remember but had invited because she thought they showed potential. Now, however, they'd been there for barely half an hour and, if Hazel wasn't mistaken, they both looked like they wanted to leave as quickly as possible.

Indeed, it was when they both choked on the champagne cocktails that the freshmen made their excuses about parents or homework and almost ran to the door.

Hazel's mood worsened when Isabel and Kati declined facials but went for manicures, the two speaking in low voices to each other over their nails. Then it got even worse…

**PARTY UPDATE: To all those who actually turned up to H's sleepover party – thanks to TwinKI'08 for sending the guest list; half of them are at K's – I hope you packed something red with your nighties: you picked the wrong venue.**

When Hazel read that short message, she froze in her seat and didn't move for five minutes. In those five minutes, Kati and Isabel left, saying they'd see Hazel at school, and Penelope waited for her friend to come out of her trance. Elise answered all of Penelope's commands, fetching water, a damp towel, even checking the drawers for possible medication.

When Hazel finally came to, she remained silent. She looked at Penelope and Elise, making both girls wither under the force of her glare, got up and marched to her wardrobe.

"Hazel?" Penelope ventured. "Wh-what are you doing?"

Hazel didn't respond; she carried on going through her wardrobe.

"Hazel?"

Finally, Hazel found what she was looking for and pulled out a Nicole Miller aqua strapless bubble dress. "We're going to see what the fuss is about." She quickly scanned what Penelope and Elise were wearing. It would have to do. Besides, it definitely wouldn't do for them to look better than her either.

* * *

Drake gave the red-head who'd been trying to chat him up a friendly shove towards the crowd and put on a song for her: Just Dance by Lady Gaga. He hoped the girl got the idea... but considering the look she sent his way as she went to dance with her friends, he thought it sadly unlikely. He took another sip of punch - Christ, what did Bass put in this thing? Pure alcohol? - and surveyed the party. He was impressed. Those who were into it were clearly having a good time. He wasn't pleased about the scrutiny Kei was getting from the sides of the room, from girls huddled together and judging their surroundings. Still, vast majority of the huddlers looked like they'd give a thumbs up, albeit perhaps reluctantly. The rest looked green with envy, not a colour that matched their red dresses or tops.

He was incredibly bemused by Chuck's smouldering looks at Blair as she danced. Drake wasn't blind; Blair looked absolutely stunning, as did Kei. But Chuck's eyes were solely on Blair, and, if Drake wasn't mistaken, Blair didn't seem too ignorant of the fact. She didn't return Chuck's gaze, but the way she moved, the way she resolutely didn't turn in his direction, the tilt of her head as though to check over her shoulder: yeah, she knew. And the secretive smile that peeped out every now and then said she didn't mind it a great deal.

He had asked Kei what was going on with those two ever since he saw Blair's reaction to finding out that Kei was enlisting Chuck's help. Kei had given him an apologetic look he knew fairly well: it wasn't her secret to tell. She merely said it was a story of lust and pain, two things - Drake couldn't help remarking - that had a tendency to go together. She also said, chuckling sadly, that it was almost entirely their - Chuck and Blair's - fault.

Maybe that explained why the two hadn't said a word to each other yet, why they'd sat at opposite sides of the table earlier when they were eating, barely looked at each other - though Chuck was breaking that rule more than Blair - and why they avoided each other's conversations - again, Chuck the only one with the nerve to break that rule. Kei and Drake kept exchanging knowing glances at each whilst they were eating, bemused at the game being played. Serena and Dan just looked awkward whenever the tension peaked, and it was Eric who managed to dispel it by changing the subject or merely keeping the conversation flowing.

Speaking of Eric, he liked the kid. He saw a bit of himself in the young Van Der Woodsen, but at the same time he sensed that Eric was even better at wearing masks than Blair Waldorf; Eric's was just far more amiable and welcoming. He came across as patient, very private, and mature for his age, as though he'd watched people close to him do rather ridiculous things and he'd put up with it uncomplainingly. They talked about how Drake was finding New York, how it must be nice to see Kei again, and what home was like. Drake, despite being a naturally shy person, found it easy to talk to the boy. Maybe it was because he was going back to England the following day. Or maybe it was just because that was the kind of person Eric was: the type that one inherently trusts.

Drake also felt a bit sorry for Eric: it's not sunshine and roses keeping secrets from people because you don't want them to freak out.

Kei sashayed through the crowd to them.

"Go and dance with Blair for me," Kei asked Eric, giving him a grateful smile when he nodded and when back down the path she'd made through the people. She handed Drake a glass of water, grinning. "You look a little flushed."

He put his arm round her to give her a squeeze as he took a gulp of water. "So. Happy?"

"With the party?" He nodded. Her grin got brighter, and she nodded assertively. "You enjoying yourself playing DJ?"

He chuckled. "I don't mind. Some of this stuff isn't my thing. I'll dance later, when we move to the really good stuff."

She laughed. "You'd better. Can't have you coming all the way here to visit and not dance."

He grinned and looked over the party again. Then he frowned. "Who's the girl in blue?"

Kei frowned likewise, looked over at the door where Drake was pointing, and her face turned sour. "We have a bitch-alert."

* * *

_You change your mind  
like a girl  
changes clothes  
yeah you  
PMS  
like a bitch  
I would know  
and you over-think  
always speak  
Cryptically  
I should know  
that you're not good for me_

_Cause you're hot then you're cold  
you're yes then you're no  
you're in then you're out  
you're up and you're down  
you're wrong when it's right  
it's black and it's white  
we fight we break up  
we kiss we make up_

_(You) you don't really want to stay (no)  
(but you) but you don't really want to go (oh)  
hot and you're cold  
you're yes then you're no  
you're in then you're out  
you're up and you're down

* * *

_Hazel couldn't believe it. This... _this_ was what Gossip Girl had decided to approve? It was... it was...

'A damn good party'. Is that what you're trying to say, H?

Hardly. Where were the A-listers? Where was the class? Where were the champagne cocktails with waiters to serve them? Didn't Kei think to make her party more exclusive, more... more stylish? Not just cheap-ass drapes and sofas and Chuck Bass by the drinks counter -

Wait, what?

She turned her head and stared in badly-masked horror at the sight of Chuck Bass, hotter than ever in a perfectly tailored red suit and crimson scarf, a glass of scotch fitting perfectly into his hand, surrounded by freshmen already charmed from his classic smirk. A smirk that was disappearing at the sight of her. No... No, this wasn't possible. Chuck Bass wasn't friends with Kei, he certainly wasn't on any amicable terms with Blair, so what the hell was he doing here?

Hazel's eyes peered round the room. The St Judes' lacrosse team were on the stairs with their girlfriends and dates. The other half of her guest list that hadn't shown up was dotted around the room, drinking and talking or dancing. Isabel and Kati were chatting up the captain of the track team, both in matching Ralph Lauren dresses. Even Hazel's ex, the soccer captain, was there on one of the sofas, making out with a red-head on his lap.

It was painfully obvious now why Gossip Girl had approved of Kei's party. _Everyone else had_.

As people started to stare, her insides started to burn. There she was, in blue, flanked by Penelope and Elise who were both looking out of place, unwelcome and unwanted. Indeed, most people had stopped staring, had just got straight back into the party vibe, and the rest... the rest were waiting with savoury anticipation for hell to break loose.

Well, there was no way she was going to give them the satisfaction of seeing her break down, not in front of itching fingers on cell phone cameras.

Then she caught sight of Blair, dancing with Eric van der Woodsen amongst the crowd, smiling and oblivious to the gatecrashers, completely free from humiliation and embarrassment. And beyond her, raised slightly above the crowd commanding the music, was Kei herself, coolly staring right back at Hazel, and at her side, with an arm round her shoulders, was the blue-haired boy that everyone had been simpering over on Gossip Girl's blog all week.

This was the bitter taste of defeat.

Kei's look shifted to Chuck and nodded slightly towards the door. Hazel stared at Chuck as he nodded back and made his way over.

"Hazel, ladies," he greeted, tone seductive but cold at the same time. "I'd say it was a pleasure to see you here, but I wouldn't like to be accused of being a liar." He smirked as Hazel unconsciously swallowed, and Elise nervously shifted on her feet. Penelope looked like she wanted to faint from embarrassment. "I suggest, girls, that you return to your own party, and leave us to ours." And then he gestured to the door, the smirk dying, his ice-cold expression better relaying the message: leave now.

Everyone close by was waiting; someone had even flipped up the camera on their cell, ready to take a shot.

Hazel gritted her teeth, stood up straighter, and exited with her head held high, every muscle in her body painfully tense, Penelope hot on her heels. Elise, unbeknown to Hazel, hesitated, and when Chuck took one look at her and let her be, she hesitated longer. The little girl was wearing a fairly non-descript pink dress: if she wanted, she could get away with the dress code.

"Elise?"

The little sophomore turned and quietly sighed with relief. It was Jenny, her blonde hair pinned up into a sparkly red beret and dressed in a funky off-shoulder dress with a tulle skirt. She was smiling, glad to see a familiar face, and then her smile faltered. "Is Hazel here?"

Elise shook her head. "She err... just left."

Jenny's smile returned. "Come on, let's go party!"

* * *

_I'm ready for love... for love..._

_I've a smile on my face..._

_For love... for love..._

_I'm ready for love..._

_I'm ready for love..._

_I've a smile on my face..._

_For love... for love..._

After Hazel had left as quickly as she'd entered, Drake changed the music, and pulled Kei into the crowd to dance to Mint Royale's remix of Singin' In The Rain. It had been a favourite of theirs back in England, and they'd practically learnt all the moves from the music video, apart from the more complicated stuff, and made up other moves. It made for a very weird duet, but they loved doing it: they were both natural dancers in that a lot of music could quite easy talk through their limbs. It was one of their many 'things', and always gave them the giggles whenever they did it at parties back home, their friends around them cheering them on.

It was no different that night. Everyone around them was taken by surprise the moment Gene Kelly started singing, and in the confusion the two easily got their space, and then forgot their surroundings as they tilted their heads side-to-side before the beat kicked in. With her bare shoulders and tight pants, Kei looked incredibly sensual, whilst Drake looked hip with his contrasting colours. Blair watched them from the sidelines with the other people, laughing with them, cheering for her friends, not remotely concerned about the shift of attention, forgetting that she herself was being watched too, but not by those watching with her.

_And I miss you  
Like the deserts miss the rain  
And I miss you, oh  
Like the deserts miss the rain_

_I step off the train, I'm walkin' down your street again  
And past your door but you don't live there anymore  
It's years since you've been there  
And now you've disappeared somewhere  
Like outer space you've found some better place_

_And I miss you  
Like the deserts miss the rain  
And I miss you, yeah  
Like the deserts miss the rain_

Everyone knows how to groove to that.

* * *

_If I had another chance tonight  
I'd try to tell you that the things we had were right  
If I had another chance tonight  
I'd try to tell you that the things we had were right_

If Cinderella was attending, then her clothes should have turned back to rags by now. A few people had left for early nights, each thanking Blair and Kei for the party and congratulating them, and a few more had come in. Among those who were late was Kei's friend from Noh, Cosmo, who'd brought along some of his friends from Columbia. Most of them weren't wearing red, Kei teased, until they all tugged the corners of their boxers out to show that, yes, they were wearing something red. Most of them gathered round to introduce themselves, save for one, who vanished into the crowd and was forgotten, the colour of his underwear undetermined. One of them, Andrew 'call me Noodle', after remarking that he'd had 'jush a little bit to drink' started chatting to Blair, using some of the oldest pick-up lines in the book, slurred with beer breath. Thankfully for Blair, he ran out of drink and spotted more across the room and stumbled through the crowd to get another beer.

"He wasn't hassling you, was he, Waldorf?"

Time froze. Blair knew that she had less than a split second to react, and if she hesitated any longer than that, then she knew that, according to him, the smirk she heard in Bass' voice would be perfectly justified.

"No more than you are, Bass." She smirked right back at him as she turned to face him. And willed her heart to beat normally. She dramatically looked around him. "What, no entourage? Scared the freshmen away already?"

Chuck just carried on smirking. "I sent them away; they're not that _fresh_." Blair raised an eyebrow. She doubted that would be a problem. "Why, jealous?"

Her smirk instantly turned into a scowl. "Hardly." She was about to come up with a better response, but she got distracted, causing her scowl to become even more sour. But she was looking over Chuck's shoulder, to the door...

"What?" Chuck frowned. Since when did Blair back out this easily? When he realised she wasn't paying him much attention, he followed her stare. And immediately felt the exact same dread.

"Shit." Kei muttered sympathetically, appearing at Blair's side. She'd seen the same thing.

Nate was here.

"What is he doing here?" Blair muttered rhetorically, barely moving her lips as the three of them stared in horror at the new arrival.

"More importantly, how the hell do we get rid of him?" Kei said. Blair finally turned to her friend. She couldn't remember the last time someone had looked so indignant on her behalf before.

"You don't." Chuck said, keeping his eyes fixed on his former best friend. "Just let him be, make sure he can't cause a scene. Nathaniel's harmless on his own."

Kei raised an eyebrow. "Sure about that?"

Nate had spotted them.

* * *

_If you're gonna save the day  
And you're hearin' what I say  
I feel your touch  
Your kiss, it's not enough  
And if you believe in me  
Don't think my love's not for real  
I won't take nothin' less  
than a deeper love_

_Let me tell you,  
No, I  
I need a miracle, I need a miracle  
It's more than physical  
What I need to feel from you_

_Let me tell you,  
No, I  
I need a miracle, I need a miracle  
Its more than physical  
What I need to get me through_

Nate wasn't happy when he saw Chuck, Blair, and Kei together, staring at him from across the room. He glared at Chuck. _Keep away from her..._

Which her?

"Nate!"

Suddenly blonde hair and red hat were bobbing front of him, obscuring his view of the trio. He dragged his attention away from them, and focused it on Jenny. "Hi, Jenny. Good party?"

The sophomore smiled, happy that Nate was actually talking to her and he didn't stink too badly of hash. "Way better than all the summer ones!" She gushed. She'd had a couple of glasses of the punch, unaware of just how strong Chuck had mixed it. "Did you just get here?"

"Yeah, my mom asked me to attend the Opera with her," he replied flippantly. And then smoked out of his bedroom window whilst trying to decide whether or not to go to the party. The main pro was that it was Kei's party. The con was that it was also Blair's. He didn't think that Chuck would be there, or, at least if he was there, that he would be so cosy with the two girls. He glanced again at the trio over Jenny's shoulder, and watched as Chuck left the two girls. Kei then took Blair's arm and together they disappeared into the crowd.

"That's a shame." Jenny slurred slightly, unaware that Nate wasn't properly listening. "I had to wait for my dad to go to sleep before creeping out of the house, kinda hoping that Dan doesn't rat me out!"

Nate just managed to catch the last of what she said. "Oh... well, I'm sure he won't, he seems to be an alright guy."

Jenny giggled. "Have you met my brother?"

Actually he had, but he couldn't be bothered to say so and carry on the conversation. So he changed the subject. He spotted the punch in Jenny's hand. "Punch good?"

Jenny nodded emphatically. "Want me to get you some?"

"That's ok, where is it?"

Suddenly the music changed. The beat of a drum, and then the strum of an electric guitar. How random... was it an English thing to suddenly change to indie?

_Quiet heartbeat  
Your quiet heartbeats  
Race runner you  
You sleep like small stars flying back home_

_Quiet heartbeat - shine like millions  
Your quiet heartbeats - shine like millions  
Race runner you - shine like millions  
You sleep like small stars flying back home_

_I, come on!  
I, come on!  
I, come on!  
I, come on!_

_Oh, come on!  
Oh, come on!  
Oh, come on!  
Oh, come on!_

_We are everywhere  
We are everywhere  
We are everywhere  
We are everywhere_

A few people cheered from the dancing group, and people moved out just a little bit to make a bit of space in the middle. Nate pushed his way through to as close to the front as he could get, made all the more difficult when everyone started tentatively dancing, mimicking the ones in the centre. Finally he saw the focus.

Kei and Drake were dancing again, but this time, entirely differently from before - not that Nate knew that. Instead of the sure moves of Singin' In The Rain, the two swapped for jerky bouncing, bobbing to the strums of the guitars, at times taking it in turns to show off their moves to the other. They were in their own little world... and it was so unique that Nate wasn't sure whether he really wanted to be a part of it. But throughout he mostly just watched Kei; every movement from her hips, every time she shifted her feet, every stretch of the muscles in her bare shoulders... every move was comfortable and sexy, yet she didn't seem to even notice that there were people around her watching. In her own little world with her blue-haired friend.

The lucky bastard...

Then Nate watched more closely. Kei's blue-haired friend - no one had found out his name and leaked it to Gossip Girl - looked like his mind was also up the clouds, entirely taken by the music. How could he miss the gorgeous girl in front of him, swaying and grinding holes in the floor right under his very nose? Unless... unless...

Unless he wasn't Kei's boyfriend, or even interested in being her boyfriend.

Nate smiled with relief. He had a chance then... provided that Chuck hadn't interfered. He wasn't interested in Chuck's cast-offs.

Speaking of Chuck's cast-offs, as the song started to end, Kei grabbed Blair's hands, pulled her into the centre despite her giggling objections, and the two girls started spinning each other round in the centre, everyone cheering them on, the blue-haired guy laughing in enjoyment. The two girls were shrieking with laughter, clinging to each other as they spun like a merry-go-round, the music escalating to its climax. The song ended suddenly, plunging the room into relative quiet for second and the two let go, each spinning off in opposite directions, both caught by the crowd. They both burst out laughing again and lurched to each other, an arm round the others shoulders, giggling madly.

They looked drunk, but not necessarily on alcohol.

Then Kei squealed with glee when the next song came on, and she gave Drake a big kiss on the cheek before dancing with Blair, Blair uncertainly copying Kei's style of movement.

_I can't believe I've made it here  
Today I'm afraid of yesterday  
I wrote this letter to you, my dear  
In case, afraid it fades away_

_I say baby, babe I've loved you a long time  
I try harder just to know you're all mine  
I say baby, babe I've loved you a long time  
I grow happy knowing that you're alright

* * *

_For a good hour or so, nothing particularly eventful happened, apart from 'Noodle' getting a bit green and quickly being pushed into one of the bathrooms to throw up, and then bundled into a cab and sent back to his dorm. Jenny sat at the top of the stairs, talking - or rather, slurring - with Elise, who was actually talking shyly with a sophomore boy who was in the Chess club. Serena had dragged Dan up to dance - a sight that gave Blair stitches in her sides from trying not to laugh. It didn't work of course, but it's the thought that counts. Blair had done a little circulating, something she was well practised in, perhaps a little rusty, but it all came back with ease, particularly considering that her smiles were completely real. Kei and Eric were laughing together over stories of Upper East Side society, something that Kei had yet to experience, but they were equally bemusing as her experiences of pseudo-aristocratic society in England. Drake was being harmlessly chatted up by Cosmo and his boyfriend as he once again acted DJ. Chuck had taken a break of sorts and was leaning against the railing on the landing, watching everything below him, ignoring every come-on and wink. Thus it was he who spotted trouble before anyone else.

Nate was pushing through the crowd to talk to Kei, who'd managed to successfully elude him the whole time, when he banged into someone's shoulder.

"Sorry, man..."

He trailed off. Pleasantries were not necessary for Carter Baizen. Carter's own apologies died halfway out, and his cool flickered for a moment from the unforeseen events. Neither was particularly happy to see the other, to say the least.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Nate demanded. Last time he'd seen Baizen his fist had been aiming for Baizen's nose.

Carter frowned slightly at Nate's blatant lack of manners. "That's none of your business, Archibald." He started to walk away, but Nate grabbed him by his shirt and yanked him back. He wasn't getting away that easily.

"Being here is none of your business either, _Baizen_." Nate spat out. _Why couldn't the bastard just leave them all the hell alone_?

Temper, temper...

"Look -"

"Hey!"

The two guys stopped and turned their heads to spy the source of the protestation. Nate immediately loosened his grip on Carter's shirt, his temper slowly being forgotten. It was Kei.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kei glared at him. "Let go of him." Nate glared at Carter. His temper wasn't that cooled yet. "_Now_, Archibald."

Archibald? Nate's grip slackened entirely and Carter pulled himself away from him. So formal... was now the right moment to ask her to call him Nate?

"Now, what were you doing?" Kei asked her own temper no less diffused.

"I was about to get this asshole to leave, for your information," Nate said, glaring again at Carter, who balled his fists in anger.

"Well, for your information, you're not my bouncer," Kei retorted. "And I suggest you go before I hire one."

"But..." He stared at her in shock, trying to ignore the smug look spreading over Carter's face. It was like Cotillion all over again. He wanted to reason with her, but the cold, serious expression on Kei's face advised him not to. It wouldn't do him any favours to disobey either. There had to be some good he could get out of this...

Suddenly he had an idea. Couldn't hurt...

"Alright," he conceded. He took a step towards Kei, getting much closer than she liked, her eyes narrowing. "On one condition." She raised an eyebrow, incredulous, as if silently saying 'I don't think you're in any position to set conditions'. Nevertheless... "Go on a date with me."

If he hadn't have been trying so hard, he'd have described the look on her face as priceless. Even Carter looked surprised, to say the least.

"You're insane."

Ignoring the sting, and the look of amusement on Carter's face, Nate pressed on. "Just once, sometime this week. And I'll leave."

Kei looked at him suspiciously. "Why on earth should I agree?" She asked, her tone heavy with doubt that he had a reason.

Nate shrugged innocently. "Because you don't want me to make a scene?"

Kei's face fell. He had her there. People were noticing, cell phones out and flashing. How very discreet of them. She wanted Nate gone; she didn't like seeing Blair tense up every time she spotted her ex-boyfriend, and it was pissing her off how he'd been trying to follow her through the crowds like a puppy-dog.

So against her better judgement, she quickly realised there wasn't a quicker and quieter way of handling the situation. "Fine. Monday, after school, book a table somewhere. Okay?" Nate smiled. Mission accomplished. "Now get out of my house."

Nate's smile faded, and he left feeling slightly low, but, as he rode the elevator down, he knew the thought of a date with the New Girl was going to give him a smile all weekend.

Back at the party, Kei watched closely as Nate left, to ensure that he did, in fact, leave. She took a deep breath to calm her temper, and then turned to the 'asshole'.

"I'm sorry about that," she said gently. Her eyes quickly examined the guy's shirt: black, with a loose red tie. It looked a little crinkled, but otherwise Nate's grip wasn't that damaging.

"It's nothing," came the reply.

She smiled. Then she tilted her head in curiosity. "We haven't been introduced properly, have we?"

"No," the guy chuckled. "I'm Carter Baizen; I'm a friend of Cosmo's." He stretched his hand out.

She smiled at his manners, and shook his hand. "Kei Katayama-Argen." Again, her curiosity peaked and Chuck's punch pushed the next words out before she could stop them. "The one who didn't show off his boxers, right?"

Carter laughed. "Yeah, I'm afraid I don't have any red underwear to show off, the tie's the best I can do."

Kei chuckled, outwardly at the joke and inwardly at how bad the joke was. _Dear Lord, what on earth am I doing_? "Fair enough."

"You're the hostess, right?" She nodded. "Quite a party you've thrown."

"Thanks."

"You're a senior too?" She nodded again. "Gotta tell you, this is a great deal better than some of parties I went to in my senior year. I'm surprised it's just Noodle who's thrown up so far, by now I would have expected at least two others for a party this size."

Kei grinned. "Wait an hour or so, then maybe do a recount of the night's casualties."

Chuck watched as Carter laughed at Kei's last comment, as the two fell easily into conversation by their curiosity, then got more drinks, and carried on talking. It was only when Drake put on a particular song and looked in Kei's direction was she interrupted, and she left Carter, who watched her as she vanished into the crowd again. At no point did either seem aware that Chuck had been watching them the whole time, inclined to interrupt, to carry on where Nate had left, but he didn't.

_If the fish swam out of the ocean  
And grew legs and they started walking  
And the apes climbed down from the trees  
And grew tall and started talking_

_And the stars fell out of the sky  
And the tears rolled into the ocean  
And I'm looking for a reason why  
You even set my world into motion_

_'Cause if you're not really here  
Then the stars don't even matter  
Now I'm filled to the top with fear  
That it's all just a bunch of matter_

_'Cause if you're not really here  
Then I don't wanna be either  
I wanna be next to you  
Black and Gold, Black and Gold, Black and Gold_

As he watched Kei and Drake dance together again, like a strange version of a tango this time, Chuck wondered why he hadn't interfered. He couldn't help noticing that it looked a little like when he'd seen Nate and Serena _that_ time, watching from above and doing nothing to intervene. But this time was entirely different, save for the angle of the view. It wasn't his best friend cheating on his gorgeous girlfriend, or a best friend making the ultimate betrayal. Instead it was Carter Baizen, a crook of a cocky bastard, just talking to an acquaintance of his, a unique and independent girl who wouldn't appreciate Chuck, or indeed anyone, messing around with her life. Maybe she'd realise what a slimy worm Carter was on her own.

Or maybe he could give her a little help... After all, what are friends for?

* * *

_120: Sensuality often hurries the growth of love too much, so that its roots remain weak and easy to extract._

* * *

Ok, as always: Gossip Girl, and the Friedrich Nietzsche quotes for Beyond Good and Evil etc does not belong to me.

Songs referenced (again, none of them belong to me either) are, in order: _Don't Stop The Music_ by Rihanna, _Hot 'n' Cold_ by Katy Perry, _Singin' In The Rain_ by Mint Royale featuring Gene Kelly, _Missing_ by Everything But The Girl, _Another Chance_ by Roger Sanchez, _Toca's Miracle_ by Fragma, _Hummer_ by Foals, _Epic Last Song_ by Does It Offend You Yeah?, and _Black And Gold_ by Sam Sparro.

To Ellie, you're an absolute star, thank you for beta-ing again for me :-)

Everyone else reading: thankyou for sticking with me all the way to Chapter 10, please review!

Take care all xx


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

_72: It is not the strength of his great feelings, but rather their duration that is the mark of a great man._

* * *

"A tall, non-fat de-caf latte and two signature hot chocolates with cream - to go."

Blair got her change from the barrista and waited for the order. Outside, in their own little bubble, she could see Kei and Drake, standing together forlornly by the gate to his flight.

Drake's week in New York was over. It was Saturday morning; Drake was checked in, he had his passport and his boarding pass, and was waiting for the last minute, clearly struggling under the clouds over his head: he didn't want to say goodbye. Kei hardly looked any better: she was pale and drawn, and she looked like she was shrinking into herself. She looked horribly unhappy, which was why Blair was at JFK with her, to take Kei home again when Drake was gone. All the same, time was running out, and so Blair had excused herself and offered to do a Starbucks run.

The drinks came at exactly the right moment, when Kei seized Drake into a hug. Blair turned away, feeling uncomfortable, and took the lids off the hot chocolates – why did they like having the whipped cream stirred in? And loads more chocolate powder mixed in too? – to give her friend a little more privacy.

Blair wondered as she stirred, unable to quell her curiosity, whether this would have been the same kind of farewell she would have given Serena if Serena had left in more favourable circumstances. Yes, she probably would have. If only, if only, she thought. She wondered how she would have felt if it had been Nate instead, if Nate had left as Drake was leaving now. Her mind came up with no answer, just a blank: she didn't know how she would have reacted if Nate had ever left New York when they were still going out, when things were better between them. At the same time, a part of her mind quietly rang warning bells: she was denying something to herself. Ignoring them; what about… what about Bass? Immediately she knew the answer: Bass wouldn't receive any ceremony from her, no sweet farewells or best regards.

She'd probably just check her watch, nearby clocks, her cell for the time, waiting for the departure time, and then wonder whether the plane overhead was his…

Catching herself thinking such a ridiculous thought, Blair gave herself one last moment to wonder why that image came to her so vividly, but before she could really think of an answer she commanded herself to stop thinking, to forget about it entirely. There was no good in debating the what ifs. Besides, if Bass left New York forever then life would be considerably easier.

i.e.: boring.

* * *

"Tell your mum and dad I said hi, okay?"

It was the first sentence Kei had said since they'd arrived at the airport, and definitely the first sentence she'd said the whole morning that didn't sound stilted, forced out to chase away painful silences. Drake smiled weakly and nodded.

"And tell everyone at the restaurant that I hope they're doing well, if you pop in any time soon."

"Will do."

Kei nodded stiffly. Now it seemed she was in a rush to say every little thing. Drake wanted to tell her that everything would be okay, that this was not goodbye, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. New York City was nice, but he kind of wanted to return home, to gay Brighton with its pebble beaches, fish and chips, chavs, eccentrics, seagulls and above all the weather. It was the mark of a true English patriot, they'd agreed once, to miss the English weather. He was really looking forward to some decent British rain, where everything looked so much greener and everything smelt so fresh afterwards. Next time it rained – as in, really, truly, bucketed it down – he'd go for a walk along the promenade on the beach, get thoroughly drenched and no doubt spend the rest of the day sneezing with a cold.

But half the fun of doing that was doing it all with Kei. And half the pain was from knowing that she probably wanted the same.

"Sis?"

Kei's eyes watered as she smiled at his pet name for her. "Yeah, bro?"

"Love you."

Kei choked and then flung her arms round her best friend and was practically lifted off her feet by his returning bear hug. "Love you too, bro."

She heard him sniff and he burrowed his head into her shoulder. Her tears finally streamed down her face, silently and without fuss. She only ever really sobbed when things were helpless, when things were lost forever. She cried now because she would miss him, because the time before she would next see him again would feel very very long. Because it was going to _hurt like hell_. But she'd be damned if she didn't see her best friend again soon. The Atlantic Ocean could do its best, but no stretch of land or sea would really part them for long.

"Christmas?" Kei asked when they parted, both of them wiping their red faces.

"Here or in Brighty?"

"Hmmm, probably Brighty, can't say for sure. Depends on what Dad wants to do too. If we go anywhere I'll make sure you get a ticket."

Drake smiled, really properly smiled. Everything would be ok…

Blair came back just as the last call sounded out, and he shook her hand, sincere when he told her it was nice to have met her, and that he hoped he'd meet her again in the future. Kei was right about her: she had character, and she had intrigue. He'd have to ask Kei for updates on how things went between Blair and her admirer at the party.

And then, with one last "see you later", he was gone.

* * *

_Oww..._

Jenny finally came back to life, if it could really be called 'life', way after noon on Saturday. The light was too bright, making the headache seemingly a thousand times worse, and her stomach was not happy.

Not happy at all.

"Afternoon, sunshine."

_Oh no... No no no no no, not Dad..._ Jenny groaned as her stomach gurgled slightly. _Oh God, what was in that punch?_

That's called alcohol, Little J.

"Here, drink this."

Jenny tried opening her eyes a little more, but it was still too bright. A glass of something fizzy was put in her hand, and as Jenny took a gulp, she could just imagine her father's seemingly patient and highly disapproving stare. It took only five words from him to know that he wasn't impressed with his fifteen-year-old daughter's conduct. The fizzy stuff didn't taste brilliant, but at least she felt a little better already. Already her stomach was being placated. Slowly.

The same was not, however, likely to happen with Rufus Humphrey. Slowly or not.

Jenny finally opened her eyes properly to take in her surroundings. She was in her room - which wasn't the last place she remembered being in - the garage door was down, and she was lying on top of her bed covers with a blanket tucked in around her. Her shoes were placed neatly on the floor, which told her it probably wasn't her who took them off. She was still dressed in her party dress, which felt sweaty and sticky, and was creased and misshapen.

She'd hadn't the faintest idea how she'd got there.

"Your friend called last night." Rufus said, in answer to the confused look on Jenny's face at her surroundings. "She asked me what was the best way to get you home safely. I picked you up in the van. Which you're cleaning out today, by the way."

Jenny groaned again. _Oh God... Hang on a minute, 'friend'?_

"Who called..."

Rufus frowned, trying to cool his disappointment from growing. It didn't really surprise him that Jenny couldn't remember. "Your friend, Kei. She helped you into the van."

That just made Jenny feel even worse. Kei had helped her? _Kei_? She must have made such a fool of herself...

As Jenny agonised over having potentially embarrassed herself, her father went over his memories of last night, wondering where to start. He'd been happily asleep, dreaming of his band days, of picnics when the kids were much much younger and when he was happily married, of Lily... when the phone rudely rang. At first he'd been tempted to disconnect the phone out of irritation, then tempted to pick up and lobby sarcastic abuse down the line, until he remembered that both his kids were out. Maybe it was one of them: Dan was at a party with Serena; Rufus trusted that he'd keep out of trouble, although knowing his son's girlfriend's family you never knew what could happen. Jenny was at a sleepover; maybe she'd had a falling-out and wanted to come home or something.

Or something indeed, it turned out.

Instead of one of his children, it was a voice he'd never heard before, and had clearly never heard his voice before either.

"Mr... err... I'm sorry, but are you Jenny's dad?"

He'd answered in the affirmative, his mind still groggy enough from sleep to really note the unusual phrase.

"Oh, hi, I'm so sorry to call you so late. I'm a friend of Jenny's, she's... err... a little worse for wear, and Dan's left already with Serena and Eric, I was wondering what's the best way of getting her home, I don't really want to just stick her in a cab and hope for the best."

That woke him up. A little while later Rufus had pulled up outside The Silver Sakura on Madison and was swiftly introduced to a Japanese looking girl with a British accent and a blue-haired boy dressed in red, the two teenagers practically carrying his daughter to keep her upright. Immediately the girl launched into apologies, apologies for calling him so late, apologies for not keeping a better eye on what Jenny had been drinking, let alone how much of it, for not realising that Jenny was going to be drinking when she shouldn't, for assuming that Jenny knew bet-

There the girl realised she'd said too much, but was forced to quickly focus entirely on helping Jenny into the van, holding back Jenny's messed up hair when she suddenly threw up the entire contents of her stomach, which must have contained a fair amount of cranberry juice, or something else red, no doubt mixed in with a whole load of things that Rufus hadn't imagined would be there. Most of it went into the gutter because Kei had quickly pulled Jenny back, having spotted the reflex, but unfortunately for Jenny some of it went on the seat she'd been trying to climb on to. Kei had immediately, without complaint or prompt, found some tissues and cleaned up the vomit as best she could and helped Jenny into the van once more. She'd made her apologies again to Rufus and waited at the sidewalk as he pulled away, genuine sober concern written on her face.

At the time he'd been furious, close to exploding at this girl, at Jenny, hell even at the random passerbys who stared as they walked past. But he didn't because he couldn't help but be vaguely impressed. Perhaps that wasn't the right word, but it was about as close as he could get to why he held on to his temper. The girl worked so swiftly and calmly, getting Jenny up and moving, trying to save the upholstery - twice - and being so sincere. It gave her immunity from his wrath: here was a teenager who had readily admitted that she was at fault for something, regardless of the fact that, let's face it, it was mostly Jenny who was to blame for the state she'd gotten herself into. Rufus knew his daughter well enough to know that more often than not, Jenny did know what she was doing: she just didn't care enough about it.

And it was that thought that made Rufus leave the conversation he'd intended to have until later. What difference would it make?

* * *

The journey back to Manhattan was a quiet one. The driver at first looked delighted to have two beautiful girls in the back of his cab, but an icy look from Blair and the unhappiness that oozed out of Kei swiftly shut him up. Blair didn't know whether to just let the silence be, or whether she should say something to cheer Kei up - though she didn't have a faintest idea of what to say - or whether she should just talk about any random thing and hope the change of subject would be a relief. She was waiting for a sign, something to suggest the best course of action. A look or a sigh even, anything that would tell her what kind of mood Kei wanted. But Kei just sat back in the seat and stared out of her window, her face completely turned away. Blair wished it was dark: then she might have caught a reflection of the window. Eventually she gave up: if Kei wanted cheering up then she would give a sign; there was sense in waiting for it. So Blair just stared straight ahead, waiting.

Then she heard Kei sniff.

Turning back to her friend, Blair was horrified to find Kei's shoulders shaking, silently sobbing. With an involuntary gasp Blair shifted over and pulled Kei into a hug, a hug which Kei didn't fight against in any way. Instead she held on as Blair stroked her hair soothingly. She cried quietly, practically limp as opposed to tense, resigned to her grief. Blair had never seen anything like it: always on the rare occasion that she actually found someone crying they cried with reluctance, fighting the indignity of showing pain. There was an indulgence in Kei's tears, one that people didn't normally allow because they hated crying. There was nothing like that in Kei. Her tears slowly dried up by themselves, when she had no more tears left, when she'd calmed down without forcing it. No deep breaths for her, no visible pulling of herself together: the pieces that had loosened naturally fitted once more, albeit not perfectly. She patted Blair's arm, a sign of gratitude, and sat up but didn't pull away. Blair couldn't help but admire her: Kei's red cheeks, tired eyes and tear stains hadn't damaged Kei's pride, her dignity, or even Blair's esteem for her. Indeed there was a dignity to her pain: a pride in owing up to the fact that her friend's departure had hurt, a pride in the fact that Drake meant so much to her.

Blair envied her freedom... how odd to envy someone's pain...

"You know what I need?"

Blair pulled herself from her thoughts. "No, what?"

Kei turned her head and looked Blair solemnly in the eye. "Retail therapy."

* * *

**Good morning Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here. For all those who foolishly didn't turn up to the right party, and the few who were too drunk on C's infamous punch to notice, here's what you missed:**

**SPOTTED: B, a goddess in an exclusive, specially designed Waldorf creation, very much the star of the party; and K, sexy and gorgeous, showing us all how it's done on the dance floor.**

**H abandoning her own party, gatecrashing in blue (didn't you read the dress code?) and quickly retreating at C's intervention. Who, by the way, looked his old devilish same: sex on legs, and utterly irresistible, considering the crowd he gathered. C: we have missed you.**

**J, in a very original number of unknown origin (but nevertheless very chic), much the worse for wear by the early hours, getting a lift home from Daddy, but not before heaving into the gutter, with Kei holding back her hair. Don't worry, J, you'll build a tolerance in no time.**

**N clashing horns with another gatecrasher: none other than young Master Baizen, who's not been seen much since Cotillion last year. What is it with those two boys? The Upper East Side is large enough for both their beauty. This time, however, CB's gorgeous face was rescued from danger by the fabulous hostess K. What ticked you off so badly, K? How can you resist our beloved N? Maybe because she's interested in older guys? CB and K looking very cosy together, before the Blue Hottie claimed her for a dance. Ah, so many attractive males, how does one choose?**

**So, who wants to earn a gold Gossip star by telling me what CB has been up to?  
**

**You know you love me,**

**XOXO Gossip Girl**

Carter Baizen was poring over his lecture notes when his laptop announced he had a new email. His eyes darted to the screen to read the sender and finally lifted his head from his notepad: it was an email alert from Gossip Girl.

When Carter returned to Manhattan last year he'd subscribed to Gossip Girl's blog out of curiosity, wondering what had happened to his successors. Through the screen, and a few personal appearances, he observed Serena's own return to New York City, the short feud between Queen Blair and her former BFF over, seemingly, Nate, which greatly amused him. Nathaniel Archibald reminded Carter of a sheep: he often provided evidence that his brain was made of wool, under a hot grill he'd shrivel up as the juice leaked out of him, and he was easy to shepherd about. A handsome sheep though, Carter had to give Nate that. But really worth fighting over? If Carter had been born a girl - and he was damn glad he'd hadn't - then he'd pass.

He watched as the triangle between Blair, Nate and Chuck unravelled so publicly, and then marvelled as the crown of the Upper East Side was competed over by some the lamest blondes he'd ever seen. He'd had a few blondes in his time, some lived up to their hair colour, others didn't. Usually the ones that didn't got to stick around a little longer. But this 'H' and 'Little J': not worth reading about. He skimmed over the updates, wondering when his favourite proteges would return to the spotlight, keeping an eye out for their names. They were, after all, his direct successors; he'd practically named them his heirs, and they should have been living up to their titles.

Then a new name appeared at the beginning of the school year, only a few weeks back. This 'New Girl', this 'K' caught his eye, and so he started paying more attention. When 'K' and Blair went to Noh he recognised one of his friends - Cosmo - in the background of the photos that Gossip Girl posted, and so sought an introduction.

Carter had missed Manhattan on his travels. He missed the social intrigue, the climbing and slipping in the hierarchies, the efforts that people made to get ahead. High school had been simple for him: turn up, be intelligent, excel with the minimum effort in his studies, and be lord of the class. With good looks, charm, wild parties and a girl on his arm (and maybe even a few behind the scene, depending on the arm-girl), Carter had reveled in his popularity. His philosophy was simple: you get to go to high school, where life is this ridiculous, only once. Whilst you're there, you might as well live at the top.

And then high school was over. His grades could take him anywhere, he didn't need his father to donate new buildings to Harvard. But he didn't want to go to Harvard. He didn't really want to do anything that his parents wanted and expected him to do. So he took advantage of his immense inheritance and escaped New York, and completely disappeared for a while into the world, to blaze a path that was his own, and no one else's. Unfortunately he eventually ran out of money, accumulated some hefty debts, and came back to beg forgiveness. The debts his father wouldn't help him out with, and Baizen senior didn't trust him enough to leave home once again to go to Harvard: Cambridge, Massachusetts was too far away to keep an eye on his wayward son. So Carter went to Columbia University, and was given a limo and driver to get him to classes every morning.

High school was the good old days. Travelling had been a dream, and he'd had no choice but to wake up, to return to family life, aka hell. But Carter needed no pity: his memories of better days when he didn't have a curfew sustained him. That and a good bottle of vodka, women, and occasionally a smoke of the herbal variety at a party. So he wasn't doing that bad. He'd learned how to tune out of his parents' inane dinner conversations years ago, and it was like riding a bike: even when out of practice, you don't forget how to do it.

And now, he'd met Kei. Who was stunning, for lack of a better word. He completely understood why Gossip Girl was making such a fuss. In the photos of Gossip Girl's page Kei stood out as vibrant and confident, and in person, particularly in her red corset top, she was fantastically sexy. Few women, that Carter had seen or heard of, excluded that kind of sexuality that told you to keep your hands off, no matter how much you wish you could do whatever you wanted with your hands. His experience of women thus far in his life, which was fairly extensive for his age, had been somewhat mixed: on his travels he'd met fantastic women from very different walks of life, women of considerable vitality. In Manhattan, he'd yet to meet (and claim) a girl or woman worthy of comparing with the exotic creatures he'd experienced. Maybe he finally had met one. He definitely liked the way she looked - that elegance of two very different cultures harmonising together - and he liked the way she'd talked even more. She wore her heart and opinions on her sleeve, whilst managing to keep her secrets close. Her opinions stretched further than the Upper East Side's conventions, and that didn't seem to bother her in the slightest. He envied her: his own opinions were so hazed over he wasn't sure what they were, or, more importantly, why he held them.

Every guy has his weakness, they say. For some it's red-heads, shyness, legs, or a certain laugh. For Carter, the sexiest thing a woman could possess was deserved confidence. Kei, he knew the moment he laid eyes on her, possessed that in precisely the right measure.

A pity then, that she was quite far out of his reach: he didn't have her cell phone number, or her email address, nor was he a friend of a friend. If he were to track her down, that would be verging on stalking, and Carter Baizen was far too cool for that. He'd just have to find a way in by attaining one of the three.

As it turned out, it required almost no effort on his part, except for obedience.

* * *

Monday was a very different kind of start to the week. The sun was out, the last of the summer before fall set in properly. And in the brightness, the stares of last week were a thing of the past. Now, people were actually talking to -

"Hi, Blair."

"Blair, how are you doing?"

"Blair, great party last friday!"

Gone were those looks of disapproval, or of sceptic scrutiny. The St Judes boys were looking at Blair as though she was melting ice-cream, something one couldn't say no to, whilst the Constance Billiards girls looked exactly as they did in Blair's former glory days: as someone whose word they hung on. _Everyone_ wanted in with Blair and Kei. The only exceptions - Hazel's lot - fumed at the sideline, ammunition exhausted, and the lower ranks appeared sorely tempted to jump ship. As she arrived with Serena, Blair basked internally at the attention. Finally, the positive looks weren't just directed at Serena, for Christ's sake. It was all about her once again.

God, she'd missed this. She could feel the difference in her very bones: she walked taller, with pride in her step, gorgeous in every eye focused at her. Serena's descriptions of a date with Humphrey disappeared into the background. Blair Waldorf was back. Victory tasted so sweet...

Until she heard Phil Collins. Huh?

_Oh the power to be strong,__  
And the wisdom to be wise:__  
All these things will come to you in time._

_On this journey that you're making,  
__There'll be answers that you'll seek,  
__And it's you who'll climb the mountain__,  
It's you who'll reach the peak._

_Son of man, look to the sky.__  
Lift your spirit, set it free.__  
Someday you'll walk tall with pride,  
Son of man, a man in time you'll be..._

"Hey."

Blair turned, and started walking even taller. Kei fell into stride with her, equal height in her old high-heeled boots (so much for all the shopping they did on the Saturday). Her headphones hung around her neck, from which issued Kei's current playlist: 'Bloody brilliant Disney'. Apparently, this playlist was the ultimate feel-good mixture. Even if it did consist of songs from a cartoon about a man raised by gorillas.

Though it seemed Kei didn't remotely care about some of the odd double-take looks she got when people realised it was from her mp3 player that long forgotten childhood was coming from. She simply put one of them back in one one ear, and listened to Serena's story with the other ear, the beat of the song recognisable in her step, humming so quietly Blair couldn't be sure she was doing it. From the expression on her face, she was clearly miles away, swinging through jungle trees.

For a moment, Blair wondered what on earth Kei was doing, behaving so oddly around _her_. For a moment, all she could do was worry that Kei was undoing all the hard work they'd put in to rise to the top. Then she noticed the girl properly.

_Though there's no one there to guide you,  
No one to take your hand,  
But with faith and understanding  
You will journey from boy to man._

_Son of man, look to the sky.  
Lift your spirit, set it free.  
Someday you'll walk tall with pride,  
Son of man, a man in time you'll be..._

She was no longer pale, nor drawn, nor horribly unhappy. It was still there, lingering, like a fading smell, that unhappiness. But gone were the tears of undeniable pain, gone was the tense tightness of a person pulling themselves together so much the pieces were grinding against each other, gone was the hopelessness. Instead, Kei was smiling faintly again, honestly. She was relaxed, calm, fresh-faced and ready to keep going as though nothing had happened, without denying that it had. She looked normal again, comfortable in her white shirt, navy school-girl skirt and tie hanging around her neck as always. She was strong again, _Kei_ again. Never mind that she was completely immersed in fiction at that moment: wherever she was in her head, it was a good place.

Phil Collins, it seemed, worked well when combined with Disney. And that's really all that mattered, Blair realised.

* * *

_In learning you will teach,  
And in teaching you will learn.  
You'll find your place besides the ones you love._

_Oh and all the things you dreamed of,  
The visions that you saw;  
Well, the time is drawing near now,  
It's yours to claim it all._

_Son of man, look to the sky.  
Lift your spirit, set it free.  
Someday you will walk tall with pride,  
Son of man, a man in time you'll be..._

Kei had spent the entire weekend taking advantage of Blockbuster and the Internet. Every movie that she'd loved through her life, she'd packed into one Sunday whilst doing her homework, taking full advantage of the ability to multi-task. As it turned out, it ended up being a classic Disney fest: _Sleeping Beauty_, _Cinderella_, _The Little Mermaid_, _Beauty and the Beast_, _Aladdin_, _Tarzan_, that silly squirrel scene in _The Sword in the Stone_, and thoroughly embarrassed herself by singing along, word for word, without even realising that she'd managed to remember the lyrics - something she never did - and being caught by her dad. Who started singing as well until she begged him not to because her stomach was hurting from laughing so much.

She hadn't seen her dad joke around like that for a while. It worked better than the movies.

The weekend had been okay, considering. She'd expecting it to be drowned with alcohol to numb the misery of Drake's departure, and instead it had been completely sober. She hadn't even done that much comfort eating, apart from a fresh patch of coconut buns. Saturday had been okay. She'd ended up spending quite a bit more than perhaps she should have done, but her dad didn't seem to mind. She'd got new shoes, new dresses, and something to wear for her 'date' with Nate, of which she hadn't heard anything yet, thank God. She hadn't been happy about having to get something for this charade, but having inspected her wardrobe, she didn't have anything fitting for it, except perhaps for her black funeral dress, but there was no way she was wearing that, no way she was ever going to associate it with Nathaniel Archibald; it was too disgraceful to her sensibilities.

Speaking of whom...

"Hi, Kei."

Kei almost growled out loud at hearing Nate's voice. Next to her Blair's step faltered, and the three girls stopped. Kei quickly glanced at the other two girl's faces. Serena looking flummoxed, as though she had no idea whether she should be glad to see Nate, glad to see he wasn't avoiding them any more, but also defensive because it wasn't her best friend he'd spoken to, because it was her best friend that he was either very effectively ignoring or hadn't even noticed. Blair's face was so tight with tension Kei desperately wanted to get her away. For a moment she completely forgot Nate and was about to pull Blair into school, until the twat spoke again.

"How does the Four Seasons sound?"

Blair's fists clenched. Kei had told her what happened shortly after in had at the party, had been completely honest about it all, so she knew it was coming, but she hadn't expected this. She hadn't expected to be _right there_ when Nate asked Kei out. And she hadn't expected him to take her to where they used to go. _God damn son of a..._

Then the tension disappeared when Kei swung round to face him, fury radiating out her body at a thousand degrees. "Fine, whatever." Then Kei turned away from him again, took Blair's arm and carried on walking up the steps.

"Seven? Do you want me to pick you up?"

This time Kei actually did growl, but only Blair, right beside her, heard, though she doubted it would have made too much of a difference if Nate had heard too. "No, I'll meet you there." The 'now get lost' that went unsaid wasn't picked up, so the two girls picked up their pace and headed into Constance Billiard, and left Nate behind.

"Good luck there, man."

Nate looked down to see Chuck sitting on the steps barely a few feet away, completely unnoticed by everyone, smirking at the action. The devil hadn't missed a trick. And, as he often did, Nate really wished that he and Chuck were still friends so he could ask what just happened. But Chuck was already getting on his feet, and was off to class before Nate could really think about it, about letting go. Why did they fall out again?

Oh yeah, Blair. Who was right there, in front of him when he talked to Kei. Who was friends with Kei.

Oh shit. No wonder it didn't make sense to him.

_Son of man, son of man's, a man for all to see.

* * *

44: Formula of my happiness: a Yes, a No, a straight line, a _goal_...

* * *

_**Disclaimer: Gossip Girl does not belong to me, and I'm sadly making no money from this. The quote at the top comes from _Beyond Good and Evil_ by Friedrich Nietszche, and the one at the button comes from his _Twilight of the Idols_. The song lyrics are from Phil Collins' _Son of Man_, and sadly that doesn't belong to me either.**

**I've finally finished my degree, results are in about two weeks (****, ****, and ****) and yes, I'm nervous as... as... something extremely nervous, ok? But for the last two months I've been taken over by dissertations - yes, plural, I had to do _two_ - and two three hour long exams. But that's all over, so I can finally return to my ever-lasting passions: writing, and watching Disney movies.**

**I feel like I ought to explain the song choice. When I was seventeen, which wasn't that long ago, I was still a kid. I don't give a damn what anyone else says, seventeen is young, really young, and the days when we used to play with Barbies and Action Man (or whatever), when we used to drag our teddy bears around wherever we went, and the idea of kissing a boy was something to giggle about rather than get tiggly about wasn't really _that_ far back in the past. But for this lot on Gossip Girl, they have to act like young adults. So for them, fairy tales and cartoons are a thing of the past, something to feel nostalgic about. For Kei, that nostalgia won't come around for a while yet: she's still on her journey to adulthood, still climbing the mountain, and her spirits soar far higher and far easier than anyone else's around her.  
**

**I hope you all like this chapter, the next will feature this date with Nate, which is going to be fabulous to write. I promise I'll throw in some Blair and Chuck too (no, not _that_ kind of Blair and Chuck... well, actually who knows? Lol), it's time to really mix things up. Please read and review! Take care all xx  
**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

_133: A person who does not know how to find the way to _his_ ideal lives more frivolously and more impudently than a person with no ideal._

_

* * *

_**NOTE: Blair's scenes and Kei's scenes don't chronologically follow.  
**_

* * *

_7.00pm. Nate had arrived five minutes earlier, like a proper gentleman, and was seated at his candle-lit table by the windows of the Four Seasons. He was in luck: he didn't think that the name Archibald had the same power as it used to, what with his father's scandals revealed in the papers. Maybe it was the Vanderbilt side of him that was working in his favour still. Whatever it was, he'd managed to skip the enormous reservation list: the Powers-That-Be were smiling on him tonight.

Or so he thought. After all, Kei wasn't there yet. So much for the champagne lounging in the bucket of ice.

7.01pm. If it had been Blair, she'd have been here by now, at 7.00 on the dot, almost to the second. But this wasn't Blair, this was Kei. And Lord knows what she'd do in terms of punctuality.

7.02. Nate shifted in his seat and stared out of the window, waiting, trying not to count the seconds on his watch like a total loser. From his seat he could see every person who entered or left anyways, mostly tourists doing both in the space of a minute when they realised the Four Seasons wasn't a tourist attraction. Anoraks and cameras weren't exactly the Four Seasons' dress code. They did give out dinner jackets, but you had to look smart enough in the first place, and you had to look like the price of your clothes far exceeded that of the dishes served. Tonight, Nate didn't need a spare jacket; he was sporting a classic charcoal Armani suit. He'd had to sneak out of the penthouse in order to avoid his mother's inevitable cooing over him. He knew what she would say: 'Are you going out with Blair again? You two should make up, get back together again, you two were so perfect.' He didn't really want to repeat excuses for Blair to cover up the fact that they broke up permanently because she cheated on him with his best friend. Chances were that wouldn't change his mother's opinion.

At 7.03 he spotted Kei crossing the street and was hit with an odd mix of emotions. Relief, that she was here, relatively on time. As for the other side…

For once, Nate had a bad feeling about this.

* * *

"Nate Archibald's table, please, he should be expecting me."

Kei took no offence at the quick check over the maître d' gave her, and smiled politely at his approval. "Right this way, miss." She followed him with a calm, business-like pace: no hurry, but no concealing the fact that she was here with an agenda to get on with. Her smile vanished when she saw Nate himself, rising out of his chair to greet her. She ignored Nate and thanked the maître d', sat down and let him push her chair forward for her. She missed the look of confusion on Nate's face, and leaned back in her chair as Nate sat down.

"Good to see you, Kei." Nate said, smiling warmly, trying to conceal his nervousness. He couldn't help but stare at what she was wearing: Nanette Lepore smart pants, jacket and shirt, her hair straight with very plain make-up. To Nate's disappointment and slight anxiety, she looked like she was there for a job interview. Looked from a certain point of view, that wasn't too far off the mark. She eyed the champagne with unimpressed disdain arching her eyebrow. Champagne, in Kei's book, was for celebrations and good times. This meeting was neither.

"Hungry?" Nate asked. Kei took a menu from the maître d' and did a one-second skim over it.

"We'll see."

* * *

**SPOTTED: N and K, table for two at the Four Seasons. Looks like Kei couldn't resist after all. So where's the ex, N? at the Palace Bar, nursing a Cosmo. Cheer up, B: K seems to be needing some cheering up too, this is playing hard-to-get to its extreme.**

Blair groaned quietly to herself as she went through the short update, which came complete with photos of the Four Seasons. She took a sip of her Cosmo as she studied the shots carefully, taken from outside the restaurant through the window. Nate was leaning forward, with the puppy-dog adoration that he'd only ever shown Serena in the 'Good Old Days', but he was visibly tense with nervousness. No wonder: Kei, by stark contrast, was sitting ramrod straight in her chair, sitting as far back in her seat as possible, which tilted the corners of Blair's mouth up a little. The expression on her face was priceless; so icy cold it could rival one of Blair's own famous glares. The suit Blair helped Kei pick out over the weekend was working like a charm, just as they'd intended: the dining couple looked more like they were discussing shareholdings, although from the look of it, chances were Kei was barely talking at all.

Blair wondered why Kei disliked Nate so much. She wondered whether it was because of what she'd told her the very first day they met (which felt like a long time ago now), and that Kei's dislike was based on indignation on Blair's behalf. If that was the case, Blair couldn't help but appreciate it, appreciate Kei's loyalty: not even Serena had faulted Nate too much over the whole affair. But it felt a little extreme for Kei. Kei was the type to need her own reasons to judge someone or something, not the reasons of others. Which brought Blair back to Square One: why did Kei dislike Nate?

She finished her drink and beckoned to the bartender. Just as she was about to open her mouth to speak -

"My usual, Rob, and another Cosmo for the lady."

Blair's eyes widened as Chuck Bass, of all people, had the nerve to remove her bag from the seat next to her and sat down. Then she rallied and sat up straighter.

"I was thinking of ordering a -" _Think of a cocktail name… _"- Screwdriver, actually." _Of all the drinks… here it comes_. She didn't even have to look to sense Chuck's immediate smirk.

"You should have said. I'm sure we could arrange getting you one. Or just a screw, in fact." Blair felt, rather than saw, Chuck's eyes sweep over her body lewdly, and she fought the instinct to sit up even straighter, to refine her posture even more. She raised an eyebrow and finally turned her head to meet his gaze. Again she fought instinct, this time to do exactly what he'd just done, to sweep her eyes over _his_ body. But still, she took in the perfectly tailored suit, gold cuff links, pale pink shirt, buttons undone just enough for a trademark navy silk scarf at his neck. It wasn't fair: what was he doing looking this good and saying things like that?

He was being Chuck Bass. Which he hadn't been, she realised suddenly, for a long time.

"So," she said, turning away to her new drink, "Bass is back, then."

Her meaning didn't escape him. They both knew that neither of them had been their old selves for a long time, too long, and there was no advantage to either to deny it: it would only make them look ignorant, and out of touch with the world. With a smirk and a nod to the side, "I wasn't ever really gone, Waldorf. I've just been waiting for the right time to return to form, that's all." Chuck said, giving a slight bow, a little like a theatre actor introducing himself on the stage.

"What were you waiting for?"

The words were out before Blair could stop them. For a moment she kicked herself inside for being so unguarded, and then the silence hit her, and curiosity won through. She had, for once, rendered Chuck Bass speechless.

There was no comeback to that. If there was, Chuck wouldn't be holding back. He could say, he supposed, that the right time was when Blair was restored to her glory as a true player in the upper echelons of Constance Billiard's society, but firstly that gave her too much ammunition, and secondly it wasn't even all that true to bother saying. The quip about the screwdriver had simply popped into his head, as all his other quips did, and this time had been voiced with hesitation. He didn't ask why he said it because it felt normal. So he gave Blair no reply, and innocently watched as Blair began to almost invisibly buckle under embarrassment over her question's frank curiosity. Blair Waldorf was never curious about the inner-goings-on of Chuck Bass' mental being, or indeed anything else about his being for that matter.

Then, like a gentleman, he came to her rescue. After a fashion, anyway. "So, how's Nathaniel getting on with Argen?"

Blair frowned, at the subject change, the question, and indeed his choice of name for Kei. Maybe 'Katayama-Argen' was too much of mouthful to use. "Didn't you see Gossip Girl's latest?" She asked, sickly-sweetly, trying to keep the condescending tone light. No point in rubbing him up the wrong way… or the right way for that matter (_ew… poor choice of words, Waldorf_). She wanted to know what he was doing here: pissing him off wouldn't aid her in finding out.

"Have you not heard from Kei herself? I would have thought she'd send progress reports."

She gave him a sharp look. They weren't fourteen, when Blair sometimes used to text Serena how her dates with Nate were going, particularly when she had gifts to bestow that she was nervous about. "No point: we both know the outcome of tonight." Blair said, coldly.

"Is that so?" Chuck said, his curiosity piqued. "I wonder," he began, taking his phone out to look at Gossip Girl's latest snapshots, "if Nathaniel knows it too by now."

Blair glanced at the photo on Chuck's cell, of Nate staring at Kei over the table as she read her menu, and, glaring, turned back to her drink and took a big gulp, almost finishing the cocktail off. Chuck's eyebrows rose a little and he took a contemplative sip of his drink. He needed a little Scottish courage before attempting to avoid an angry-drunk Blair Waldorf: a pretty frightening sight.

"Waldorf, what are you doing here?"

She glared at him icily. "Funny, I could ask you the same thing."

"Last week you threw a party that everyone's talking about, you're at the top of your game again, with Hazel and Jenny in stalemate, you have people loyal to you, and -"

_And here I am, back in the same bar where, the last time we properly talked, you compared me to a horse._

"And here I am, drowning my sorrows with you for company," Blair interrupted sarcastically, tossing her stray thought back to the back of her mind.

"- And look where Nate is."

Blair frowned, losing Chuck's reasoning for a moment. Then, facing him, she caught it again, and couldn't help smiling calculatingly. "On a date he got through blackmail with a girl who can't stand the sight of him."

Chuck met her smile with his own smirk and raised his glass. Mission accomplished. "Precisely."

Blair gave him her player's smile, victorious for winning back her good spirits. She hadn't smiled like that in a long time. The Game had resumed. God, she'd missed this…

"Good point." She raised her glass to his and silently toasted with him. They both downed the rest of their drinks, and Chuck gestured to the bartender to keep them coming.

This could be interesting._

* * *

_"Could you give me a few more minutes, please?"

The excuse was fairly legitimate. For the last twenty minutes, at least, it seemed half the restaurant had come over to say hello to Nate, and to be introduced to his 'date'. It was almost funny how easy it was to tell the intelligent from the ditsy: the ditsy didn't notice how fake her smiles were. The ditsy also happened to be the most annoying. They didn't notice that she didn't want to introduce herself, that she didn't know nor care who any of them were, and that it was immensely irritating having to explain that, yes, that cute British accent of hers was indeed British, that (on one occasion) she wasn't Chinese, and that she was half Japanese.

She was in a bit of a bad mood. She didn't want to be there, surrounded by these self-worshippers. Nor was she interested in eating... Hudson Valley Foie Gras with Champagne Strawberries... three different types of oysters (which always looked, and tasted, like snot in shells to her)... Brooklyn Ricotta Ravioli with _stinging nettles_? Followed by... Loin of Spring Rabbit, Pea-mashed Potatoes and Tomato Sausage... Filet of Bison, Fois Gras, and Perigord Truffle Sauce... Saga Wagyu Rib Eye, Au Jus (ok, that sounded quite something, she knew what a big deal wagyu beef was, her father raved about it). The place had a wooden spoon up its own arse.

Admittedly some of the items on the menu she would have actually liked to try. But she was the daughter of a former chef and restaurant entrepreneur; her parents had always taught her a love of cooking, and she loved the feeling of success when something she made, from scratch, came out brilliantly. Cooking rare delicacies every once in a while was the icing on the cake. Here, at this restaurant, it was all cake with no icing. If Nate had wanted any chance of success, he should have thought twice about taking the daughter of the owner of The Silver Sakura chain to another restaurant. It was so fancy it wasn't really all that appetising for her. Thus, she had an answer to Nate's first question: no, she wasn't hungry. At least not for stinging nettles and tomato sausages, or Classic Caesar Salad followed by Maine Lobster, which Nate had just ordered.

So, down to business. Where to begin?

"You've got some nerve..."

Nate looked up from his glass of champagne (she'd declined) with alarm at the coldness of her tone. "What...?"

"Well, for starters, how about blackmailing me into coming here?" She glared at him and tossed her menu on to the table.

"I-I..."

"Then there's asking me in front of your ex-girlfriend, my friend."

"I-I didn't -"

"I came here tonight because I don't like people holding broken promises over my head, and to tell you that this will be the only time you'll ask me out." Kei's face was static, and ice cold, and her voice calm and collected, never rising above the din so no one else but Nate could hear. For a frightening moment, Nate thought she looked like Blair. "I don't like you. Get that into your head. I'm not playing hard-to-get, like this idiot thinks I am." She waved her cellphone, Gossip Girl's blog on the screen. He frowned; he hadn't read it yet. "The Four Seasons might have been one of Blair's favourite places, but guess what? I'm not Blair. Did that not occur to you? That the daughter of a restaurant owner would find it a little boring to go to another restaurant?"

"I thought -"

"I don't imagine thinking took a great part in the formation of your plans, Archibald." Kei interrupted. "Or did you think I'd be _impressed_?" She scoffed. "How unoriginal. Did you not also think that Blair might have told me what you did to _her_?"

Nate's face fell. _Shit..._

"Like I said, you've got some nerve. To cheat on your long-time girlfriend with her best friend, and keep quiet about it until finally it won over _your_ conscience. Never mind how much it was going to hurt someone you professed to caring about." Kei suddenly smiled ironically. After all, in a cruel world it was funny. "And then, after she finally breaks up with you and finds happiness with someone else, you steal her away from them because you want her again. So what that maybe she was glowing because she was happier without you? All that mattered was that you wanted her back, right? Because you two were so _perfect_ together, _meant to be_." She scoffed again. "And then, the icing on the cake: you break up with her because the person who'd been making her happy when you were apart turns out to be _your_ best friend." She started chuckling coldly. Then, unnervingly, she stopped and stood up. "If there's one thing I don't like, besides selfishness and cheaters, it's _hypocrites_."

"Is everything alright, miss?" The maitre d' asked, appearing at her side.

She turned to him with a polite smile. "Everything's fine, thank you. I'm afraid circumstances call me away, but Mr. Archibald will be staying. My apologies for the mix-up." Then she turned to Nate. "See you around, _N_."

And then she was gone, head held high, unflustered, unhurried, and absolutely sure of was a sight to behold. A single thought ran through the mind of the maitre d': _just like Miss. Waldorf_.

Precisely as Kei and Blair had intended. Mission accomplished.

Hopefully.

* * *

**SPOTTED: Here's a sight for sore eyes: B and C, three sheets to the wind, toasting... reconciliation? Or perhaps the beginning of another of their schemes? Let us hope the latter, I can't wait to see what delicious gossip this will bring.**

"I am _not_ 'three sheets to the wind'!"

Sure, Blair.

The game started after Blair's fourth Cosmo. They switched to tequila shots after Blair dared Chuck that she could drink him under the table. Considering that Chuck was renown for easily drinking _anyone_ they knew under the table, it wasn't the best of ideas. Chuck bet her that she couldn't last after her third tequila, that she would live up to the favourite rhyme of many of tourist and student: one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. She'd just smirked and ordered the bartender to keep them coming.

One tequila. Two tequila. Three tequila. Four?

Five tequila. Six tequila. Seven tequila...

Door.

They were now stumbling down... some block... they didn't know any more, mostly because they were paying no attention to where they were going. It was an odd sight: Blair Waldorf, dressed in a Zac Posen skirt and blouse, swaying slightly in her Christian Louboutin boots, former angel of the Upper East Side, arm-in-arm with Chuck Bass, who was just as drunk as she was.

"Waldorf," he began, and then had to stop himself from walking into a lamp-post, "where did you learn to hold your drink?"

She giggled, and started spinning slowly. "There was this bar not far from where my dad's villa is in France." She slowed down, just turning on the spot, or multiple spots, as she couldn't stay in the same spot. "Did _very_ good cocktails there." She giggled again. "There was this boy." Staring at the darkened sky, she completely missed Chuck tense. "We used to play drinking games, with all the different drinks there. And a lot of wine, lot of wine." She giggled again, missing again Chuck's jaw lock, heavy sobriety creeping up on him. "He was drinking to his ex-boyfriend, I believe, but," she suddenly looked down from the sky to Chuck, missing the look of relief that swept away the tension, "don't tell anyone I said that." She whispered and then giggled again, walking backwards... into another lamp-post.

As she burst into laughter Chuck grabbed her to hold her up she started to teeter on her boots, laughing too at her antics. His own lack of coordination proved fortuitous: they ended up practically chest-to-chest, and almost nose-to-nose.

The sudden feel of Chuck's heartbeat, the warmth of his body, his scotch laced breath, his hands on her elbows holding her... it all pulled Blair down from the sky, and whilst the world was still spinning, they were not. Wherever she had been, care-free and soaring, where she had been unaware of pain, of regret, of past offences, of fear... she was suddenly wrenched from that place. The alcohol felt heavy on her brain, in her stomach, and she couldn't fly any more. She'd wanted to fly some more... flying was innocent: having her mind up in the air meant she didn't have to feel how good it felt to be touched, to be held, to feel someone else's body heat so close to hers. Now, that was _all _she could feel, and it was so nostalgic it was suffocating. So she looked away, and fell upon the first thing that could help her escape.

"Isn't that your limo?"

Chuck frowned and turned his head. Sure enough, there was the limo, trailing along after them, like a very odd surveillance tail. Behind it the traffic was making a fuss, but the limo, with its blacked-out windows, was unperturbed. Chuck let go of Blair and walked up to the front window as the car came to a stop and window wound down. The chauffeur nodded his head at Chuck's greeting and asked whether Master Bass required the limo at all. Chuck turned his head as Blair nearly crashed into him at his side. "Want to go anywhere, Waldorf?"

Blair bent slightly to wave to the chauffeur, who again nodded his head, expressionless. Then she stood up and thought for a moment. The space had made her lighter again. Then a cloud went over. "It's Monday, isn't it?" He nodded, uncertain where this was going. "School tomorrow." She pulled a disappointed face, as though she were five and she'd been told she couldn't go to the park today because it was raining. "Home."

Chuck turned and walked down the length of the limo to the passenger door and opened it for her. Just as she was going to get in she stopped, turned and fixed him a look. "Behave."

He raised an eyebrow and smirked. "I always behave." All he got as she got in the car was her own eyebrow raised: _yeah, right_. He smirked as he got in after her and gave the address to the chauffeur. When he closed the door, the sound felt so final, as though he'd just trapped both of them in a cage, one they'd have to fight to get out of now.

* * *

Kei marched out of the Four Seasons fuming. She took a moment to breathe and recollect herself, and then pulled out her phone and tried hailing a cab. The former was a quick success, and she immediately pressed speed-dial 4; 1 was voice mail, 2 was her dad's cell, 3 was Drake's mobile, and 4 was now Blair. The latter proved ineffective, particularly as she wasn't paying much attention because of her phone dialling. In the end, the entire multi-task proved fruitless: the call went to Blair's voice mail, and she didn't get a cab either. This was not good: she didn't want Nate catching up with her.

"Kei?"

She turned, surprised, recognising the voice. Her brain quickly scrambled for a name - "Carter?"

Carter gestured to a middle-aged couple with him to go into the Four Seasons without him and went over to her. His eyes swiftly studied what she was wearing, and she felt the familiar unease she got when guys did that, but it proved to be only a flicker: his eyes quickly returned to her face... and stayed there. "This where you're meeting Archibald then?" He sounded amused. *

"Not meeting," she corrected, "met already."

He laughed. "Great success then." He looked up at the exterior of the restaurant. "Doesn't your father own a chain of restaurants?" She nodded. "Right... and coming here was Nate's idea or yours?"

"His."

He laughed again. "And when did you meet?"

"About half an hour ago."

He smirked and faced her again. "Well done, Archibald. What was it, did he say something?" She frowned, not understanding his meaning. "That made you leave so soon."

"Nothing he said exactly. Just..." She thought for a moment for the best summary. "He's not my type, that's all."

"Well, in that case he has my pity for once."

"Why's that?" She asked, smiling, intrigued about where this was going.

"He got turned down by you."

She gave him a look, saying how corny the line was, but chuckling all the same. "Yeah, well, he can't have everyone thinking he's Adonis or something, that would just get boring." She frowned to herself for a moment, wondering just how accurate that thought was.

"What are you doing now?" She turned back to Carter, and his easy, unassuming smile instantly made her forget the potential inner turmoil of the boy she'd just ditched. "I'm guessing you didn't get to eat before you left."

"I don't know yet, I was going to call Blair, but she's not picking up." Just as she lifted her phone to emphasise her point, it beeped with Gossip Girl's latest. Kei excused herself to read the update, barely noticing Carter digging his own cell out to do the same.

**SPOTTED: C exiting the van der Bass townhouse, and entering the Palace Bar. Need I say more? Keep watching this space...**

Kei couldn't help it: all she could do was smirk. No wonder Blair wasn't picking up, she probably hadn't even noticed her phone ringing. Slowly the smirk morphed into a simple smile.

"Well, to answer to your question," she said, making Carter lift his head from his own cell, his own smirk vanishing, "I don't know what I'm doing now, I had intended to go see Blair, but I don't think I'll need to now." She tried and partially failed to keep from grinning. Then she remembered the couple with Carter. "What are you up to now?"

He grimaced slightly. "Monday tradition: Four Seasons with my parents." He looked up at the building again, giving Kei time to study the look of reluctance growing before he turned back to her. "Do you want to go for a coffee or something?"

She couldn't help but be taken aback. "But... your parents -"

"- can do without me for once. All that happens is they order the same things: my father'll have the mixed seafood and my mother will have either the Caesar salad or the lettuce and Camembert, followed by the duck and the crab cakes; and Father will ask me for a progress report on things at Columbia whilst we wait for the appetizers; and then my mother will converse with the rest of the restaurant whilst Father watches over me, afraid I'll misbehave and make of fool of myself and an embarrassment of the Baizen name." He said, sarcasm and frustration weighing heavier as he spoke. He came to a stop, surprised at his honesty. He looked over at Kei, a little afraid of what he'd see in her eyes. He'd expected alarm, pity, or condescension, or a mixture of the three. He didn't find any: he couldn't help but feel relieved to see that all she'd done was listen, and nothing else. No judgement. Then she suddenly smiled.

"So you won't miss much, then?"

It took a second, but he chuckled, grateful at how easily she broke the tension.

"I'm afraid I don't drink much coffee." She said, gently. He tried not to feel disappointed, tried not to feel just as rejected as Nate had been not so long ago. "I drink hot chocolate though." Carter looked up from the floor in surprise, took in the slight teasing smirk that was struggling to be hidden on Kei's face, and tried not to grin like an idiot himself. Whatever kind of expression he managed, she met it with a smile of her own.

Whoever it was that took the photos of Nate and Kei through the Four Seasons' windows should have stuck around: it would have made good gossip, if only someone had seen Carter and Kei get into a cab and drive off to make the most of that eventful night.

* * *

_139: In revenge and in love, women are more barbaric than men.

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_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, or Friedrich Nietzsche's 'Beyond Good and Evil'. Sadly. And I don't make any money out of this. Also sadly.  
**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter, please review and let me know what you think. Next chapter will be due... err... sometime. By the way, I know people who can drink that much tequila and remain standing, but they are essentially dead the next day due to the hangover. I don't recommend it. Also I just liked the line lol.**

**Take care xx  
**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

_169: Talking a great deal about yourself can also be a means of hiding.  
_

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* * *

_

"So tell me, why do your parents insist on your presence for Monday dinner?"

Kei and Carter were sitting in a booth in a small diner Carter had recommended. They both looked out of place, both in formal suits, but no one said anything, or looked at them oddly. There was something eccentric about the place, where everyone else's eccentricities were accepted as par for the course. The very Latin chef greeted Carter with a greasy handshake and a hefty slap on the shoulder, as though they had not met in a long time, speaking in incredibly fluent Portuguese. Kei didn't understand a word beyond what many school years of learning Latin-rooted languages could teach her to recognise, but she was impressed that Carter was clearly following every word with not too much trouble, and replying in jerky slow sentences. The chef listened back patiently, laughed with approval, addressed Kei as _Bonita_, and yelled at a waitress in heavily accented English to show the two to a table.

So now they were waiting for their order: a chilli-cheeseburger for Carter, and a beef burger (with no salad _in_ the burger, Kei had politely insisted), both with fries whilst they sipped on enormous chocolate milkshakes, greedily sucking on brightly coloured straws. Way, _way_ nicer than stinging nettles at the Four Seasons, and, to the relief of their empty bellies, quite a bit more than coffee and hot chocolates.

"It's to keep me in check." Carter answered. At Kei's curious frown, he smirked. "After high school I disappeared around the world, to my parents' disapproval. When I got back I was broke, in debt, and so went back to my parents." The smirk dissolved. It wasn't really impressive enough to warrant a smirk. "They were kind of pleased to see me, I think mostly so they could say 'I told you so'. They'd wanted me to go to Harvard, like my father, and his father, and _his_ father. I really pissed them off when I left a note saying I didn't want to go to college after all and was catching a flight to Mexico City with my inheritance from my grandfather. And then I went to Cuba. And then Peru. And then Brazil. China. Russia. And a whole bunch of places."

Across from him, Kei blinked. "Wow."

Carter grinned. "Yeah…"

"What's that got to do with going to the Four Seasons?"

He laughed. No fooling her, it seemed. "It's kinda part of the deal I made with my father when I came back. I was to go to college, Harvard preferably, but they wouldn't let me in again, despite Father's generosity. My interview didn't go _that _well, you see." Kei chuckled, imagining the scene. "I decided on Columbia instead. I like New York, it's a good place to be as a student, and Columbia's a good college. Anyway, in order to appease Father, I've gotta major in Business, or Law, or something prestigious and to my father's tastes and expectations, not something I'd like to do. And I have to live with them, my parents I mean, not in the college dorms, so I stay out of trouble. And, mostly importantly, I have to keep up appearances with my family. Hence, dinner at the Four Seasons with Mother and Father, along with half of their socialite friends. In return, I get an allowance, and they don't disown me again."

"Again?" Kei spluttered, nearly choking on her milkshake. "They actually disowned you because you went travelling?" Carter nodded. "But… why?"

Carter leaned in with a look of bemusement. "They're control freaks, Kei." He leaned back in his seat. "Their expectations are the law. Any deviation, or at the very least _public_ deviation, is not acceptable. I was expected to go to Harvard, graduate, begin a lucrative career in New York's fashionable high society, get married, produce Baizen heirs, and expect the same things of them too." He shrugged, carefully concealing how he felt about that status quo. "You're friends with Blair Waldorf, right?" Kei nodded. "Her mother's no different. You met her?" Kei shook her head. Carter laughed. "Good luck with her. It's like she's got a rusty spring up her ass. No offence to Blair, but it does explain a lot. _All_ of our parents explain a lot about their children."

Kei chuckled for a moment, but her smile slowly weakened as she thought about his words. How much did her parents explain who she was? Then she smiled with a new thought.

"Not always." She said. Carter tilted his head, curious. "My dad's parents are very upper class; my grandmother's even descended from aristocracy. As far as I can tell, they just own things: businesses, real estate, but they don't actually seem to manage any of it, they pay other people to do that. They just buy or sell their property when the timing's right. They're pretty good at it, or have someone good who tells them when, 'cos they're pretty well off: they live on this estate in the Cotswolds, very nice place actually. But they're very conservative. They wanted my dad to go to Oxford or Cambridge, study law or something, something that would make him set for life essentially. Except Dad didn't want that either. When he was at school he made friends with the more middle and working class kids, the ones that got into his exclusive private school on merit alone. He's still friends with most of them, they're like the uncles I don't actually have."

She suddenly grinned, her eyes bright with happy memories. "One of the them, Alan, moved to Brighton and opened a gay club near the seafront. He's the one who recommended my parents move to Brighton when Mum was pregnant with me. 'Best place to bring up children', he told them. He was damn right." She giggled all of a sudden. "Campest man I've ever met. He used to tell me I should call him 'my fairy godfather'." The giggles and grins slowly fizzled out. "I miss him."

Carter studied her for a few moments, letting her think and remember. "What's that got to do with our parents?" He asked, smirking. If she wasn't going to let him get away with drifting off topic, then neither would he.

She laughed. "Well, for a bit, my dad went along with what his parents wanted. He went to Oxford to do a four year Masters degree in law. That's where he met my mum, in first year." She smiled, remembering the story. "She was there as an exchange student to learn English. And when she went back to Tokyo, Dad went with her. He got a job as a kitchen boy after his parents disinherited him when they found out he had no intention of returning to Oxford. He was lucky: the owner of the restaurant was a pretty liberal guy, and he, Yukio, taught my dad how to cook Japanese food. My dad loved it, he quickly became the sous chef, and when Yukio retired, Dad bought his restaurant so that Yukio's hopeless sons wouldn't inherit and crash the restaurant. Eventually, one restaurant became two, then three, then…" She started counting on her fingers. When she ran out, she shrugged. "A good few now." She put her hands down and smiled proudly. "My dad's one of the best, well-rounded, well-grounded people I know. Albeit a die-hard romantic. He definitely didn't get that from his folks."

Carter smiled at that, smiled at her pride and affection for her father. He envied her: he couldn't remember a time in his life when he'd felt the same with regard to his own father. He told her so, and was surprised when she just smiled sadly. "Damn lucky, aren't I?"

He nodded. Yeah, she was.

"Anyway, as interesting a subject as I am," Carter teased, winking at her to make sure she knew he wasn't that conceited… well, that he didn't _mean_ to be, anyway. "And as interesting a subject as our parents are, I want to know more about you."

Kei laughed. "Ok. What about me?"

"Well, what do we know about you…" he teased. He leaned forward and starting ticking points off his fingers on one hand. "Seventeen years old. British citizen, born and raised in Brighton, East Sussex. Moved to New York only a few months ago. Father owns the international Silver Sakura chain of Japanese restaurants. Distantly descended from British aristocracy. Has a fairy godfather… what else?"

Kei chuckled nervously, suddenly shy. She wasn't used to being put under a microscope like this. "I don't know. What do you want to know, Mr. Detective?"

Carter smirked at the title. Alright, he did sound like he was compiling a report for a private detective or something. Then he eased the smirk into a more relaxing smile, fully aware he might be stepping into mined territory. "You said your mom was from Tokyo. Where is she now?"

Carter was right. Kei froze for a second, and that second said everything. In that second, her ease, her smiles, her confidence; it all vanished. Kei looked up at him uncomfortably, something he'd never seen before in her eyes, her entire body visibly tensing as she repositioned herself in her seat, as though he'd attached electrodes to her spine and zapped her with enough voltage to stun a horse. As if to save her, the waitress came with their order, and quickly departed again. Kei surveyed her food nervously before taking a bite out of her burger, chewing slowly, deliberately buying herself time. When she looked up again, she found that Carter hadn't touched his food. He was still looking back at her, curious concern in his eyes. And the fight went out of her.

"She's…" She stopped. "It's not a nice story. And it's a long one, and I don't want to shorten it." She said, voice suddenly harder, tougher, more distant. "Sure you want to hear it?"

Carter considered her for a moment. He hadn't expected this. He also hadn't expected that he'd be curious, genuinely so. A younger Carter Baizen steered clear of women with 'baggage', and his radar was tuned finely enough to spot these 'heavier' women. But above all, he hadn't expected that his curiosity would be empathetic and sympathetic, not morbid, nor underhanded. He filed a mental note to himself to study that later, and nodded to Kei. Yes, he wanted to hear it.

The moment he nodded, he almost regretted it. He saw the fight go out of her.

"When I was twelve, my mum found out she had cancer," she said quietly, so quietly Carter only just about heard her, and his stomach plummeted. Judging by the girl who currently sat before him, there was no happy ending to this tale. This was very heavy baggage. "Tumour in the salivary gland," Kei continued, pointing to behind her left ear, dispassionately scientific. "After a year of operations and radiotherapy, we thought we'd steered clear, and the doctors seemed optimistic. So we waited the standard six months before check-ups and enjoyed our new leases on life." Kei smiledsadly at her memories. "The whole of the summer holidays that year we went travelling through Europe, it was great. And then we got back, and she found out that the cancer had spread." The smile died. "To the lining of her lungs, too deep to operate, and too big to kill with chemotherapy, and pretty rare because of where it had spread from. No one said the word 'terminal', but we all knew that it was, it was no secret. For nearly three years she had chemo to control the growth and to keep it from spreading further, but eventually it stopped working. By then it was in her lungs, spine, liver…" She stopped, sighed, swallowed her pain down. "She died about two months before my sixteenth birthday, almost a year and a half ago."

Carter just stared at her. She was right: it wasn't a nice story. He had no idea what to say. 'I'm sorry' sprang to mind, but it felt so unoriginal he didn't want to say it. He wanted to buck the trend, to say something different, something memorable, something meaningful even. But there was nothing. All he could do was stare, and hope his face looked sympathetic, rather than… well, whatever would make Kei unhappy or disappointed.

When he realised that that was what he was trying to do, it occurred to him how unselfish - and thus out of character - he was being. It felt so peculiar he spent a moment fishing for a selfish reason. He wondered why she'd told him in the first place - she could have lied, or told him to mind his own business, or deftly avoided answering at all - and realising that, in a way, it was test, a test of how he would react. He couldn't blame her for it, it was certainly an effective way of telling the compassionate and caring from the cynical and self-centred. But it still left him wondering why he was giving a genuinely good answer, after a fashion. To his surprise, all evidence seemed to point to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't as selfish as everyone, including himself, thought.

Well, well, well.

Evidently also, his silence worked. Kei pulled herself together, looked up at him and smiled weakly. And that selfish reason he'd been fishing for bit: even sad, she was beautiful.

"That's why we moved to New York. Dad was a wreck after Mum died. He… struggled… to keep himself together, even though he put on this brave front for a while. I think that was more for his benefit than anyone else's. We spent Christmas with his family of friends from school, at my Fairy Godfather's house, and… I don't know. Something changed in him. Shortly after the New Year, he asked me how I would feel about moving to New York at the end of the academic year, so I could finish my AS's - err, Junior grade - so that we could rebuild, start again, or just get away from England, I don't know. But I could see he had to do it, so I said yes. Shortly after the exams we moved, I had just enough time to celebrate with Drake."

She finished with a sigh and a shrug and sipped her milkshake, a bundle of nervous energy attempting to stay in one piece. Carter just stared in shock.

"But… didn't… did you want to go?" He asked. He couldn't believe she could be so unselfish, _no one _he knew would do something like that for their parents, their parents did stuff like that for _them_.

"I…" She sighed again. "It was what Dad needed. I couldn't refuse. But… no… no, I didn't want to go."

Carter blinked several times. For the first time in his life, he wondered if this girl was too good for him. Most of the time, he thought it was vice versa.

"Do you… do you miss it? England, I mean." He asked. He was about to ask 'do you regret it?', but he didn't think that was the wisest thing to say. He didn't really want to draw attention to the fact that he was pretty much like every other Upper East Side boy: spoilt rotten and self-centred, the type of people who would regret doing something good for someone they care about that had nothing good for them.

She just smiled. "Yeah. Less than I did when we first left, but I still miss certain people, and certain things." She smiled, turned back to her milkshake and fiddled with the straw for a moment. Then she turned her gaze back to him. "What about you? Miss travelling?"

The change of subject didn't go unnoticed, they both knew that the other knew, that it wasn't meant to be subtle. Carter got the message clearly: Kei didn't want to talk about herself for a while, she needed a break.

"You have no idea," he answered honestly, putting perhaps more feeling into his words that he'd intended. For a moment he wondered whether _she _would let _him_ get away with changing the subject. Just this once.

* * *

She couldn't believe it. Well, actually, she could, but… OMFG. Victory was hers.

And the key had been right under her nose the whole time.

Daddy always was an absolute darling. For years, his profession had kept her in the best of New York's fashion, which, as everyone knew, was the best in the world. For years he'd automatically accepted the bills on her credit card, sent her skiing in St Moritz and tanning in St Barts, and opened their multi-million dollar penthouse doors for her parties. And it was all thanks to the richest loonies in the Upper East Side. Today, those loonies, or one loony as it turned out, was going to win the war for her.

And it was entirely by accident that Hazel had found her trump card. She'd been looking for her father in his study, and, upon finding he wasn't there, had a nosey around as she waited, and glanced down at the files on his desk. One name stood out from all the rest. A quick flick through gave her everything she needed. It was gold… pure gold.

And it was all so serendipitous. If she hadn't gone into Daddy's office to beg him for his attention, affection, and acceptance of her latest Am Ex bill, she'd never have discovered her new ammunition. It wouldn't have been there either had not Daddy been externally examining the case as standard practise in his profession.

The universe, God, Karma, Whoever or Whatever, was smiling on her. _Finally_.

Gossip Girl, for once, was definitely going to work in Hazel's favour this time. No Red Hot parties, old money heirs or entry to Manhattan's hottest clubs was going to save them this time.

Grinning from ear to ear, Hazel slept soundly, dreaming of coronations on the steps of the Met, processions through the halls of Constance Billiard, Nate Archibald declaring his adoration for her after his enlightenment, walking out on Kei this time for _her_, and Blair, grovelling at her feet, begging for forgiveness and acceptance and pathetically conceding defeat.

Dream on, girl.

* * *

_Are you sure?_

Blair woke up with a start, and swiftly a groan. Oh God…how much did she drink last night?

Nausea and blinding aches swept through Blair's body like a tornado, weighing down on her so much she was starting to forget the much more pleasant sensations of her dream… of whispers and hunger, and _satisfaction_. Blair switched off the offending alarm clock to appease the pounding in her head, and took a deep breath, hoping to quell the hangover for just a moment by just a bit. It did more than that: it reminded her better of her dream, of her heavy breathing synchronising with someone else's, someone who was kissing her sensually, someone who was holding her pressed against his body, someone who trailed his fingers down her arms, taking her negligee's straps down with them… Someone's name that she'd cried out again and again as he drove her to sweet hell…

_This is not helpful_, Blair thought.

Actually, oddly enough, it was. Those ghost-like feelings combated the after effects of the tequila that she could still taste, enabling her to slowly get up and stumble to the bathroom.

It was only when she looked in the mirror that she noticed a few key details about the world she'd just woken up to. The first was that she was naked, save for her underwear and bra. The second was that last night's clothes were draped carefully over the chair by her dressing table. Third, those clothes didn't match the negligee of her dreams. And finally, and most importantly, she didn't think she'd had sex last night. If she had, she would be able to tell.

For a start, she wouldn't have felt so frustrated still if her dreams had been memories of last night. But, and this was the clincher, that someone of her dreams (and memories, she knew when she'd worn the negligee, how could she forget?) was too good for her body to forget the morning after. Her lips would have felt bruised and swollen, skin tingling, and limbs sore with exhaustion. Oh yeah, _way_ too good to forget…

Blair groaned again, not because of the tequila still swirling uncomfortably in her stomach, but because of how it was sitting on her head. She needed to remember last night. She felt like she ought to remember, even though it didn't feel like it had been as fulfilling as she'd have perhaps liked. She just felt… better, about something…

Damn it. What _did_ happen last night?

* * *

Ugh… he was quite certain he was going to be sick…

Chuck was in the limo once more, which partially explained the nausea. Christ, he hadn't gotten that drunk since… ok, a few days ago, but that was alone. He hadn't gotten drunk _with _someone since… since…

Hmmm. Must have been one of those nights that he had no recollection of. Speaking of which, he didn't have much recollection of last night either. There had been tequila involved… and walking into things on the sidewalk… Blair laughing and giggling as she stumbled on her heels… Blair falling asleep with her head on his shoulder in the limo as he took her home… waking her up when the limo pulled up outside her penthouse… almost carrying her into the building as she barely put one foot in front of the other, and collapsing in the elevator when neither could be bothered to stand… putting her to bed and shedding her of her shoes… and clothes… and tucking her into bed.

Yeah, not much recollection of last night, eh Bass?

It had been a long time since someone had drunk Chuck under the table. Chuck wondered whether Blair felt any better than he did this morning. Probably not. It had been a _lot_ of tequila involved. Would she drag herself out of bed to school though, or use the hangover as an excuse? He himself had tried with Lily, but to no avail. She did however serve up some hangover cures of her own, that was nice. And they worked too: he felt half as crap as he had when he first woke up.

As Fate would have it, his question got answered as the limo pulled up outside the twin schools. He saw Blair arrive, looking very zombie-ish despite the amount of make-up she'd put on to conceal the shadows she probably had under her eyes, and greet Kei. He saw Kei ask a question - looked like 'good night?' - and receive a look for a reply, to which Kei just laughed. Chuck was about to think that laughing at Blair's predicament wasn't such a good move, but Kei just took Blair by the arm, handed her a black, silver lined paper cup and the two went inside, arm-in-arm.

Chuck was about to follow them to his own classes, but after a single step, he froze. Even with his current hangover throbbing in his head, there was no mistaking the grin on Hazel's face.

The bitch was on to something.

Chuck stood there for about a minute, just watching, and she never noticed. Hazel just sat there on the steps surrounded by her lackeys, none of them looking remotely as 'good' spirited as Hazel, whose 'cat-who-got-the-cream' look was hard to miss. She knew something, or had done something, or, most likely, done something with something she knew. In the Upper East Side, knowledge was power, if one knew how to use it.

And she kept glancing at her cell phone. She was waiting… for what?

Chuck's stomach curdled, though that might just have been the tequila. She was waiting for Gossip Girl.

Without giving it a second thought, Chuck whipped his cell out of his pocket. The latest showed nothing particularly interesting, unless one considered a snapshot of Serena and Humphrey leaving his apartment in Brooklyn interesting. Any other time, Chuck would have wondered who _else_ was sad enough to be in Brooklyn stalking his step-sister-to-be, but this wasn't any other time. Chuck glanced over at Hazel again, took in that horrible smile, and sent Gossip Girl a message,

**GG: Refrain from making H's scoop public, and C'll come back to play.**

* * *

_Ah… ah…_

Whilst Blair spent the morning feeling like crap, though perked up by the large green tea Kei gave her first thing, and healed reluctantly at lunch time by the bacon sandwich Kei ordered Blair to eat - "bacon sarnie: best cure for a hangover." - Kei had spent equal shares of time tending to Blair, to make up for not joining her last night after ditching Nate, and recalling what she had done last night.

_Ah… ah…_

Over a very good burger, fries and shake, she and Carter had talked solidly for hours until they were too tired to. They'd talked about where he'd gone on his travels, all the beautiful spots and the ugly ones, the rich pockets and poor stretches, the places that had left Carter speechless with awe, and others that inspired his indignation. He talked to her frankly about the people he'd met, the ones he'd liked and the ones he didn't.

She told him about her former home in England, and her thoughts on the strange bubble that was Upper East Side society. She'd liked Carter's honest opinion; that travelling had only enforced his will to stay in the circles of the wealthy and influential because it was so much more comfortable than some of the lives he'd seen around the globe. She'd liked it when he admitted that he hoped that his travels had humbled him at least, though chances were he'd need age to truly mature. And she'd liked the surprised look on his face sometimes after he'd spoken, and realised that he hadn't meant to be that honest.

_Ah… ahh…_

She liked most of all that he had two different types of charm. The first, and least effective, was the one he put on himself, after years of practice and, no doubt, success. His deliberate flirting made him look cliché at best, and sleazy at worst. The second, and much more appealing, was his natural charm when he forgot to use the former, when he just listened and talked and teased and stopped trying to appear as someone he thought she'd like.

The thought that she was probably one of few, if any, women who had seen Carter Baizen so revealed was immensely seductive. And she knew it, and refused to succumb to it. Which was why she'd spent every other half moment reining herself in, reasoning with herself, making sure her common sense hadn't run for the hills and were still manning the gates. Whilst she was touched that he had respected her enough to be honest about his previous exploits with women when asked, she still wasn't any more impressed with his extensive record than when she first read about it in Gossip Girl's archives. She could still recall her bemusement when she read about what he'd gotten up to in his senior year.

_Ahh… ahh…_

Kei had always considered herself immune to good-looking men in ways that other teenage girls weren't. She didn't drool over Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio or Johnny Depp; she critiqued and admired their work, their acting talent. The same was for every other boy she'd ever been attracted to. They'd been funny, smart, eccentric, artistic, or sensitive, and Fate had been kind enough to make them all at least a little cute; indeed, the eccentric one had actually been the best looking boy in her class, over whom every straight girl swooned, and it had been disconcerting to find herself amongst their number, though she _never_ swooned. Her idols were the likes of John Cleese, Stephen Fry, Mitchell and Webb, Zhang Yimou, Ang Lee, Mamoru Oshii, Danny Boyle (for Slumdog Millionaire and Trainspotting, nothing else), Pixar. She left the hunks for Drake to ogle over. She had nothing against hunk-ogling, even enjoyed it every now and then, but most of the time, she failed to see the substantial appeal.

And right now, Carter was pretty hunky. And that, to her, was a small problem.

_Ahhh… ahhh…_

After eating the last of their fries, and splitting the bill equally at Kei's unwavering insistence - though Carter gave an almost 100% tip - they got a cab home, dropping off Kei first. They exchanged cell phone numbers, and Carter said the now immortal words that every girl on a date hopes to hear: 'I'll call you'.

Kei sighed. How very _He's Just Not That Into You_.

Really, she had more pressing matters, like the cold she suspected she was coming down with. Bother.

_Atchoo!_

* * *

Hazel's day, that had seemingly started so well with the promise of her new discovery, was not looking so well now. She'd sent Gossip Girl _everything_ hours ago, well in time for the start of school when everyone would be congregating around the entrance. Lunch was now over, and there'd been nothing, save for the latest spotting: K and B in a pharmacy getting water, aspirin, Vitamin C tablets and a pack of anti-viral tissues. Not even the Upper East Side had immunity from the common cold, Gossip Girl commented on K's sneezing.

She'd rechecked everything so many times she'd lost count. She'd added everything, send it to the right number, it was all sent successfully and delivered successfully. So what the hell was taking Gossip Girl so long? She should have been having a field day by now. Instead she was commenting on the physical health of Blair and Kei.

What the _hell_? God damn it, she was so close! Victory was in sight; why the hell was it taking so long? The crown of the Upper East Side should have been hers already!

Class ended, and Hazel glared venomously as Blair, Kei and Serena exited together. Serena was smiling sympathetically at the other two girls: Blair was only just recovered from her hangover and tired, and Kei looked fevered, and had spent much of the lesson sneezing or trying to blow her nose quietly. Ew.

Looking at them, so openly friendly and caring and affectionate, and _real_, the 'obvious' solution came to her. As the saying goes, so Hazel thought to herself, 'if you want something done properly, do it yourself'.

Hazel's glare turned to a smile. She hoped that Kei had a white handkerchief, because once Hazel was done with Blair, Kei would need to wave it. Hazel's smile widened; that wasn't such a bad line.

Oh yeah. Ha ha.

* * *

Wednesday morning, Blair felt much, much better, and resolved firmly to never drink tequila again. Or indeed, drink anything with Bass. After all, in his company, even _water_ was intoxicating.

There was a spring in her step as she got up to shower for school. The world wasn't so bad any more. Hazel and Jenny were on the retreat as she and Kei dominated Gossip Girl's updates. Nate had retreated from Kei, and though he'd looked unbelievably jealous yesterday as Kei walked past him, uninterested, and with Gossip Girl's postings still in his mind, he hadn't tried anything. Yet.

And Chuck. Chuck was… confusing. Blair frowned at that thought. Best not to think of him. At all. Ever.

Good luck with that, B. As always.

Blair was going through her wardrobe in her bathrobe when her cell rang.

"Morning, Kei."

"_Atchoo_!"

Blair stared at her phone, the mini nasal explosion on the line ringing slightly.

"Ugh, sorry about that." The cell said, and Blair heard Kei blow her nose. It sounded like a blocked trumpet.

"Not good today then." Blair said, putting her cell back to her ear.

"No, not really." Kei said, amused. She sniffed. Her voice sounded funny with her nose so badly blocked. "I'm not going into school today, I don't think our tutors would appreciate me sneezing some more all through their classes."

Blair smiled. Yeah, that's a good excuse for absentee-ism: 'I'm doing you a favour'. "If you're sure, Kei."

Kei chuckled down the phone, followed by a short coughing fit. Ugh, ok, she _really_ didn't sound good. "Still want lunch? I can ask Dad to deliver anyway, he won't mind."

Blair smiled again, this time touched. "That would be nice. Chicken ramen?"

Kei chuckled again. "I think I'll join you on that one, but from my bed. You walking in with Serena?"

"No," Blair replied, "she stayed over at Humphrey's."

"Again?"

Blair wrinkled her nose. "Yeah, _again_."

Kei laughed outright at Blair's tone. "There's no accounting for taste, huh, Waldorf?"

The Upper East Side Devil's smirk flashed through Blair's mind. Yeah, there really isn't. She'd have liked to be able to say that Kei should know that too, but she'd had dinner with Carter Baizen, former King of the Upper East Side. The girl certainly _did_ have taste, even though Blair interrogated her about it, and found the honest answer was simply 'we talked'. But that just made it even better: she'd survived a few hours under Carter's focused attention and kept her underwear on. Evidently, he had good taste too; the young man was obviously after Kei for keeps, not just a one night stand.

"Yeah, yeah. I've got to get ready for school. You get better quickly, Kei." Blair teasingly commanded.

Kei sneezed and laughed. "Aye, ma'am."

* * *

Chuck would never admit it, but he was nervous. He'd got to school early, took up a good surveillance spot, and watched and waited. Hazel arrived at a reasonable time with Penelope, who clearly didn't know what Hazel was doing with her phone. She was clearly writing a message, carefully choosing her words. And then, oddly, she smiled, seemingly satisfied, and pocketed her phone without sending.

That was why Chuck was nervous. He kept trying to figure out what Hazel sent to Gossip Girl in the first place. At one point he'd even questioned whether he'd made the right deductions yesterday, and thus whether he'd made a pointless bargain with Gossip Girl. He didn't want Gossip Girl having one over him like that without anything in return. It simply wasn't good business.

And whatever Hazel had up her sleeve, that would probably not be good business too.

But Chuck refused to analyse that thought any further.

He saw Blair arrive on foot, glowing with good spirits, yesterday's hangover gone. She was alone, and Kei was nowhere in sight. Maybe that cold she clearly had yesterday had gotten the better of her. One had to love legitimate reasons for not going to school after all. He was glad to see Blair looking so well though. Finally, the clouds that had been hovering over her head for months were gone, or at least going, and the sun was beginning to shine again. People called out friendly greetings as she passed, no longer reproachful or judgemental of their former pariah.

Blair was back on top. Precisely where Chuck liked her.

Oo-er.

Lightening struck, and Chuck's face fell. He saw Hazel smirk in Blair's direction, take out her cell, and hit SEND.

Within seconds, every cell phone around beeped with a new message.

Automatically, people began inspecting their cells, expecting an update from Gossip Girl. Everyone frowned, either at the anonymous sender, or Hazel's id. Chuck pulled his own cell out and opened the message.

After a few seconds to figure out what it was that he was looking at, his blood ran cold. Had his brain not been shocked into silence, it would have spewing out expletives.

**Good morning, Upper East Siders, H here. Your **_**other**_** source to the scandalous lives of Manhattan's so-called elite. Just thought you'd like to know…**

**Guess who's been seeking professional 'help' from New York's finest shrinks? That's right, our very own ex-queen B. Look's like B's got a touch of **_**bulimia**_**. What's the matter, B? Like the taste of stomach acid? Feel lighter on your feet after hurling? Or do you just like the smell of toilet bleach?**

**And don't try denying it, B. Here's the proof.**

**But don't worry: your secret's safe with me.**

The bitch had even had the gall to sign off '**You know you love me, XOXO H**'.

Today, it seemed, was a day for things that had never happened before. Doing Gossip Girl's job for her was one. Another was that Chuck had never, _ever_ wanted to strike a woman before (he'd only slapped a couple of girls to prevent hysteria before). Hazel was the first girl he'd ever wanted to punch the living daylights out of.

The third was worse. Much worse.

Looking up from his cell, Chuck saw everyone reading the message in various forms of shock and disgust. This he managed to see as his eyes immediately found Blair. She was standing on the steps to the doors, staring at her cell, reading the same message if the look on her face was anything to go by. Slowly, as the courtyard started to react in whispered and blurted curses, she looked up and saw the looks on everyone's faces, the vast majority of which were clearly looking for her.

Chuck had never, _never_ seen Blair look so helpless before.

* * *

_76: When things are peaceful, the warlike person trips over himself._

* * *

**Disclaimer: Gossip Girl doesn't belong to me, nor do the Friedrich Nietzsche quotes from _Beyond Good and Evil_. Bummer.**

**Sorry it's been a while since my last, and I've got bad news for you that is very good news for me: I'm going travelling for a year, starting in October. For the first month, I'll be in South Africa on a volunteering project, and I have no idea whether or not I'll have internet access. In November, I'm going to Sydney, where I will be for nearly nine months, and will be utilising internet cafes, so chapter updates are going to get even more sporadic. But I _will_ be writing, so don't worry: I _will_ update. I just have no idea when. Give it two months or so for the next, so in the meantime, enjoy Season 3.  
**

**Speaking of which, I still haven't seen the end of Season 2, and thus will not be watching Season 3 until I have. I will however be updated every now and then by the blessing that is Wikipedia. If it's not up on wiki, then I don't want to know about it yet, so no spoilers please!**

**Anyway, hope you like this one, I liked writing it. Have finally got to the bit I was looking forward to the most: Hazel's comeback, and am already writing Chapter 14. Sorry about any bad typos, had to beta this myself in a rush so I could post before I leave. Please read and review!**

**By the way, Kei's experiences: they're mine, although I've put her through them a few years earlier than I did. So if anyone's thinking that that bit got a bit too fictional or wish-washy or convenient, please think again. Kei very much is me, just bettered and worsened, for better and worse.  
**

**Take care, everyone xx**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

_Soaking through_

_Colours that hold us against the wall_

_Soaking through_

_Colours that hold us against the wall_

* * *

Kei's cold was keeping her awake, amongst other things. Had she been feeling better, she would be at school by now, no doubt ascending the steps to the entrance to head for her first class with Blair. She wondered whether everyone would still be gossiping about Blair and Chuck recent 'reconciliation', or whether word would be out about Carter and herself. With regards to the former, it was harmless, if anything it would only do Blair a favour in her attempts to regain her former standing. The latter however…

She grinned for a moment, and caught herself. It was too early to be grinning, they'd only had a burger together.

The grin crept back. She couldn't help it. The boy was undeniably hot, at the very least.

When her phone beeped she nearly jumped, she was so comfortable floating on her cloud high up in the sky. She giggled at herself and her young silliness. What did Gossip Girl have to report now?

_Hold your colours against the wall_

_When they take everything away_

_Hold your colours against the wall_

_(With me...)_

Shit…

Definitely not from Gossip Girl. Her phone didn't recognize the number. But there was no doubt who sent it.

**Good morning, Upper East Siders, H here. Your **_**other**_** source to the scandalous lives of Manhattan's so-called elite. Just thought you'd like to know…**

**Guess who's been seeking professional 'help' from New York's finest shrinks? That's right, our very own ex-queen B. Looks like B's got a touch of **_**bulimia**_**. What's the matter, B? Like the taste of stomach acid? Feel lighter on your feet after hurling? Or do you just like the smell of toilet bleach?**

**And don't try denying it, B. Here's the proof.**

**But don't worry: your secret's safe with me.**

**You know you love me, XOXO H**.

Hazel… the bitch.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

Kei read it again, wanting to be absolutely sure. She read everything; every word, and every word of the attached psychologist's notes. _Shit, shit, shit_.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

Quite certain she wasn't dreaming, she exited the message and sped-dialed #7.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

#1 was voice-mail, as standard. #2 was the apartment land-line, home. #3 was her father's cell phone. #4 was the restaurant's take-out ordering number. #5 was Drake, carefully including the UK country code. #6 was Blair.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

#7 was Chuck.

* * *

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

Blair was in shock. This… this couldn't be… this couldn't be happening to her… no one knew… how could Hazel… of course this was Hazel's work… but… only Eleanor, Serena, Lily and Kei knew… who would have told… who could have… no… no, no, no, no, no…

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

She looked up from her phone. People were starting to stare, and all she could see was judgement, scorn, pity, disgust… no… not again… not again…

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

"Blair?"

Chuck. What was Chuck doing there?

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

"Come on, Blair, let's get you moving."

What for? She was already naked again before the crowd…

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

"Waldorf –"

His cell rang. She heard him curse under his breath, grabbed his cell out of his pocket, made to reject the call. Just before he hit the cancel button he saw the caller id: Kei.

"Argen, where the f –"

"_Get her out of there, Chuck_!"

Blair's head twitched up at the sound of Kei's shouting on the line, and the fog cleared a little. It was Kei. Kei would know what to do. Kei would help her.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

"Bring her here, Bass, just get her out of school now!" Kei ordered down the phone.

"On my way." Chuck answered, hung up and turned back to Blair. Finally, she saw him. For once, he looked shocked too. "Blair?"

She looked around her one last time. Oh God… everyone was whispering…

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

"Get me out of here." She murmured. She spoke so softly she doubted later whether Chuck actually heard her, but either way he took her arm and steered her away down the steps, making as hasty a retreat as possible. The teachers could do whatever the hell they liked to them later, Blair could not be expected to stay in school after this. And Bass… was a Bass. How much trouble could he really get into?

Just as they got in the taxi, just before it drove off, Blair made the mistake of looking out the window with morbid curiosity. There was Hazel, H herself, sitting prim and proper, like a cat that had just caught the budgie, watching them leave.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

Blair didn't even turn away as Hazel waved her fingers in victorious farewell as the taxi sped out and away.

_Soaking through_

* * *

_Hold your colours against the wall_

_When they take everything away_

_Hold your colours against the wall_

_

* * *

_

_Soaking through_

"Blair?"

As the taxi left Constance Billiards and St Judes, Chuck turned his every attention to Blair. She looked ashen, as though someone had punched her in the middle and completely winded her. Not that far from the truth really. She slowly turned to face him and his stomach clenched with worry. She looked green now.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

"She waved." Blair whispered hoarsely. His jaw clenched. He could guess who 'she' was. "The bitch waved…"

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

Her voice broke, but her eyes remained dry. He had seen Blair look like this before only once in his entire life: the day her father left New York. 'He's left', she kept saying. When she eventually started crying, he had no idea what it was that set her off. History repeats itself in the oddest of ways, Chuck knew. He had been the one there for her too then. Later she said she'd been looking for Nate, that maybe they were playing games or something. He knew it was bull; Nate was in Central Park running with his dad as usual. He'd never questioned it, or her about it. And he refused to now.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

His remedy then had been a glass of scotch straight down, an awkward hug – forcing himself to make his hands behave themselves – and Breakfast At Tiffany's. He didn't have Audrey Hepburn, nor scotch, in the cab. And he had no idea if Blair trusted him enough to hug him, or want to be hugged by him.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

So he put his hands on her shoulders and turned her properly to face him.

"Blair," he said gently, sounding very unlike himself by his own ears. She looked up, eyes wide, listening. "It's going to be okay."

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

For half a second she managed a pitying look, a look that said he should, and did, know better than to believe such tripe. A look Blair Waldorf would give him on a good day. But then the tears came, and she was in his arms before he could even think whether it was a good idea.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

Even with her tears already staining his jacket, feeling her so close was absolute torture, and absolute heaven.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

And, as happens on only the rarest occasion, he had the decency to feel like dirt for enjoying it.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

* * *

__

_Ahhh, she looked into your eyes_

_And saw what laid beneath_

_Don't try to save yourself_

_The circle is complete_

_We're reaching out and to tell you_

_Nothing else can touch me…_

* * *

_Soaking through_

Serena was panicking. She'd done it again.

"Where the hell could she be, Dan?"

She'd been running late with Dan from Brooklyn, and too… distracted on the bus to check their phones when they simultaneously beeped. She was already in class when she realized that neither Blair nor Kei were present, and finally, under the table to avoid getting caught by the tutor, she read the message everyone else had gotten long enough ago.

… **Look's like B's got a touch of **_**bulimia**_**…. Here's the proof…**

At first, she couldn't believe it. It was like how it was before, except it was Hazel delivering the deadly blow herself. And Hazel now sat in class with a big, triumphant smirk on her face, doodling on her notes.

'Queen H', no doubt.

When class was over - finally, easily one of the longest classes of her life - Serena had started searching school all over before the next class, not caring if she was late, desperately trying to find Blair. She wasn't at the window where they sat for lunch, but Serena already guessed that. She wasn't in the restroom, where Serena had guessed and feared Blair would be. She wasn't anywhere in school. So where was she?

Serena tried calling Blair's cell, but it went straight to voicemail. She'd called Kei, and it went unanswered. She'd even called Dorota, who hadn't heard anything from 'Miss Blair'.

Oh God… what had Blair done with herself?

"I'm sure she's fine, Serena." Dan told her when he found her in the quad, searching still. "She's probably gone somewhere to lick her wounds and plan her comeback."

Serena looked at him like he was an idiot. Where the hell had he been since the last disaster? Where had he been for the last year? Had he even read Hazel's damning expose?

Just then, Hazel walked past with her entourage. Hazel strode by like a peacock on a catwalk, parading her success around the school. Penelope, Isabel and Kati however didn't look so sure of themselves, constantly darting glances at those around them and back at Hazel, their own strides obviously false and forced. To Dan's relief, Jenny was conspicuously not with them.

But none of it was of any comfort to Serena.

"I have to tell someone."

Dan blinked. Huh? "Err… tell who? And tell what?"

Serena looked at him like he was stupid again. "This!" She waved her phone in his face, clearly meaning Hazel's 'gossip'. "She can't get away with this! It's… it's…"

"Serena?" She stopped trying to find the words for a moment to look at and listen to her boyfriend. "Is that going to help Blair right now?"

Serena stopped. Good point. Maybe Dan had been paying attention after all. She needed to help Blair. What was the best way to do that?

"I need to get to class."

Dan blinked at this new development. "Okay…"

"I need to watch what Hazel does. That's how I can help Blair."

Dan nodded. This was slightly better than a panicking, wild, on-the-loose Serena Van Der Woodsen.

"I'll see you after class, okay?" She said, already on her way, automatically kissing him on the cheek as she went by.

He never would get this place.

* * *

_Hold your colours against the wall_

_When they take everything away_

_Hold your colours against the wall_

* * *

_Soaking through_

Long before they pulled up, Chuck spotted Kei waiting for them on the sidewalk. She was dressed in the fluffiest blue dressing gown he'd ever seen, pink bedroom uggs, her hair was an absolute mess, and she looked ill from a mile away: flushed with fever, nose red and running, tissue box in hand, she did not look fit to be seen. Yet there she was, anxious and waiting, as though her symptoms did not affect her in the slightest. Who knew, maybe they really didn't. Right there and then, her every concern was for Blair.

And for that, Chuck barely noticed the dancing Snoopy's on her pyjama pants. Neither did Blair evidently. She was getting out the cab even before it had stopped moving, and was in Kei's waiting arms in an instant.

In the cab, Blair's eyes had dried in seconds. She accepted Chuck's hug for the longest and shortest second of Chuck's life, before pulling back, turning away, and shrinking up against the window, staring at nothing tensely. In Kei's arms she finally unfroze, and as Chuck stepped out of the cab, he heard Blair choke on escaping, long suppressed sobs.

A tiny voice in Chuck's mind told him he resented it. Resented that Blair could find solace in Kei's embrace, even though the two had been friends for a matter of weeks. He and Blair had been friends for as long as he could remember. Allies. Partners in crime. The masterminds to all the best schemes in Manhattan. In none of that time had Blair been openly and freely comfortable with his support, even when they were sleeping together. The day her father left was a one off. The birthdays she attended were exceptions. But even before the mess of their affair, hugging was not them.

They were invincible. They didn't need it.

Which is why he smothered the voice. He didn't need to hear it either.

It was an odd sight though, Blair and Kei. The school girl getting lost in blue fluff and a box of Kleenex on the sidewalk of Manhattan, with everyone staring as they walked past. The two girls were oblivious. Chances were, if they had noticed, it would mean absolutely nothing to Kei. Today, chances were Blair wouldn't care too much either. Until later when she regained herself. But right there and then, no one gave a damn.

"Come on," he heard Kei say softly into Blair's ear. "Let's get you inside. It's really bloody cold out here." Blair laughed despite herself through her sobs. Chuck saw Blair nod after taking a few gasping breaths to calm down, and the two girls parted just enough for Kei to lead Blair into the building. He followed after a second, not entirely sure if he was welcome, until he reminded himself: what the hell else did he have to do?

It was going to be a long, odd day.

* * *

Before anyone could do anything to stop her, Blair was heading for the bathroom. With Kei's protests in her ear, she locked the door, turned and slid down the door to the floor, arriving in a heap. She felt sick now... her clothes seemed to shrink around her, trapping her, exposing her... and found her wanting. She could taste breakfast sitting uncomfortably inside, the fruit and yogurt burning holes in her stomach trying to seep into her bloodstream. All the fat grams in the low-fat vanilla yogurt... she felt like she was swelling already...

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

All the hard work she'd done to rebuild... gone. It was all crumbling around her. Everyone knew about her... problem... everyone knew she was flawed... unbalanced... _imperfect_... she couldn't bear it...

She lunged for the toilet and gripped the sides. It felt cold under her fingers, somehow familiar even though she'd never touched it like that before in her life. The familiarity jolted through her... it had never felt familiar before. It always felt cold, smooth, clinical... but never familiar. Her body and mind had never let it feel familiar. Her mind had never let her know that it was a _habit_. It had only allowed her to suspect, and finally had reluctantly forced itself to consciously admit the truth. But she'd never believed it. And never _known_ it.

Until now.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

"Blair?"

It was Kei, speaking gently through the door.

"I'm here, okay? I'm not going anywhere. I'm right outside. It's all alright."

She sounded... so genuine. So non-judgemental. So unassuming. And yet... her unassuming non-judgements were not naive. Kei knew what she went in for. She knew what Blair might have done, or was doing, or going to do. And she was still there. Blair could picture it now. Kei would be carefully watching the gap under the door, listening, concentrating... not going anywhere, as she promised. She'd wait, and help.

Blair didn't need to throw up anymore.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

She leaned away from the edge of the toilet, slowly coming back to herself. After a moment, she looked around her. There were two towels on the rail, one brown, one blue. Given Kei's obvious favourite colour, Blair didn't need to guess which was her friend's. In the shower on the shelf were The Body Shop shower gel and shampoo for men, and bottles of Garnier Fructose shampoo and conditioner for smooth hair, and Imperial Leather Japanese Spa shower gel. A loofah hung from the shower head, and dangling from the shelf was a bright orange sponge. Toothbrushes stood upright in a blue glass on the sink's edge, along with bottles of Garnier Pure Active facial scrub, toner, moisturizer and spot gel. In a big glass jar there were cotton wool buds. The bathroom rug under Blair's feet had a design with lots of fish on it. And on top of the toilet's cistern sat a glass vase with fake orchids in pebbles.

It was normal, and Kei's family's. Blair was safe here. Kei would not be disappointed in her, she somehow knew. And Kei would do her very best to try to make sure that Blair didn't feel disappointed in herself. She would be as comforting in person as the ingredients of her familiar scent would be, more so. _It's all alright_.

She got up, checked her reflection the mirror. Her make-up was stained all over her face, mascara proving not particularly water-proof as always. She found make-up remover in the cabinet under the sink, cleaned her face, and considered herself again. Better. Pale, small, and unsure, but better than she could be. Better than she feared she was.

So she unlocked the door, and stepped out.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

Exactly as she had imagined, Kei had been inches away from the door, still in her fluffy blue dressing gown, and so she took a step back to let Blair out. But she'd been listening; when the door opened she wasn't surprised. Kei's eyes stayed on Blair's face the whole time, quietly and un-intrusively inspecting the damage. But she smiled gently the whole time, standing still. She didn't need to stretch out her arms to invite Blair in, she was waiting. She was there.

So Blair smiled back weakly, as much as she felt comfortable with, not forcing it. Then she realised; where was Chuck?

"I sent Bass to get me some things, and to do some research." Kei explained. Then she stepped away, gestured to her bedroom door. "Come on, I need my duvet again before I start sneezing all over you again. I think we both need more tissues."

* * *

_Ahhh, she looked into your eyes_

_And saw what lay beneath_

_Don't try to save yourself_

_The circle is complete._

Drake had once called Kei a Warrior Samaritan. She was incapable of seeing harm come to those who meant none and not do anything about it. The rest had to earn her good will. Those that did not would be missed as a pity of the world. Those that did could always, _always_, almost without exception, no matter what life had in store, count on Kei to at least wish them well, and most likely do more. Make an enemy out of Kei, and you should know you've really screwed up somewhere. She could forgive mistakes, but not forget them until they were undone or made up for, and remember them when they were repeated. It made her both extraordinary and abnormal. For the more observant of life, it could be - just - realised that something went a little off when she was growing up to make her so sensitive. The rest, sadly, usually never got to noticing. Another pity of the universe.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

That did not explain why Drake called her the _Warrior _Samaritan, though by now why should be fairly obvious, the girl never shied from a fight. But that didn't fully explain why Drake called her that. It came from the fact that, had she been born in another time, she would have been one of the women who were dropped as spies in enemy country during the twentieth centuries many wars. Or a Civil War wife who would stand guard outside her house to defend her family whilst her husband was away fighting on the front line. Or a Roman matron that no man dared to cross or disobey. Or, in another world, Athena, Artemis, Isis, and every other virtuous deity that fought the world for what mattered most to her.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

Hazel would never know what hit her. And she would always, _always_regret messing with Kei.

"Kei?"

"Hmmm?"

The two girls were lying in Kei's bed, pillows piled back under their heads to prop them up, duvet over them, Blair borrowing a set of spare pyjamas, so that they could watch Final Fantasy VII Advent Children, the latest addition to Kei's DVD library. They'd only seen about twenty minutes of it, and, so far, Blair didn't quite get why Kei was already so engrossed in it. The girl was clearly swept up in the strange and unfamiliar aesthetics of it, yet on the very edge of really enjoying it. Out of the corner of her eyes, Blair could see Kei turning to check on her every few minutes before diving back into the film. Blair almost felt ashamed for being there, intruding on Kei's unashamed enjoyment of something so different. Her society rarely appreciated different tastes to such a degree, there always needed to be a reason for it, something cultural or intelligent, _justified_. Kei however... didn't have any embarrassment of her likes and dislikes. Blair admired her for it.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

"What am I going to do?"

Kei turned her head to look at Blair, saw the nervous expression on her friend's face, and paused the film. It could wait. In the sudden hanging silence, Kei thought some more. She'd been thinking about that question ever since she got the horrible message from Hazel.

"I'm not sure, I'm afraid." She answered for a minute of carefully contemplating it. "It all depends really."

"On what?"

Kei turned on her side to face Blair properly, snuggling into the duvet. "On what happens at school today. On how people react."

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

Blair's stomach clenched. She'd been afraid of that. "It'll just go to how things were before."

Kei blinked understandingly. "To how it was after Gossip Girl exposed everything?" Blair screwed up her eyes, nodding. "You don't know that."

Blair opened her eyes, tears threatening to develop. "But -"

"Listen to me," Kei interrupted gently. Blair's protests died. "This isn't the same. Last time it was Gossip Girl, and _everyone_ listens to Gossip Girl. This time it's Hazel, acting in Gossip Girl's shoes. I bet that Gossip Girl's not going to like this. She didn't like Hazel before this, so the chances that this stunt will have endeared Hazel to her are absolutely tiny, and by extension..."

"No one else will like her either," Blair muttered quietly, catching on quickly. Kei smiled and nodded.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

"As for whether people believe her... well, that's up to you." Kei said. Blair looked her in the eye, knowing what she meant. "Tomorrow, you're going back to school, walk in, head held high, like it didn't make a damn difference."

Blair nodded, turned on to her back, and stared up at the ceiling. She hadn't noticed that Kei had strung up dragon wood-chimes.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

"I won't lie, Blair, this is going to change how people look at you for a while. But rise above it, and people will have no choice but do the same, or get left behind in your wake." Kei sighed. "Mental health issues always change things when people know about them, always, regardless of whether anyone realises. You've just got to make sure that people know that you write the rules about how people treat you, and believe me, people will follow them." Out of the corner of Blair's eye, she saw Kei smile. "You're the trendsetter, always have been, always will be. Just be the tough nut I know you are."

"Be invincible."

Both girls lifted their heads from their pillows to stare at Chuck, who stood in the doorway looking somewhat bemused at the sight before him. The stuff of boys' fantasies... two girls, in bed, getting personal... in over-sized pyjamas and watching Japanese anime. Not quite what he'd been expecting.

Regardless however his advice was perfectly genuine. Hazel had made a touch move, but this was not checkmate yet. Blair had plenty of strong pieces left on the board, and she had a Queen and a Knight ready to sweep in at any moment. Blair would not be alone this time.

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

Kei smiled. _It's all alright_. "Exactly." Then she smirked at Chuck. "All good?" He nodded. She smirked even more. "Got my stuff?"

He rolled his eyes and lifted up a plastic carrier bag. "One bag of plain white flour, bananas, strawberries, and Cornish clotted cream. Anything else, ma'am?"

"Nope," Kei answered, already struggling to get herself out of the cocoon of duvet she'd gotten herself into. "French pancakes, anyone?"

_Twisted the knife and opened your eyes_

* * *

_Fading gently_

_Soaking through_

_And starting not to show at all_

_We're reaching out and to take you_

_Nothing else can touch me_

_

* * *

_

_Soaking through_

"Chuck?"

Everything began with each others names today.

It had been a long day. It was getting dark now, and the limo was slowly making its way through Manhattan traffic to drop Blair off at home. Chuck and Blair had spent the whole time at Kei's, first indulging in the girl's banana, strawberry and cream pancakes that she'd very carefully made, dashing from the room every time she needed to sneeze and cough, then shoving the girl into the bathroom with orders to shower and dress so they could get some air in Central Park. It had been a good day, even though Chuck had spent more time listening to the girls' banter than bantering with them, until Kei had started teasing him that she should make sure that she had a set of pyjamas for him, just in case he wanted a change from Audrey Hepburn and watch video game spin-offs instead.

So, naturally, he just asked if the girls in Kei's choice had breasts that came out to _here_, cos Hepburn's were so-so. It had been a while since he'd been attacked with Blair's purse, and he'd certainly never been simultaneously whacked round the back of his head by another girl.

Central Park had been followed by bento boxes and ramen from The Silver Sakura, hysterical phone calls from Serena, who got caught trying to escape the school between classes, and cautious conversations with Dorota for Eleanor-control. Seemed the school had let their parents know that they didn't turn up to classes that morning, and Eleanor wasn't too pleased. Bart on the other hand hadn't contacted Chuck. Nothing new or unexpected there really.

_Hold your colours against the wall_

_When they take everything away_

_Hold your colours against the wall_

"I'm sorry..."

Chuck turned away from his window and looked at Blair. Who sat as far away from him as possible, looking small, tired, and resigned in her school uniform again. But her apology, which she'd never, ever given to him before, made no sense to him.

"For what?"

"For..." She trailed off, turned her face further away from him. "... for what happened between us."

Chuck's jaw dropped. This could not be real.

"We both really screwed up, didn't we?"

Chuck closed his mouth and considered her words. Yes, yes they really had. He nodded, and she sighed. She'd been watching his reflection in the window.

"I'm sorry for going back to Nate." She forced out. A shudder suddenly went through her, and after she was tenser for a moment. Then she relaxed and turned ever so slightly away from the window. "I'm sorry I didn't..." She trailed off again. Judging by the expression on what little he could see on her face, she looked like she didn't really know what she was apologising for now.

_Soaking through_

"I'm sorry I didn't try to make things work."

Chuck stared at her, utterly speechless. Blair Waldorf did not apologise... Blair Waldorf did not apologise... _Blair Waldorf did not just apologise to me_...

"And thank you." She said, this time the words oddly easy. "For saving me today."

The world would never be the same again. Charles 'Chuck' Bass' heart finally melted.

Before he could stop himself, he was sitting right by Blair, his hands gently taking her shoulders and taking her into a hug. She fit so perfectly... her head found the crook of his neck, her arms automatically wound round his waist, his arms gently rubbed her back, his fingers twisted into her long hair. "I'm sorry I screwed up too." He whispered to her. His apology was just for her, no one would ever receive another on par with this one, and no one else needed to hear it. It was hers. Her arms tightened and she nodded. When she sighed contentedly her breath ticked his neck... _God, help me_...

"Friends?" She asked quietly, uncertain.

_Hold your colours against the wall_

_When they take everything away_

_Hold your colours against the wall_

"Friends."

_With me..._

_

* * *

_

**Disclaimer: Gossip Girl does not belong to me, nor do the lyrics of 'Hold Your Colour' by Pendulum, my favourite song.**

**No Nietzsche quotes this time, I'm afraid. I'm travelling at the moment, and this is the product of a few strange, jet-lagged nights in Sydney. Not sure when the next chapter will be, but it'll be coming. Having said that, got some rather odd things going on with Real Life at the moment. October I was in South Africa, and I lost my virginity to a guy I met there. There's a chance I might be pregnant, if some rather odd and very early signs and strange intuitions are right, so my writing might take even longer than normal to come. But if I am pregnant, then there's no way I'm apologising for any delay to Chapter 15, I don't regret a thing.**

**So. I hope you all like this, and I do apologise for any lingering typos or paragraphs that make no sense, having to beta this myself to save time. If anyone is interested in beta-reading Beyond Right And Wrong (and thereby getting to read it sooner than usual), just send me a private message or mention it in a review.**

**Hope this finds all my readers well across the world, please read and review! xx**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Kei was back in her cocoon. She'd piled up her pillows behind her to support her, and she was back in her Snoopy pyjamas, snuggled into her duvet. On her lap was a tub of Haagen Daas vanilla chocolate fudge ice cream, and beside her was a carton of Tropicana. On the TV, she was watching Advent Children again. Odd really, she knew. She'd never played the games, just like she'd never played Metal Gear Solid 4, but loved the storyline. She just liked the way the Japanese told their stories, though she had yet to work out what distinguished them from the West. The only thing that really stood out to her was how they treated their heroes: they seemed to pity them, pity how soul-destroying it could be to have the weight of the world on one's shoulders. In Western cinema, heroes always seemed to have the sun shining out of their asses, never had a care for what they lost to achieve 'good', and had no sympathy for their enemies. Maybe it was just in her blood, or a bias for her mother's heritage, she didn't know. She had discovered her love of Japanese anime and cinema on her own, in her teens, and gladly explored it as much as it was available to her. She'd have to find some anime club in New York to get better access to films though.

She watched as Cloud Strife pulled up his bike and ascended the flight of steps to the lodge. Was it weird that she thought, for a CGI character, he was kinda hot?

Just as she thought that, her cell phone rang on the bedside table. She groaned and paused the film just as Reno found himself chucked out. She smiled in surprise at the caller id: Carter.

"Hey!" She answered croakily. She winced at the sound of her voice, and cleared her throat before trying again. "Hey."

"Hi..." Carter replied, clearly amused. "You okay?"

Kei chuckled and coughed. "Yeah. Got a cold, so I sound and look gross right now." Carter laughed. "How are you?"

"Not bad." He said. "How are you?"

"Other than ill?"

"Uh-huh."

"I'm..." She trailed off. How was she?

It had been an interesting day, to say the least. Hazel's 'update' had infuriated her. It was probably a good thing that she hadn't been at school: chances were she'd probably have bitch-slapped Hazel at the earliest opportunity and then some, which wouldn't have done anyone any favours. Then, when Blair had arrived, she doused her fury to spend every thought on how to be comforting and supportive. She'd put on the film deliberately, knowing that Blair wouldn't really get into it, giving her a safe haven to think. It had worked, and Blair started coming back to herself. Then came the pancakes, and Central Park, wrapping up warmly so her cold didn't get worse, the air refreshing her lungs a little. Then she waved Blair and Chuck off in the limo, curious about their fate.

It had been a couple of hours since then, and over chicken and vegetable soup, the ice cream and orange juice, she'd thought, schemed, planned her course of action for the next day at school, and watched movies. Sod the cold. She was needed back at Constance Billiard at Blair's side.

She hadn't really thought about how she was much of late. She'd been more worried about Blair.

"I'm alright. It's been a long day." She finally answered.

"How so?" Carter asked. She frowned. He really didn't know what she was talking about? She knew he got Gossip Girl updates... then it clicked. Hazel wouldn't have thought to, or been able to, get Gossip Girl's subscribers list. He hadn't seen Hazel's expose. She told him the whole story, leaving out the finer details of Hazel's 'scoop', and left out the truth about Blair's problem. It wasn't her place to tell. "Shit." Carter said when Kei was done. Kei nodded. Her thoughts exactly. "How's Blair doing?"

"She's..." Kei trailed off again. "She'll be alright."

"Ah." Carter said, picking up the future tense in her reply. He paused to think. "You're right, she'll be okay. Blair's a tough one. And she's got good friends, she'll be fine."

Kei smiled and rolled her eyes at the subtle compliment.

"Hey, how's that cold doing?" He asked.

"Getting better slowly, should be a bit better tomorrow, need to go back to school anyway. Why?"

"Think you'll be all better by Friday?"

Kei's eyes darted up, alert. It was Wednesday, Friday was two nights away. "Probably." She answered, uncertain but honest. "Why?" She asked again. Her face was threatening to split with the smile that was spreading over her face. Was he...?

"Well, there's this movie I really want to see, and I know the best place to see it." Carter told her innocently. "Want to come?"

She frowned, still smiling, curious. "What movie is it?"

He laughed. "It's a surprise." Her frown deepened, her smile fading slightly in confusion. "Trust me, you'll like it, you've seen it before. You recommended it to me."

"Err..." Over the burgers they'd had on Monday, she remembered she'd talked about a lot of movies that she liked and recommended. She even talked a lot about the movies that she didn't like and didn't recommend.

"I promise you'll enjoy it, you told me you wanted to see it again yourself." Carter said. "Come out with me on Friday night."

There were the magic words. Seven in total. She was sold, and they both knew it.

"Okay." Kei said, and closed her eyes tightly. _Argh_! "Okay."

Without meaning to, Carter exhaled the breath he'd been holding on to as he waited for her answer. "Okay, brilliant." He sounded like a nervous teenager, he was actually relieved. "I'll get someone to pick you up at eight, does that sound alright?" Kei agreed; eight was fine. "Okay, I'll see you there then."

"Alright... Carter?" Kei blurted out. "Why the secrecy?"

"You don't like surprises?"

Kei thought for a moment. "Depends on the surprise."

Carter laughed. "Don't worry. You'll like this one. If you don't, we can do something else. I just want to prove something."

Kei frowned again, wondering what he was talking about. "Prove what?"

Carter chuckled. "I'll tell you on Friday. I'll be there waiting for you with the tickets. Okay?"

"Okay. Carter?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm buying the popcorn."

Carter laughed. "Alright. Popcorn's on you. See you then, okay?"

"Yeah. Take care, Carter."

"You too. Drink vitamin C and stuff. Good luck with tomorrow." And then he was gone.

Kei stared at her cell phone for a moment. She placed it back on the bedside table. And then picked it up again and checked her Calls list. There it was: last call was from Carter. It really did happen.

He really did ask her out.

Then she started giggling. She couldn't help it.

She'd never been asked out on a date before.

* * *

The traffic in Manhattan moved slowly, perfect for Chuck's thoughts. The limo had just dropped Blair off at home, where no doubt she would spend the rest of her evening deciding what to wear at school the next day, Chuck's last parting remark ringing in her ears as she made her decision.

As for what rang between Chuck's ears, there were many things, and he wasn't sure where to start. But it all made a drink look very inviting.

And then, like the rest of the student population of Constance Billiard and St Judes, and more subscribers besides, he received this:

**Good evening, Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here. Your _one_, and _only_, source to the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. Gossip Girl has an announcement to make:**

**H, this means war.**

**There's only one Gossip Girl in this city, and you are definitely not _me_. Nice try on winning the popular vote with your little trick, but this one's backfiring. You should have crossed out Daddy's name from your attachments...**

**And how about your own dirty secrets? How about that rumour in the Boys' changing rooms that the whole soccer team has had a go, including the subs? Or the whisper that you tried to get into Noh last week and the bouncer wouldn't let you in? Or the reports of you, through out the summer, buying the morning-after-pill? As for your own dietary standards, when was the last time you actually finished your daily non-fat yogurt? Still too fattening for you?**

**Let it be a lesson to you, H: never mess with Gossip Girl.**

**You know you love me XOXO**

Chuck just smirked as he read every line. Perfect.

Then his phone beeped again with another message. This one however was just for him.

**You know you owe me. XOXO Gossip Girl.**

The smirk faded. Yes, yes he did owe Gossip Girl. And he didn't like being indebted.

A few quick calls, and five minutes later he sent a reply.

**Friday night, _Victrola_ is opening its doors for a party. C is back.

* * *

**"Ready?"

Blair tried not to glare at Serena for asking. She, Serena, and Kei were just around the block from school, out of sight. Serena, after finally getting through to Blair the night before, had not left Blair's side all morning. Serena's own cell was now the one left unanswered as Dan called and texted to find out where she had gotten to. She would see him later, Serena reasoned. Dan loved her, he would forgive her for ignoring him for a short while, that's what boyfriends were for.

Both she and Kei had dressed carefully that morning before arriving early at Blair's to walk her to school. Kei was wearing exactly what she had been wearing on her first day at Constance Billiard: the black boots, navy skirt, white shirt, tie knotted low over her chest, hair carefully straightened, the barest make-up on. She even had the same Kangol bag slung over one shoulder. Serena was dressed as plainly as possible: boots, skirt, shirt, school blazer, hair tied back. Everyone's attention, they both knew, had to be on Blair today.

Gossip Girl's attack on Hazel had boosted Blair's confidence, and sparked her determination. According to Serena, Hazel had won no favours with her stunt. People seemed to think it was a low blow, or even a hoax cooked up to win some desperate points. Others thought it was just too conceited, even by their standards, and too arrogant to pretend to be the inimitable Gossip Girl; Hazel was nowhere near cool enough to pass as anything to them. Others just thought it was a bitchy thing to do, to use Blair's serious problem against her when almost the whole population of the school struggled to conform to ideal body figures. Belittling Blair, who had a great figure, belittled them all.

Hazel, Serena was sure, had only lost points with her move.

But it still didn't make Blair any less nervous, and she'd been snapping at everything all morning, and carefully swallowing her words when she wanted to snap at her friends. She couldn't afford to lose them now, she needed them.

Then Kei stepped forward and put her hands on Blair's shoulders.

"Come on. Hold your head up high, stand above the crowd, don't take any shit from anyone. You're Blair Waldorf: no one shines brighter than you." She said.

Serena stared at Kei for a moment. The girl really knew what to say.

Blair nodded, checked her mirror, arranged her hair just so one last time, took a deep breath, and became Blair Waldorf.

"Alright." She smirked. "Let's go."

Kei smirked back and fell into step beside her on Blair's right, Serena on Blair's left. They went round the corner, and everything fell into place.

* * *

Jenny was feeling a little lost. Hazel's message exposing Blair had put her in an uncomfortable position. She could either stand by Hazel's side, seemingly supporting the expose, or distance herself as much as possible to disassociate herself from it. She'd done the latter, and the move went unappreciated. No one noticed her. Everyone had been staring at Hazel, and whispering about Blair. Jenny was out of the picture, forgotten. Even as the little trick started to backfire on Hazel, no one remembered that Jenny had had nothing to do with it. They didn't even assume that she did have something to do with it; she just didn't occur to anyone.

She didn't know what to do. She didn't even have Nate for attention.

Since Nate's public botched date with Kei, Nate had forgotten Jenny too. He'd turned back to his friends in St Judes, getting high with them, and pretending that Kei's rejection didn't sting. At least he'd asked, he told everyone, no one else had the guts to ask Manhattan's latest hottie. Jenny had seen him staring at Kei the day after like a hurt puppy though, still stuck in his crush, despite her complete lack of interest. Jenny had given up on him when he spent the whole of Wednesday clearly looking for Kei, despite the fact that she hadn't turned up to school. It just felt a little too humiliating for her.

So, she'd found herself alone. Hazel was surrounded by her nervous troops, Nate was off with his pot-pals, and Dan, though willing to listen at first, was not sympathetic.

She couldn't help feeling sorry for herself. It wasn't meant to work out this way.

It was Thursday morning, and Jenny was waiting for the bell to go for the first class. Everyone was waiting. They'd all got Gossip Girl's war cry, and were eager to see the next chapter of the saga. Would Blair be back in today? What would Hazel do? What was going on between Chuck and Blair, after he'd pulled her out of school yesterday morning? Was any of it true?

It took Jenny only a minute to realise that it didn't even matter if it was true.

In all her glory, Blair came round the corner and into the courtyard, flanked by Serena and Kei. The other two girls looked a bit plain compared to normal, or as plain as Serena and Kei could look. Blair, on the other hand...

The red tights were back. A matching headband crowned rich curls. And on Blair's face was a ruby smile.

Queen B was back.

And, waiting for her, was Manhattan's devil.

* * *

She looked glorious. He knew the red tights were a good idea.

Everyone was staring, watching the show. Finally, a queen whose entrance _everyone_ turned around to see. Hazel had never gathered anywhere near this much attention. Finally, the stage of the Upper East Side was no longer _dull_.

"Waldorf." Chuck greeted, smirking. "Welcome back."

She smirked back. Ah, it felt good to play The Game again. "It's good to be back, Bass." And she kept on walking. No matter what, she hadn't lost her style.

He fell into step beside her, and handed her a flyer.

"What's this, Bass?" She asked, curious, her tone teasing.

"Your own VIP invitation to a party. _Victrola_ is opening her doors to Manhattan's hottest, Friday night."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kei jerk her head up a little. But she said nothing, so he ignored it, and focused on Blair.

"I'll see what I'm doing that night." Blair teased, her eyes suddenly a little emptier. He knew what she was thinking of, and struggled not to think of the same: the last time she'd been at _Victrola_. "What's the occasion?"

The smirk on Chuck's face faltered for a split second, and he knew she'd seen. But, he kept up appearances, just like he had to. "Every queen needs a coronation." And he bowed slightly, as though she were true royalty.

She smiled. It definitely felt good playing The Game again. "And what's the theme? I'm not coming dressed as one of your stage dancers, Bass."

Chuck's smirk grew, this time for real as his imagination went into overdrive. She pulled a face at him, teasing, knowing what was going through his mind. "Just come as yourself, Waldorf. The dress code is all yours."

She raised an eyebrow. She liked the sound of that. Unfortunately, she couldn't think of anything fitting. Royalty seemed like a good theme, but the only one who should dress up as a true monarch was herself, no one else. Then she thought...

"Well, if it's for Manhattan's hottest, just tell everyone to come in their best." She said simply. Then she smirked. "It's _Victrola_ after all. I'm sure everyone will figure out what should be appropriate."

He smirked back. It was going to be a good night. "I'll have the word spread then." The bell went, and he rolled his eyes. Just when he was starting to have fun. "Stepsister-to-be," he teased Serena, "Argen," he nodded at Kei, who smirked and nodded back, "Waldorf." He took her hand, bowed and kissed her knuckles lightly, and left. The three girls watched him go, as did the rest of the courtyard's occupants. Serena's mouth was open in shock, Kei tried not to laugh, and Blair's smirk held fast to combat the mix of feelings churning away in her stomach. Then he looked back and winked at her before disappearing into the building. She scoffed to herself and led the way to class. She refused to smile. She refused to smile. She refused to -

Too late.

* * *

"Oh my God, you have to go!"

Blair and Kei were sitting in their usual spot, in the window watching over the courtyard. Blair was on the edge of her seat, her face lit up with delight on behalf of her friend. Kei had just told her about Carter's call, and the clash of dates had not yet occurred to her.

"But Blair, it's tomorrow." Kei said, torn. Blair gave her blank look; so? "Chuck's party is tomorrow night too."

"Oh." Blair said, understanding. Then she frowned. "So?" Kei started to speak but Blair interrupted. "What time are you meeting Carter?"

"He's picking me up at eight."

"Okay, say the movie starts at eight thirty then, nine at the latest, depending on where you're going and what time it starts. It should be finished by ten, half ten, eleven it's a long one. Plenty of time for _Victrola_. Bass parties don't end until dawn _at least_." Blair said.

"But..." Kei trailed off, uncertain whether she should say what was on her mind. "You don't mind if I don't go with you?"

Blair giggled, touched by her friend's concern. "Of course I don't mind. I'm a big girl, I can handle myself." She grinned. "Besides, Serena will probably be there, if she can get Humphrey to go with her." _And Chuck will be there_, she couldn't help thinking.

Kei smiled as she saw the unsaid thought flash through Blair's mind. "Okay. I'll ask Carter if he wants to come too, he won't mind, will he?"

Blair shrugged. With Carter Baizen, one never knew. She suddenly smirked. "You don't have to come to the party, Kei. You can just go with Carter, see what happens." She lifted an eyebrow suggestively, and earned a light whack on the arm from Kei.

"I know." Kei retorted lightly, making Blair chuckle. "I'm just curious to see where you did your strip tease."

Blair was instantly thrown back to that night. She could remember so clearly... the taste of the champagne, the looseness of her hair as she tossed her headband at Chuck, the lightening of her dress as she unzipped it, the feel of the negligee over her body as she danced, the weight of her necklace as she played with it... the look on Chuck's face as it changed from shock to awe... to lust...

She remembered that for weeks after, the smell of sweat instantly reminded her of him and the limo.

"Blair?"

She snapped back to the present and took in Kei's concerned, apologetic expression. She could only imagine her own expression. "I'm alright." She said quietly, answering the unsaid question. She took a deep breath, trying to get the memory of Chuck's cologne out of her nose from the night before. It worked... partially. "I'm alright."

Kei studied her friend for a moment. She knew precisely what Blair was reliving, minus the finer details. Blair could be surprisingly expressive when she didn't realise it. She nodded, believing Blair. She would be alright, even if she wasn't really now. Funny how some boys dug under their skin and never let go.

Which explained why her every other thought was increasingly about another boy. But she refused to think of Carter now. Not even to compare. Not even... Kei gave up. What movie was he taking her to?

* * *

**Good morning, Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.**

**Tomorrow night is party night, and the only party worth going to tomorrow is at _Victrola_. That's right, C's back, and will be hosting his first party of the season at his own club. Dress to impress, girls! Boys, remember those moves. _Victrola_'s the hottest place to be in every sense of the word.**

**SPOTTED: Queen B making her grand entrance back to the top, welcomed by King C. Looks like we know who's going to be guest-hosting at _Victrola_ tomorrow. What is going on with those two?**

**K also returning to school with her new BFFs, no longer sneezing. Don't pass the flu around to me! And where did you get those boots?**

**S flanking the returned Queen. Where's Lonely Boy, I wonder?**

**And where is our resident wHore? Nowhere to be seen. How refreshing.**

**You know you love me,**

**XOXO Gossip Girl**

Hazel's bedroom looked like a mortar shell had gone off inside. Everything that could be wrecked had been, and in the centre, on the bed, amidst tangled sheets, was Hazel herself.

It had all fallen apart. And so, the 'resident wHore' had thrown a tantrum every waking moment since last night's rejection from Gossip Girl, and was skipping school today.

Hazel was in turmoil. It was over, she knew. And it was all Gossip Girl's fault. If she - or he, whoever the hell Gossip Girl really was - had just used Hazel's information, everything would have turned out differently. It would be Blair who'd have been knocked out, no matter what Chuck Bass did to save her.

Hmmm. She really hadn't seen that coming, Chuck coming to Blair's rescue. First they were spotted together on Monday, drunk off their asses, when Kei was rejecting Nate. Then Chuck was dragging her out of school to save her from everyone's reactions to Blair's exposed condition. And now, they were throwing a party together, one which no one would be missing. Blair, instead of sinking, had only risen higher.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't meant to happen this way.

But worse were Gossip Girl's insinuated rumours. Even worse than that was the level of truth behind them. After a botched affair with the soccer captain she had rinsed him out of her system by sleeping with a couple of his team members, and a boy who recently became a substitute for the main team. She'd cooed at them how much better - both on the field and in bed - they were than their captain. That happened to be true of only one of them, who happened to be the captain's best friend, and who didn't like wearing condoms. So the morning-after-pill was a must a few times. As for Noh, that was true: the bouncer had sent her on her way because not only was it clear she was underage, but she was so drunk she could barely stand upright. The yogurt however... who cared about bloody yogurt?

Hazel's temper flared up again. Really, who cared about yogurt? _No one_ in the Upper East Side who was anyone ever finished their food: they'd all perfected giving the appearance of having finished their plates. So what that her yogurt was low-fat already? Ever heard of carbs?

And so what if she liked sex? Who didn't? So what that some of the soccer players at St Judes were hot? Hazel could do as she damned well pleased. She didn't need some anonymous blogger telling her what she could or could not do.

Gossip Girl wanted a whore? Hazel would give her a wHore.

It never occurred to her that Gossip Girl's rumours were not the worse thing printed in that update.

* * *

Carter couldn't help it: he was nervous. And he hated being nervous, it felt like such a cissy thing to do. Nervousness was for the likes of Nate Archibald, not Carter Baizen. Particularly when it came to a date. But then, he usually didn't put this much effort into dates.

For a start, he didn't usually take his dates to Brooklyn.

Matteo Argenio was a friend of Carter's. Carter had met the old man when he was fourteen, and the two had liked each other almost instantly. Matteo was nearing retirement, had two daughters and one tiny grandson, and was planning to retire to a vineyard that he had inherited from a batty uncle in Italy. Before he did that however he owned and managed a small movie theatre in Brooklyn. It was a small affair: just one screen, but played mainstream movies during the day, and then Matteo's own favourites after about ten or eleven at night. Carter had discovered the place on a drunken binge, and found himself watching _The Shawshank Redemption_ for the first time in his life. The very next day he went back after school, ditching his girl-du-jour without explanation, and watched _Seven Samurai_, _Rashomon_ and _Ran_ one after the other. The next day he saw _Jean de Florette_ and _Manon des Sources_. Most of the best films Carter had ever seen, he'd seen at Matteo's. Once he'd been at a party, watching some crap parody horror movie with his friends, and he'd called Matteo to ask what was playing, and snuck out of the party to see _Cinema Paradiso_ with the old man. Matteo was one of very, very few who received postcards during Carter's travels that didn't boast how many girls he'd laid and the like, but instead asked how his family was. And Carter was Matteo's only customer that he'd introduced to his grandson.

And Carter was the only customer for whom Matteo would book the screen for a private evening.

"This girl must be quite something," Matteo said again as he watched the young man slowly pace the foyer. In the six or seven odd years that he'd known the boy, Matteo had never seen Carter bring anyone to the theatre, but had gathered enough of the gist of Carter's life in Manhattan. He hadn't been surprised to receive a call from Carter, he did from time to time, but not with Carter's specific request. He hadn't thought the guy was the type to try and impress a girl this much. A surprising amount of thought had gone into this, he'd found out.

Carter had arrived early, at half seven, in a cool gray shirt and black pants, to check that all was well before Kei's arrival, and had received a message at eight sharp, saying that Kei had been picked up on schedule. That however had been a while ago. Traffic must be bad, Carter reasoned to himself. Still, patience wasn't a virtue he possessed.

"You haven't seen her yet," Carter teased. He put his hands in his pants' pocket, and then crossed his arms and sighed. Dating sucks, he couldn't help thinking.

The old man chuckled at him. Matteo was a romantic at heart, had been married for over forty years before his wife beat him to Heaven, and had been slowly living out his days until he saw her again. He'd watched his daughters falling in 'love' with plenty of boys in their younger days, saw one of them fall actually in love and marry, and marvelled as the other fell in love for the first time with her tiny baby boy, healing her heart that had been broken by the baby's father. Life, he knew, was a nasty fighter in the ring sometimes, but Love had a killer punch, particularly when it came out of nowhere. When both turned on you, no matter how much swagger you had, no matter how arrogant you were, no matter how much you wanted everything to be 'simple', you were going down, even if you saw it coming. There was no running from it, because half the time you just ran straight into it rather than away from it. Matteo had seen many couples coming and going in his theatre, and in his aged wisdom he could usually tell who would be returning with the same partner, and who would not. Carter had always boasted himself as a womanizer, but tonight...

Pacing? Fidgetting? The signs were there. The boy was going down. Had to happen sometime.

And then Kei walked in, and Matteo wanted to burst out laughing. Oh yeah. Carter stood no chance.

The girl was a vision. Her dark hair had been carefully clipped up into a modest knot, from which loose strands fell around her face. Her navy, loose-fitting dress with fluttering sleeves matched perfectly with her eyeshadow, with a silver chain belt around her waist and silver dusting in the eyeshadow. Long bare legs ended with platform heels, and over her arm she was holding a soft cardigan against the cold. She looked sensational: she was curvy, the kind of girl who wouldn't shy from treating herself with the odd slice of chocolate cake without guilt, exercised to be healthy rather than to lose weight, and took pride in her appearance through her comfort in the body genetics had given her, rather than how much money her clothes and shoes cost.

Matteo liked her immediately. And she hadn't yet said a word. All the pacing and fidgetting made complete sense. He'd paced and fidgetted before his first date with his wide, a long time ago.

"Hey," she greeted. Even her voice was something else, with her simple English accent. They, she and Carter, both smiled at each other, their faces lighting up.

Matteo amended his original thought. _Neither of them_ stood a chance.

* * *

**Disclaimer: Gossip Girl sadly does not belong to me. And I still need a copy of Beyond Good and Evil for quotes, so no worries on that count. :-(**

**Managed to keep writing, so here's Chapter 15 sooner than I expected. Going to try to get Chapter 16 out quickly too, but making no promises. Writing is dependent on me not being busy with anything else, and now that I've got a part-time job, Christmas coming up, combined with limited time on computers and Real Life continuing to be a little bit crap, my writing for this story might end up being a bit sporadic. But I'm definitely not stopping anytime soon. At least I'm not pregnant or STD positive like I was worried about last time, that's a relief.**

**Anyway, please read and review, and forgive any typos, still don't have a speedy beta-reader (if anyone's interested _please_ let me know).**

**Take care everyone xx**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

_It's complicated, it always is_

_That's just the way it goes_

_Feels like I've waited so long for this_

_I wonder if it shows?_

Blair put the mascara down and evaluated the end result in the mirror. Perfect.

She stood up from her dressing table, carefully spritzed herself with Chanel No5, and admired herself in the full-length mirror. She was wearing a strapless black silk, diamante-dusted cocktail dress that hugged her figure spectacularly. Her hair lay in wavy curls with a simple silver headband, and her make-up was precisely done. Long pearls hung low over her chest, and she was wearing classic Christian Louboutins peep-toe pumps.

Audrey Hepburn herself could not have looked better.

It was now about eight thirty, much too early to arrive at _Victrola_, and Serena was not due until nine thirty with the Bass limo and Humphrey. Apparently Serena had spent the whole afternoon after school in Bloomingdales looking for something for Dan to wear to _Victrola_, and Blair was dying to see the look on his face as he rolled up in designer ware. As much as Blair respected Serena, that respect did not stretch far enough to stop her from being snobbish about Dan's wardrobe, only to not call him Cabbage-Patch to his or indeed Serena's face. The world would have to stop spinning for Blair to give up being a snob.

Until then, Blair was indulging in her thoughts, wondering how her new friend was doing on her first date.

She couldn't believe how nervous Kei had been all Friday. For someone who was usually so still, carefully positioned and graceful, Kei really knew how to fidget. She'd been twiddling her thumbs, crossing and uncrossing her legs, examining her nails, playing with the ends of her hair, pulling her skirt down, tapping her feet, and then just staring into space every now and then, her mind a universe and a half away. It was kind of cute.

Actually, Blair could barely believe that it was Kei's first ever official date. How in the world had the girl gotten to seventeen years of age without being asked out by a guy? Were all the boys in Kei's home town blind? When she'd asked, Kei just thought for a moment and then said, "I think they were all scared of me."

Not blind then, just cowards, the whole lot of them.

It made sense though, now that Blair thought about it. Boys typically didn't ask tour-de-forces like Kei out, they admired them secretly from afar, wishing they had the balls to claim what they wanted. The fact that Kei's best friend, Drake, was a guy, albeit gay, would have distanced her off from the dating market even further. Drake, despite being a much quieter character than Kei from Blair's impressions, would have moved heaven and earth for Kei, and no guy feels comfortable dating a girl when they know there's someone around who'll beat the living daylights out of them if they screw up, particularly when they know that screwing up was a likely-hood.

So why, then, had that not put off Carter Baizen? She couldn't say she knew Carter very well, even in the days when he was a senior and King of St Judes. She knew him through Nate and Chuck, and through the social circles of their parents, when one's children were trophies used to show off, and of course through Gossip Girl. She knew from Serena that the two of them had had a 'thing' once upon a time, but Serena never really divulged the details, and didn't seem to think it was a big deal. Blair had always had the impression that Serena had few details to divulge anyway. She knew from Nate that Carter used to stand for all that was cool in Manhattan, with the hottest girlfriends and the hottest parties. Carter had the Midas touch: everything he touched turned to gold. And she knew from Chuck that Carter also stood for all that was sleazy: Carter was Chuck's predecessor, and the two were too alike to co-exist in the same town.

But that was years ago. Now they were the seniors, Carter had returned to New York City only a year ago, and, according to Kei, was now a freshman at Columbia, no longer disowned on the proviso that he kept a low and clean profile. Blair had been surprised to see Carter at Kei's party, though less surprised to hear of his confrontation with Nate, given what happened at Cotillion last year. She wasn't surprised that Carter had then spent the night talking to his rescuer; Kei was, after all, a beautiful girl, but the fact that he hadn't tried to do more than talk had really surprised her. Even more astonishing was where he took Kei after her pre-doomed date with Nate, and the fact that even then he still hadn't tried it on.

Maybe he would tonight, Blair thought, both amused and worried. Was Kei the type to be tried on?

That didn't really answer her original thought however. Why had Carter gone for Kei? What did he actually want from her? Carter's reputation went before him, and it wasn't exactly a good one. Carter was infamous for dating half the population of Constance Billiard in his day, many of them hoping they'd last longer than a few weeks. They never did. She worried for her friend: she, like Drake no doubt, would make Hell rain on anyone that hurt Kei. At the end of the day, that's what Carter was really most renown for: breaking hearts.

Kei really didn't seem his usual type. Back at school, his usual girlfriends and 'extras' were bimbos of all hair colours, girls who got seduced by the force of his attentions, girls who wouldn't take too much effort to get their clothes off and into bed. Serena had been one of very few exceptions to the many Carter got through, and this was in Serena's old party days when she was screwing up left, right and centre. But Serena was a million miles away from that party girl today, and a million miles from Kei. Kei's intellect oozed out of her very being, she had her own interests and hobbies that strayed off from the norm - that didn't include fashion or partying - and she had Blair's killer instinct as opposed to Serena's inherent peacefulness. Since when did smart, original and independent women attract the likes of Carter Baizen? Or had he not even seen that in her? Had he only seen _Red Hot_ Kei?

Or was the new Carter a million miles away from the old Carter, just like the rest of them?

Blair sighed. They'd all changed. Maybe she should give him the benefit of the doubt, for the time being. And then, if he screwed up, she could enjoy her vendetta, making him regret the day he was born.

She sighed again. Her thoughts seemed in such a tangle. Everything seemed so uncertain, so ambiguous these days.

Much like her thoughts on her own boy troubles. It had been such an odd week, even by her latest standards. When the week had started she had felt so low, waiting to hear of how her long-time ex-boyfriend and new best friend got on. Ever since then she'd caught glimpses of Nate still staring longingly at Kei. As much as it stung, it seemed so pathetic. It reminded her of the days when Nate had looked longingly at Serena, all the while professing to be faithful to her. Even then, it was just pathetic, she couldn't think of another word for it. She almost pitied him, but she was too bitter about it. She deserved to be looked at like that too.

And, for a brief moment, she had been. All it took was a strip tease and a dance on stage. But it came from the wrong boy. Or so she used to think.

It seemed as though Chuck had spent all week saving her. First on Monday by raising her spirits and pouring some spirits down their throats. Then when Hazel had sent that horrible message to everyone, he had been there at her side instantly, rescuing her from drowning in despair. And now this party that seemed partially in her honour.

It made her suspicious. Chuck hadn't thrown a party in months, his profile at school had been even quieter than hers. Why now? It couldn't just have been for her benefit, Chuck Bass was never that self-less. Everything he did had an ulterior motive, without exception. She wondered what his motive was this time...

_I don't want you_...

Blair closed her eyes. She really didn't want to remember that night. Not now.

The sad truth was however that she did remember. There probably had barely been a day that passed when she didn't remember those four bitter, calm words. That was the day she realised that she'd given a part of her heart away to Chuck, and he broke it with those words. How could she forget? No one ever forgot the times when their hearts had been broken.

Forgiving those times however...

But worse than that she remembered her first day back at school after her affairs were made public. She remembered seeing him, first thing in the morning as she arrived, getting out the limo, and seeing the absolute emptiness in his face.

For the first time in her life, guilt, shame and regret tore through her without any resistance. Those three things were rarities in Blair's life, and all three hit hard when she realised how badly they had all screwed up.

She felt ashamed of how she had treated Chuck: he hadn't deserved it.

She felt guilty for messing things up, for hiding her affair, for not being honest, for not being proud of him like a girlfriend was supposed to be.

And she regretted breaking up with him on the dance floor at Cotillion. She regretted not staying and listening to why he'd set Nate up. And she really regretted going with Nate to that room, and ruining _everything_. Actually, she regretted sleeping with Nate in itself, not just because of how much it had affected Chuck. Her fake first time had proved to be worse than her actual first time.

And it all hit the moment Chuck looked right back at her, that strange, cold morning. After that, everything changed.

It's funny how seemingly insignificant moments can have the greatest of significance.

After that, Blair had accepted her fate. She deserved it. She took her punishment - estrangement from the highest circles of the schools' circles - and never complained. Good and Bad, Right and Wrong had always been a grey area to Blair, she had always done as she pleased, putting her interests before anyone else's. That day Right and Wrong became Black and White, and she was Black.

But now... now she didn't know how things really stood between herself and Chuck. They had become friends again... but somehow that word didn't really make sense to her in relation to Chuck anymore. When they had been friends, he had shamelessly flirted with her and flattered her when Nate would forget to do so. When they had been friends they had plotted together, schemed together, and smirked together as their adversaries went down. When they were friends, they had never been awkward with each other; they both knew the score, knew the boundaries, knew that they would never be crossed.

And then they did anyway. And now they were awkward with each other.

No matter what front they put on for anyone else, it was difficult to forget that they could cause each other naked pain, and they had learnt that the hard way. Scheming and plotting against each other had brought them both down, way down, and only now, months on, were they both finally getting back on their feet. The rest of the world couldn't see, and weren't allowed to see, but they were both weak-kneed at the moment. All it would take was another insensitive, inconsiderate, cruel comment or action, and it would all fall down again like a pyramid of cards. Once their knocks just grazed the battlements at most; then they rocked the foundations, and everything had been shaky since.

Blair didn't know what to do. When she stopped chasing her thoughts round in a circle, she always came to the same stop. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what she should do. And she didn't know what she wanted to do. But, when she was really honest with herself, she knew what she wanted. But...

... she was stuck...

"Miss Blair?"

She jumped, startled, and turned to the door to see Dorota there, looking concerned. "Yes?"

"Miss Serena and Mr Dan are waiting downstairs for you."

Blair collected herself and looked at the clock. Nine thirty. Had she really being sitting there on her bed just thinking for an hour? How time flies when your thoughts spiral. She stood up, checked herself in the mirror again, smoothed down her dress, found her purse and looked at Dorota expectantly, waiting for the maid's verdict. Dorota smiled approvingly, and Blair walked past and headed downstairs. Behind her back Dorota's eyes widened. The girl was certainly going to turn heads tonight.

Blair stopped halfway down the stairs. There was Dan Humphrey in the lobby, in classic black Armani, looking very uncomfortable and therefore spectacularly funny. Immediately, Blair's spirits rose. There was nothing like seeing someone else look more awkward than you do. Swallowing a laugh, Blair carried on descending, and Serena came out from the lounge to greet her. She was wearing a gold cocktail dress with a gold scarf in her hair. Golden Girl Serena, only she could pull off that look, on anyone else it just looked tacky.

"Hey, B." Serena greeted, grinning at Blair's ensemble. "You look gorgeous." Blair pretended to be blinded by the glare of Serena's dress, earning a laugh from her best friend. "Yeah, yeah." Serena retorted. "Seriously, how do I look?"

Blair put her arms down from her face and grinned back. "You look great, S." She looked over at Dan and tried not to smirk. "Nice."

Serena groaned. "God, it took forever to find all this for him, he made such a fuss."

Blair tuned out as Dan argued back. Apparently, Upper East Side men had too much choice when it came to clothing.

"Alright, alright, are we ready to go?" Blair interrupted, silencing the two love-birds tiff. She lead the way to the elevator, her nerves growing by the second the closer she got to _Victrola_.

She hated being nervous. It felt like such a cissy thing.

_Head underwater, now I can't breath_

_It never felt so good_

_'Cause I can feel it coming over me_

_I wouldn't stop it if I could_

* * *

_When love takes over, yeah_

_You know you can't deny_

_When love takes over, yeah  
_

_'Cause something's here tonight  
_

Chuck was surprised. It was nine thirty, and people had been slowly turning up from about eight. The club was probably nearing half capacity so far, and so far, everyone that arrived so far were not particularly familiar faces, at least, not familiar enough to be comfortable enough to converse with their host.

Even by Chuck's standards, that was fairly rude.

Everything was good to go for when the party really started though. Tables and chairs had been removed from the centre of the room, making room for a dance floor beneath the stage, with places to sit around the edges of the room. Chuck's own seat however, with his favourite view of the stage, had remained with a 'Reserved' sign and guarded by a member of security. No one sat in that recliner tonight.

He himself was sitting on a stool by - surprise, surprise - the bar. He had an arm around one of the dancers; some new blonde girl who was desperate to impress the boss. She wasn't to know that he wasn't all that interested in getting into her hot pants, that she was just a front. He'd promised Gossip Girl his return, and the return of Chuck Bass meant the return of Manhattan's greatest womanizer. So holding his other arm was the blonde's girlfriend, a red head, and a veteran of _Victrola_'s dancers. The red head was keeping quiet, not putting anywhere near as much effort into the front as her girlfriend. The red head had a much better idea of what Chuck was doing and what he expected of her. They were there to make him look good, and so she smiled, and bore his occasional creeping hands, and tried not to roll her eyes when the blonde tried too hard, unaware that her boss was doing the same thing. She couldn't wait to start the show. Until then, she could wonder whether or not to dump the blonde before or after the show. She was also unaware that her boss was thinking about that too, although instead of 'dump', it was 'fire'.

Chuck was probably one of few who wasn't nervous that night. He was on his own turf, in his own impeccably tailored clothes, and he knew the deal; everyone was going to get at least a little bit drunk, party like it was 2008, generally have a good time, and eagerly await his next party. Those that didn't would fail to do so because they would forget the Number 1 Rule of Parties: leave your troubles at the door. He had done that, and so was relatively stress-free.

Or so it would seem anyway. And in the Upper East Side, how it seemed was the priority,

As a host of a party, it was part of the deal to welcome everyone as they arrived, and he'd been doing that perfectly so far. He'd leered over the hottest girls, regardless of whether or not they had a date to leer over them already; he'd high-fived guys who had a high enough reputation to be high-fived; and directed them all to the bar for a complimentary glass of Bass punch, which tonight was a blue-green concoction. However his duty did not require jerking his head towards the door every time he thought it was about to open. The blonde hadn't noticed, and the white smudge under her nose probably explained that, but the red head had been paying attention.

"Who are you waiting for, Boss?" She said in his ear, trying to speak over the music. The arm she was hanging off tensed, so he definitely heard. But he didn't answer. She wondered whether it was that brunette that he'd brought to the club once, a long time ago, the one who danced on the stage. It was easy to remember that girl; she was gorgeous, and she was the only visitor who ever had the guts to go up on the stage, and thus had become an instant legend. And the look on the boss' face had been priceless. And all the staff with two brain cells to rub together knew that after that night, he'd never been the same.

And low and behold...

The doors swung open, and in the Legend walked.

Jesus... the boy was going down.

_Give me a reason, I gotta know_

_Do you feel it too?_

_Can't you see me here on overload?_

_And this time I blame you  
_

_

* * *

_

_Mm, looking out for you to hold my hand_

_It feels like I could fall_

_Now love me right like I know you can_

_We could lose it all_

"No way..."

Carter looked up from his seat. He was in the front row, bang in the middle, and Kei was staring at the screen in awe from the aisle. It was a funny sight, seeing her dressed up for the night, with a bucket of popcorn in one hand and can of coca-cola in the other. And she was entranced by a CGI magician and his rabbit.

Matteo had impeccable timing: Pixar's short film had started playing as they came into the theatre. No trailers, no pesky advertisements for candy and the like. Just... hey, _Presto_!

_"What's your favourite movie?"_

_Carter laughed, stumped. It was Monday, and they were in the burger joint, doing twenty questions: what's your favourite food? What's your favourite type of music? Now the inevitable one had come up: favourite movies. Their answers thus far had not been particularly earth-shattering: Carter's favourite food was a particular pizza he'd had once in Sicily at a restaurant that was in the middle of nowhere. Tuna, red pepper, onion and olives: amazing. Kei's was her father's sweet potato tempura - no, her Uncle Alan's chocolate cake, light and fluffy and smothered with chocolate cream custard - no, home-made chocolate trifle, using a recipe her mother nicked from Delia Smith, with rum soaked morello cherries - no... she couldn't decide. Neither were fussy music lovers, they found, they could listen to anything, except opera, they both agreed it didn't sound natural for grown men to sing like that. Now movies... Carter's favourite movie..._

_"_Akira_."_

_Kei nearly choked on her milk-shake. "No way."_

_Carter raised an eyebrow, affronted. "What?"_

_"You've seen _Akira_?" He nodded. "As in Katsuhiro Otomo's _Akira_?"_

_"Yes..."_

_Kei giggled. "Good man, you've got good taste." She took another sip of her drink. "I don't know many people who've even heard of _Akira_, let alone seen it and liked it. Most people I know who've seen it saw it because I forced them to."_

_He laughed. "I saw it at this theatre I know, I know the manager and he likes putting on movies that he thinks or hears everyone should see. When he put it on it was the busiest night he'd seen in years. I saw_ Ghost in the Shell_ there too._ Innocence_ too. God-damn awesome films."_

_Kei's face lit up. They were some of her favourite films too, she could watch them back-to-back forever and not get bored._

_"So, what's yours?" Carter asked her._

_She thought for a moment. "I don't know. I have a very long list of favourite films, really. The hierarchy of it changes. Right now though..." She thought for a little longer. "_Wall-E_."_

_Carter smiled. "Really? I haven't seen it yet. Is it good then?"_

_"Oh yeah." She nodded emphatically. "Absolute perfection. Easily Pixar's best film, and that's saying something. The only ones of theirs I didn't like were_ A Bug's Life_,_ Monsters Inc_., and _Cars. _Actually, I haven't seen Cars, but it looks ridiculously naff, never heard a good word about it. But_ Finding Nemo_ was perfect too, and_ Toy Story_,_ The Incredibles_ and _Ratatouille_. There's nothing I would change about a single second of them. And_ Wall-E's_... there's no dialogue to speak of, and it's absolutely heartbreaking. It's phenomenal. Oh..." She broke off, grinning. It was tugging at her heart-strings just thinking about it. "I could watch_ Wall-E_ again and again, I love it."_

"You remembered..." Kei said, turning to Carter. She was unexpectedly touched, she couldn't help but smile.

Carter smiled back. "Of course. Like I said, I wanted to prove something."

She frowned. "Prove what?"

"That I was listening."

She smiled. Then she looked around the room and back at him suspiciously. "Did you book the whole theatre for this?"

Carter looked at her innocently, guilty as charged. "Umm... yeah."

She stared at him for a moment with incredulity, and then chuckled. Finally she walked over and sat down next to him. "You didn't have to go to all this trouble to impress me, you know." She teased.

He shrugged. "I felt like doing it." He said. He met her eyes, and she smiled. His eyes quickly darted further down her face, but then she was laughing at _Presto_.

She looked beautiful when she laughed.

At the back of the theatre, Matteo watched them watching the movie. The girl was completely engrossed by the film, giggling away at all the funny moments. The boy however was distracted every time she smiled at a scene, and every time her smile turned upside down as Wall-E and EVE's adventures turned sour. Carter didn't even seem aware he was doing it; he was engrossed by her. It was cute. Matteo never thought he'd see Carter be 'cute'. Oh, he was going to have fun teasing Carter later about it.

And then he watched them leave as the credits came to a close, and saw Carter take Kei's hand, and the two walked up the aisle together, Kei leaning her head up to stop her watering eyes from smudging her make-up.

Matteo smiled. He had a good feeling about them.

_When love takes over, yeah_

_You know you can't deny_

_When love takes over, yeah_

_'Cause something's here tonight

* * *

Tonight..._

Blair laughed and smiled for the camera as Serena posed next to her. It didn't seem natural to smile in Dan's general direction, but unfortunately he was the one taking the picture.

_Tonight..._

The party was going brilliantly, and it was only about eleven. The club was packed, drinks were flowing, and the music was pounding, making the dance floor heave with the beat. All the boys had enjoyed the show the dancers had been putting on, and Chuck was constantly being asked through the night for the girls' phone numbers.

_Tonight..._

Chuck. Blair had barely spoken to him so far. When she, Serena and Dan arrived he'd quickly shrugged off the two dancers hanging on his arms and guided Blair and Serena in, teasing them that he'd just upgraded his company. The two girls had just rolled their eyes at him, like old times. He'd gotten them all drinks, and then apologised before disappearing to circulate. Since, she'd seen glimpses of him talking to people, or met his eyes across the crowd and smirked at each other like conspirators, ignoring the tingle down her spine that came from the thought 'he was looking for me'.

_Tonight..._

The two dancers he'd started off with didn't reappear; they were needed on stage anyway, but in their breaks, they didn't go back to him. One of them, the blonde one, went over to him at one point and took his arm but he shook her off and disappeared into the crowd, leaving the blonde looking a little confused. Blair had just smiled and went back into her own bubble.

_Tonight..._

Serena and Blair had headed for the dance floor as one of their favourite songs in the charts came on. They managed to get to the centre of the dance-floor, leaving Dan to awkwardly hang about at the edge, and ruled the floor. Everyone around greeted them and danced around them, welcoming them to the centre, carefully giving the girls space, watching. They set the pace: if a song came on that they didn't particularly like, they slowed down, and everyone around them did too, prompting the DJ to hurry through the song. When a good song came on, they laughed and clapped to the beat, and everyone clapped with them, cheering them on. A waiter came round with more punch and made sure that Blair and Serena got the first glasses, despite the crowd, before passing the rest out. If Blair and Serena drank, everyone else did too. They led the crowd.

_Tonight..._

They were now back at the bar to get some more drinks, and so Serena could placate Dan after leaving him on the edge of the dancefloor for so long. The two were now smooching - ugh - leaving Blair to her own devices. She checked her cell: no messages, no missed calls. She put it back in her bag and took a sip of her cocktail. She wanted to dance again, but who with?

_Tonight..._

She spotted Kati and Isabel on the other side of the room. As always, they were wearing matching outfits, though tonight it seemed that they had gone with different colours of the same dress. How unoriginal of them, Blair thought. They spotted her, and stood up a little straighter, looked at each other, and to Blair's horror, started weaving their way through the crowd in her direction.

_Tonight..._

Hell no, she thought. Screw that. If they wanted to be on her side then they should never have left it. Tonight she was not in the mood to be forgiving; she didn't need to accommodate anyone that she didn't want to. And she wasn't going to waste her time with a pair of sheep.

_Tonight..._

So she followed her feet back to the dance-floor, shimmied her way through, and got to the edge of the stage. And reached up to one of the showgirls to pull her up. The red head just grinned down at her, and helped Blair on stage. Blair shot a look at the DJ, and grinned as he put on a good song.

_Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight..._

The red head stepped back, and watched as the Legend started nodding with the beat, swaying with the rhythm, taken over by... judging by the look on Blair's face, more than just the music. A cocktail of music, confidence, and absolute integrity had taken over. And she looked just as hot as she had the last time she'd danced upon that stage - no, better. The other dancers cheered her on, falling into sync behind Blair, making the perfect background. No one was asking for their numbers now; all eyes were on Blair.

_Tonight..._

And then she felt hands on her waist.

_Tonight..._

Blair spun round in shock, only to be gripped in Chuck's arms. _Oh God..._ He just smiled at her, quickly cast a look back at the crowd behind her, alerting her to everyone's stares. _Don't freeze up,_ he seemed to say. And then he held up a hand to her; _dance with me_. She smiled, took it, and grinned as he spun her out and back. And then they just danced, up close, his hands still on her waist, his fingers fitting perfectly as her body swayed with his. It was just on the edge of raunchy, just a little bit dirty. It was all in their hips, making their bodies ripple with the rhythm. The whole crowd could see the looks on the couple's faces though, though they couldn't see anything at all anymore, except each other. Blair had that fantastic, sexy grin that she'd worn last time she'd danced on _Victrola_'s stage solo, and Chuck's was just as lusty as it always was for Chuck Bass. And yet, that unseen barrier was still there. Chuck's hands never strayed, their heads stayed a foot apart, their legs never parted the others, none of the things that dancers do when things begin to heat up. It still looked sexy as hell, and everyone was grabbing their cell phones to take photos for Gossip Girl, but for all their appearances, it still wasn't the same. There wouldn't be a ride home.

_Tonight..._

The song came to its end, and Chuck smirked and dipped his dance partner as the crowd cheered and whistled. She laughed as he quickly pulled her back up, and his fingers mentally twitched as their faces came inches apart. _It's Blair_, his new-found conscience yelled. _Don't push it_. Another song came on, and the crowd beneath them started dancing again, but Chuck and Blair stayed still in their own bubble, their eyes searching each other's faces but never meeting each other, keenly aware of each other's breath on their faces, the feel of Blair's dress in his hands and her body beyond it, the heat from Chuck's shoulders through his suit. _Don't push it. It's not right. Not yet. Not yet..._

Blair ducked her head as the exact same thought spread through her mind, and she subtly pulled away just as Chuck removed his hands. She turned her head to stare across the room, and smiled. Chuck followed her gaze, but didn't smile himself. Kei had just arrived, with Carter.

___And I'll be loving you all the time, it's true_

___'Cause I want to make it right with you

* * *

_

_When love takes over..._

"Everyone's staring," Carter said in Kei's ear, amused. She grinned. She'd noticed too. Damn. She'd kind of enjoyed not having Gossip Girl gossip about her personal life too much.

_When love takes over..._

She'd been having an absolutely wonderful night. She kept smiling, she couldn't believe that Carter had thought to put on _Wall-E _for her. It was such a recent release, one that topped her list of 'DVDs to get when they come out' rather than the list of 'DVDs to get when they're on sale'. It wasn't what someone would immediately think to take a date to see. It was a major family film. Every critic she'd read had all given audiences warnings before seeing _Wall-E_, saying that while you would have to have no heart in order to dislike the film, it might be a bit odd to get their heads round, not because of complicated plots or anything like that, but just the sheer fact that the two main characters don't 'talk', that characters with actual dialogue don't appear for a large chunk of the movie, that it was perhaps quite a bit more sophisticated than the usual Disney film.

_When love takes over... _

But it wasn't just that that made her surprised that Carter had chosen it, it was the reasons he gave himself. She'd liked those reasons. She was going to have to pay extra careful attention too, and pay him in kind. She felt like doing it too.

_When love takes over..._

During the taxi ride to _Victrola_ Carter had been telling her what he thought about the film. He'd turned out to be quite thoughtful; he liked how simple _Wall-E_'s sophistication actually was: when it really boiled down to it, most of the way that humans communicated was through how they behaved, not through what they said. He liked how the film so brilliantly built up characters that never spoke, to the point where you felt like you knew what they would say if they could speak properly. He liked that Wall-E's honest, eccentric, and good-hearted intentions and deeds won EVE over after 'she' had been so cool towards 'him' before. In the Upper East Side, good deeds never won fair maiden's heart, he teased, it was all about good manipulation. And then he'd laughed: he liked that a pair of robots with no anatomy could be called 'he' and 'she'. He'd smirked at her, and said, mimicking her accent, "good girl, you've got good taste". And earned a light whack on the arm, which made him laugh even more.

_When love takes over... _

She liked the guy. He made her smile and laugh, and gave her his attention completely. She'd always hated seeing girls with boyfriends who seemed to never pay them any attention except to get a snog, and then some. What was the point of being with someone who never thought to notice you? For her, it defied the definition of 'relationship'. It was why she'd never really dated before, besides the fact that no one had ever really asked to date her; she didn't want to waste her time with guys who were just after something, rather than someone. She liked that Carter had been treating her, so far anyway, like he was interested in _her_, rather than what he could _get_ from her. She wasn't naive, he was still a guy, but... well, she was still a girl too.

_When love takes over..._

So she happily took his hand and stayed by his side, trying not to shout too loud in his ear to be heard over the music. She tried not to tingle when she felt his breath on her neck whenever he spoke to her, when he put his hands on her waist to steady her as they pushed through the crowd to see what people were cheering at on stage, when he smiled at her as though she was the only other person in the room.

_When love takes over..._

She smiled when she spotted Blair dancing on the stage and clapped to cheer her on, while Carter deafened her with a wolf-whistle. She watched as Chuck ascended the steps to the stage to appear behind Blair, and, after a second, danced together. She saw the awkwardness that the crowd did not, and smiled to herself. It was a start. The two of them had to figure out what they wanted for themselves; she wasn't going to interfere, she would only listen and watch, and hope that there wouldn't be any pieces to pick up later.

_Over... _

"Want to dance?" She turned to Carter at her side. He smiled at her, his eyes twinkling. There it was again, that tingle in her spine.

_Over..._

"Sure." She took his hand and followed him on to the dance-floor.

_Over... _

Everyone stared. No surprise really: Kei, the 'New Girl', one of the hottest girls in the Manhattan scene, had turned up to _Victrola_ with Carter Baizen, former King of the Upper East Side, as a date. As if the gossip on Blair and Chuck wasn't enough. Gossip Girl was probably going to have a field day with all this. Kei couldn't help but feel gloomy about it. Before, it had all seemed harmless and insignificant, all her mentions in Gossip Girl's blog. Now, it was actually going to be her personal business that would be scrutinized over, and she wasn't looking forward to it. Kei was used to being a relatively private person; she shared her business with whomever she chose. Now, that was about to slip out of her hands.

_Over... _

And then Carter turned back to her, and her worried vanished. She could worry about Gossip Girl tomorrow. Tonight, she wanted to dance. He stepped closer to her, took one hand and spun her round and into him, and placed his hands on her waist. She'd never danced like this before, but her arms automatically clasped over his shoulders, and the two turned slowly together on the spot, swaying to the music, their feet naturally finding themselves pacing to the slowish beat. He took one step closer to her, and she rested her head in the crook of his neck.

_Over..._

It felt nice; comfortable and natural. She closed her eyes and breathed in his scent: clean, crisp cologne that didn't clog her nose up with sensation. She could feel his pulse gently in her ear. She felt him rest his head on top of hers, and pulled her a little closer. She moaned quietly. She was sucker for being held like that.

_Over... _

They stayed like that for a few songs, they didn't know how many, they didn't keep track. Nothing came on that got either particularly moving, though neither really noticed anymore; their feet stopped moving to the rhythm a while ago. They just swayed together, content, oblivious to the flashes of cell phone cameras going off around them. Much like Chuck and Blair had been, they danced in their own bubble, but unlike Chuck and Blair, they didn't care about the appearance of the bubble. They didn't need to grind against each other, or swirl their hips suggestively at each other; they didn't need to show off at all.

_Over... _

Then suddenly she felt Carter's chin nudge her forehead. She pulled her head back to look up at him, curious. Their eyes met and stuck together; she felt like he was looking straight into her soul. It made her a little nervous... but not nervous enough to look away. Then his eyes moved down her face, rested on her lips for a moment, and then looked back up at her eyes again. Her lips parted and her breathing quickened. Did she really just see him do that? Her own eyes fell down from his before she could stop herself... his lips looked so... so...

_Over...__ over...__ over..._

And then she saw nothing as he leaned his head down, brushed his lips against hers, before finally sealing them with a kiss. A kiss that grew tentatively, a learning kiss, a beginner's kiss. A first kiss.

Nothing would ever be the same again.

_When love takes over, yeah_

_You know you can't deny_

_When love takes over, yeah_

_'Cause something's here tonight_

* * *

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, nor the lyrics to 'When Love Takes Over' by David Guetta featuring Kelly Rowland. Awesome song though.**

**I managed to get this done much earlier than expected. Consider it a Christmas Present to all my readers.**

**Making no promises on Chapter 17, other than it will appear sometime. Please read and review, and the reviews will feed me.**

**Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! See you all in 2010! xoxo  
**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

**Good morning Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. Gather round everyone, I know you're dying to be reminded of _Victrola_'s secrets. Get your hangover cures out, we had an absolutely _awesome_ night last night, some more that others...**

**Queen B and King C, where did you learn those moves? Been practising lately? Or is this all remembered from another life? Oh boy, gossip doesn't get better than this...**

**Wait a minute... oh yes, it does.**

**Guess who K (New Girl, not K of I & K) brought as her date? None other than former King of the Upper East Side, Carter Baizen. When did this happen? I take my hat off to you, K, it's quite an achievement keeping secrets from me. I think we'll be seeing quite a bit of those two together, considering that kiss on the dancefloor. Sorry, _kisses _plural. Phwoar...**

**And yet, it appears everyone went home alone. **

**SPOTTED LAST NIGHT: The Bass limo dropping off B, alone, and C later spotted entering the Van-der-Woodsen-Bass abode, also alone. B, have you converted the legendary Manhattan devil to monogamy?**

**K stepping out of a taxi outside _The Silver Sakura_ and saying sweet _adieu _to CB before waving him off too.**

**The only one who appears to have not slept in their own bed last night was S, but that's hardly new news. If she'd slept in someone _else's_ bed other than Lonely Boy's however, that would be _news_.**

**ALSO SPOTTED: C, B and K doing Springboks at the bar. How are the hangovers?**

**I & K dancing on stage at _Victrola_ after B's turn. The showgirls weren't nearly as impressed. Neither was anyone else.**

**Little J trying to get into _Victrola_. Sweetie... you could pass for a 12 year old. Leave the serious partying to us.**

**SPOTTED THIS MORNING: K delivering croissants to B's. Do share the gossip with us too, girls. After all...**

**You know you love me,**

**XOXO Gossip Girl**

_Counting all different ideas drifting away  
Past and present they don't matter  
Now the future's sorted out  
Watch her moving in elliptical patterns  
Think it's not what you say  
What you say is way too complicated  
For a minute thought I couldn't tell how to fall out_

"So...?"

Blair stared blankly at her friend. "So...?"

Kei grinned. She wasn't falling for the innocent routine. "So... what in the heck was going on with Bass last night?"

Blair's stare stopped looking blank very quickly. Almost as quickly, she stared at the duvet, avoiding Kei's eyes. "Nothing."

Kei's eyebrow rose. "Really?" She chuckled. "Didn't look like complete 'nothing' when I arrived." She let the chuckle die. "Seriously, what's happening between you two?"

Blair shifted on her spot on the duvet uncomfortably. "Just read Gossip Girl," she said grumpily, "I'm sure she'll tell you."

"I don't give a shit what Gossip Girl says, Blair." Kei said, her tone turning stern. "And you know that." She shifted too, her expression concerned. "B?"

_Don't push it. It's not right. Not yet. Not yet..._

_Blair ducked her head as the exact same thought spread through Chuck's mind, and she subtly pulled away just as he removed his hands. She turned her head to stare across the room, and smiled. Chuck followed her gaze, but didn't smile himself. Kei had just arrived, with Carter._

_"What the -" Chuck snarled, and started heading over to the new couple. Started: a hand grabbed his arm and held him back._

_"What are you doing?" Blair asked, a mix of confusion and demand in her voice. He read her face for a moment and then looked back at Carter. Blair followed his eyes, and frowned, confused even more. But her grip only tightened. "Bass?"_

_He looked away from Carter, but didn't look back at Blair. His face was tight with irritation, and then he let it wash away. He could deal with Carter later -_

_"Leave them be."_

_He finally looked back at Blair, and met her absolute no-nonsense expression. This wasn't a request; this was a demand alright. "She knows what she's doing." Blair said. "So leave them be." She let go of his arm. "It's not your place to interfere in her business, any more that it's mine."_

_Chuck stared at her for a moment, trying to keep his amazement off his face. Since when did they not interfere with the lives of others on principle? He turned back to look at Kei herself. She was smiling up at Carter, her face animated as she talked to him. Baizen was smiling back at her, his smile empty of malicious and devious intent. Chuck realised Blair was right: Kei's business was her own._

_"Of course, if he messes up, then we'll drive him out of the city." Blair commented, smirking. "As we do best."_

_Chuck smiled. He liked 'we'._

_"Come on, get me a drink."_

_He smirked and turned back to her own smirk. He held his arm out for her to take hold of, and she linked arms with him as he led her through the crowd to the bar._

_He stayed by her side the whole night, barely a foot away. When they went to the bar he got her a stool and stood next to her like a barrier from the crowd. When they spoke they had to yell in each other's ears over the music and noise, and his breath made her neck tingle. When he invited her to dance she lead the way, and he kept a hand on her back as they weaved through the crowd. When they danced they were a little more careful, not as raunchy as they were on stage, but he still took her hand to spin her, and his fingers lingered on her skin, giving her goosebumps._

_And then he gave her a ride home, and they sat in comfortable silence, tired, slightly drunk; Blair almost fell asleep, hypnotised by the lights of the city coming in through the window._

_She would remember that feeling for a long time; she felt content._

_When the limo pulled up outside her home she couldn't believe that she was there already, that the night was now over. But, all good things have to come to an end, so she said good night and got out of the limo._

_She wasn't expecting Chuck to follow her, take her hand, bow and kiss her knuckles, and bid her good night with a gentle smirk. She didn't turn back as she went up the steps, went through the door, and stepped inside the elevator. But she knew that he didn't get back into the car and drive off until she was out of sight, because she heard the limo door shut as she was getting into the elevator; as the doors pinged closed, she couldn't help but smile._

"That's sweet."

Blair blushed, and reddened further as she realised that she was blushing, and that Kei was smiling at her teasingly. Chuck Bass and sweet? Not what usually springs to mind. She glared good naturedly at Kei. "Alright, so what happened with Carter then?" It was Kei's turn to blush. "Don't think that I didn't notice all the lip-locking and tongue hockey -" Kei burst out laughing. "- Gossip Girl certainly did." Kei fell silent. Hmmm. "So start spilling."

Kei laughed. Then she shrugged. "We kissed." She blushed deeper red. "Err... that's about it."

Blair just looked at her, deadpan. "You guys kissed." Kei tried not to giggle. She partially succeeded. "That's it?" Kei nodded. "Bull." Kei laughed again. "What happened when he took you home?"

_Carter brushed Kei's hair out of her face and leaned down to kiss her again. She leaned up on her toes to reach; he tasted minty and sweet from the Springboks at _Victrola_. He pulled her right up against him, held her with his hands gently carressing the small of her back as her arms wound round his shoulders._

_It was a very welcome distraction from trying to find the keys to the front door in her bag._

_She was tipsy from the shots and punch, and giddy from Carter's touch. She felt like she was a balloon; floating on everything._

_Carter had been a perfect gentleman all night. He'd talked, he'd listened, he'd been attentive, considerate. He'd really paid attention to her: whenever she felt uncomfortable he tried to eleviate her discomfort, by giving her space, or moving closer. The shots were his idea, but he made sure that she drank water and ordered potato chips from the bar to steady her; he wasn't trying to get her drunk._

_She liked the way he kissed her, not that she had a great deal of experience with kissing anyway. He hadn't been pushy; he'd been gentle, but he lead the way, carefully, going slow, reacting to her advances and retreats. He was careful about how he held her, and where he touched her, yet throughout the night he'd been touching her: trailing his fingers over hers, over her arms, her back, her shoulders, fiddling with her hair, holding her hand; touching her for its own sake. It was intoxicating._

_He made her feel like a goddess._

_Finally his lips parted from hers, and he rested his forehead against hers. "I should go."_

No...!_ Reluctantly, Kei nodded. It wasn't like she wanted him to stay the night... right? Then she tensed; did he want to stay the night? Was she meant to offer? What did he expect from her tonight exactly?_

_But then before her worries could run away with themselves, Carter lifted his forehead from hers and smiled down at her. "Are you doing anything on Sunday?" She shook her head. "Have you seen much outside the city?" She frowned and shook her head. "Want to go for a picnic?"_

_She stared at him for a moment in surprise and grinned. "That would be nice."_

_He grinned back. "Alright." He leaned down and kissed her again. "Hope you don't mind waking up early on the weekend. Okay to pick you up at nine?"_

_"Sure." She giggled. "I can do that."_

_He grinned. "Okay. I'm gonna head off now." He kissed her lightly again. And then he smirked, wrapped his arms round her, lifted her right off her feet, making her laugh out loud until he kissed her deeply, both of them grinning through the kiss, and then he dropped her off on her front door step, kissed her quick on her neck, right under her ear, and said, "Alright, I'm gone."_

_And off he went, walking down the street, turning back to grin at her as she found her keys - with difficulty, she was grinning right back at him as she watched him walk away - and let herself in._

_She leaned against the door after shutting it, and took a deep breath. Slowly, she lifted a hand to her lips: they felt swollen, wonderfully sensitive. It wasn't a dream._

_She couldn't help but grin like an idiot as she took the stairs._

"Awe..."

Kei grabbed the pillow under her head and whacked Blair round the head with it, making the brunette shriek with laughter as the pillow fight started, croissant crumbs flying everywhere.

* * *

_It's twenty seconds till the last call  
Going hey hey hey hey hey hey!  
Lie down you know it's easy  
Like we did it over summer long_

"Can you believe this... this... _this_!"

Chuck was groaning even before he opened his eyes. Waking up to the sound of his future stepsister whining was not what he expected on a Saturday morning. Nor was it welcome.

"Believe what?" He grumbled, burrowing his head under his pillow, not caring about the answer. He wanted some more zzzs; it was Saturday after all.

Then the pillow was cruelly snatched away and before he could dig under the one beneath it a cell phone screen was shoved in his face. "That!"

He slowly blinked his eyes several times before focusing on the message. It was Gossip Girl's blog. He raised an eyebrow for expression as he read the nonsense about Blair and himself, and Carter and Kei, and then... _that would be _news.

He snorted and dug his head under his duvet. "And the big deal, sis, is?" He mumbled through the blankets. Hmmm, it was comfy. "It _would_ be big news if you finally ditched Humphrey, God knows its about time really, it is getting a little tedious to watch."

The duvet was ripped out of his grip, right off the bed, leaving him feeling instantly chilly in just his pyjamas. He could have smirked at having got Serena riled up so badly, but this was just a little too annoying. He turned his head to his clock on the bedside table. It was still AM. What the hell was she doing back home this early? Usually if she stayed round at Dan's she wasn't back until dinner at the earliest.

"Not that, you moron, the -"

"Ah, about Baizen then. Still hold a candle for him, huh?" He teased. There was no way he was letting her get to the point that easily. "Can I have my duvet back?"

"No! What's this about you and Blair?"

Chuck resisted the urge to roll his eyes and focused on Serena as she stood at the foot of the bed, tapping her Manolo Blahniks, hands on her hips, looking stern. Actually, Chuck thought she looked like an idiot out of her depth.

He knew Blair. And whether she liked it or not, he knew Serena too. The only 'good' reason for Serena to be asking that question was if Blair sent her to find out what the answer was. But Blair wouldn't do that. Old Blair would never have been so obvious, nor would she have shown any indication that she gave a damn about Chuck's motivations. The New Blair was too content with how things were now; peaceful, uncomplicated, and best left as they are for the time being. It went unsaid, but was so blatant to both of them that it was undoubtable. Things were too fresh to meddle with, to seriously think about now.

No, Serena was here to 'protect' her friend from getting hurt. And she was, as usual, going about it the wrong way.

"I really don't think that's your business, Serena."

Serena stopped tapping her foot. He'd spoken so bluntly and forcefully she didn't know how to respond.

"If it'll put your mind at rest, then I'm not going to hurt Blair any more than she'll hurt me."

Serena's eyebrow flickered. That could mean anything, really; this was Blair they were talking about here.

"But I don't imagine Blair will appreciate you meddling in her affairs, will she?"

Serena's face tightened as she realised, with considerable reluctance, that he was right. Blair never _ever_ liked having her business dealt with for her.

"So I suggest you give me back my duvet, and get out before I change my mind."

Serena glared at him, seized the duvet from the floor and threw it at him before storming out, slamming the door pointedly behind her. He rolled his eyes finally, and settled his reacquired duvet around him and closed his eyes.

A few seconds later, he reopened them. He was wide awake now; he'd never get back to sleep now. Or if he did, he'd only return to dreams of dark brown curls and wide brown eyes. Life was frustrating enough without his dreams tormenting him.

Then, as if to save him from returning to such torture, his cell phone rang. He grabbed it off the bedside table and stared at the caller id.

And then really stared at it. _What the hell...?_

_And I'll be anything you ask and more  
Going hey hey hey hey hey hey hey!  
It's not a miracle we needed  
No I wouldn't let you think so_

* * *

_Fold it, fold it, fold it, fold it  
Fold it, fold it, fold it, fold it_

* * *

_Girlfriend, oh your girlfriend is drifting away  
Past and present 1855 - 1901  
Watch them built up a meteor tower  
Think it's not gonna stay anyway  
Think it's overrated  
For a minute thought I couldn't tell how to fall out_

Nate was glaring at his laptop screen. To be precise, he was staring daggers at the photos on the screen: a beautiful, half Oriental girl and a handsome, white, brown-haired, brown eyed boy, their mouths just parting from what was obviously a very long, deep kiss, their eyes closed, her arm around his shoulders and the other reaching up so her fingers could dig into his hair, whilst his hands were sprayed over her back, holding her chest to chest with him, clearly pulling her up on to her toes to reach.

The next photo was even worse. They were clearly doing the tango, and he was dipping her, her face open with delighted laughter, him grinning down happily at her.

There were more. They were sitting down in a corner, and they were laughing again, her face turned so he had her ear. Hand in hand waiting for a taxi, just smiling at each other. Outside _The Silver Sakura_, him lifting her off her feet to kiss her, both smiling through their kiss.

They looked blissfully, disgustingly happy. Kei and Carter. Carter and Kei. That beeping, beeping beep with _his_ Kei.

Nate clenched his fist and closed Gossip Girl's page. He'd had enough of going green with nausea.

And other things that make us go green.

He should have known. She'd defended Carter at her party. Trust Carter to worm his way into pulling the one girl he, Nate, wanted. Again, if the rumours were to be believed concerning Serena and Carter. It surprised him that Carter had never tried it on with Blair when they were together.

Not that he would have really noticed, of course.

That fact didn't occur to him. Another fact didn't occur to Nate either: the world does not revolve around him.

Nate paced furiously around his room, his head circling round itself in thought. How the hell did _Carter_ of all people manage to pull Kei? Carter didn't seem like the right type for her: he was older by a good three or four years, he was a con-man, he'd been disowned by his family because of his risque lifestyle... what the hell did she see in him?!

None of those things, obviously. Duh.

Then suddenly his thoughts took a surprising sidetrack and found themselves somewhere useful. Risque lifestyle... who else liked to live dangerously like Carter? _SPOTTED: C, B and K doing Springboks_...

He grabbed his cell phone before he even thought not to and called a speed-dial number he'd never gotten round to deleting.

"Well, this is a surprise."

"Central Park, by the bridge. Be there in half an hour." Nate ordered. He might as well have been ordering a pizza.

Silence. "What?"

Nate had already hung up.

Half an hour later, Nate was waiting impatiently by the bridge where he had spent so much of his childhood just hanging out with his best friend, and so much of his teen years smoking joints and getting high.

"So..." He heard a familiar voice drawl behind him, and he turned to see his said best friend - ex-best friend - wearing his trademark scarf, and a perplexed expression. "What did you summon me for, Nathaniel?"

If Nate wasn't thinking so selfishly, he might have noticed the tell-tale sliver of hope in Chuck's voice. It might have occurred to him that maybe now was a good chance to patch up his ruined friendship with Chuck, who he'd known his entire life. It might have occurred to him that the reasons why they had fallen out in the first place had paled into insignificance, were no longer relevant, were no longer thought of, were no longer cared about. It might have occurred to him that what he was doing was...

Well. Decide for yourselves.

"How well do you know Kei?"

Chuck stared at Nate for a good few seconds. _What_...? Nate, after months of not talking to him, not even looking at him, had called him down into Central Park, their old haunt, to ask him about Kei? What the hell?

"Err... define 'know'..." He raised an eyebrow. He couldn't help it. Besides, with Nathaniel, getting a rise out of him was an effective method at getting to the truth of his motivations and intentions.

"As in, are you friends with her, asshole?" Nate spat, his temper flaring instantly. He wasn't in the mood for Chuck's BS.

Chuck narrowed his eyes, and thought carefully. Then it became clear why he was there. And he clenched his fists to contain his anger.

"If you like." He answered non-commitally. "Why?"

Nate hesitated. He hadn't actually thought this far ahead, and thus didn't really know what to say at this point. Did he really want to put his crush on Kei in the open in front of Chuck, of all people? Chuck was one of the greatest manipulators of the Upper East Side, second or equal only to Blair. There was no way this could work out well. He should have thought of that, but there were a lot of things that he hadn't thought of at this point that perhaps he should have done.

"Is it true that she's involved with Baizen?"

Chuck raised an eyebrow. "You _have_ seen Gossip Girl's blog this morning, haven't you?" The look on Nate's face was priceless; of course he had. "What's it to you?"

Nate suddenly smiled, and Chuck's eyebrow fell, along with his guts. He'd never seen Nate smile like that: like Chuck himself, or Blair, when they'd come up with some brilliant plan to wreck havoc with other people's lives. "You're good at breaking people up," he said, raising an eyebrow with remembered disgust at his former best friend. "I want you to demonstrate your expertise for me."

Chuck looked at Nate like he was insane. "You want me to... _what_?"

"I want you to make sure that Carter and Kei don't work out." Nate said simply. Jesus, hadn't he been clear enough the first time?

Chuck continued to silently question the boy's sanity. "How?" He narrowed his eyes again, suspicious. "Surely you don't want me to..." He trailed off, also pointedly. Surely Nate didn't want him to sleep with Kei, like he had with Blair? It took a moment for Nate to catch up and Chuck saw the rage flare up in his eyes.

"No!" Nate clenched his fists too, but for an entirely different kind of anger. Ugh, he hated having imagination sometimes.

Hang on a minute... Nate had imagination?

"Just..." He struggled to find the words, mostly because he wasn't sure what Chuck actually should do to accomplish this task. "Just... enlighten her. Tell her all the shit that asshole pulled on us. Tell her about what he was like before he left New York. Tell her about Serena. Make sure she loses interest in him."

Chuck carried on staring. "Why?"

Nate looked at him blankly, growing irritated that he hadn't yet acquiesced. "Why... what?"

"Why should I do that?"

Nate blinked. Good question. Why should Chuck do anything for him? They weren't friends any more. Nate couldn't exactly call this a friendly favour. Nor could he really say that this was for her good, even though to his mind it was. Chuck being Chuck, he never gave a damn about what was good for anyone. Then...

"Do it, and I'll forgive you for the last time."

Chuck's face went blank, completely expressionless. He stared in silence at Nate, his face completely impenetrable. Nate couldn't tell for the life of him what he was thinking. But he knew he'd gotten to him. Ever since they fell out, Nate knew that Chuck had missed their friendship, had regretted their falling out. It was clear even to Nate through the awkwardness of every day at school, at every function and event they were expected to attend. Chuck hadn't lied when he said that there were three things that were important to him: money, the pleasures money could buy him, and Nate. Had that remained unchanged?

Chuck was actually thinking about that same thing. What was most important to him, his old friend, who he'd known for as long as he could remember, who he'd grown up with and loved as a brother, or some new girl he'd only known a few weeks? _Leave them be... _No matter how cool Kei was, or how helpful her presence was, or how understanding she appeared, she didn't matter nearly as much as Nate did to him. _She knows what she's doing... so leave them be..._ He'd wanted Nate to speak to him again for months. He'd missed his best friend. He'd missed how things used to be. _It's not your place to interfere in her business, any more than it's mine_...

Then it all clicked. Things were not how they used to be, nor would they ever be again. Their actions had changed everything, and would continue to change everything. Chuck had always considered himself a free agent. He bowed to no one, save his father, but that was a whole different story. He lived his own life, did his own thing, and no one would or could interfere with that. Not even Blair...

When he told Nate so long ago that only three things were important to him, he hadn't been completely lying. He just hadn't told Nate about the recent addition to that list, for the simple reason that it hadn't yet occurred to him that there _was_ an addition. It still hadn't occurred to him, though it was becoming harder and harder of late to ignore it.

And of all those things, _that_ was the only thing that had started returning to being how it used to be.

"Tell you what," Chuck suddenly drawled, transforming before Nate's eyes. Oh no... "I'm going to do you a favour, Nathaniel." He fixed Nate with a calculated look, and Nate suddenly remembered why he should never have summoned Chuck in the first place. "I'm going to forget that we had this conversation, and make sure that Argen never hears about this." Nate frowned. Who was Argen? "And I won't divulge to her all the shit that _you_ used to pull, what _you_ were like before she arrived in New York, and what _you_ got up to with Serena, if she hasn't heard already. Because, believe me, it's not possible for her to lose any more interest in _you_."

Nate's insides churned. This hadn't worked out how he'd hoped.

"And you, Nathaniel," Chuck's tone suddenly turned to ice. "Next time you think of using me to get your own pathetic way, do it a little more subtly. Because _this," _he gestured around them, to their meeting, "_is_ just pathetic. And, quite frankly, insulting to my intelligence." He glared at Nate. "I can do better than this shit." And then he started walking away. "See you around, Nathaniel."

And then he was gone, leaving Nate alone in the cold.

* * *

_It's twenty seconds till the last call  
You're going hey hey hey hey hey hey!__  
Lie down you know it's easy  
Like we did it over summer long_

"Why do you identify with this so much?"

It was late in the evening now, and Blair and Kei were watching _Breakfast At Tiffany's_, leaning back against new pillows after bursting the old ones earlier that morning. Dorota had managed to de-feather the room, but had sternly sent them out to not get in her way. Feeling guilty for making such a mess, Kei had insisted they go and buy new pillows, and inevitably they had then bought a few more things. A couple of tops. A pair of designer jeans that hugged Kei's curves just so. A dress for whatever occasion Blair came up with. A Burberry coat for Kei. Scarves for the quickly coming Fall. A pair of shoes to go with Blair's new dress. There were quite a few shopping bags dotted around the room.

The film had just finished and Kei was staring at the screen in bewilderment, trying to grasp what Blair saw in it.

"Don't get me wrong, B, it's a good film. But... I don't get it." She chuckled at her own confusion. "You're not a gold-digger, you're not the seemingly free-spirit that Holly pretends to be. You could definitely pull off Givenchy like she can," Kei appeased, still laughing lightly, "but... yeah, don't get it."

"It's because Blair, secretly, is far more of a romantic than meets the eye."

The two girls turned, startled, to the door. There, leaning against the doorframe, was Chuck, wearing his signature scarf still and an amused expression. Kei grinned in welcome, whilst Blair smiled weakly as her innards froze. It took her a moment to register what he actually said, and then she frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Chuck smirked, but didn't answer. Next to Blair, Kei flicked her gaze from the two of them, watching. She knew precisely what he meant.

"Been shopping, I see." Chuck observed.

"Yep," Kei answered cheerfully. "We had to get new pillows." She grinned as Chuck frowned, confused, and eyed the pillows the girls were leaning against.

"I see."

Blair raised an eyebrow, daring him to judge them for their shopping spree. Chuck however made no further comment.

Leaving a slightly awkward silence. Kei pursed her lips up, trying not to break the silence by laughing. Then...

"Ah!" She yelped and jumped out of bed, modelling new pyjamas. "Lasagne should be ready!" She squeezed past Chuck, who watched her sprint down the stairs to the kitchen, deeply amused.

He turned back to Blair. "Lasagne?"

Blair shrugged. "She wanted to cook, so she took over from Dorota. I think she still feels guilty over the mess we made." Chuck cast his eye about the room, and enlightenment dawned over his face, swiftly followed by a smirk at his memory. Oh, how he'd have liked to have been there to witness the feathers everywhere, and more besides...

"Chuck?"

He looked up, his imagination interrupted. "Hmmm?"

Blair rolled her eyes. She knew precisely where his head had just been. "What brings you here, Bass?"

Chuck woke up. Ah, yes. There had been an excuse - err, reason - for why he'd come. "I met Nathaniel earlier today."

Blair's face froze. "What did he want?"

Chuck studied her icy expression for a moment. "To meddle." Blair frowned and looked across at Chuck, listening attentively now. "He wants me to get Carter out of way. He made a good offer."

Blair narrowed her eyes. "A truce?"

Chuck glanced away from her for a moment as he thought about it. "After a fashion."

Blair raised an eyebrow. "And did you accept?"

Chuck let the question hang in the air, wondering what she thought the answer was. "No, I didn't."

Blair blinked. For a fraction of a second, Chuck saw the ghost of a proud smile. "How come?"

He shrugged nonchantly. "He had nothing to offer than I wanted."

No doubt about it, that was a proud smile she was trying to conceal. They let the silence hang, expressing Blair's gratitude without her even trying to cover it up.

Even the likes of Blair and Chuck knew the incredible value of loyalty.

"Want to stay for lasagne?" Blair asked.

Chuck smiled. "Only if you don't put _Tiffany's_ back on."

_And I'll be anything you ask and more  
Going hey hey hey hey hey hey hey!  
It's not a miracle we needed  
No I wouldn't let you think so_

* * *

_Fold it, fold it, fold it, fold it  
Fold it, fold it, fold it, fold it  
Fold it, fold it, fold it, fold it  
Fold it, fold it, fold it, fold it_

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: Gossip Girl sadly does not belong to me, nor do the lyrics of '1901' by Phoenix. By the way, I just stuck those in mostly because that's what's been stuck in my head whilst writing this, I can't say I really get the lyrics myself lol.**

**Sorry this took a while, folks, not been on a particularly good roll of late. Real Life proves ever distracting. I hope this makes up for it though, had a great time writing this.**

**Hope this finds you all well. 'Til next time, m'dears!**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

The weekend passed, and the usual drama of school resumed. To Kei's relief, Gossip Girl never spotted Carter pulling up outside _The Silver Sakura_ in a convertible silver Aston Martin with a very forward daylight kiss that was eagerly returned. He drove her out into the countryside, finding roads with little to no traffic, speeding through New England until eventually he pulled up randomly on the side of the road, climbed over a fence, helped her over, and laid out a picnic under an oak tree in a field, careful to not spread the blanket over any cow pats. When she saw the spread - fresh french bread, caviar, freshly squeezed orange juice, vintage English cheddar, Italian prosciutto, pasta salad, and banoffee pie - her favourite! - amongst other things, she accused him of trying to impress her with wealth's privileges, to which he replied with a smirk; 'is it working?' To which she'd given a non-committal shrug, but she couldn't stop herself from grinning; she was only teasing. When she started giggling seconds later he silenced her with a pretty bloody awesome kiss, and they didn't do much talking for a while until his stomach started complaining noisily.

By the time they'd finished eating the cows had joined them, and so they left the caviar to the bovines and jumped back over the fence and drove around some more. By the time it had gotten dark they were finally heading back to the city, and she was snoozing happily in the passenger seat, blissfully aware of every time Carter took his eyes off the road to gaze at her.

And then, bless him, when he dropped her off home, Carter gave her the rest of the banoffee pie.

Blair had grinned happily when Kei related all at school over chicken karaage - "no, it's not KFC!" - and vegetable yakisoba. Kei was grinning from ear to ear still, wondrously happy. Finally she sighed, giggled one last time and turned to her friend.

"So how was your weekend?" Kei asked.

Blair groaned, her shoulders drooping suddenly.

"That brilliant, huh?"

Blair smirked sardonically. "You missed out on _such_ a treat." She said sarcastically.

Kei scrunched up her nose. "What happened?"

"I was invited to lunch." Kei raised an eyebrow; what was the catch? "At the Van Der Basses."

Kei's other eyebrow went up. "Oh."

"Precisely."

Kei tried not to grin in amusement, her imagination going into overdrive. "So... what happened?"

"A fair bit."

Kei blinked. "Yes...?"

Blair sighed. Where to begin...?

_

* * *

_

_"Blair!" Lily Van Der Woodsen greeted with delight. "It's so good to see you, my dear!"_

_Lily pulled Blair into a hug and then stepped away from her, scrutinising the young woman before her. "You're looking really well, Blair."_

_Blair blushed, feeling slightly taken aback; there was an odd sincerity in Lily's tone, she wasn't sure what to make of it._

_"Come on in, Serena will be right down with Dan."_

_Blair followed Lily from the entrance hall into the main sitting room and sat besides her on the sofa, taking in her surroundings._

_Blair had only really seen the Van Der Woodsen-Bass household once since its renovation during her Junior year; during the summer, just before she left to visit her father. Lily had given her a proud tour of the house, telling every tale behind every decision, the vast majority of them involving Bart Bass' influences and tastes, making Blair wonder if their entire relationship was based on the renovation of the Lily's home. Indeed the former Van Der Woodsen home, that was once colourful, chaotic, kind of neo-hippyish and a wonderful reflection of the Van Der Woodsen family _joie de vivre_, now bore considerable signs of Bassness. _Everything_ had cost the greatest of expense, was the height of taste, from the wallpaper to the stuffing of the cushions. The colourfulness had lost its chaos: the walls appeared mono-syllabic in rooms, the choice of bric-a-brac unoriginal and soulless. Competing against these were flowers in every room, and the paintings on every wall. Lily's taste in art was superb, Blair had always thought, though perhaps not always matching with her own._

_Now... there were things missing. There were fewer paintings on the walls, or they'd been replaced by some of the most famous names in Art History: Vermeer, Rembrandt, to name a few. Blair wondered as she passed them if they were actually the original copies. Where once there had been exotic birds of paradise in crystal vases, there were now rather boring if perfect crimson roses. The differences were subtle, but considering the spirits of Lily, Eric and Serena, it didn't really seem like _their_ home entirely._

_And as for the last member of the Van Der Woodsen-Bass family, there was no sign of Chuck in the home's aura at all. Chuck had always had brilliant aesthetic tastes, Blair knew that, and there was no sign of them anywhere. She wondered what his own room looked like..._

_She almost paled at that thought. No, no, _no_, she didn't want to know._

_"Ah, Blair." She heard Bart's deep voice approach, turned and stood to greet the man with a polite smile. He gave her an impeccable kiss on the cheek, ever the charming Manhattan socialite, as she quickly covered extending her hand to shake his. That close, she could smell the distinct notes in his cologne, and commented silently that Chuck's own scent was more pleasant, and paled at that thought too. Stop thinking, Waldorf, she thought to herself. "It's good to see you again. You're looking well."_

_This time there was none of Lily's sincerity; it was just good, but indifferent, manners._

_As Blair sat down again, Bart turned to his fiancee. "Where's Charles? Has he not come down yet?"_

_"No, I think he's having a lie-in." Lily said innocently. Bart took a breath, and Blair was reminded forcefully of why Chuck had such a strained relationship with his father: the man disapproved of sleeping late - it wasn't even that late, it was 11am! - on a Sunday. She felt bad though; Chuck was probably pretty tired this morning._

_The night before he, Blair and Kei had stayed up watching movies after Chuck's revelation and Kei's lasagne. They ended up watching _The Shawshank Redemption_ in respectful silence, though naturally Chuck had smirked when he passed the two girls tissues at certain points during the film. Addicted to Thomas Newman's score, Kei had further insisted on _American Beauty_ to no one's protest; Chuck was even enthusiastic - "boobs!". Unfortunately it was pretty late by then, and so next thing Blair knew was Lester was high and singing in his car, Kei had left an apologetic note and gone home, and Chuck's shoulder had been her pillow the whole time. He was watching the film, engrossed; didn't even notice that she'd woken up. She fell asleep again with his arm around her shoulders, and woke up later to see the film had finished, restarted, and Lester was now laughing at 'Ricky Fitts'. And Chuck was fast asleep too. She gazed tiredly at his face in profile on the pillow, watched his chest rise and fall steadily for a moment. And then untangled herself from his arm and locked herself in the bathroom for a few minutes, changing into the safest nightie she possessed. When she came out he'd gone. It was nearly five in the morning, and despite the reluctant disappointment at his departure, she fell right back to sleep with his scent on the pillow, wondering how long he'd been sleeping there with her.

* * *

_

"He stayed that long...?"

Blair looked at Kei questioningly.

"Blair, I left at around half one, and he was wide awake."

Blair blinked. Oh... "Anyway..."

_

* * *

_

_"I'll go wake him."_

_The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. She smiled at Bart innocently. "It's my fault he's tired, we were up late last night talking about our college applications." She lied effortlessly, standing once more. Bart studied her, the thought 'since when did my son stay up late with Blair Waldorf?' written rather plainly across his face. It unnerved her when that thought started looking more calculating._

_"Thank you, Blair." Lily said, breaking the strange silence. "His room is the last door on the left, first floor." Blair smiled a silent 'thank you' to Lily and then gracefully left the room, went back into the hall and ascended the stairs, chased by the awkward silence she left behind._

_It was only when she got to the first floor that she realised what she was doing. What on earth was she doing, volunteering to rouse Chuck? Only six, nearly seven hours ago she'd been sleeping with him - literally sleeping! - and now..._

_Thank God Chuck was a pyjama wearer._

You sure you're thankful for that, B?

_Her stomach churned with every step down the hallway. The first door on the left was open - Serena's room - and the second, the last, was closed. Oh God..._

_"Blair!"_

_Golden hair blinded her for a moment as Serena pounced on her as she walked past. She hugged her best friend back, nodded to Humphrey in greeting over Serena's shoulder. Dan actually smiled, as though genuinely glad to see her. Weirdo._

_Serena let go of her and stood back. "God, B, it's been _way_ too long since you came here!"_

_Blair frowned; her best friend's voice had caught at the end of her sentence, but Serena just shook her head a little and carried on smiling brightly. "I'm sorry for asking you to this, B. Bart really wanted a _family_ Sunday meal and then said we should invite our friends to join us, and Mom really liked the idea of seeing you." Blair just gave her a look as though she were insane: she was rambling, and it was ok; Blair was happy to come. "Eric should be back soon, he was sleeping over at a friend's from the Ostroff Centre." Serena said a little slower, calming, looking a little less flustered. Blair blinked; huh. "And I think Chuck got in really late last night, probably up to his usual crap." Serena said condescendingly. Blair's jaw twitched, but she didn't say anything; she didn't dare. "Anyway, we totally have to go over your birthday plans! I really -"_

_"In a minute," Blair quickly injected. "I just need to wake Chuck up, Bart's..." She trailed off. She didn't need to finish that sentence. Serena made an understanding face - Bart's Bart - which slowly dissolved into confusion: why was Blair doing Chuck a favour? "I'll be right with you, ok?" And she gave Serena a gentle shove into her room and headed on down the hallway. Serena watched her go for a moment and then went into her room as instructed; she was slowly getting used to the fact that she didn't understand Blair-and-Chuck. Actually, she wasn't sure if she really wanted to, or if she ever would, to be honest._

_Blair knocked gently on the door and listened over the pounding in her chest. Nothing. She knocked again, a little harder, and after another moment of silence she opened the door and peeped her head in._

_He was fast asleep, sprawled over his front, hugging his pillow slightly. He was wearing burgundy pyjamas, and last night's clothes were tossed over the chair by his desk. The curtains were drawn, but enough light oozed in to see Chuck's serene look on his face as he slept. Blair tiptoed in, closing the door behind her, and as she tiptoed across she took in his room and knew immediately that he hadn't contributed to its decorating in the slightest: the walls were cream white, and the bed was a mahogany four-poster. The only thing that looked distinctly like Chuck's input was the drinks cabinet._

_Blair was uncomfortably reminded of Chuck's old suite at the Palace, and thought that that had better suited him. His new room was bland and colourless; she'd been expecting deep colours everywhere, and a bed that didn't look like it would creak a lot. She remembered years ago he'd made a point to Nate about creaking beds: funny only in sitcoms, otherwise very distracting, he'd said. She'd come back that he _would_ know, and later he'd leered in her ear, asking if she wanted to test how much her own bed creaked. As it was, they never got round to actually testing it; Nate had interrupted, just before Cotillion._

_"Chuck?" She whispered. He frowned, didn't wake. She placed a hand on his arm, the one stretched over his pillow and gave it a gentle shake. "Chuck!" She whispered again, a little louder._

_He moaned contentedly and nuzzled into the pillow a little deeper. Still asleep, his arm lifted and he suddenly took her hand in his, and simply held on to it. Blair's heart leapt into her mouth. "Chuck, wake up!"_

_His eyes fluttered open, but he could barely see, the pillow in his way. He turned his head sleepily, stared at her blindly for a moment, and then suddenly his eyes were wide open._

_And Christ, Blair's legs turned to jelly. As Chuck's grip on her hand unconsciously got tighter, her entire body woke up under the force of Chuck's stare, and for the briefest of moments, all she could think about was the bed creaking._

_Well, no, that wasn't really what she was thinking, but you get the idea._

_And then Chuck blinked, let of her hand and sank back into the pillow, spell broken. "Waldorf," he groaned. "What...?" He cleared his throat, his voice croaky. "What can I do for you?"_

_"Err..." For a horrible moment, Blair had completely forgotten what she was there for. "It's eleven am, your father wants you up in time for lunch, figured I should give you a heads up."_

_Chuck groaned. "Okay." He sighed, didn't move. "Thanks. Just give me a minute." A moment passed. "I'll see you down there, Waldorf." He said gently._

_There was no ignoring that dismissal. Blair collected herself quickly and left, her hand still burning - and more besides - and her heart clenched in her chest. When she closed the door behind her on her way out she finally let the breath she'd been holding on to out._

_"Blair?"_

_She jumped out of her skin and almost laughed with relief. "Eric!"_

_Eric smiled in faint amusement. "Are you alright?"_

_Blair plastered a smile on her face. "I'm fine."_

_Eric nodded, an eyebrow raised. She certainly didn't look fine. He eyed the door that she'd come out of and smiled understandingly. "Okay. See you downstairs in a bit." And he left her to pull herself together._

_It took her longer than she really cared to admit._

_

* * *

_

Kei watched her friend in silence for a long time, long after Blair eventually trailed off into silence after that honest admition. "_It took me longer than I really care to admit_." Blair was just staring into space, clearly contained in that memory.

"Blair?" Kei said softly. Blair blinked and looked over at her. "What's going on with you and Chuck?"

Blair just stared at her, and Kei's heart sank for her. In that stare she saw desperation, despair, defiance... and then beneath all that, all the pain... she saw deep longing. It was the most emotive Kei had ever seen Blair be. No mask, no walls, no defence, no protection. Just naked... fear. And then she looked away, and said nothing, struggling clearly. Kei watched for a moment, trying to decide. Leave it alone, change the subject, and break Blair's tension? Or push forward, and try to break through?

"We're just friends..."

Kei blinked. She was so focused on trying to decide she barely noticed Blair's lips move. But she heard. She heard the sadness in those words. The grief and regret. That longing again.

"We... we both messed up so badly last year." Blair said quietly, her eyes staring at nothing. "I... it never really occurred to me just how much I hurt him, going back to Nate. I... I don't know what I saw in him any more." Blair peered up to see Kei's confusion. "Nate, I mean." She turned back to staring at the floor. "After everything he did... messing around with Serena when he was supposed to be with me, leading me on because he didn't have the guts to stand up to his parents, and then abandoning me when he found out about Chuck. I don't know why I wanted him so much now. I can't see it any more."

Kei reached out and put a hand on her friend's shoulder as Blair's voice got quieter.

Blair sighed suddenly, pulling herself together. "Before... Chuck never did any of that. He always had his conquests - plenty of them - but... he never gave a damn about them, but he always gave a damn about me. He was always willing to help; he gave me the key to his suite for me and Nate, he spied on Serena for me. He always... he always treated me like I was worthy of his time and attention. And this coming from the biggest... ego of Manhattan!"

Kei snorted, grinning, glad that Blair was able to joke still.

"I didn't really believe him when he seemed interested still after we slept together the first time. He'd never been interested in an encore from anyone, I didn't believe that he really did from me, I thought he was just playing games. And then..." She trailed off, her eyes bright.

"Then he gave you that necklace." Kei supplied. Blair closed her eyes. _Yes..._ Kei squeezed her shoulder in understanding. "And then you believed him?" Blair nodded, and took a deep breath. "Why did you sleep with him the first time?"

Blair was silent for a moment, and then took a deep breath as though to speak, but stayed silent. She couldn't come up with the words to answer.

Kei smiled. "I can't imagine doing that myself, I've always been too nervous of just the _idea_ of sleeping with someone. And don't tell me it was too much champagne, I've used that excuse _not_ to." Blair smiled. Kei seemed so genuinely, honestly... in awe. "I'd never have had the guts to just do it. How did you?"

Blair shrugged. "It was just a kiss." Kei stared at her for a moment and then tried not to grin. "A pretty amazing kiss." Blair admitted, smiling sheepishly, and Kei stopped trying to not grin. "I didn't want to stop. And then... I wanted more." Kei's grin calmed to a smile. She understood perfectly. "He made me feel great, so I was never really scared or nervous. He never did anything I didn't like, so I didn't get uncomfortable." She sighed. "It was..." She didn't finished that sentence. She didn't want to say. What it was was _hers_.

She didn't need to say.

But the rest... maybe she did need to say.

"He... he didn't do anything wrong." Kei cocked her head to the side, listening carefully. "When me and Chuck were... he didn't do anything wrong. I get it now, why he set Nate up. Hell, I would have done the same probably. But I was... I was swept up by Nate being all that I had wanted him to be. He was being the perfect date, and everything was how I had wanted it to be... it was... blinding. It never occurred to me that I should have thought 'too late'. It should have occurred to me to treat Chuck fairly at least.

"And then... then I was so worried that he'd tell Nate everything and ruin the dream. I wanted the fairy tale to continue. And then he kept interferring, and keeping me from what I thought I wanted. And then I said one too many horrible, stupid things, and he lashed out back at me." She went quiet again. And then mumbled something.

"What?" Kei asked, leaning forward to hear better.

"I deserved it."

Kei froze, horror sinking into her. _What..._? She grabbed Blair's shoulders and shook her surprisingly roughly. "Don't you think that! Christ!" Kei spluttered angrily. Blair stared at her in alarm. _Huh_? "Blair, no one _deserves_ to be hurt." She shifted in her seat on the window sill to better face Blair. "You didn't _deserve_ anything, ok? Alright, so you _did_ hurt Chuck. That didn't give him the right to hurt you. There's no more excuse for what he did that what you did. Does that make sense?"

Blair frowned. Not entirely...

"Look, you don't think that Chuck deserved to be hurt, do you?" Blair shook her head. No... no, he didn't... "So why did you?"

Blair just stared at her, at a loss. There was no reason that she could put into words. At least, not one that didn't make her sound absolutely pathetic.

"Do you believe in karma?" Kei asked. Blair thought for a moment, and then shook her head again. Not really. She wasn't really religious at all, except when it suited the moment. "I don't either. Life doesn't give a damn, it doesn't keep a tally of all our good deeds and bad ones. No one _deserves_ anything on that level. We don't have to be _punished_ to learn our errors everytime. What happened to you was not _meant_ to teach you anything, it was done to hurt. People have no excuse to hurt each other, and the excuse 'she did it first' is what five-year-olds say."

Blair chuckled. Now Kei was beginning to make sense.

"Did you feel the need to retaliate against Chuck?" Kei asked, calming herself. The idea of Blair thinking she deserved such treatment had struck a nerve; she couldn't imagine how horrible it must be to live under that weight.

Blair shook her head slowly. No... no, she hadn't.

"Why not?"

Blair sighed. "Because I didn't want to." She said truthfully. "We were both broken, what was the point of causing more damage?" She said quietly.

Silence. Then...

"Have you forgiven him?" Kei asked gently.

Blair didn't answer for a long moment. "I don't know..." They fell to silence again. "It's hard," Blair admitted. "I want to, he's been great lately. But... it's hard, letting go of it."

Kei nodded, smiling understandingly.

Then Blair seemed to shake herself, pulled herself together, talked out.

"You know, you didn't tell me any of this before." Kei said, smiling kindly.

Blair frowned. "Yes, I did, the first day we met."

Kei shook her head. "You told me what happened. You didn't tell me how you felt about any of it. Very big distinction."

Blair smiled, agreeing. _Very_ big difference.

"Anyway, back to the original subject," Kei said, clearing the air of its heaviness, making Blair smile in relief. "How did the rest of lunch go?"

"Ugh..."

* * *

Chuck actually wanted to slap himself. God knows if it would have done any good, but it might have made him feel just a little bit better. He blamed the weekend. It had been an odd weekend. He'd found himself watching movies with two hot girls eating homemade lasagne, fell asleep in the hotter of the two's bed, slept some more in his own, and woke up to her face anyway. For a wonderful moment he'd thought he was still dreaming, still asleep, and it was just the logic of dreams that she was now standing over him rather than... hmmm... and then when it hit that Blair really was there his innards froze.

That was a _long_ cold shower...

And then lunch. Ugh.

Anyway, that wasn't the reason why he wanted to slap himself. The reason lay before him on his desk, halfway through the last lesson of the day.

He was doodling.

To be fair to himself, these doodles had an actual purpose. Hell would have to freeze over before he started writing 'Blair Bass... Blair Waldorf-Bass... Blair Cornelia Waldorf-Bass' on his notebooks, or some such malarkey. There were no hearts to be found on the pages, no 'forever's or any of that nonsense found in the Constance Billiard classrooms. In fact, his doodles consisted of no words, though it was made up of shapes. But no hearts, bleugh.

He sighed and lifted his head back up to pay attention. Five minutes before he realised that he'd just spent five minutes staring at the clock, counting the time down until he could get out.

Five... four... three... two... one...

The bell went. Well, well, the clock was tuned exactly to the school timetable.

He stared down for a moment at his notes. And then ripped the page with his doodle out, stuffed the notebook in his bag, and left. He didn't notice that Nate had been watching him the whole time, and didn't notice him frown when Chuck, as he walked past the wastepaper bin by the door, _didn't_ throw the piece of paper away.

Chuck headed straight for his limo, his head filled with purpose, and almost jumped out of his skin when he found his young step-brother-to-be already in the limo.

"You alright?" Eric asked, trying not to laugh as Chuck gathered his wits again.

Chuck laughed. He was actually kind of glad to see the kid. It was always good to see a friendly face. And Eric was a smart guy, he'd be able to tell if Chuck was making an enormous mistake. "I'm fine. How was school?"

Eric shrugged. "It was school." Chuck smirked to himself. When was it anything else? He then scooted forward to give directions to the driver.

"Mind if we do a quick pit-stop?"

Eric frowned in vague amusement. "Erm... no, I don't mind." His eyes flickered between the screen now concealing them from the driver and Chuck. "Why are we going to -"

"You'll see." Chuck interrupted. He really didn't want to realise how ridiculous this idea was by hearing it said out loud.

Eric blinked. "Okay." He tried not to grin again. "You sure you're alright?" Chuck nodded assertively. "Still recovering from the weekend?"

"Ugh..."

Eric leaned back into the leather, his eyebrows disappearing into his hairline. "Tell me about it."

* * *

_Chuck was the last to arrive at the table, his hair still slightly damp from the shower, but otherwise emaculate: clean-shaven, in black pants and a cashmere sweater._

_"Lily, Father, I'm sorry I'm late." He apologised, nodding respectfully at Bart, and smiling genuinely at Lily._

_"It's nothing, Charles," Lily said, silencing Bart. Chuck's smile flickered as he saw Bart close his mouth against whatever comment he was about to make and took his seat._

_To his right, at the head of the table, sat Bart, looking strangely formal in a dinner jacket. Across was Lily, ethereal and angelic as always, wearing pearls and a cream turtleneck. To Lily's right sat Serena, dressed in some strange top that looked like it was made entirely out of scarves, and Eric on the end, in a navy v-neck sweater and shirt. Across from Eric sat Dan, in a green jumper, looking very much out of his element around gold candlesticks and the vast number of pieces of cutlery per person, and between Chuck and Dan was Blair, who was staring resolutely at the centre of the table, a pink tint to her cheeks._

_He allowed himself a second to watch her chest rise and fall with her slightly agitated breathing, before turning away, feeling his own cheeks heat slightly. _Concentrate, Bass_._

_Lily called to the staff, and swiftly they brought out their aperitifs: duck fois gras, toasted garlic ciabatta slices, and a lightly seasoned Italian salad. Chuck wondered if the Van Der Woodsen-Bass family ate like this every night._

_Chuck had long made it a habit to not eat meals with anyone, except breakfast. Breakfast was a different affair; everyone was still half-asleep, or reading the morning's newspaper, or in too much of a rush to talk. Since returning to New York after the summer, Chuck could count on one hand how many conversations he'd had over breakfast. Small talk was fine. Anything that required more energy was too uncomfortable. Before Lily and Bart started merging their families Chuck and Bart had not have a meal together - ignoring all the meals at various events and functions - for as long as Chuck could remember. If Bart ever summoned Chuck to sit down for lunch or dinner, or even breakfast, it meant Chuck was probably in trouble, serious trouble, and had to be 'dealt with'. When they were living at the Palace hotel it was very easy to lead entirely separate lives. Time with Bart, Chuck had long accepted, was by appointment only. Now that they were living with the Van Der Woodsens, it was trickier leading that same existence as he had to make excuses until they just got used to it, but otherwise none of them knew whether Chuck ate anything at all save breakfast. Bart probably knew though; Chuck had just been going back to the Palace and hanging out in the kitchens there. More likely unknown to Bart though was that, on occasion, Chuck was a frequenter of _The Silver Sakura_. It helped that he knew one of the waitresses there, and that he's once given a free room to the owner._

_He just wasn't used to 'family time'.  
_

_After only a few minutes of silence save eating and the obligatory compliments, Chuck started to notice the glances; looks shared between Serena and Dan, Serena and Blair, Eric and Dan; looks conveying their discomfort at the considerable awkwardness of the entire situation. Considering that it was he who had requested this time together, Bart was completely silent, seemingly entirely focused on his food. Chuck was watching him out of the corner of his eye, wondering what they were all gathered for, until he became aware that Blair was doing precisely the same thing. He glanced at her quickly and caught her eye: she couldn't understand it either. And then she looked away, and also focused on chewing her salad._

_Then..._

_"Blair, how's Eleanor?" Lily suddenly asked. Everyone save Bart froze in surprise, shocked that the silence had finally been broken. "I haven't seen her in a while, she must be so busy at the moment."_

_Blair fixed a smile on her face and started talking, telling Lily about her mother's preparations for various different fashion shows around the world. Chuck barely paid attention to her words; Eleanor did not interest him particularly. He just studied Blair's face, her tone, her smile, searching for her actual thoughts behind those words. It didn't take him long to suspect that Blair had probably shared about as many meals with her mother as he had with his father of late._

_"And what about you, Blair?" Lily asked as the main course - venison and creamed sweet potato - was brought in. "I imagine you must be busy with college applications, I know you've always been set on Yale."_

_This time Blair smiled a little more genuinely. For as long as Chuck had known Blair, she was always going to go to Yale, her father's alma mater. Yale was a place that Harold Waldorf had always said had been the making of him, had been a place where he discovered his passions and dreams, where he had become himself. As Harold's daughter, Yale was in Blair's blood; it was her destiny, much like Nate's was Dartmouth and law school, just as Chuck's was the Bass empire. But unlike Nate or Chuck, Yale was something Blair had chosen for herself, rather than was chosen for her. Harold had never pressured Blair to follow that closely in his own footsteps, and Chuck had always had the impression that Eleanor didn't really care where her daughter went, as long as she brought no shame or disgrace to Eleanor's name. Barbies didn't go to college after all._

_"Serena and I are going to New Haven next weekend to visit, Daddy pulled some strings and he said the director of admissions is happy to give us an informal tour." Blair said proudly. She spoke for a little while about how she was hoping to leave New York early on the saturday morning, spend the night in New Haven, and then return sunday evening. She just hadn't yet arranged how they were going to get there..._

_"My driver will take you."_

_Everyone stopped still and stared at the head of the table in surprise. It was the first time Bart had spoken during the meal._

_"Umm... thank you." Blair said, unsure of what else to say._

_Lily's eyes flickered over Chuck and he could almost see the lightbulb light up over her head. "Would it be possible to take Charles with you?" She turned to Chuck. "Are you interested in applying for Yale, my dear?"_

_Chuck blinked in surprise. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had used the endearment towards him._

_"Charles will be applying for Harvard."_

_Chuck's spirits, so surprisingly risen, plummeted. There was no arguing with the finality in Bart's voice._

_"It can't hurt to visit though." Lily said. The tension in the room thickened as everyone stopped eating. Lily dared to counter Bart? Bart's word being questioned was absolutely unheard of. The man himself stared expressionless at his fiancee, but she completely ignored it. Chuck's respect for her grew all the more: she looked so strong in that moment, standing up for him against a man he rarely had the guts to stand up to. "I remember visiting so many colleges when I was applying, it was good to get some perspective of what I wanted from my college years." She then turned to Dan. "What about you, Dan? Yale, I hear, has a very good writing course."_

_Dan looked like a dear caught in the highlights for a moment, unwillingly brought into this strange family tug-of-war that was quietly going on. "Err..."_

_"Actually, that's a great idea, Mom." Serena put in, and she stared over the table pleadingly at Blair. "Do you think the director will mind?"_

_Blair was silent for a moment. Then she directed her gaze up the table to Bart. And, the tiniest tone of defiance in her voice, said, "I'm sure it'll be fine. For _all of us_."_

_From that moment, Chuck decided that maybe it was time to attend more family meals. Maybe the Van Der Woodsens weren't so bad to eat with after all._

**

* * *

Disclaimer: Sadly don't own Gossip Girl. Bummer.**

**Been churning this out steadily since I posted the last chapter, been really enjoying writing this one, sorry it took a while. Still looking for a beta-reader, and Real Life got in the way. Also been working more on my novel, can't write two different things at once.**

**Hope everyone reading this is very well, please review! Take care all xx**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

_You're my star my light  
My whole entire life  
Without you it's blurry  
And I can't see why  
My friends say James  
Are you feeling alright  
And I just think that I'm dreaming all night  
When I'm with you  
I feel I've been saved  
And I wanna thank your mum and dad  
For what they made  
So I just wanna say  
I'm gonna keep you  
For life 24/7 I hope to_

Kei's cellphone beeped happily. Again.

Blair, as much as she loved to see Kei's face light up every time she heard from Carter, which she seemed to on an almost daily basis for the last few days since their Sunday drive, was kind of getting a bit sick of it.

It was Thursday lunch time. A pretty normal Thursday lunch time, at that. They were just sitting with Serena and Dan, an equally loved up couple - ugh - by their window, the group tucking into teppanyaki eel.

Since the very bizarre brunch on Sunday at the Van Der Woodsen-Bass residence, very little had happened. Gossip Girl was almost beside herself. She'd actually reduced herself to just bitching at people. Tuesday morning she'd made a dig at the length of Hazel's skirt as she arrived at school, who these days was as quiet as a dormant volcano, only seen with Penelope. Wednesday Gossip Girl was somehow both snobbish and complimentary of Little Jenny's intriguing haircut: bold, stark, and hip, and very 'out there'. When Blair examined the photos attached she, if she was really honest, couldn't see the problem with Hazel's skirt, though maybe it was a little short, and thought Jenny's haircut suited her. As it actually was, she didn't give a crap about either of the two girls. Kei had raised a wary eyebrow at each update as they came, and wondered aloud whether it was really doing them any favours. They both suspected that Hazel was waiting for the right moment to strike back again. All she needed was the right ammunition.

And as for Jenny... who knew what she was doing?

Blair smirked to herself. That reminded her. Something _had_ happened that week. A brilliant, triumphant moment.

Isabel and Kati had come crawling back.

On Monday, at the end of the day, as Blair, Serena and Kei were leaving the building and about to go their separate ways, the two 'twin sisters' had appeared at Blair's side.

"Hi, Blair!" They both said in unison, making Blair almost jump out of her skin. She was long accustomed to their absence. She'd enjoyed it. It was unnerving to see them up so close again.

"Kati... Isabel..." She said slowly, her eyes flicking from one of the other. "What do you want?" She said bluntly.

The two girls shared an uneasy glance, and Blair's eyebrow arched in distaste. She knew precisely what they wanted. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Serena's surprise, yet she could see Serena had also figured it out; she was smiling. To her it was a good omen. Out of the corner of her other eye, Blair could see Kei's equal distaste. She'd been expecting this, Blair knew. Since Hazel's major stumble Blair had been expecting something like this too. It had taken longer than she'd expected though; apparently, the sheep had taken a while to figure out which shepard to follow.

"Well..." Isabel started.

"We were thinking..." Kati carried on. The two girls shared another uneasy look. This was more difficult that than they had expected.

A lot of expectations.

"Whether you wanted to have your birthday at my brother's place again!" Kati suddenly burst out.

Blair actually took a step back at Kati's outburst, her face tight with irritation. The two girls however both look relieved, having found an offering to get back into Blair's good books. Their mutual relief quickly vanished at the look on Blair's face.

"Why would I want to spend my eighteenth birthday at your brother's dump?"

Kati and Isabel both swallowed at Blair's icy tone. At Blair's furious face, they both looked immensely small. Blair's eyes narrowed. "You're both so transparent." Blair spat. "What makes you think I would want to have anything to do with either of you after last year?" _You were meant to be my friends, you were meant to stand up for me, you were meant to support me when Gossip Girl turned on me!_ The bitterness that had long been simmering boiled up. _Enough of this rubbish_. "I'm done with you." She glared at them. "Both of you. Now get out of my sight."

Isabel and Kati stared at her in horror for a moment, at the fiery phoenix before them. For that moment they didn't believe her, didn't believe that she was really dismissing them, _really_ dismissing them. But the fire behind Blair's eyes never diminished, and they had no choice but to obey.

And then they were gone, and Blair could finally breathe properly. When she turned she met Serena's shock and Kei's pride, and knew that she'd done the right thing.

No more sheep. No more time wasted with people she couldn't be bothered to care about, with people who didn't really interest her. She had her best friends with her, and needed no one else.

The moment that thought went through her head she spotted Chuck marching out of the St Judes entrance and towards the Bass limo. She heard in the background Dan greet Serena, and Kei's cell buzz again, but didn't really see them. All she saw was the determination on Chuck's face.

Maybe she needed to amend that last thought.

Kei's cell buzzed again, dragging Blair back to the present. She shook her head slightly, and then smiled as Kei started giggling at whatever she was reading. Frowning quizzically at Kei, Kei showed Blair what Carter had just sent.

**SOS! Bored outta my ass, this guy's about as interesting as watching paint dry. Dude, no one gives a shit!**

_Hold you closer and don't let go,_  
_I need to know how you feel too_  
_So hold me closer and don't let go_  
_I'm falling so please girl don't let go._

* * *

_Hold me closer tiny dancer  
Count the headlights on the highway  
Lay me down in sheets of linen  
You had a busy day today._

"You did what?"

Chuck fixed his eyes on his bowl of miso soup and nodded in silence.

Standing next to him in her _Silver Sakura_ uniform, Kei whistled. "Wow." She said. Then, she nodded too. "Okay."

Chuck frowned, and looked up at her questioningly. "'Okay'?"

Kei nodded again. "Yeah, 'okay'. You know what you're doing?" Chuck's wide eyes told her all she needed to know. "Oh. Maybe not 'okay' then." Chuck groaned, lowered his head to the table top, and she chuckled briefly. "Don't worry, mate. You'll be alright."

"I've gone mad." He mumbled into the table.

"Yes, you have, but this is a mental disease that affects us all. Well..." She cocked her head to the side in thought. "Maybe not all of us, but the vast majority of us. Like the flu."

Chuck peered up at her from the table, looking annoyed. _Alright, alright_, he seemed to be saying, _I get it; I'm human._

Her cellphone chirped from her pocket, and her face lit up instantly with glee, and her hands fidgeted towards her pocket, but stopped, and her face tightened with reluctance.

"How many times a day do you hear from him?" Chuck asked, sitting up, his eyebrow slanted. He wasn't the only fool in the room, it seemed.

Kei blushed. "It's not that bad." Chuck just stared at her pointedly. "Really." He didn't let up. She sighed, took her cellphone out, quickly read Carter's message with a smile, and then left the inbox open. "Scroll down."

It was Chuck's turn to whistle - even holding down on the scroll button, it took an age to get to anyone else's name - but whilst Kei had whistled because she was impressed, his was so sardonic she blushed even darker red. "He's eager." He commented.

Kei's back straightened. "What's wrong with that?" She replied, her tone quickly stern. Chuck frowned, and didn't answer. Her eyes narrowed for a moment, and she pursed her lips tighter. He could practically hear the kept comment: _at least I have someone_. Chuck just shrugged innocently at her. For a moment, Chuck was tempted to ask if Kei knew about Carter's seedier past, but he swallowed it down. _Leave her be_.

"So when are you seeing him next?" He asked, more out of courtesy than curiosity. To his surprise she blushed even further red.

"Tonight." He smirked. "It's my last night, he wanted to see me before I go." Chuck frowned. What? Go? Where? Kei frowned at his expression, puzzled. Then she realised. "Oh, of course, I haven't told you, have I? You're not the only one visiting universities this weekend." Chuck's frown disappeared. Kei was coming to Yale too? That would be good actually, a means of easing the tension. "I'm flying to Heathrow tomorrow evening after school, get into London on Saturday morning, Drake's going to meet me at Gatwick and we're flying up to Edinburgh for the weekend, then we're going down to Durham for a tour on Monday, Oxford Tuesday, Cambridge Wednesday, Royal Holloway in London on Thursday for me and King's College for Drake, Friday we're back in Brighton for Sussex, then I fly back on Sunday just in time for school on Monday."

Chuck stared at her, his face expressionless, aghast behind it. "You'll be gone the whole of next week?"

Kei nodded. "Was surprisingly easy to negociate with Queller, I think it was mentioning Oxford and Cambridge that did it."

"That doesn't surprise." Chuck commented. The heads of the twin schools were even more ambitious about their student's futures than the students themselves. "So you're thinking of going to college back in England?"

"Or Scotland," Kei corrected with a teasing grin. "And it's university over there, not college. But yeah. Britain's my home really. The States are alright, but it's not really the place for me. You guys don't have state health care, for a start, someone should really work on that."

Chcuk smirked. Ah, Kei the Leftie. What will you major in?"

"Not entirely sure yet. Psychology, Philosophy, Math, Literature, Film Studies... waiting for the right inspiration to hit." Kei shrugged. She'd figure it out, she knew. "Still set on Harvard?"

Chuck shrugged. "'Course."

"Then why are you visiting Yale?" Kei asked shrewdly.

"Might as well. Chuck said, non-commitally, and avoided looking her in the eye. He didn't like the look on her face.

"You don't know where you want to go, do you?" Out of the corner of his eye he saw the sympathetic look on Kei's face. She understood. "Harvard's your father's idea, isn't it?"

He finally met her eyes, and then turned away again. "Just drop it, Kei." He said quietly.

She silently regarded him for a moment. "Alright, mate."

_You're my perfect dream  
We're the perfect team  
I'm the king you're the queen,  
You're the book that I read  
Without you it feels like there's no me  
And that's why it's you that I just wanna keep  
How many times have I told you  
That I love you so many times  
You know I wanna hug you  
So come and show me what love means  
Cause I don't really know  
I've just seen it in my dreams.

* * *

_

_Hold you closer and don't let go,_  
_I need to know how you feel to_o  
_So hold me closer and don't let go_  
_I'm falling so please girl don't let go._

"You want to do what?"

Carter reddened. "Only if you want to..."

Kei blinked at him, and then started giggling. "Okay. Let me get ready."

Half an hour later, they were leaving the Argen residence above _The Silver Sakura _and were in a taxi, both in jeans and comfy shoes, heading for Columbia University's Bard Hall.

Carter had been invited to a mid-week party being held by the medical students there. If there's one rule to socialising, the best place to meet people at parties. Somehow they'd managed to persuade everyone in Bard Hall to open their doors, lock away their valuables, put their loudest speakers out in the corridors, stock up on drink and get the word out. For the most part they'd had a very easy job persuading everyone to agree to the party; most had whooped at the idea, grinned, or at least rolled their eyes and nodded. The rest were just going to have to put up with it. If they had assignments due for Friday they should have done them already. Med students are renown for having their arses worked to the bone for their courses. So naturally, they party hardest.

By the time Carter and Kei got to the party they found it at its peak: it had already been shut down twice by security, and naturally music was pumping from every corner of the building again. By the dance corner a group of girls grinded to the rhythm, interested partners grinding right back. Fingers pointed with emphasis for the drum 'n' bass in down the corridor, bodies jerking to the beat, yelling 'tune!' every time a good song came on. Heavy rock was playing in one person's room in the middle, hair flying as the room's occupants bounced and threw their heads about. Someone was even mixing tunes in the corridor, records spinning, headphones nodding to the mashed-up beat. In another corner a guy was pumping out street moves to R'n'B as his friends and a bunch of girls cheered him on. There were empty beer bottles lining the walls, paper cups scattered about, and a few casualties from the cheap vodka and lager stumbling around. The sweet scent of a joint being passed around filtered through the corridor from a quiet room where some very mellow students were lounging around discussing the ethical merits of animal testing whilst a couple made out oblivious.

Carter dutifully got Kei a drink, and she disappeared to mingle as he caught up with his friends. Minutes later he went looking for her. To his surprise she was having a dance off with the R'n'B guy, grinning and laughing, cheered on by the small crowd that had appeared on the edges of the corridor, her whole body grooving to the beat. Carter pushed his way through the small audience and grinned as she requested a new tune - _Tiny Dancer_ - and let the piano and strings flow through her body, her feet moving and shifting lightly over the floor, daring her opponent to join her with the new tune. He in turn whooped her on and started matching her moves, moving closer, grinning predatorily, hands reaching forward...

Carter seized Kei's outstretched hand, pulled her towards him, and started dancing with her, feet moving with hers, keeping her tight in his arms. She grinned up at him, her eyebrow raised knowingly, and didn't bother looking over her shoulder at the guy's disappointed face. Carter however just grinned at the arsehole.

"I was having fun there, you know." Carter frowned and peered down at her. _Huh_? "You interrupted. I thought you Baizens have better manners than that."

He smirked. "Well, you thought wrong, didn't you?" He slowly started maneuvering her away from the crowd that was now all dancing together. "You see, we Baizens are a selfish bunch. We like to _take_ whatever we want."

She banged her head lightly on the wall behind her as he pushed her against it, and she burst out laughing, only to have her laugh smothered by his grinning kiss. She kissed him back, reaching her hand to his neck. When they stopped to breathe she started laughing again. "Gonna have to mend your ways then, huh?"

He burst out laughing too. "Why would I do that? Being selfish is fun." She giggled and kissed him again. "Wanna dance again?"

She laughed and nodded, and let him take her hand and pull her away from the wall and joined the people dancing around them, staying close to each other, moving together even though they were doing their own thing.

Quite naturally that didn't last long. They shouldn't have been dancing so close the animal testing discussion room. That couple that weren't talking in there was just too obvious an example. But neither Kei nor Carter were drunk or high, so getting some privacy was a bit more of an issue for them. A quick search easily found an empty room with a bed that wasn't piled with rubbish. Carter's friends who saw him go in and close the door behind him and his little girl all winked and toasted to his success with such a hottie, but half an hour when the occupant of the room unlocked the door, they found Carter and Kei fully clothed, just making out leisurely. They didn't take it badly being kicked out by the room's tenant and her boyfriend. Instead they returned to the party, danced for a while later, moving from one genre of music to another at their seemingly synchronised whim. And when they eventually left at one am - Kei did have a long-haul flight early in the morning - and kissed in the taxi home. But when they pulled up outside of _The Silver Sakura_, Carter stayed in the cab with the promise that he'd text her in the morning before her flight while she was waiting in the departures lounge. He then told the driver to wait until she was gone from view, and then gave the address of the Baizen residence.

It only occurred to him when he set his alarm for the morning that he'd turned into, what he always used to call, a smuck.

Didn't stop him from waking up with a start in the morning by his alarm to find himself hugging his pillow. Or from texting the following: **Please get me: 1 bottle of scotch from Edinburgh, 1 recording of Northerner saying 'The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe', 1 Oxford University mug, 1 Cambridge University pen/pencil, 1 Big Ben souvenir, 1 pebble from Brighton beach. Any objections? x  
**

He got back the following within a minute: **You actually watched the Michael McIntyre sketch? :-P**

He never thought he'd enjoy being a smuck.**  
**

_Hold me closer tiny dancer  
Count the headlights on the highway  
Lay me down in sheets of linen  
You had a busy day today.

* * *

_

It's crazy. I don't think you recognize how strong your feelings are. So I dedicated this song to you. Listen.

Look I hope you recognize now what you really mean  
Without you I couldn't do the song I sing  
And I hope you like it too cause  
It's nothing but the truth your not  
Number one but you will be soon  
Believe!

"This place is so... cool!"

Blair rolled her eyes in amusement. Serena had been saying that exact phrase almost non-stop since her arrival in New Haven, home to Yale University, one of the most prestigious colleges in the world. Despite Serena being vaguely set on Brown, which she had yet to visit herself, she'd been blown over by how 'cool' Yale's campus was. Blair herself was silently in awe: Yale was everything that she vaguely remembered from her father taking her to visit his alma mater when she was little, and more. The certainty that she'd always felt about how Yale was her destiny only strengthened. She couldn't imagine herself being anywhere else. She could see herself wandering around the campus as a student, wrapped in a Yale scarf in winter, having her own Yale sweatshirt, marching from lecture to lecture, from the library to her own private dorm late in the evening after studying hard. She could picture herself reading over her lecture notes over coffee at one of the cafes, of one day being one of Yale's distinguished alumni. Her future lay here. She couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

She could see similar thoughts going through the minds of her company. Dan was admiring the buildings, quizzing their guide about the creative writing courses at Yale, voicing his admiration for various Yale alumni who then published some of his favourite books, his favourite poetry. Serena was just gushing about everything, her own spirited enthusiasm both infectious and off-putting. Chuck also looked at ease, his eyes taking in everything around him, clearly listening to everything that the admissions director was saying.

Actually, when she thought about it, Chuck had been quiet ever since they'd left New York. To be fair to him, Serena was talking so much he didn't need to fill the silence. Blair knew that it didn't really matter whether or not Chuck came to visit Yale, or whether he liked it or not. Bart was quite adamant that Chuck was going to Harvard, the best college in the world, let alone the States, to major in business so that he would one day step into Bart's shoes. Chcuk wouldn't even need to be coerced into fulfilling his role; Bart's expectations were coercion enough, and Chuck's deep-seated desire to make his father proud would drive him the rest of the way. Much like Nate, Chuck had little choice over his future. Unlike Nate however, who seemed so ill-suited to the future prescribed to him by his father, Chuck fit his part perfectly already. His mind was perfectly molded for a life in business; managing Bass Industries was his destiny written by the world too. At seventeen he'd already made plenty of successes, some that even earned Bart's approval: _Victrola_, Monaco, and their continued profits. Chuck would do just fine.

Whether he'd be happy with it however was a different matter.

"What do you think, Bass?" Blair whispered to him, smirking, as they were shown round the library. "Think it'll do for me?"

He smirked back. Game on. "It's not bad, for a second rate college." He whispered back, careful to make sure their guide didn't hear him. Even in prospective students the long established rivalry between Harvard and Yale could hold sway. "I'm sure you'll manage." He teased back. She whacked him playfully on his arm and he chuckled to himself.

Then, to his barely concealed surprise, she took his arm and rubbed gently where she had hit him soothingly, even though she literally hit like a girl. He crooked his arm up as she continued to hold on at his elbow, and they walked on arm-in-arm. "Alright, seriously, what do you think?" She asked honestly.

This was new. He looked at her oddly. She wanted to know what he really thought? Since when was she _really_ interested in what he thought? Blair Waldorf never _needed_ to know what he thought. Then he just smiled sincerely at her, took his arm out of her light grip and put it round her shoulders. "It's perfect for you, Waldorf. Gonna be happy here?"

She scoffed at him. "Of course. This is my destiny."

Only right there and then, from the mouth of Blair Waldorf, was that not sanctimonious crap. So he smiled understandingly, and, removing his arm from her shoulders, offering it to her instead, he lead her out of the library to join the rest of their 'tour'.

Within an hour, Chuck had disappeared.

__

_Hold you closer and don't let go,  
I need to know how you feel too_  
So hold me closer and don't let go_  
I'm falling so please girl don't let go_

* * *

_Hold me closer tiny dancer  
Count the headlights on the highway__  
Lay me down in sheets of linen__  
You had a busy day today._

"Gone? What do you mean, gone?" Kei yawned into her cell phone. It was midnight, she'd been wandering around another campus all day, her feet hurt as a consequence, and the bed she was lying in was so cosy she could barely stay awake. Even as she spoke her eyes fluttered closed, her brain reminding itself to remain conscious.

"He's vanished, completely disappeared!" Blair almost shouted down the phone, causing Kei to jump hundreds of miles away, eyes definitely open now. "Have you heard from him?"

Kei yawned again. She couldn't help it, her extended weekend with jet lag was paying its toll. "No, B, I haven't talked to Bass since I left New York." Kei said, settling back into her pillow again. She was too tired to be worried. "I'm sure he's fine, Waldorf, this is Chuck Bass we're talking about, the boy can hold his own."

"Kei, he's been gone for hours." Blair said pointedly, her frustration fast approaching peak-point as she paced around the lounge of the penthouse suite they were booked into. "Where the hell could he be? New Haven's not that big a place."

Kei kept quiet pointedly. This was Chuck they were talking about, as she'd said. He could have been up to all sorts. Then she sighed. Maybe that wasn't the most comforting thing to make clear. "Rung his cell?"

Blair groaned. "Yes, it's switched off, it keeps going to voicemail."

"Okay." Kei said calmly, stiffling another yawn. "Well, just wait a little longer. Who knows, he might walk through the door right this -"

"Anyone home?" A familiar voice called out as the door slammed shut.

"- second." Kei finished, smirking to herself. "Talk to you later, B." And she hung up, grinning as she went back to sleep.

Blair glared at the carpet for a moment, attempting to rein in her temper. And then, the moment she turned and saw Chuck walk in, she exploded.

"Where the _hell_ have you been?"

Chuck froze in the doorwar like a deer in the headlights.

"Why the _hell_ is your phone switched off? Where the _hell_ did you disappear off to?" Blair ranted. Finally, questions done and fuming, she pulled herself together a little. "You made me look like a fool in front of the dean with your vanishing act." Not true of course; the dean had waved Chuck's absence away, saying 'he must have found something interesting', not particularly surprised or disapproving of the group's numbers declining.

Chuck just stared at her for a moment, trying to gauge whether the worst was over and if it was safe to talk. He gave her a few minutes to breathe heavily, and then took his cell phone out of his pocket. "Had to switch it off, sorry." He switched it back on again. "Have you eaten yet?" He asked calmly, too calmly. Blair blinked, taken aback. "I'm starving, want to see what New Haven student cuisine is like?" Blair didn't answer, just carried on glaring at him, the lingering anger still simmering gently in her eyes. "I'll tell you where I was once I've got food in my stomach, Waldorf, I haven't eaten since breakfast." Chuck said placatingly. And then he started heading out, knowing she'd follow.

"So where were you?"

They were in a chic restaurant on the edge of campus, only a couple of blocks from the hotel. It was a nice place, full but calm and quiet. Dotted around were professors pouring over papers, nibbling their food slowly. Chuck managed to get them a table in the corner, close enough to the guy on stage playing guitar, with enough space around them that no one could eavesdrop. Before Blair was a perfectly seasoned Caesar salad with garlic bread balls, and Chuck was devouring his steak with sweet potatoe mash with gusto.

He peered at her over his plate, put another bite of steak in his mouth and put his knife and fork down as he chewed. When he was done he took a sip of the home made lemonade, watching out of the corner of his eye as Blair's eyes narrowed. Finally he put his glass done, trying not to smirk.

"I was kidnapped."

Blair's eyes widened with shock and she sat up in her seat, confused worry written into the palour of her face.

"By the Skull and Bones club."

She blinked, and Chuck tried not to laugh at the new expression on her face. Disbelief, relief, and annoyance. Mostly annoyance. She looked like she really wanted to hit just to vent.

"Really?" She said sceptically. He just grinned at her, daring her to not believe him. But she knew that grin, and narrowed her eyes. "Really?" She said again, uncertain. He nodded. "Oh." He carried on grinning in amusement. Yeah, 'oh'. "Why?"

He smirked and sat back in his chair, his answer written all over her face: 'I'm Chuck Bass'.

She scoffed in annoyance and took a bite of her salad, trying to ignore his smirk. She wanted to ask so many questions. Did he recognise any of the members? What did they do when they took him in? Was he a member of their group already, before he'd even started at a college he probably wouldn't even attend?

"Aren't you going to ask about it?" Chuck teased.

She glared at him. "No, I'm not."

He laughed outright. "Okay, have it your way." And he returned to his steak, still smirking. She rolled her eyes as she carried on eating her salad. God, he was so conceited.

They carried on eating in silence for a while, he calmly chewing his steak, trying not to smirk with every bite, she no longer able to taste the freshness of the leaves she was putting into her mouth. Finally she gave in and put her fork down, peered at Chuck as he ate. "What were they like?"

He smirked triamphantly for a moment and then he put his knife and fork down again to look up at her properly. There was nothing but curiosity left now.

"They're a bunch of freaks."

Blair burst out laughing. "What?"

"They are, every last one of them, the saddesr, lamest, most ridiculous individuals I've ever seen crowded into one room. They're more ridiculous than our parents, all high on the notion that it's okay for them to have a stick up their ass as long as that stick is antique gold and has been up the asses of America's richest and most influential. It's pathetic."

Blair smiled with surprise. "I would have thought you'd be more than happy to join their ranks, ascend to the top at full speed." She teased. She would have done it, if she'd been in Chuck's shoes.

He shrugged. "Probably. But I don't need them to be successful myself, Blair, whereas they do."

The surprise dropped out of her smile. Chuck returned to his steak, and after a moment of thinking about what he'd said she returned to her food too. They finished at almost the same time, both reaching for their glasses in unison. After their empty plates were taken away and Chuck asked for the dessert menu, Blair asked another question.

"What were you doing this summer?" Chuck looked up from the table cloth. Once again there was nothing curiosity in Blair's expression. This was new, Blair being curious about _him_.

It wasn't bad, actually.

"Serena told me you were in Monaco the entire time on business, but she never said what exactly you were doing." Blair said. This really was new, openly admitting that she'd kept track of his whereabouts. Then she seemed to realise what she said. "Every time she called she always celebrated your absence." She said, clumsily covering up her slip-up. Chuck smirked for a moment. That was a bit more normal.

So he told her everything about business in Monaco. About how he'd persuaded his father at let him go and replace the manager of Bass Industries' properties in Monaco who was embezzling funds. How he'd gone over the accounts and rebudgetted the resort, and analysed further investments on the business. How he'd made the beach his desk and worked in the sun. And matter-of-factly told her how much better things were by the time he'd left.

She listened carefully, attentively, genuinely curious about the business, asking questions to prompt him to continue. Dessert came - apple pie for him, passionfruit cheesecake for her. They ordered coffee for the digestion, even though it was getting late. And finally had to be asked to leave because the restaurant was closing up for the night. They carried on talking as they walked home, the conversation now miles from Monaco.

It felt weird when they parted ways for their beds, tiptoeing through to not disturb Serena and Dan as they cuddled up in front of some romantic comedy on the plasma screen, neither wanting to be questioned. Chuck paying the bill at the restaurant was the last thing to make it very clear to both of the them that they'd had _dinner together_.

They hadn't even had dinner together when they were seeing each other.

The last thing Blair did that night was reply to Kei's text: **Everything alright now? x K x**

**Yes, everything's fine. Night x**

_Hold me closer tiny dancer  
Count the headlights on the highway  
Lay me down in sheets of linen  
You had a busy day today_

* * *

**Finally finished, took for-bleeding-ever, sorry about that. Real Life continues. As always, Gossip Girl doesn't belong to me, and the lyrics are from Tiny Dancer by Elton John and DJ Ironik. Please read and review, and I hope that all reading this are well.**

**Take care all,**

**Guard of the Heradi**


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